Summary: William's Christmas thoughts.
Disclaimer: Mulder, Scully, Doggett, Reyes, Skinner and William are not mine. Josh, Sarah and Sam are. The lyrics used are also not mine.

Author's Notes: This fic came to me when I heard the song and I couldn't let it go. I tried to portray William as well as I could. To do so, I had to be imaginative since it's The X-Files... bear with me, please.

I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus Underneath the mistletoe last night
She didn't see me creep
down the stairs to have a peep;
She thought that I was tucked
up in my bedroom fast asleep
Then
I saw Mommy tickle Santa Claus
Underneath his beard so snowy white;
Oh
what a laugh it would have been
If Daddy had only seen
Mommy kissing Santa Claus last night

'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'

DECEMBER 25, 2005

I can't sleep. I have this anxiety and it's keeping me awake.

Sure, it's not my first Christmas, but it's Josh and Sarah's first Christmas. I'm excited for them.

Okay, the prospect of presents and food is also exciting me.

I sneak out of my room and into the hall. I look over to Mom and Dad's room, but the door is closed, so I don't know if they're there or not.

I go into Sam's room to check on him. He is sleeping soundly. I'll wake him up at dawn, just like I did last Christmas and we'll run and open gifts together, while Mom tries to keep us from opening them until the guests get here. It's just Uncle John, Aunt Monica and Uncle Skinner, it's not like they're actually loosing sleep over gifts from Santa.

Sam is dreaming of gifts; more precisely, he is dreaming of a bike. I got one last year, but he was too small even for one with little wheels on the side like mine, and this year he asked for it again. I think he'll probably get it.

Sam's dreams are always calm and peaceful. I've never seen many other dreams since Mom and Dad never let me see theirs. They think they are too full of fear, terror and grief and that one day I'll understand why I shouldn't see it. I think I do already, but I'm not going to jump to any conclusions.

It's not as easy to go into people's dreams as one would think. If the person is not willing to let you in there, it can be pretty exhausting, so I only go into Sam's dreams and he only goes into mine.

I go over to the nursery to check on the twins across the hall from Sam's room and beside Mom and Dad's room (which is in front of mine). They're back to back, head to foot on the crib and also sleeping peacefully. Each one has its own crib, but they like to be together, so the other one is unused in the basement.

I can't believe they're almost one year old now. Josh is twenty minutes older than Sarah, the lazy one. She loves to sleep. Usually she ends up pulling Josh with her to sleep after a while, through that special connection they have for sharing the same space since they began existing; she is also the last one to wake up.

You know, I'm still gathering evidence on the whole baby coming to existence deal. Mom started gaining weight and acting weirdly and she told me I would have a brother. We ended up with Sam. Then the whole process repeated and she told I'd actually have a brother *and* a sister, resulting in Josh and Sarah. I interrogated Mom on the subject after Dad blushed and told me to look for Mom, and she explained it, but I'm sure she is keeping something away from me. I could always read her mind, but the investigation process is fun.

What she told me is that you get a little part of a woman and a little part of a man and you join them to create a baby. Then the woman carries the baby for awhile to protect it till it's ready to live outside and so the babies are born. She also mentioned that there are some special cases that are different and that my sister, Emily, was born some other way, and someday I would understand it.

I'll probably leave it at that for awhile, all I'm interested right now is Christmas.

As I mentioned, this is Sarah and Josh's first Christmas. They won't have any clear memory of it, but I was younger than them when I had my first Christmas and I remember a little bit of it, so I think they'll be okay.

Last Christmas, Uncle Bill was giving Mom a hard time because Sam, Josh, Sarah and I can do things Matt can't. It's not like we're to blame if my cousin is stupid.

I know, I shouldn't say this about my cousin or anyone else, Mom keeps telling me to be nicer to him, but he is downright stupid. He is three years older than I am and even Josh and Sarah are smarter than he is.

My Uncle keeps telling Mom that we're not normal simply because we have a vocabulary better than his own and we can remember things with more detail than he can. He doesn't even know about us moving things with simple thoughts or reading his mind; I would love him to know that, however, Mom always stressed the importance of us keeping it a secret.

I *know* Uncle Bill is simply jealous of Mom and Dad because they have four kids (at the time she only had two, but she was expecting Josh and Sarah already) when he believed they'd never be parents, and he only has *one* -stupid- son; his mind told me that.

I swear I read his mind accidentally!

Anyway, last Christmas Matt kept calling Sam and me Spookies and I had to control myself not to kill him with a laser beam coming from my eye.

Ok, I don't have any laser beam power, but a boy can dream, right?

I think my cousin will be alright as long as he never hurt any of my siblings... I would always ignore him, but when he started mocking Sam I was really pissed.

Thank God Mom decided we're gonna stay home for this Christmas. Too much trouble to get four kids to Grandma house or San Diego. Well, Uncle Charlie has been using this excuse for years; Mom also got away with it. Grandma will spend New Year with us, so I think we're even.

I whisper 'sweet dreams' to the twins and close the nursery door.

I walk into the bathroom where I drink a cup of water after climbing on the sink. Mom and Dad are always commenting on how I love to climb on things. Mom is actually getting used to the idea that I won't hurt myself, although Dad is always pale when he sees that I've climbed somewhere new.

I breathe better now. I am always more relaxed after I check on Sam and the babies. Mom and Dad say that I shouldn't worry, but I always like to just see how they're doing and sometimes I can't sleep till I do it. It started when Sam was born; at the time I couldn't even reach the doorknob, but that was never an obstacle to my siblings or me. I'd go to the nursery and climb onto his crib and sleep with him, as if just that would protect him. Mom and Dad would come into the morning and Dad would put me back in my bed while Mom fed Sam.

I get back to the floor and start walking to my room when I start to feel the familiar static on the back of my brain.

Mom is thinking about something and she is happy, from what I can tell. I guess she is in the living room, so I creep down the stairs and stop on the sixth step, where I can see her and she can't see me.

The static is getting stronger now, I can actually make up a few words from her thoughts and I don't like to do that to Mommy, so I simply block all outside thoughts while I look at her.

She is sitting on the floor putting a bike together.

Sam's bike! I bend a little bit to get a better vision and I know there's someone else here. Someone comes from the kitchen in a red suit eating cookies.

SANTA?!?

I want to wake Sam up and call him here, but I can't move.

*Wait*! If Santa's here, why is Mom putting together a bike for Sam? Uh, maybe this is one of the *other* presents, the non-Santa ones. Once, Dad said that we get so many presents because some are from him and Mom, some are from grandma and the rest of our family and friends. However, but there's always a special one that it's from Santa and sometimes we don't see it because it's not wrapped, we just feel it in our hearts.

When he told me that, I asked him if he still receives gifts from Santa and he said that he received us, especially Sam. I think he said that because Mom saw Dad on my first Christmas and then Sam was born. It was when Dad was away to protect me and Mom took me up to see him for the first time in months. I had missed seeing him. I was always with him, no matter what, but I hadn't seen him in so long. Mom hadn't too and when we got there, she cried. She doesn't cry often, but she did then. We spent Christmas there and then returned home. Mom didn't cry when we left. I remember her thinking that she was saving tears for when Dad could join us and she would cry of happiness.

By my birthday, she told me I was going to have a brother. In the same day, Dad came back. She kept true to her words and cried. We then moved into this house, while we waited for Sam. I would put my head to her stomach and feel him kicking; I actually talked to him, but he never answered back.

Anyway, I never truly believed in the Santa deal, dismissing it as another fable as Mom puts it (when she wants to be nice... She actually calls it b.s. when she is mad at Dad, but that's always funny to watch).

Now I'm sitting here, watching Mom put a bike together while Santa helps her after eating the cookies Sam left him. So maybe the story is real.

They're done in a few minutes and they put a bow on it and Mom starts to put all the tools away while Santa cleans up the papers and cardboard.

"Are we done?" he asks, his voice muffled by his white beard.

"I think so. Thank for helping, 'Santa'." Mom says with a smile.

"You're welcome, Ms. Scully." Santa replies and I think he is smiling too because his beard moves differently, but I can't be sure because of the angle of my vision.

Santa then proceeds to one of the socks in the fireplace and retrieves something I can't see. I wish Sam were here, because he has much better far-away vision.

Santa holds the green object he got from the sock right above his head.

"Do you respect tradition, Ms. Scully?" He says and now I'm sure he is grinning.

Mom goes on tiptoe and kisses him on the mouth. She pulls back after awhile and Santa hugs her. She hugs him back and then they separate.

"I should try to get some sleep. I have to feed the twins in a couple hours." She says and I think I'll have to run if I don't want her to see me here. However, she is not moving, so I think I can stay here a little bit longer.

"I still have some stuff to do. Go to bed." He says and kisses her forehead. He seems somewhat familiar to me, but I can't remember. He is certainly different from the impostor at the Mall last week. My photographic memory is no use right now.

"I think the kids will like the gifts." Mom mutters looking at the gifts.

"I think they will. God knows they deserve, they've been good this year." Santa says and there's a strain in his voice that tells me he wants to laugh.

So he actually knows if we've been good or not.

How can he know that about all the kids?

How can he give gifts to all children around the world if he's been only at my house for over half an hour? It would take over a century to take gifts for every child if he stayed this long at each house.

While we're at it, what about the houses without fireplaces?

And why the heck does he kiss Mom the way only Dad kisses her?

I have a thousand other questions forming in my brain but Mom starts to walk toward the stairs and I have run back into my room and jump under the covers.

I hear the nursery door opening and closing a minute after and the same happening with Sam's door. Then she is at my bedroom. I could feign sleep, but I could never pull it off with Mom, so I simply smile at her sleepily when she looks at me.

"Still up, William? I thought I'd tuck you in a couple hours ago." She says smiling.

"Anxx--anxiety." I say after stuttering a little bit. It's one thing I hate about speaking. In my brain the words are clear, but when I try to say them they get rolled up somewhere between my brain and my mouth. I still get frustrated sometimes, but I'm getting used to it. Mom says that I'm too young, and even though I develop faster than other children, I'll get caught up in a few things.

"What are you anxious about? Christmas?" she asks me and sits by my side at the bed.

I nod. "It's Josh and Sarah's first Christmas. It's special."

"All Christmases are special, Will. But I know how you feel. My first Christmas with you was special too," she smiles at me and I smile back.

"Do you want me to help you with the twins when they wake up?" I ask her.

Sometimes I play with one of them while the other is being fed. Mom is always joking on how she needs all the help she can get with four children under the age of five. Even though her tone is playful, I know some of it is true and that the twins can be a handful sometimes, so I try to help where I can.

"Sure, sweetie. Thank you. You're a great brother, you know that, right?" I giggle and she kisses my head. "But try to get some sleep. I'll wake you up when the twins are up, okay?"

"Okay, Mom. 'Night. Say goodnight to Dad, would you?"

She nods and gets up. Part of me wants to ask her about Santa, but I need her to believe I'm actually trying to sleep.

I have no intention of sleeping and I could point that Sarah gets enough sleep for me and Sam both, and that I'm perfectly capable of functioning without any sleep, but I don't say anything, simply kissing Mom goodnight.

She turns the lamp on and closes my door. She knows that starry lamp lulls me to sleep sometimes, but it's not gonna work tonight. I look at the passing stars from the lamp and try to form theories about Santa. There's something I'm missing here...

the end

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