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Title: Sempiternity Summary: The Search is over. Mulder and Scully now live normal lives, miles apart. But they are fine about it. Or are they? You can count on a VCS party and a little smooch. Notes: I had this baby on my hard drive for a while, begging for an end. Well, I finished it. But the final result wasn't my fault. I blame Mulder. He's the one who made me do it. He bribed me with kisses and... Oh, well, I guess you don't wanna hear that... Ladies & Gentleman... show time! Wednesday, Dana Scully's place. 12:30 am What would Mulder say if I... Oh God... I did it again. Sometimes it catches me by surprise. Me wondering what Mulder would think about something that I did, that is. It's just that I miss him so much... I always knew he was a big part in my life, but it wasn't until he was gone that I realized just how much I needed him close by. At first, I missed his late night visits. How he knew the exact moment to show up on my doorstep with a hot pizza or Chinese food take out. I missed his early Monday wit, his eagerness to go to on the field, an X-File after another. I missed our constant arguments, how we seemed so different and still could complement each other so right. Then, it wasn't those big things that I missed most. I missed the little ones, like his rare laughs, his husky voice, his gentle touch on my back... and those deep hazel eyes that I knew so well. Everything happened so fast. Things were bad for The X-Files. Skinner wasn't allowed to give us any information whatsoever, as his life was threatened by the Powers-That-Shouldn't-Be-But-Are- Anyway. And we fought, the three of us, to keep our work. We risked our lives and the lives of others. We threatened and pushed and scarred and... in the end, they were stronger. they shut us down. Years of work turned into ashes. Literally. It was devastating at first. I remember that following week so clearly. Mulder took residence on my couch, unable to be alone right then. He felt meaningless, hollow. Needless to say I kept his gun with me during those days. That place in the basement was the purpose of his life. So much time was spent there, so much sweat and blood... Of course I was broken hearted myself, that place was a big part of my life too. But Mulder, well... Mulder was inconsolable. He just feels too much. And he wasn't bearing only his own pain. He was also suffering for me, for my sister, for his sister, for all those souls that we wouldn't be able to help anymore. To make justice to. He wanted revenge. He wanted to chase those men, hunt one by one and expose everything. He wanted closure. But Mulder discovered that he had no strength to do it anymore. We had been beaten too many times. I told him he needed-- deserved- some rest. He accepted it. in the end... Mulder just wanted to live his life. It was over. We tried to let go of all of it, restarting our lives. Those were few, peaceful, weeks. I even thought that Mulder and I would finally have our normal life together. I believed that we were ready to move to the next step in our relationship. I really wanted us to be together... There were days that all I wanted was to say that I loved him. I don't know why I didn't. After all, Mulder is not serious about anything, except if it contains the word 'Unexplainable'. Or 'Exsanguination'. How could I ever compete with that? Well, I know that he loves me. Of course he does. But as friend. A brother. A big and overprotective brother who only wants to keep me close to look after me. I just hate it. I already have Bill, Charlie, Langly, Byers and Frohike to do that for me. The days went by and we continued to play platonic couple. He seemed to be happy anyway. But wanting to comfort him, I forgot to comfort myself. Oh, of course, nothing is sweeter than sleeping on Mulder's shoulder. But at my age... I wanted more. And one day, Mulder went to my place wanting to talk. I remember thinking 'This is it. Life with Mulder.' But deep down I knew this wasn't going to happen. He said he had to go. Just that. Nothing more. "Dana... I have to go." But I know Mulder. I know his soul. His eyes were screaming for me, for my touch, for my comfort. I'm not kidding myself; I saw love behind those hazel eyes. I saw him asking me to ask him to stay. To give him reasons to ignore whatever possessed him to make him wanna leave. "I know." It was all I said. Nothing I could say would make him stay; it didn't matter how much he wanted to. I saw that in his eyes too. He needed some time on his own. Mulder grew dependable of me. We took each other for granted and that ruined everything that could happen between us. We had too much baggage and, sometimes, we can't get the pleasure without the pain that comes with it. And for Mulder and me... that pain is too deep, too much. It's enough. He hugged me tight and he was so solid, warm, strong... I lost myself in his arms and at that moment, the Consortium could blow up the world and cause a cosmic war and I wouldn't mind. "I'll keep in touch," he said and I nodded, not bothering to ask where he was going or what he was planning to do. Hell, I had no idea what to do with my own life at that point! But if he said he was going to keep in touch, I trusted him to do so. And he would do so. That night I cried myself towards sleep. From that moment on I became used to tears. They come easily now. Not that I turned into an annoying baby, per see, it's just that all the five years I spent with Mulder, trying to be strong for both of us, left me filled with unshed tears. And when I started crying, I couldn't lull myself to stop. He wasn't coming back. So I gave up pursuing the unreachable, and decided that I really had to find a life of my own. And I did. I met Arnold Campbell. I was so frustrated with Mulder that hearing Arnold say he loved me was more flattering than I ever thought it would be. I needed to feel special. I needed the attention. Way too many years working in a office without my name on the door, without my own desk and living a life without the man I loved, well... it made me crave for the simple pleasures. And the next thing I know, Mulder was in Boston. Skinner was able to find this incredible opportunity for him to work at Boston's Vicap. Once again, when we were talking on the phone, I could hear his silent plea, wanting to come back... wanting me to join him. Why had he gone away if wanted to stay? Granted, I considered going after him once, but I dismissed it quickly. If Fox Mulder was a proud man, Dana Scully was twice as prouder. After all, I already had *a life*. If I wanted someone to share my bed at night, I got it. If I wanted someone to take me to the movies on a Friday evening, I got it. Arnold made sure of it. I didn't get what I Really wanted, which was Mulder, but that was something I spent five years learning to live without. Doing so for the rest of my life couldn't be that hard. And that's how my life has been. Exchanging phone calls and e-mails. Superficial information and small-talk. And without seeing each other for almost seven months. Seems seven years. I started to work at Forensics, sharing a lab with another pathologist, I had a steady boyfriend and the only risks I was taking these days were... What were the risks again? Oh, yeah. The bliss of a normal life: no risks at all. So here I am, waiting for the water to warm up to make my tea, watching the clouds outside grow dark and heavy. It's gonna be one hell of a storm. Damn. My car is at the mechanic and I'm already late to be back from my lunch break. So much for wanting to get warm with homemade tea. I hear the sound of footsteps in the hallway. Then the keys in the lock. Arnold's tall figure approaches me, kissing the top of my head. "Hey, Dan." Why the hell does he call me Dan anyway? Maybe it's because nobody else does it. I'm not used to it yet, and I'm not really sure I want to be. "What are you doing here?" he asks as if I weren't at my own place. What is he doing here anyway? "Sandra had a date for lunch so I decided to come home. How about you?" "I just came by to pick a report I forgot here yesterday," he says, going to the top desk drawer and retrieving a black folder. "Crazy head," he mutters to himself. "Oh... I've got news..." he smiles, showing very cute dimples on his cheeks. He looks rather nice today. A dark blue shirt with a blood red tie. "My father called me at work. Janine is getting married." "Really?" I pour the water on my black mug and move away to the couch. Janine is his teenager sister. She is gonna have a baby in a couple of months or so. An adorable girl. "Yeah. It seems like her boyfriend finally grew up to raise his child. The ceremony is on Sunday. The whole family is overly excited about it," he says, tugging at his necktie. "You weren't answering your cell phone. I was trying to reach you to tell I was coming over." "Dead battery." He nods and I know he wants to tell me something but doesn't know quite how to say it. Oh... I know where this is leading. I know him too well... "Come with me to California tomorrow." He asks. "I have to be there for the rehearsals and stuff... and I wanted you there." Yeah. Right. "You know I can't." "But Dan..." "I have my mom's birthday on Saturday and I have a busy weekend at the lab." Well, not so busy. But if I go with Arnold it's very possible that we come back to DC already married. His family pressure us *a lot*. Not that it bothers Arnold, anyway. "Yeah, right." He sighs. "I really wanted you to come. My dad wants to meet my fiancée." I smile at his glowing eyes and kiss him lightly on his lips. "Maybe other time, okay?" It's starting to rain outside. If I don't get moving, I'm going to be really late and I have a few results I have to finish before the weekend. I nod absently to him, finishing the conversation, and go to my bedroom to change. I'm pretty sure he'll follow me, though. "Hey, we still have tonight to enjoy, right?" he says, taking his shoes off and following me. "Yes we do..." I smile. Men. Always the same. Sex is the top on their 'to do' list. "Why don't we start enjoying it now?" he says huskily, kissing me. "No, can't do. Work. Gotta go." I let him kiss me again. He has a nice mouth. Well, it's nothing compared to... Okay, Dana Katherine Scully... Stop right there. "So you have time to drink your tea, but not for some excitement with me?" Excitement? With him? Arnold definition of excitement is to write the crossword puzzle on Times using a pen. God... I've been around Mulder way too long. "Well, I have exacts twenty seconds to finish my tea and then I have to hit work. Sorry." "You're always working." He crosses his arms, trying to sound mad. He can't. Arnold is way to sweet to ever be mad at me. Or at any living being, that is. Well, there's always a few exceptions, of course... Ignoring my warning signs, as any male does, he comes closer and sits on the bed trying to steal a kiss. With a smooth move, I jerk away, managing to spills hot tea on my blouse. Ooo... That was suave... "Damn it!" I say, starting to take my blouse off. "Oh honey, I'm sorry... I'm so sorry... here, let me help you." He stands up, taking my cup of tea to the kitchen. When he gets back, I'm already changed and ready to go. "I'm sorry, Dan... Are you okay, was the tea too hot?" "I'm okay... It wasn't your fault. But I have to go..." Arnold follows me to the door and grabs his car keys. He knows I'm not comfortable with him alone in my place. "Can I drop you at the lab? I mean, you car..." He asks and I'm too tired for arguing. Let the man have his moment of chivalry. Arnold is... he is like this little street dog that cries for attention. You can shove him away, scream, get mad... And in the end, all you have to do is to reach a hand for him and he'll come back licking your fingers. Not a nice picture, I know. But I wonder why Arnold puts up with my bullshit. Or why do I keep doing this to him. And the worst thing is that, even though I knew all this, I said 'yes' when Arnold proposed me. Arnold proposed me. Me. I wonder what Mulder would say about this. I wonder what Mulder will say after he knows I've been keeping this from him for almost a month. Thursday, DC's Forensic Lab 7:30 a.m. I turn on my PC and see the flashing of the mail icon. Mulder, of course. It had been almost a week without words from him. We are growing apart. It wasn't something planned, of course. It's just hard to find time for each other. A few months ago, I vowed myself that I wouldn't call him. I was so afraid that some bimbo would answer it. Then I would start to babble... But it has been so damn long... Stop it, Dana. He's your friend. Call him. No. *Call him*! No! Shut up. Whatever. I pace around the room and get myself a cup of coffee. Sometimes my conscience is a pain in the ass... You know you want to call him. "Mulder," he answers after the second ring. He sounds... bored. "Oh, hello. I'd like to speak with that cute profiler... I forgot his name now. Spooky something... Is he around?" His low chuckle vibrates through my whole body. "Damn, you just missed him, ma'am, but I'll be pleased to help you..." "Too bad..." I say and lean back on my chair. I can almost see him doing the same, his feet propped on the table. "It's so good to hear your voice..." he whispers, softly. "I missed you, Scully. " His voice is so sweet, so soothing, so male... so Mulder... "So do I. Been a while, hun?" "Sorry. Last time I called, your boyfriend answered." He chuckles, remembering the incident. "I have to say... he doesn't like me." "That's not true." "Yes it is. It's not his fault, though. I wouldn't like if a good looking guy, like me, kept calling for my beautiful girlfriend, like you, either." "Mulder," I smile "You're unmanageable." "Got my mail?" "Yes... I didn't open it yet, though..." "Don't bother... I'll tell you. I have news." "What news?" my heart quickens a bit. What can it be? 'Scully, I met a girl'? 'Scully, I'm gonna get married'? Suddenly, I feel just like Julia Roberts in 'My best Friend's Wedding'. Even though my hair color in nicer than hers. "Mulder... what?" "I'm going to DC for a couple of days." My eyes go shut. I wanna scream. I wanna dance. I wanna kiss everybody and tell him that I love him. But to speak, I only succeed, "Really?" "Yep. You heard of the VC congress?" "No... I've been kinda busy here at the lab." "Yeah, well... it's time for all the good agents to come together and share the most horrendous cases ever." "Well, at least the food is okay," I tease and am rewarded with a husky chuckle. "But amazingly, that's not the only reason I'm going. Look, I know that Harold..." "Arnold." I correct him, trying not to smile. He always does that. His eidetic memory only fails when it comes to remember the correct name of my boyfriend. "Arnold, okay," he fixes it, sarcastically "Whatever. I know that Arnold is gonna be pissed of, but you're gonna be my date on the opening party, alright?" Date? Okay... Put your head between your legs, Dana... "Of course I will... but don't forget to pick a corsage that matches my prom dress, Mulder..." He laughs. I feel chills all over my body. "Yeah... One that matches your Sig too, right?" and then he adds, suddenly somber, "I'm serious here, Scully..." "We'll just have to make Arnold understand us..." I try. "Or you can just leave him..." he is between seriousness and sarcasm. "Mulder..." "You can do better." We stay quiet for a moment, enough to make me so nervous that I can't even stand. When he finally speaks, I really wish that he didn't. "Are you going to marry him?" I realize the apprehension in his ton of voice. Should I tell him that I am? That I am going to spend the rest of my life with Arnold Campbell? Someone whose thought of adventure is to drink regular coke instead of a diet one? "Nope." Was that my voice? Quavering like that? "Not yet. But things are going fine." "Good. I'm glad for you. I mean," he stammers, "Not that you're not going to marry him... but you know... that you two are... you know... fine." He gives me an exasperated sigh, and I can see him smiling self-consciously. I can't help but smile with him. "It's okay." "Is he around?" "No. I'm at work." "I see. So, you're calling me from his back?" Mulder, the king of the teasers, is back. "That's so kinky." Since he is acting so casual, go with the motion, Dana... "It's so easy to turn you on, Mulder..." "Well, it only happens with you." "You say that to everyone..." I'm fishing. But I really need to know. "Are you fishing here, D?" I can feel my cheeks burn. Damn him for knowing me so well. "Well, there's no one. Besides you, that is." He chuckles and I can't help a little smile of relief. I'm one hell of a selfish woman, I know. But who's gonna blame me? "I'm just the regular, boring, lifeless, lonely Mulder." "And Spooky." He laughs again, the throaty tone never failing to leave goosebumps all over my body. "And Spooky, of course. Can't forget that." It seemed that a big weight was taken from Mulder's shoulders when he left the bureau. He laughs more frequently and, although it had been a while since we haven't seen each other, I can tell he feels happier. As happy as we can be apart from each other. Our distance is still the biggest problem for both of us. "Well, I gotta go, Spooky. Have work to do." "I know, Doc. You're a busy girl now, Hun?" "You're not here to go alone in our cases anymore. Gotta do things myself this time." "You're growing up." "Indeed I am." "But... don't go yet... I wanna keep talking to you!" He's pouting now. I know that he's making that little boy face... that puppy look that he developed through the years. Even 400 miles away and the fact that I can't see him don't change its effects on me. Dana Katherine Scully. Former FBI Special Agent. MD. Forensic Pathologist. Current status: Melted. "I can't stay any longer, Mulder," I say, playing with phone. "I know..." "Call me when you get here?" "Of course I will, D." Still with that shit-eating grin on my face, I click on the icon on my PC. From: fmulder@FBI.gov To: dkscully@FBI.govHey G-Woman, what's up? Hope you missed me a lot because soon you'll be forced to endure this old G-guy for the weekend. Yes, your eyes are not deceiving you. I'm visiting DC. So, go find a sexy outfit and be ready to rock with the "sane" people from VC. I'll give ya a call later, alright? Oh yeah, the shit-eating grin will remain on my face for a looooong time. 8:30 am. "I can tell that Mr. Spooky called you," Sandra says the moment she enters the office we share. "Is it that obvious?" I ask. "Well, that smile doesn't leave any doubts." She sits at the corner of my table and winks at me. I said some things about Mulder to her. Not much, but still, it is good to share what I kept buried in my heart for so long. "So, tell me the good news..." she says, drinking a sip of her coffee. "He's coming to DC next week, Sandra." "He is?" her smile broads "So, do I get to know him?" "Sure." "What about your boyfriend?" "He's traveling to California tonight. It's his sister's wedding." "I see." She walks to her desk, playing with her finger. It indicates that she's debating whether to say what she's thinking or not. "Spill it out." I urge. "Just thinking... How convenient... One boyfriend goes, another one shows up." "Mulder is not my boyfriend." "I forgot about that..." she's still playing. "What!?" Some times I visualize Sandra as a little girl who knows too much. A little like Mulder, perhaps. She makes me think harder. She puts the facts in front of me, but let me find out the results by myself. I think that's why we work so well together. "Come on, Sandra, Shoot!" "He is cute... I've seen pictures." "Indeed he is..." "Is he still single?" "I hope so." "Smart?" "A genius." "And he loves you." Loves me? "He does," I say after a while. "He really does. I'm his best friend. The only one he trusts." "I'm talking about the way a man loves a woman." Of course she is. "Well, sorry to disappoint you, Sandra. Look, the love Mulder feels for me is indeed deeper than anything. I know that. And he knows that I love him too. But there are no attempts to go further than our platonic relationship." She nodded and started to read a paper on her desk. But she is still playing with her fingers. And I'm thinking... Thursday Evening The tea in getting tepid in my hands, but I'm too lazy to get up and warm some more for me. I'm actually enjoying this time alone. Funny but it seems that I'm always surrounded by people nowadays. My mom, Sandra, Walter Skinner, some friends from the lab, Arnold... I miss these quiet moments. So Arnold is working, and his usual time to get home is around 10 p.m. leaving me with plenty of time to work some things out in my head. I am at his place. I don't like it very much and I still feel uncomfortable here. Like if it's a stranger's house. I never felt like that in Mulder's place. Au contraire, I really liked it. It had Mulder's personality: mysterious, dark, rather impersonal... but as you spent time in it, you get to discover that it's actually a warm place, safe. It really felt like home. Not like this. I see some photos that Arnold keeps on the PC's table. His father, his sister Janine and his brother William. I only met Janine, an adorable eighteen year-old girl. She was five months pregnant, spending vacation from school on her friend's house here in DC. Arnold wants me to know his family. Every single relative. And he is crazy to meet mine. He met my mother a few times, but never Bill nor Charlie and he was hoping to meet them during my mother's birthday, but, unfortunately, it won't be possible. He knows Mulder from a photo that I have in my place. The two of us dancing during a FBI Christmas party. The photo that almost ended my relationship with Arnold. The picture is very beautiful indeed. My head lies on Mulder's chest, tucked between his chin. My right hand on his heart as he holds me by my waist with both hands. His eyes are closed and he is smiling lightly. The perfect picture. I remember that night so well! Mulder didn't wanna go, but I dragged him with me. He ended up enjoying, of course. We danced all night. He looked perfect in that tuxedo... Mulder can dance. And amazingly enough, so can I, when I'm with him. Arnold just hates that picture. See, Arnold isn't much of a fighter. He is calm in a pleasing kinda way... But you mention the word "Mulder" and he turns red. He doesn't argue or nothing like that. He just doesn't like him. As he can't stand that photograph. Hell, he wasn't supposed to find it anyway. I asked him to get a lipstick in my drawer and he found the picture there. So I had to tell him all about Mulder, explaining that we were best friends. Sister and brother. Huge fight. First and last. As a bonus to that personal mess, Mulder called me later that day and guess who answered it? Arnold Campbell, thy name is insecurity. But he understood that there was nothing going on between Mulder and I, so he relaxed a little. Just a little. What would he say if he knew that Mulder is coming back to DC? Well... doesn't matter. "Dan? Are you here?" "I'm right here." The sound of the door wakes me from my thoughts. What time is it? God... it's late! Arnold comes towards me and I take the chance to watch him. He is a gorgeous guy. His eyes are the darkest blue and his hair, the deepest black. He is smart and rather funny. But after you spend time with Fox Mulder, it's impossible not to measure everybody else with him. Arnold doesn't even get close. "I missed you." But Arnold is so very sweet. Always concerned about my well being. Always worrying about my needs. Sometimes it only makes wanna kiss him and drag him to bed with me. Sometimes it only makes wanna slap him and get the hell away from so much syrup. "So, how was work?" I try a different approach. Arnold has only one thing in mind when it comes to me: Hit the Bed. Not a bad idea, most of the nights. "Boring." He sighs, dropping on the couch next to me. "I'm sorry for that." "That's okay... We can fix my day right now." He smiles to me and I can't deny anything to his big blue eyes. He leads me to his bedroom. "I love you," he says taking my big blouse off. "You know that... but I need to tell you..." "I Know. I know..." Arnold is gentle when it comes to make love. I'm not gonna say I don't like it. I do. I could spend the rest of my life just... liking it. Couldn't I? Maybe not. Sometimes I want to grab him and fuck him senseless. But he is not even aware that I use the word 'fuck' sometimes. Saint Dan would never fuck someone. I'm not in the mood to make love right now. To be honest, all I want is to lie down and sleep through. To sleep until next week, when Arnold is miles and miles away and Mulder is the one by my side. But first things first, dear friend... focus, Dana. Focus. Was that an orgasm? Arnold is asleep now, so I take my time watching him. His face is so relaxed and he has the hint of a smile on his lips. One hand is tucked under his pillow, the other over his torso. He is truly a handsome man. I won't deny that I have a great affection for him, maybe even love. It is possible. Arnold makes me crazy sometimes, but he only wants to make me love him like he loves me. I don't even bother to try to sleep. I know him. In a few minutes, he's gonna wake up and want to talk about what I want to do this weekend. "Hey..." He blinks slowly once... twice... three times. Told ya. "Hi. Are you okay?" "Yeah... You?" "Fine." I smile. A good thing about him is that he's not immune to my 'fines'. Yet. "Good." He yawns and sits up a little, cradling my head on his chest. "So, Dan, You sure you're not coming to California?" When he wants something, no one gets it out of his head. "I said I can't, Arnold. Sorry." "Alright." He concedes, kissing my hair. But I know he will ask again. "What time is your flight?" "In..." he moves to the bedside to watch the clock "...three hours" "Too soon..." I say, snuggling close. "I know." He kisses the top of head. "I should go shower." "Alright. I'll go make something for us to eat..." "I have a better idea. Wanna come to the shower with me?" "Oh, no, Arnold. I'm tired..." I say, tugging on my terrycloth robe. "Oh." Poor thing. He gets up and walks towards his bathroom. I can't stand such a good looking guy like him with such lack of self-esteem. "I need to rest to keep up with you..." I add. "Really?" "Uh Hun." "Okay..." he smiles and closes the door. In a few seconds, I hear the water running and head to the kitchen. Friday, Dana Scully's Place 6:32 am. What? What time is it? Oh God... Doesn't people know that it's impolite to knock on someone's door this early? Jeez... "Who is it?" "The Pizza Guy... Delivering 24/7..." That voice... Can't be... can't be... "Mulder?" I say opening the door. "Company is free..." he smiles, handing me the pizza box. Oh. My. God. I grab it from his hands and shove it to the couch. The big hug I earn compensates the few stains. We stay here, in my doorway, for the longest of times. Even though I don't want to, I try to pull away. "Stay..." he says to my hair. He bends his knees and carries me, my legs wrapping naturally around his waist. He then moves us inside, kicking his bag as he walks. "I can't believe I'm here with you!" Right now I can't manage to say anything, so I just smile against his neck, feeling him hugging me tighter. "I'm sorry it's so early." I nod, brushing his apology aside. He walks us to the couch and I end up sitting on his lap. The feel of his nose nuzzling mine... It's all I have to do not to kiss him. He became more... touchy, after we were split apart. Good or bad, it still doesn't imply that he wants us to take to the next level. "You look beautiful, Scully." I don't think so, but if Mulder is saying, By God, I have to believe. "You look great yourself." I finally say, my voice thick with emotions. And it is so true. His face does not seemed as tired as it used to be. His eyes are brighter, cleaner. Happier. His cheeks are reddish, and his hair is beautiful, deliciously tousled, just the way I like it. "I hope I didn't woke Mr. Campbell..." "Arnold." "Arnold, right." "No, he's not here." "A night apart? Or a fight?" "Not a fight, no. He traveled to California yesterday." Wait, is that a grin in Mulder's face? "California? Really?" "He's staying there for a couple of days. Maybe a week." "Is that so? Are you implying that a have you for a entire week to myself?" "I'm yours..." I'm just not sure what I meant by it. Maybe neither does he. We just keep looking at each other. "So, you're tired and I just woke up, I must be looking awful..." I say lifting myself up. But Mulder is faster. Like a boy with his teddy bear, he clings to me closer. "You're perfect." I can't help myself. I gently kiss his forehead. His skin is warm and so familiar to me. His scent is so peerless that it is permanently assorted in my brain. "I missed so much," he whispers, eyes closed. "I missed you too," I say, lying my head on his shoulder. I know I said we needed to get up but... he's just so warm and soft and I'm just so aware of him. I need a excuse to stay here... any excuse... "What a fast trip!" Worked big time. His snicker is husky, throaty. "Sorry for that. It's just that I couldn't wait to see you again. And I wanted to surprise you." "Hey, hey, don't be sorry, okay? It's so good to be near you again." "My thoughts exactly..." he says, leaning back on the couch and tugging me along. I end up lying atop him. "You're tired, Mulder. Go take a nice warm shower while I'll fix something for us," I say, starting to lift myself up. Again. And again, I feel his hands curving around my waist, holding me to him. "Can you keep holding me just for a few more seconds?" You have no idea what you're asking me, Mulder, I silently chide myself. "Ask no more." I smile, lying my head between his shoulders and neck. 8:30 am. "You sure you have to go work?" Mulder is lying on the couch, propped on his elbow. I take a sip of my coffee and try my best apologetic smile. "I'm so sorry. I won't be long. I just have to get this analysis I brought home to finish and give them do Sandra." "You brought home, Hun? I guess you rather work with this Sandra than work with me again," he says, looking at his cup of coffee. He sounds like a disappointed 12-year-old hearing his mother say she can't take him to the zoo today. So damn cute! Why does he have to be so cute anyway? "Maybe I do... You can come with me. Sandra is dying to meet you." "Really? So you talk about me sometimes?" Busted once again, dear Dana. "Yeah... among those corpses, we need something, or someone, to joke about. And the most unwanted guy in the FBI is the perfect amusement." "I'm your amusement, Scully?" he gets up, smoothing his tousled hair. "I feel like an object." He tries his best hurtful face and I hold myself not to laugh. If he cracks first, I win. Is that a smile, Mr. Mulder? "Get used to it. So, are you coming?" "Yep. Let me just put my jeans on." After shower, he opted for a pair of black shorts and a blue navy shirt. Yeah. Now that I already indulged a quick (quick?) view of his body (just to check out if he's not... hurt...), I think I might be able to focus on... whatever I might be doing. Hey, that's my story. I'm sticking to it. 9:28 "Sandra Wilson, this is my friend, Fox Mulder." "Nice to meet you," he says, nodding his head politely, while shaking her hand. "So you're Fox Mulder, Hun? I heard a lot about you." Sandra is definitely trying to make me feel embarrassed. "Really?" yeah, Mulder... grin while you can. "Good things, I hope." "Don't get too optimistic," I say "So, Sandra, here are the reports." I handle her two manila folders. "My notes are on the smaller one, okay?" "Okay" She says, never taking her eyes out of Mulder. "Doctor Sullivan is arriving anytime soon." I remark, standing purposely in front of Mulder. Sandra just smiles at me. I know what she's trying to pull off. "Don't worry, Dana. I'll give it to him." She puts the folders into a drawer and then turns to us. "You're gonna do something special today?" she asks with a mischievous smile on her face. "I intend to," Mulder says, reaching his hand to hold mine. "Okay..." I end the conversation before I'm the one blushing around here. "we have to go. Thanks, Sandra. I'm make it up to you, okay?" "No problem, Dana. Call me... whenever you have time, right?" "I will," I smile to her "I promise." 12:10 pm. We are in this casual, but charming, little restaurant that I had never been before. Everything is just so nice. The place is cozy, the food is wonderful, the weather is perfect, the music is appropriate and the company... Well, the company is unique. I sip my wine and close my eyes, letting the music wash all my other thoughts away. Just the feeling of Mulder's hands over mine stays. It's all I need anyway. I open my eyes again to find him staring at me. He smiles and I squeeze his hand a little. But he doesn't drop his gaze and doesn't say anything. Not that it is a problem. Mulder and I always had that sort of silent communication. But today, I'm really afraid of what he might find in my eyes. He runs a finger on the inside of my palm, from my wrist to the knuckles, the touch so feather-like that I'm not even sure he means it. But I'm utterly aware of it. "Dance with me, Dana." "Mulder..." I begin, but I'm already holding his hands, half- standing. "Consider it a training. We're gonna do a lot of dancing on Sunday." He takes me to the dance floor, where a few other couples are already dancing. He holds my waist, tugging me close to him. I wrap my hands on his neck and lie my head on his chest. Thump-thump-thump-thump... Mulder's heart is beating so fast! "Scully" he sighs on my ear and I can't control the wave of arousal that curses by body. Our bodies fall immediately into a perfect rhythm, like we were made to dance together. Maybe we are. His hand makes lazy circles on my lower back and he kisses my forehead resting his chin on the top of my head. This gesture is so entirely us that I can't help a smile. I feel protected, surrounded by him. We dance slowly, the music long forgotten to us. The beat of our hearts are enough. After allowing that slow dance with Mulder, I find myself awfully shy. Can't say why, but I think it has something to do with the way Mulder keeps staring at me. His eyes are a warm green, boring into my soul. I blush for the fourth time in two minutes. Mulder smiles, obviously aware of my discomfort. Thankfully, he drops his gaze. Mulder missing an opportunity to make me uncomfortable? I wonder... "I miss DC," he says, sipping his wine. "Really? I thought you said liked Boston..." "I do. Things are going fine there." "Good." He starts to gaze at me again, but drops it when I blush once more. Take a hold, Dana Scully! "You would like my new partner, you know," he says. He'd never mentioned his partner before. "Is that so? Do you like him?" I ask, but I can't quite hide the jealousy behind my words. Mulder picks it too, and smiles. "Don't worry. You look much better than he does in heels." I can't hold my laughter. It wasn't even Mulder's best material, but somehow, it's all I needed to hear. "I'm glad, Mulder. I'm glad." 1:30 PM We leave the restaurant and I take Mulder's offer to walk a little more. There's no need to hurry. We're together and nothing else matters. But life is a bitch. What? Sometimes it is. If it weren't, why the hell would we end up in front of The Hoover Building? "Well, well, well..." Mulder says, frowning a little. "Look at this." "Let's leave..." I say, already turning around. Right. Like Mulder could do that. Move on with life and never look back? No. Not for Mulder. "I... I wanna come in." "Mulder..." "Come on, Scully..." "No badges remember? Yours is at home..." I start, but then I catch myself. "You are with yours, aren't you? God, I bet you even have your ankle gun, haven't you?" Mulder smiles sheepishly, shrugging. "Not the gun." And at my raised eyebrows, he adds "The jeans are too tight." I know he is kidding, but the act is so Mulder-like. But then I remember that I still feel naked without my personal gun. I was used to having it with me all the time. Work days or not. "Yeah... You're still a field agent," I say and the moment the words leave my mouth, I want them back. "I mean..." "You miss it, don't you?" He tugs a strand of my hair behind my ear and touches my face. "You wanna see him?" I change the subject. Mulder knows that I'm not ready to talk about my choices right now. But I'll open up. In time. When he's ready too. "Yeah." We both know whom we are talking about. "We've spoken a few times." Hope Walter didn't spoil the surprise. I wanna see Mulder's face. He takes my hands and we walk inside the building. The security guy recognizes us and comes closer. After a few small talk, we get our passes and head to Walter Skinner's Office. I know Mulder is not ready to ask about the Basement. "Hey, Kim." I smile at the AD's secretary. "Dana! How are you?" she smiles at me and then she gets the sight of Mulder. "Agent Mulder! Oh my god, it feels like old times!" She gives us a genuine smile. "I miss you two in this waiting room." Mulder and I both chuckle, flashes of the countless times we sat on that leather couch flooding our minds. "How are you?" Mulder asks, breaking the silence that followed our reverie. "Fine... how about you two?" she says, grinning. I'm sure she thinks we're together. "Fine too." Mulder smiles back. "Is he here?" "Yes. You can come in. I'm sure he'll love the surprise." Mulder nods and takes my hand again. I see Kim shaking her head, amused. Aw, let her think I'm happy for once. I knock at The Ad's officer and we hear his short response. "I feel like entering the principal's officer." Mulder comments, dryly. "I wouldn't know," I say. "Teacher's girl." He smiles, opening the door. "What did we do now?" he says out loud. The usually calm and collected face that supervised us for so long can't hide anything right now. But instead of the warm smile I was hoping Mulder would receive, our ex-boss looks a little troubled. Something's quite not right. "I can't believe this." He takes his glass off, getting up, he's still preoccupied, but I chalk it off as shock. God knows I was in shock when I first saw Mulder again. "Nice to see you, sir," Mulder says, shaking hands with him. "Mulder... you shouldn't..." "I'm alright. Everything's fine," Mulder says, not looking at me. Something's going on here. Mulder and Walter are hiding something from me. "Everything's okay, sir." Mulder tries a smile and Walter relaxes a little, finally spotting me in the room. "Hi, Dana... How are you?" What's that noise? Is that Mulder's chin on the floor? "I'm fine, Walter," I say, enjoying the fact that Mulder suddenly feels out of place. See how bad it is when someone hides something from you? "Good." I can't take it anymore, If Mulder doesn't change his face, I'm gonna burst into laughter. "I see," Mulder says, still looking uncomfortable. "So, how are things around here?" "By the book." Walter says, motioning us to sit down. "I'm unaccustomed of seeing you two sitting there again." He sighs. "Actually, I never thought I would see this scene again," he mumbles, but then his face clears up as he sends a watery smile in my direction. "Things changed a lot," Mulder mutters and I'm so sure he's talking about me calling our former superior Walter. "They certainly did." I muse, looking at Walter. He's the one who should break the news, but he just nods at me. I have no idea what he's trying to say. What? Silent conversations only work out with Mulder. "What?" Mulder glares from Walter to me. "Don't tell me you were dating?" he jokes, half-heartedly. I know that's Mulder's worst nightmare. Well, if you forget to count my abduction, Sam's disappearance, my cancer, the whole end-of-the-world thing... Uh, never mind. "Um... No, Mulder. That's... that's not it." Walter almost blushes. "Dana?" "Well..." I take a deep breath. There's no reason for me to feel nervous about saying this. It's natural. It's reasonable. So why am I justifying it to myself? "Mulder, Walter is..." what's the word they're using these days? "...Um... dating... mom." Mulder's jaw dropped for the second time in less then twenty minutes. Making progress, Dana Scully. For a brief moment, anger crossed Mulder's face. But it was so fast that I'm wondering if it was really there in the first place. I watch as his chest rise and fall rhythmically, how his fists open and close. Is he gonna beat Walter up? I know Mulder and mom and good friends. At first, this bothered me a lot, but then I understood that Mulder wants to know me completely. And what better source that my mom, with her childhood stories? Mulder told me one day that, when I was abducted, he had gone visiting mom and Melissa and they had spent the whole afternoon seeing old pictures of the Scully family. I went talking to mom about it and she told me that Mulder had cried silently that day, promising mom that he would bring me back. After that day, Mulder became another son to my mom. And I like it. But, being Mulder, he tends to be a little... Damn, Mulder... I think that 'overprotective' suits you really well. "Maggie?" he hisses, starting me. Skinner just nods. "You are... dating... Maggie Scully?" "Well, we're seeing each other, yes." The two men just stare at each other. Two faces and temperament so different, but both so stubborn. Seems like that game I play with Mulder. I wonder who will crack first. "Okay." I break the silence before they start to show their testosterone frenzy. "So how about your promotion?" "Well, there's another AD who is fighting for the position, Alvin Kersh." Skinner says, somewhat relieved for the change of subject. "I'm working up to it." "Walter Skinner, Director," Mulder says. "Sounds good." "Yes, it sounds. And things in Boston?" "Nice." "You're doing good there." "Thank you sir." All their previous fight is forgotten by now. They're like father and son. Disagree, but love each other nonetheless. "How long you're gonna be here?" "The congress is until Tuesday," Mulder says. "I'm staying." Walter shakes his head, almost imperceptibly. "Good," he offers. Hun. What the hell is going on? "Well, you'll attend to Maggie's birthday tomorrow, won't you?" he finally asks, cheering up a little. "I'll be there," Mulder replies, getting up. "We better go, Scully." I take the hand he reached to me and get up. "See you tomorrow?" Walter looks surreptitiously to our linked hands and smiles. "Sure." We nod our good byes and leave the room, not before promising Kim that I would come back one day to have lunch with her. 17:30 PM What wakes first is my mind. Without opening my eyes I become aware of my surroundings. The sound of the TV. The soft light pouring from the street lights. The warmth of a body next to mine on the couch. Oh. My. God. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. My eyes snap open to find the most adorable hazel eyes peering down at me. "Hey sleeping beauty," he greets me, smiling. Did I make a fool of myself? "Hi. What...?" I say, sitting up. "We fell asleep in the middle of the movie, Although I don't know how can anyone fall asleep during 'The Shining'..." We? Suddenly, things got much better. "We were tired." "I know I was..." he says, pulling me down to lie beside him again. "I woke up just a few minutes ago." "Why didn't you..." "You looked so peaceful sleeping..." he attempts to shrug, but is kinda difficult with me lying on his chest. I untangle myself from him, blatantly ignoring Mulder whining, and get up, turning the TV off. "Wanna order something to eat while I'm in the shower?" He sits and absently scratches his 5 o'clock stubble. "Mind if I join the shower with you?" he grins at my cocked eyebrow and heads for the phone. "Chinese?" "Pizza?" "Pizza it is." 19:26 "Hello?" I manage, between a mouthful of pizza and an attempt to control my laughter. "Dan?" My first impulse is to say 'wrong number', but I lift myself and walk to my bedroom, mouthing Mulder an awkward 'I'm sorry'. "Hey, Arnold. How's everything?" "Fine... are you okay? What's so funny?" "Sandra is here with me. we're talking about... nothing. So, how are things over there? Is Janine nervous?" "A little. But you should see her, Dan... She's glowing!" "And her boyfriend?" "Oh, he's a kid. But I know he loves her very much." "Good." "Everybody is busy around here. I never thought a wedding could be that hard. But I'm looking forward for ours." Our wedding. "Jany really wanted you to be here, though." "Arnold..." "I know... Sorry... How were things in the Bureau?" "What?" I gasp. "How..." "I called you there and Sandra told me you had to go the bureau to pick a file. Must have been hard to come back like that." "Yeah. Kinda. Listen, I gotta go finish my notes for a lecture at the Academy, so..." "Okay... I'll call tomorrow, to Maggie's." "'Kay." I nod, like he could see me right now. All I want is to hang up. "Talk to you later." "Love you, Dan." I hang up and head back the living room. Mulder is sprawled on his back on he floor, a slice of pizza halfway to his open mouth. He still has a smile on his smug face. He has that right after the way he made me laugh a few minutes ago. "Sorry... It was Sandra, she..." Mulder stops my babbling with a raised hand. "Not allowed to talk about work right now, Scully. " His raised hand turns into a invitation. I hold it and sit beside him. "Okay." But I know he's just avoiding talking about Boston or The X-Files. I reach for the last slice of the pepperoni pizza and Mulder finishes his. "So, you were saying..." "Yeah... so she..." "What's her name again?" I tease. Mulder told me her name five times already. He is the one who annoys me with the whole Arnold thing. "Sarah. Sarah Black." He smiles. "You're right, it is annoying." I snort and motion for him to keep going. "Well, after that scene in the cafeteria, she had the audacity to leave a post-it on my PC." "No kiddin'?" This girl made a show in the Cafeteria, declaring her undying love for the Boston HQ's newest profiler. I laughed through the whole story. "A very neat calligraphy, I might say." "Thanks for the data, Agent Mulder." I finish my pizza and grab a napkin. Surprisingly, Mulder takes it from my hands and cleans my face. My breath catches and my heart is so damn fast. And the look on his eyes while he's gazing at my mouth... my God. Marveled, I see the tip of a red tong coming out to moisten his bottom lip. I'm hypnotized. We're so close... I feel his warm breath caressing my face. Doing what I want those lips to do. I try to catch his eyes, but they are locked on my mouth. It's now. It's time. I lean closer, slowly... slowly.. slowly... And the phone rang. And again. And again. I lift myself in one swift movement. Smooth, Dana. Real smooth. "Yeah." I half bark, half scream, half cry. Three halves don't make a whole, Dana Scully. Who the hell cares? Even my inner self is boring. "Dana, sweetie?" "Hi... mom." I breathe for the first time in what seems like centuries. Why is it so hot in here? "Walter called me, he said you came to see him today?" "Yes." I watch Mulder close his eyes as his chest rises and falls. He gets up, stretches and starts cleaning the spot we were. "What did he said?" "Just that you came by to see him, nothing else. Why?" At least he didn't spoiled my surprise for mom. "Nothing. Kim and I were going to have lunch so I stopped by to say hello. Just that." "I see. You'll come early tomorrow?" "Sure. I'll help you out. Did Bill arrive yet?" I observe Mulder plopping on the couch, turning the TV on and muting it, as he starts channel surfing. "No. They'll arrive tomorrow bright and early. Are you sure you alright?" "Yes, Mom. I'm fine. Listen, I gotta go, okay? See you tomorrow." "I love you, sweetie." "Love you too, Mom." I stand still next to the phone, not daring to move. What happens now? This one was too close to home. Knowing us, we are gonna ignore this, moving on. Is this what I wanna do? "*Walter* told her?" he asks, blatantly blaming me for the use of Skinner's first name. "No. He just mentioned I passed by. We usually only see each other at my mom's." He nods "Are you gonna stay up there all night?" He says, half- grinning and I move instantaneously, sitting on the, now cleaned, wooden floor. "Are you okay with this?" I'm speechless. Is Mulder actually initiating this conversation? Are we gonna talk about that? Is he... "I mean, Maggie and Walter, well... it's kinda..." I sigh, currently located between relief and disappointment. "Surreal?" "Yeah. I mean, they're not what you could call, 'ordinary' couple." The irony is not lost on me. Can anyone imagine Mulder and I as a couple? "No, they're not." "But they make a nice set." He smiles. "How did they...?" "He was eating alone in a small place downtown and she arrived. I was supposed to meet her there for lunch, but I got stuck in the lab." "He was a lonely man until she entered in his life," he muses and chuckles self-consciously. I nod. "She recognized him and at that exact moment I called mom in her cell-phone to tell her I wasn't gonna make it. So they had lunch together." "And since then..." "Until now." Our eyes lock and I swear I can hear the 'click'. "I think they're right," he says, looking at the soundless TV. "I mean, no sense in being alone." "Who says they were lonely before?" "Well, even if they were surrounded by people... or had a relationship," he lets that hang in the air for a brief moment before finishing "they didn't have a special someone. Maybe this is it." "Maybe." When Mulder sees that I won't say anything else, he starts zapping again. "Grease," I say as the familiar face of John Travolta appears the screen. As if I said the magical words, his jittery hands stop and settle the TV remote. "You like it too?" he asks. "Langly says its a Chick-flick." "Do you listen to everything Langly says?" He just shrugs and smiles. "I miss the guys. I think I'm gonna visit them tomorrow, after your mom's." "That's a good idea," I say, resting my elbows on my raised knees. "Scully, this is a big couch," Mulder informs me, matter of factly. He sits and pats a spot beside him. "I won't bite, you know." I snort nervously and take the place he offered me. "Well, not unless you want me to," he finishes, grinning. We sit comfortably and watch the movie in a welcomed silence. Saturday 09:14 I wake up feeling fine. Better than fine, I might add, and that's saying a lot, a lot, a lot. But I can't help feeling a trifle disappointed for the fact that my bed is empty. Not that I was expecting otherwise, but I still hoped to feel his breath caressing my skin as it did last night. Head up, girl. Time for breakfast. I pace barefoot to the kitchen. Well, at least, that was my intent. But not when I see Fox Mulder lying asleep on the couch, with a playful smile on his lips. I come closer, kneeling besides the couch. He looks so childlike, his lips slightly parted, and that tender smile. He must be dreaming something nice. My eyes starts to fill with unwanted tears, seeing him like this. It's just that he's been through so much... He suffered enough to extricate the world over and over again. He carried everybody over his shoulders, tried his ass off to help each single life on the Earth. And now, to see him like this, sleeping peacefully, smiling... it makes me feel so... "It wasn't a dream?" his sleepy voice greets me as his unfocused eyes gaze at me. I cock my head questioningly and smile at him. He pushes a lock of hair away from my face and caress my chin. "I thought I was dreaming... but you're really here with me." Oh. That's why he was smiling. He was dreaming about me. "It would be a very good dream, but reality is much better." His smile boarders as he tugs me to lie with him. "Good morning." I can only gasp as he kisses the top of my head. "We... uh... We should get up, Mulder. Mom is waiting," I manage, trying to sit. "Stay a little longer, D. It's too damn early to wake up." With a swift move, he turns us so that I'm lying on the couch and he is above me. He moves down to lie his head on my chest, one heavy arm draped around my waist. I start to stroke his silky hair, allowing myself this iota of pleasure. "Feels good," he mumbles, letting me feel the vibrations of his voice on my body. Makes me fell so very much alive... He draws lazy patterns on my waist and kisses me there once. And again. And again. And... Oh. My. God. He lifts his face to look at me, holding my eyes as willing hostages as he always does. "Scully..." My hand softly touches his face and he turns to plant a kiss on my palm, his morning stubble deliciously scratching my skin. "Scully, I..." I put two fingers over his mouth and he closes his eyes, kissing them. Ohmygodohmygodohmygod. Mulderstopmerightnoworiwilldosomethingreallystupidohmygodsaysometh ing... He moves up so our faces are leveled again. He kisses my forehead, my eyelids and nuzzles his nose against mine. An esquimo kiss, I realize. A kiss nonetheless. "We should get up," I say, opening my eyes. I don't even remember closing them. He looks intently at me for a few seconds, I see thousands of questions flickering through his hazel eyes. Questions he can't ask. Questions I can't answer. "Yeah," he says, lifting himself and tugging me gently with him. There's an awkward moment where we just keep staring at each other. Damn. Where's the inopportune phone call when we need them? "I... You can shower first while I make breakfast," I say and try a smile. "Sure." 10:22 AM "Stop worrying," I say after witnessing a few minutes of Mulder fidgeting on his seat. Some people might say that it's because he is uncomfortable being on the passenger seat, but I know better. "Not a good idea, Scully. This is not a..." he starts, but I cut him. "You know mom loves you." "Not Maggie. I'm talking about Bill and Skinner..." I know that Mulder. "Look," I sigh, pulling over "there's nothing to worry. Bill is not gonna beat you up, he's not like that. He only talks, nothing else. Ignore him." He smiles, still looking straight ahead. He's been avoiding looking at me since he got out of the shower. "As for Walter..." I watch him grimacing at the sound. "Well, I didn't accept it in the beginning either, but... Mom is happy, it's all that matters." "I know." He blows a breath and rhythmically pounds on the window. "Let's go." "Good," I say, starting the car again. 10:35 AM "Dana, darling, what took you so long?" Mom says as she opens the door and hugs me. "Well, I was wrapping your present. Happy birthday." I smile as she sees Mulder. "What a wonderful surprise!" I watch as the two of them hug, Mulder bending on his waist to receive mom's kiss on his forehead. "My Fox!" "Happy birthday, Mom Scully," he says, cutely. He sounds like a ten-year-old boy. "What is this?" I hear Bill's strong voice somewhere behind me. I know better than to turn around. "What's he doing here?" "My present, Bill." Mom smiles. "Come on in, please." Mulder helps me out of my coat and walks me to the living room. "Hey Billy," I say, receiving his frown as response. Like I care. "Is it Dana?" Tara appears from the kitchen, a big belly and a sobbing one-year-old Matthew on her arms. "Oh my God, Tara... another one," I say, kissing my sister-in-law and ruffling baby Matt's hair. "I hope it's a girl this time." She smiles and then motions to Mulder. "Special someone?" She winks. "This is my..." The word 'partner' catches in my throat "...friend, Fox Mulder." "Nice to meet you," Mulder says, shaking Tara's free hand. "Hey buddy." He smiles to the boy, now wrestling to get out of his mother's lap. "Alright, alright..." Tara sighs, putting him down. "Kids." The comment stings deep down inside me, but it's a feeling I've learned to deal with. What I worry about is the pain I see in Mulder's eyes. "He's a nice boy. Getting so big." I try to show Mulder that I'm okay and I'm rewarded with his eyes locking with mine for the first time since our aborted kiss earlier. "Yes he is. It's just that his teeth is starting to show and he doesn't stop crying. And he is so active! Specially now that he's walking." All my power of speech was lost somewhere among 'teeth'. All I can do is nod and, showing an amazing good timing, mom interferes. "Everybody's on the backyard," Mom says, leading us out of the house. I spot Walter without difficulty. Tall bald men are easy to find on a crowd. He sees us and approaches. "Mulder, Dana, I thought you weren't going to make it." The usually collected AD is now wearing jeans and a green shirt, smiling foolishly. "Hi, sir," Mulder says. He looks so cute playing with his feet like that! "Don't 'sir' me today, Mulder. Just call me Walter." "I don't think I can." Mulder tries to smile. "But I'll try." "Good. Enjoy the party," he says, leaving us to talk to mom in the kitchen. "That wasn't so bad," I say, stifling my laughter as Mulder sighs. "That was terrible," he says, grinning. "Look how he acts. He thinks he is the man of the house." I just look at Mulder, frowning. "Alright, alright. I'll drop it. I'll behave." "Good. Now, be a nice boy and make friends." He raises an eyebrow at me, and starts to shake his head no. "Walk around, talk with someone..." "You're not gonna leave alone, are you?" there's just a hint of panic rising on his voice. "I have to help Mom on the kitchen." "Scully..." "The only danger you might find is if these old ladies choose you as target. They can be really forward." He smirks nervously, jabbing his hand in the pocket of his black jeans. "Besides that, you're gonna be fine." "Yeah, right," he mutters as I squeeze his forearm lightly and head to the kitchen. 11:28 am Mom was all smiles as I arrived in the kitchen. Both her and Tara shoved me to the counter chair and blasted with questions. "No, were not together. I'm with Arnold, remember?" I say, for what seems like the tenth time in less than five minutes. "Sweetheart, there's no reason for you not to be with him. Fox is an amazing young man," Mom says, finishing the salad. "Is he dating someone?" Tara asks, sitting on a chair besides me. "I mean, he's pretty hot." "No." I sigh. "He's not... Look, Mulder and I are just friends. He's just visiting DC and soon he'll be back to Boston, to live his life there. And I have my life here. With Arnold," I say, taking the salad and preparing to leave the room. "End of the subject, okay?" I smile and leave them giggling like old maids. I promised myself I wasn't going to baby-sit Mulder today, but now that I'm out here, I guess taking the chance to take a look at how's he doing wouldn't hurt so much. Where is he anyway? I see Walter talking with uncle Jeff. A few other relatives are carrying excited conversations all around the places. Some of them smile at me when our gazes happen to meet. And no Mulder. "Dana, my child," I start at the voice and the feel of a hand on my shoulder. And I say Mulder is paranoid. "Hello..." I smile, turning to see the five ladies, mom's friends, that delayed me from my quest. "We just spoke with your man." Mrs. Hannaway says. "Have you seen him?" and then I blush, adding, "He's not my man." "I see, my child." They all laugh. "He's a fine young man," one of them says. "You're very lucky." I want to dismiss them, but curiosity gets the better of me. "What did you speak with him?" I ask, sheepishly. "He just told us what an amazing woman you are and that he's very lucky to have you in his life. That you are his best friend." Mrs. Hannaway says, smiling sadly. "How I wish my husband still called me 'friend'." They all nod, understanding. "Thank you," I say, touched by the words. "Have you..." Mrs. Hannaway's smile boards to an almost grin and says "He headed in that direction." She points towards the front of the house, "Guess he went inside looking for you." She winks and they all leave to find mom. I walk to the door, opening it slowly. And indeed I'm greeted with Mulder's voice and the sight I'm presented warms my heart in a way that I can't quite explain. He's sitting on the floor, his back to me, talking with someone, I can't quite see who is it. His body is blocking the view. "You see, Matt, when you find that special someone, you mustn't let her go. Ever." Matthew? How did Mulder got him so quiet? "Take it from an experienced guy, Matt. When it's true love, don't waist it. Act on it." Taking advice is harder than following it, right Mulder? Matt fusses make a smiling noise. "Luv." The baby mumbles and starts to laugh. "Laugh all you want, little guy, you'll see. Women are interesting people. They're beautiful, smart and they can break your heart as fast as you can say 'mommy'." "Mommy!" Matt yells, gleeful. "When you get older, they'll have you in their palms. The strange thing is, you're gonna love it." He chuckles as Matt's laughter gets louder. "That's right... You'll meet a girl and you'll become friends. You'll trust her with all your heart and hope that she trusts you too. It's gonna seem like it's you two against the madness of the world." He pauses and sighs, loudly, becoming serious. "You'll have that unbreakable bond. And somewhere along the way, you'll fall in love with everything about her. Her sparkling eyes, her tender smile..." Mulder chuckles again, combing his hair with his fingers, "Even when you two are arguing over who's right, or when she looks at you and arches that eyebrow that says 'Don't mess with me' or 'Mulder, you're such a lunatic'..." I don't do it all the time, Mulder... Oh. Ooooooo. Is he talking about me? me? Nah. Uhn... nah... "Even then, buddy, you'll still love her so deeply... And it's all gone. Poof. Boom. It's over. You're lost. But it's a good feeling." Okay. I need to sit. I need to think. I need a beer. I head for the door, the instinct to flight taking control of my cool, detached mind. "Look who showed up." Mulder turns his head towards me, hearing the sound of a door opening. Damn him and his FBI accurate senses. "Aunt Dana." "Dada..." Matt says, kicking his bare foot. I quickly turn around, trying to make it seems that I just entered the house, and flash Mulder a unsure smile. "What are you doing here?" I approach them and sit cross legged in front of Mulder, who has Matt cradled in his arms. The little boy is grabbing Mulder's finger and has a tender smile, showing the beginnings of a white little tooth. "We're having a man-to-man conversation." Mulder smiles. "He's such a good boy." Matt starts to laugh again and Mulder chuckles, contently. The sight is so beautiful! I always knew Mulder would be wonderful with children. He's gonna be a great father someday. "So I see. Why am I not surprised to find you hiding here?" "I'm not hiding. Matt was crying and I came inside to take him out of the sun. It's almost midday, it's too hot out there for a child." "Thank you," I say, scooting closer to them. Matt snuggles in Mulder's chest and I can see his eyes starting to close. Mulder hums low in his throat, a deep, soft sound and I scoot closer to him, lying my head on his shoulder. We become surrounded by this sense of peace, of safety. It feels so right to be snuggled here with Mulder, with a little baby asleep in our arms. Mulder smiles, a sad smile, and I know what he's thinking about. He looks at me and I see that his eyes are glistening, the tears threatening to fall. I reach a hand and touch his face, watching silently and he closes his eyes, a single tear rolling, tracing a wet path on his smooth skin. A few years ago, I would say that he was crying for a child he lost a long time ago. Crying for his little baby. The girl whose disappearance became his whole life. Now I know the reason of this single tear. He cries for me. With me. For us. "I'm so sorry." I whisper. "No, Dana," he shakes his head slowly, his eyes so sad that I have to fight the urge to cry too. "I'm the one who is sorry. You've... God, you've lost so much... I..." "Don't say that. You're not to blame. Never to blame, alright?" He looks down, the tears running freely now. "Mulder, look at me." He doesn't, so I lift his chin util I lock his gaze with mine. "I don't blame you. You heard me? I don't blame you. Never did. Never will. You mean the world to me, so don't do this to yourself, okay?" He nods, suddenly looking like a shy twelve-year old again. "But what about babies, Scully? I took that chance away from you... I..." "Stop it," I say, gently, putting a finger on his mouth. The thought of making this same gesture in the recent past sends shivers down my spine. "You didn't do anything, Mulder. they did. Please, understand this." He gently frees his finger from Matt's soft grasp and starts wiping his tears. "I'm such a mess," he says, feigning a smile. "Yes you are." I concede, leaning closer to place a soft kiss on his brow. "But I wouldn't like it any other way." Now I get the beginning of a real grin. He puts a arm behind my back and I rest my head on his shoulder as he resumes his song. 19:30 PM "How come you haven't seen them?" Mulder asks me after we leave mom's place. "Why are you so surprised, Mulder?" I say matter of factly. "I don't think I have that much in common with the three Stooges." "Come on..." "And I don't think they really trust me either." That got me a direct gaze, not just this sidelong glances he has been giving since we entered the car. "Trust you, Scully? I think they do more than trust you." At my raised eyebrow, he adds, "They respect you, Scully." "They think I'm hot," I say and he laughs. "Well, I can't blame them for that. Any sane man does." I just smile and I can already see their little building. "If they were women, they would all dress just like you. Talk just like you." Mulder frowns at his own remark. "God, that would be weird..." He is just making small talk, I know. He misses the guys. "Have you talked with them at all since you left?" "Uh... I..." he blushes and gives me his don't-shoot-me-again- pretty-please look. Boy, he did something bad. "Mulder?" "I... talked with them over the phone a few times." When I'm sure he won't say anything else I ask, "And?" He makes a drama out of parking the car, but I know he's just avoiding my question. "You know, the usual... the news on the paranormal world, the latest paranoia in the politics' world, how you were doing..." Okay. What's wrong with that? They just... Oh God... "Oh no, Mulder... tell me you're kidding. You didn't send the weasels to spy on me, did you?" He just shrugs. "That's so... that's so... Fuckingfoxmulderist!" I blurt out, immediately clamping my mouth shut with my left hand and reaching to open the damn car door. "What? Fuckingfox..." he can't finish the sentence, he's laughing so hard. "Shut up, Mulder. That's typical of you, with your macho thing and that bravado of yours and..." "Fuckingfox..." There are tears in his eyes and he falls back to his seat, trying to control his laughter. "Chill out, big boy," I say, trying hard not to be angry with myself for saying what I did. I finally get out of the car, slaming the door shut. Dana, Dana... haven't you learned anything in your partnership with Mulder? "Where did that come from?" he finally menages, getting out of the car and locking it. "Just drop it, okay." "It's just that you sounded like..." he makes a face and I know instantly about whom he is talking. "Bill?" he nods. "Maybe. It does sounds like something he would have said." "Yes, but you still say it better than he does. For now." I punch him lightly on his arm and head towards the building, leaving him to catch up with me. He does, with two long steps. "Stuck up," I say, hiding my smile. "Who? Me?" He slides his warm hand on my lower back, a touch I longed to feel again. "It was theirs idea, by the way. I was only *informed* of it..." Really? We'll see... Clink. Clink. Shoosh. Clink. "Only four locks?" Mulder says as we get in. "Somebody's feeling reckless nowadays..." Byers just smiles, shaking Mulder's hand. "Good to see you, Mulder." He turns to face me, the smile never leaving his young face "Agent Scully, how are you?" "I'm fine, thanks to Mulder, who did such a good job having someone to watch my back while he was away..." I start. Byers blushes and looks bashfully at me. Poor thing. I like him. And he's gonna gimme my damn answers. "What Mulder told you to do, Byers? To follow me wherever I went? To bug my phone? To trace my credit card?" I say, walking towards the almost red-haired men, purposely making him back away. "Agent Scully..." he says, and I almost feel sorry for him. Mulder was right. They do respect me. Par-tay! "Scully..." Mulder tries to reach for me. I turn to look at him and he backs away too. If looks could kill, Mulder would have been a puddle of flesh on the floor of this high tech paradise. "Who's there?" I hear Frohike's voice somewhere behind my back. Good. One more for me to play. "Agent Scully! What a..." "Don't start." I cut him off mid sentence, his arms opened, waiting for me to hug him. Yeah. Right. "Mulder..." he growls, trying a glance towards his direction, but Mulder just shrugs, helplessly. "Hey there!" I barely see Langly appearing from one room, because he quickly hid again, after seeing Mulder and his two other comrades cornered like lambs before a wolf. A wolf? Nah... A Vixen, maybe? Well... I'm sure I already have a crush on a certain Fox anyway.. "What? A camera? A camera in my room? Technicolor?" "Agent Scully..." Byers begins, blushing one again. "We were worried that..." "I couldn't take care of myself? Is that it Byers?" He bowed his head, guiltily and I caught Frohike's smirk to his comrade. "What?" I spat at him. The strange little guy flinched, hiding behind Mulder. "I'll explain..." Mulder says, frowning at his friends "Just calm down, okay?" he takes a deep breath and puts his arms on my shoulder. Feels so nice... But no. I'm mad. Remember you're mad, Dana. You're mad... "Dana..." I'm what? Oh yes... mad... "Dana, you know I trust you more than anyone and I know that you can handle yourself. I know that you could kick my ass anytime and I wouldn't have a chance." Doing fine, Mr. Keep going... Mulder tries a little smile and lift my face towards him. I could feel his thumb drawing small circles on the smooth path of skin near my ear. My breath catches in my throat and our eyes lock. For a brief moment I thought he would lean down and kiss me. "I'm very... very... very sorry," he says. I don't know what I see in his eyes for this fleeting moment. All I know is that, somehow, my hand is on his chest, I'm pressed against the computer filled desk and he... he is licking his lips. Nothing is sexier than seeing Fox Mulder licking his lips so close to me. "We're sorry too..." Frohike says somewhere behind Mulder. I disentangle from Mulder, suddenly aware that we are not alone in the room. "I know, I... I overreacted... I'm just tired," I say. Mulder taps on the table with his thumbs for a moment and exhales soundly. "Yeah... we just came from Maggie... and a terrible encounter with Skinner... Walter... Walter Skinner. We're tired." "Okay..." Frohike says, following Mulder to the door. "I'll show up later," Mulder says, smiling. "It's nice to see you." "Yeah.. yeah..." Frohike says. "Enjoy your night." Byers smiles, already back at the computer. He throws us a knowing glance and shakes his head amused. I told you I liked Byers most. 20:03 "He's witty, smart, reliable and eager to please," Mulder says through a mouthful of chinese takeout. "I asked you about your new partner, not about your new dog." I can't help the jealousy out of my voice, again. "If that's the way you describe me, Mulder, you're a dead, dead man." I can't resist adding. I'm half lying on my couch, my hair still damp from the shower I just got out. The rain outside is still pouring -- it started as soon as we got home, and the room is kinda cold, smelling like damp sand, although I have no idea where this smell comes from. Maybe I'm just imagining it. Maybe the sight of Mulder sprawled on the floor besides me, his chopsticks long forgotten as he eats the food right from the box, the way he talked me into playing truth or dare with him... maybe all this just brings back memories of when I was a young girl, playing in the beach with my brothers and sister, in a world where there was no danger. Safe. Complete. Happy. Now and then... It was a while since I had felt this way. My peripheral vision catches movement and I turn to see Mulder siting on his heels, his forearms resting on the couch near my chest. "Is that the way you think I see you?" he asks, amused, but somewhat serious. "You tell me." I retort, locking his gaze with mine. "Is that your truth or dare question?" "Will you choose truth?" "I always tell you the truth." I sigh but I won't concede him the privilege of the last word. "Then answer the question." He chuckles, already expecting my comeback. That's the way we function. "Okay... okay..." he sits back and passes a hand through his tousled hair. "You're passionate, confident, intelligent..." he starts, smiling lightly as my cheeks turn red. "You're brave. You've seen enough to learn that the world is not a safe place. But, when it could've bring you down, you processed that knowledge and became a stronger person." "Mulder..." I whisper, uncomfortable. "I only asked if that was the way you saw me..." "You're so much more, Dana Scully..." he lifts a finger, it's feather-touch caressing my face, drawing the curve of my lips, "You're beautiful..." he says, almost to himself. Than he looks at me, his ever-changing eyes boring into my soul, and repeats "You're so beautiful." "I assume you don't say those things about your new partner too, do you?" He chuckles, stepping back. I instantly miss the warmth of his touch. "Uh... just when he wears a certain green shirt..." he grins, reaching for his food again. "Okay." I smile too. "That's Phil," he says, lying on the floor again. "Phillip Studd." "Phil, hun..." "Yeah, somehow, calling him 'Studd' sounded strange..." I smile. "Yeah it does." "Anyway, I don't let him call me by my first name, if you're wondering." "I wasn't." I lie, but he knows it. "Fox and Studd. Nice team." "Not a word, D." He tries to sound threatening, but he can't hide the smile out of his voice. "I wasn't saying anything." "He likes what he does and he does it fine." "He seems nice." "Yeah. You're gonna like him." "I will?" "Yup. Just don't get too intimate. Wouldn't want you two to compare notes." "But I haven't seen your best material..." Before I can stop myself, the words just pour out from my mouth. And he blushes. He blushes! Oh, embarrassed Mulder is sight to behold. I can't resist adding "Yet." Ooooo... I think I won the night. He opens his mouth and the closes it again for a couple of times. After he gets tired of imitating a golden fish he finally looks at me. "Score 1 for you." I smile. "Your turn. Play the game." "Right." He thinks for a while, "Ready for the heavier stuff?" Don't let him ask about Arnold... Don't let him ask about Arnold... For the first time in my life I'm seriously hoping Mulder will ask me about my Sex life at college. Anything is better then telling him I'm engaged. "Shoot." "You miss The X-Files?" Okay. Not the kind of question I was hoping for. "Mulder..." "D, you know my dares usually involves losing clothes." I can't talk about this with him. It's still to soon, the wound is not healed. "Scully...?" Who am I kidding? I need to say this as much as he needs to hear it. I take a deep breath. Time to come clean. Leave this burden behind us. "Yes. Yes, Mulder, of course I miss it." He smiles. "Really? What do you miss most?" I'm well aware that it's my time to ask the question, but the game seems forgotten for the moment. We both need to talk about this. "I don't know. Moments. Sometimes I may not admit it... but I miss being in the field. Looking up from the microscope for a minute." We exchange smiles. Mulder told me this once, a few years ago. "Miss me?" He is smiling, but I see his insecurity. "You're on my top ten list," I say nonchalant and smile at his frown. "You're number one." I add. He grins, seeming pleased with himself. "Miss you too, partner." "Partner, Mulder?" His grin fades away and he looks at me, serious "Always. Don't doubt that, Scully. My only partner in the real sense of the word." I ruffle his hair, smiling. "It goes both ways." "I know. So... you still think about it? I mean... if things were different. If the files weren't ashes now..." "No. I try not to think about it. About the hard stuff. It hurts. Moving on required a detachment from it. There are... things I'm... trying to forget." He looks surprised. "You are?" "Aren't you?" "Dana," he sighs, "You have no idea what I left behind." "I do." "You don't." something on his voice silences my further arguments. "What are you trying to forget?" he asks quietly. I take a long breath and go for it, "Mulder, after everything I saw, everything I heard... I couldn't possibly have a normal life without freaking out. In order to remain sane... I..." This is so hard. I feel like I'm betraying Mulder. Forgetting about our quest. "Look, my years on The X-Files... I could never regret them. Never. Not a thing. I told you before that I loved my work and I meant it, I loved being there. Being with you." I let this hang in the air for a moment, until Mulder smiles slowly. "But to live a normal life again, you had to let go of the burden." He's not hurt, nor accusing me. He's just saying it. "I can't keep thinking that... we can't trust our government... that somewhere in the world there is a little kid who can read minds. I can't keep thinking that there might be dozens of little girls..." I can't finish the thought. It will only hurt Mulder. "I have to move on." "I'm not... blaming you, you know? I could never do that. You do know that, right?" "Y... yes. No. I mean... Yes. I do." "But you blame me for leaving." "No. I was pissed. But I never blamed you." "You were pissed." "Mulder... I was pissed." I smile. "Sorry I pissed you." "Did you wanted to leave?" I know the answer but I need to know he will tell me the truth. "No. Of course not." "Then why did you do it?" "Scully..." "My Truth or Dare question." "I'll choose dare," he says solemnly. "What about the 'I always tell you the truth' thing?" "D..." He sighs "I don't regret walking away, if that's what you're asking." "You don't?" I whisper. "No. Understand it, please. It was hard, yes, but..." "Why did you?" I ask again. His hazel eyes pierces me. He looks so sad. "Dana, trust me... It was the hardest think I ever had to do." God. Stop torturing him!"I know... I'm sorry... Lose The X-Files..." "Not the Files." He cuts me "You." "Mulder..." I can't stand it. I lift myself from the couch and, sitting on the floor beside him, I hug him tightly. "You never lost me." He takes a lung full of air and let it out with a loud sigh. I move up and down along with his chest at every breath he takes. "Dana..." he whispers, "I wish things were different." "They can be." This is it. I'm gonna tell him. I'm gonna pour my soul onto his hand and ask -- no - beg for him to stay. "Mulder..." "I can't," he kisses my forehead. "Not safe for you." "I don't care." "I do." We stay like this for a while, just breathing each other. Holding each other. "So, what my dare's gonna be?" he breaks the silence going for the easy way out. I try a smile. "Dunno. Suggestions?" "Plenty. I could always..." "No clothes are going to be shed, you know?" I laugh at his carefully placed disappointed face. If you can't talk about it, change the subject. Insert witty comment. Mulder's motto. "Kill joy." We disentangle and I move back to my spot on the couch. "I'll think about it. I'll tell you at right moment." "You mean I'm in debt to you?" "Yup." "You're an evil, evil woman." He chuckles. "But I'm warning you, if you're ever to choose dare, you can kiss all the clothes bye bye." "Deal." "Deal." "Right." "Good." He grins, smug. We are two sick, sick people. Go ahead and play with fire. Kid about what you can't have. Hurt yourself and each other. "Okay..." he sighs loudly and turns to me, so that his forearms are on the couch and his head is supported on them. "Arnold." "Arnold? That's not a truth or dare question, Mulder." I avoid. "You love him?" I knew we would come to this. That's why I didn't wanna play this stupid game on the first place. "I..." "I mean, you're together for a long time now. I'm sure Mr. Campbell would love to have a big family. I mean he has four siblings and all..." his eyes widen and he clamps his mouth shut. "I'm not surprised you asked the Gunmen to check out on him." He looks embarrassed, but not sorry. "I thought you're gonna be mad." "No, I am. It was wrong what you did, you know?" "I never said it was right." "But I know why you did it," his eyes widen again "and, in a strange way, I'm touched." "You know why I did it?" he asks, incredulously. "Yup. You're just jealous." He sighs, almost relieved. Almost? Nonono... he is relieved. What else isn't he telling me? "And although I don't appreciate when you get all territorial, Mulder, I know that's your nature. You're not gonna change." "Is that a bad thing?" "I... don't know." I sigh. "God, I'm tired. I think I'm going to bed now, 'kay?" I say, sitting on the couch. "So soon, Scully? Tomorrow is Sunday. Not a school-day." "Yeah but I have to wake up early. Mom and I are gonna go shopping..." I sigh, uncomfortable, "I need a dress for tomorrow night." I hasten to finish. His eyes sparkle and he smiles, as if the thought of the both of us, as dates, is first materializing on his mind. Little does he know that I can't stop thinking about it. "Mom offered to go with me... I mean, if you don't mind being alone for a while..." "No... go ahead... I guess I'll stop by at the guys to catch up with the news." "Good," I say, getting up. He stands right after me. "You have the key, just make yourself comfortable..." "Do you want me to pick you up?" he asks eagerly. Do I? "Would you?" at his answering smile I add, "So have lunch with us. 12:30, at Luigi's." "Okay." He smiles, "Good night, Scully." "Good night, Mulder," I say and stand on my tiptoes to give a peck on his cheek. I'm well aware that I never answered his question about Arnold. Sunday 9:30 am "What?" I reluctantly met my mother's piercing gaze. "You tell me," she says, trying to conceal a smile. Am I that transparent when Mulder is concerned? Hell yes. I focus my attention back at the road when the light turns green again. My knuckles are white as I grip the steering wheel like my life depended on it. I'm trying so damn hard not to jump up and down with happiness. And anxiety. And... "Dana... Stop it. Tell me what's going on," she says, amused. I pull over in front of a beautiful store and, unbuckling my seatbelt, I turn to look at my mom. "Okay. I told you that Mulder and I are going to this party, right?" she nods and gestures for me to go on. "What I didn't tell you is that the word Mulder used was 'date'." I finish, feeling foolish. It's a stupid thing to be nervous about, I reason to myself. But deep inside I know something's different between us. And I'm afraid. "How's Arnold, dear?" "Arnold?" I'm really surprised she asked. Well, I haven't been really thinking about him lately. "He's fine, I guess." I offer her a small smile. "And how are you together?" I sigh. "We're..." my shoulders slump forward. I have no word to qualify what I feel about him. "Mom, Arnold is an amazing person. He's sweet and he cares a lot about me. He's okay, just like a lover should be." "I see..." She reaches out and caresses my hair. The touch reminds me of... "Do you love him?" "Mom..." I try, but she just gives the look that says 'don't bullshit me'. I know that look pretty well. I learned it from her. "Mom, Arnold asked me to marry him." She's actually surprised at my news and can't help the smile forming on her lips. "Wonderful news..." She closes her eyes and sighs. "Really wonderful, my baby girl..." "I know. Arnold is the kind of man I dreamed of when I played house with my girlfriends. He's handsome and he cares a lot about me...and then he came and asked me to marry him." "He's just like a lover should be... but not the lover you want." "Mom, I've seen so much. So much. You have no idea. You have absolutely no idea who I've become. I have... had... to deal with things that people wouldn't dare to dream about. Things you can't imagine in your scariest nightmares. Ignorance is a bliss..." I feel my eyes go teary and I look down to realize that my hands are shaking. How did I get here? "That's okay, honey. I'm your mother. You can trust me..." "Oh Mom... that's not a matter of trust. You're so much better not knowing." I sigh and compose myself, my semblance almost screaming the cool and collected agent that I am. Almost. If not for my still trembling hands... "The thing of it is, I'm only here, now, because of Mulder. He was the one that kept me going, kept me alive. And I became a much better person because of him," I say, looking at the window, to the people walking down the streets with their families, their dogs, their lives. Happy. "I know you are protecting me by keeping your knowledge about these... things... to yourself." She tries a smile "What I don't understand is why you and Fox are not together. He sure loves you." "It's not so simple." "It never is. Listen dear, when your father passed away, I thought that that was it. I would never really commit to anyone never again. But look at me now. I found love in the most peculiar way. I found Walter and I'm feeling happy again." I can't help but smile. It's weird to listen to my mom saying she loves someone other then my father... especially when the man she's talking about happens to be my long time boss. I won't start kidding myself, thinking that tonight will be as usual, me and Mulder and a couple of beers. "I'm afraid that it'll happen tonight." "You and Fox." It's not a question. I slowly nod. "I don't know where we will go from there." I whisper "I don't know how I'll live after it..." "Just let it happen, honey. You two will work it out eventually. I may not know much about you two, but I do know that you are perfect together." Let it happen... "Mom, the night Mulder left, all those months ago... I thought I was going to die. He never explained why he did it, not even now. And he never said a thing about moving back here or wanting me to go with him." "He has his reasons." "And if we do take this step tonight... I don't think I'll be able to let him go. Even knowing he doesn't wanna stay." My mom pushes a lock of hair from my face and tucks it behind my ear. A gesture I think it's all Mulder. I can't help the smile that crosses my face. I can see mom understood it too. "Honey... Fox loves you. Whatever is happening to prevent him from being here with you... I'm sure it's killing him. Don't do this to you. Don't push away. You might regret it for the rest of your life." Mulder loves me. "I love him, Mom." She smiles "Than that's enough." And it is. "Now smile and let's go find a dress to kill." She opens the door and steps out of the car. I can only do as she says. Luigi's Restaurant 1:30 pm "Good afternoon, girls..." Mulder's low voice surprises me and look up startled. "Fox!" Mom smiles as Mulder bents down and kisses her hand. "We were afraid you wouldn't make." "I'm so very sorry," he says as he kisses my hand and my cheek, "But the gunmen trapped me in their little cavern," he says, sitting. "How are they?" mom asks. I'm not sure, but I have a suspicion that mom grew very fond of Langly. Don't ask me why. Hey, I'm used to crazy stuff... "They're good. They never change..." the three of us shared a small smile. No one can resist their charms. "By the way," Mulder turns to me, "Fronhike once again said he's very sorry and that he wants to make up for you." Mulder's smile broadens, "Whatever it means..." "What happened?" mom asks. "Nothing... Fronhike's just being a smart-ass," I reply as the waitress approaches us. Dana Scully's place 7:52 pm If Mulder were staying someplace else, by now I'd be freaking out. Yes, I'm doctor, I cut dead people everyday, I've seen dead people and mutants and, even though I'll never admit it, aliens. I'm a poised person. But I'd still be worrying if I'm a little over the weight to wear a dress that tight, or that if it shows way too much skin... What? I'm a woman, after all. The fact is, Mulder spent the whole afternoon here with me, which gave me no time to freak. I'm still nervous, of course, but today... Well, it's Mulder. He's seen me at my worst -- I doubt anyone can overdo my share of psychos -- and he's still here with me. And I know him. And he knows me. Yes, we are different, I know. I can see it in the way he looks at me. I always saw that love that he felt for me there, crystal clear. But now I also see desire. Lust. It goes both ways. So now he's in the shower and I'm alone for the first time today... and guess what? I'm freaking out. What was I thinking? Letting mom drag into buying that dress? I'm almost naked in it, for God's sake! It's a professional party, Mulder's superiors will be there, his partner... And I'll arrive there wearing that? The dress is beautiful, I concede. Midnight blue, it shapes the body perfectly. But I don't know... Mom... I thought you wanted me to marry Arnold. Now I see you had this all plotted when you showed me that dress. Oh my God, Arnold... what am I doing to you? I force myself to stop pacing around the living room and sit down. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe... Much better. That's the Dana Scully I know. Good girl. I reach for the phone with my right hand while looking for a piece of paper in my drawer. "Continental Hotel, good evening." A female voice cheerfully greeted me. How can those people be so cheerful all day long? "Good evening. I'd like to speak with Mr. Campbell. Mr. Arnold Campbell. This is Dana Scully." "Sure, just a second and I'll put you though." After a few beats, Arnold's low voice greets me. "Missed you." "Hi, Arnold. How are you doing?" I ask, keeping my voice low, though I still hear water splashing in my bathroom. "Good. You?" "I'm okay. How's the bride?" "Dana, you should've seen her... she's glowing! My baby sister is getting married." He stops when I laugh. I can't help it. "Hey, it only hit me now." "Arnold..." "What? I'm her older brother, I have a right to act that way. One moment she's bugging me to stop pinching her nose, and suddenly she's pregnant and 'bout to get married." He laughs. "That's normal. One moment they're kids and then..." "Yeah. Can't help but dread the day our kids are gonna get married too." Ouch. Oh Arnold... I can't do this to you. "Arnold, I... I've been thinking. About us," I start. "I know. Me too." He sighs. "The way it is between us, it's difficult, isn't it? It's missing something..." Whoa. "You think?" I ask breathless. Are we breaking up? Should I be happy or... "I'm thinking that we should get marry as soon as I get back." What? "What?" "Look, I..." whatever he is saying, I lost it. The sound of running water stops in the bathroom. "Arnold?" "Hun?" "I gotta go." "You busy? I call you later." "No! I mean... I'll stay at mom's. She... the house is a mess after the party and I'm gonna help her out. In fact, I'm already late." "Okay... Love ya." "Tell Janine not to worry too much about the wedding." "I will. Bye." "Yeah... B..." the rest of my good byes catches in my throat as the sight of a wet Mulder, with just a towel hanging low on his hips, his hair... "Your mom?" he asks, leaning against the wall. I hang up the phone, not bothering to know if Arnold heard Mulder's voice. "Yeah." He seems smug about rendering speechless. And I'm pretty sure he can see me blushing. Enjoy while you can, Mulder. Payback is hell. "The shower is all yours," he says, striding smoothly towards his luggage. What is this force that defies gravity holding this towel up? I get out of the room before I start wishing for the towel to drop. I close the door, but leave it unlocked. Some part of my brain acknowledges the fact as a invitation of sorts. Not that I think Mulder would dare to come in, but there's always hope. What am I thinking? I take my clothes off and neatly fold them. It's not until I'm done that I catch a glimpse at the words written on the fogged mirror. "D, Love ya. M." Oh, Mulder... I tried so hard not to love you. Tried not to fall in love with you... Look where that led me to. Even though I know he won't read this, I can't resist the urge to add under his signature, in the bottom left corner of the steamed mirror: "Me too." It has been so long since I've been out for a date. I had my share during high school, of course, but then I settled for Marcus. In Med school it wasn't long before I had a crush on Daniel and, even though there were a few nice guys wanting to go out with me, it felt like cheating, even though Daniel was married. Because of his family, we rarely went out to public places together. When I 'grew up' and decided to join the FBI, leaving Daniel, I met Jack, who was my instructor and when we got involved we decided not to let this go public. Then I started seeing Ethan, but we didn't date. He was a public person, young, but mature. Next to him, the word and act of dating... well, it just seemed childish. I was more like his long time wife. Mulder came into my life when I was still living with Ethan. Needless to say, we broke up soon after I joined The X-Files division. Not that I had fallen in love with Mulder back then... But maybe he impressed me more than I wanted to realize. His passion. His quest. His courage. Mulder pushed me to my limits, making me think harder. We counterbalanced each other's theories and, maybe since the first day, we became a team. Partners. Ethan and I were on his bed, talking about... I don't remember what... and suddenly I asked him his thoughts about liver-eating mutants. He looked at me like I was from another planet and I started to think if he knew anything about the skin color of reticulants. Yeah, we broke up the following day. So, no dates for me. I personally forget that encounter in Philadelphia. That doesn't count as a date. I met Arnold in a full Starbuck on an early Saturday. We just kept coincidentally bumping into each other there. We would talk and then he'd walk me home. After a week or so of this, he finally got the guts to kiss me in front of my building. Being a Fed, I know the risks of letting a stranger walk into your home like that, but it was a troubled period of my life. Thank goodness, Arnold was not a murderer and after that he became the person I came home everyday for the past months. But no dates. Why am I rumbling about the past? Dunno. Maybe because now that I'm all dressed up and finished putting my make up on, I have to face Mulder in the living room. And then we have to go out. On a date. Once again, I know it's a stupid thing to be nervous about. I know it. I do. It doesn't make me less nervous though. "You okay in there, Scully?" Mulder's voice is a bit worried. He knows I'm fine, but can't help thinking the worse. "I'm just finishing here," I say back, leaning my forehead on the closed door. "You can't be more beautiful than you already are." I blush a little, but I can't help smiling. I straight my shoulders and open the door. Fox Mulder, here I go. "Jesus." That's the only word Mulder says before his mouth drops the floor. He leisurely roams his eyes through my body, his eyes dark with something that can only be described like desire. He swallows and the tip of his red tong come out to moist his lips and tantalize me. "Uh... you're... you're..." his voice is hoarse and he struggle to get the words out. "I mean... you're..." he waves his hands in the air helplessly, his eyes still locked on my body. I take the opportunity that he is somehow *distracted* and do a little roaming on his body of my own. He's a piece of sin. Damn, I'm gonna have to watch myself tonight or I'll end up grabbing him before we even arrive at the party. Good enough to eat. I let my eyes wander through every single bit of him. Tux-Mulder was sight to be thankful for. His adam apple bobs up and down as he swallows. And his eyes... The eyes of a man who wants nothing more than to throw me on the floor and make love to me. Or fuck me. Whatever. Can't say I'd object either. "So? Like it?" I tease him, turning around and showing him my nude back. I hear his groan and can't help the smile. Good enough. I told you payback was a bitch. "You're..." he says again as I face him, coming closer. "I already heard that." He smiles and reaches for my hand. "I'm trying..." he says after a deep breath, "But somehow I can't quite find the right words." We drink each other's gazes for a while, until he speaks again "Scully." One word. My name. He has said it a thousand times over the years and each time it has a purpose, a meaning. Tonight it means love. Admiration. Lust. Passion. Worship. My god, it will happen tonight. I know. Vicap's Congress Opening Party 22:00 p.m. I feel like I'm back on my prom night. Really. Well, it sure looks like it. The decoration, the music, the atmosphere. Why is that? I feel like an old maid. in fact, I do not. I mean, I would feel like an old maid if I had come here alone. But with Mulder looking at me like he's doing now, I certainly feel like the prom queen. Don't look at me like that, Mulder. "Back at high school, hun?" Mulder smiles as we walk towards a table in a further corner of the ballroom. "My thoughts exactly," I say as he pushes a chair for me to sit. "So, Mulder, where is you buddy?" He groans, but can't help the smile out of his face, "Don't listen to him, He's a geek." He looks around the room, "If I'm lucky, nobody will see us." "Mulder..." I warn, teasingly. He knows I'm dying to meet his partner. "Well, I wouldn't want to miss being seen with a gorgeous woman by my side for once anyway," he says conversationally. "And you won't." A grave voice greeted us. I turned to see a tall, lanky, blond man with the most adorable blue eyes. "So this is the famous Dana Scully?" he smiles and kisses my hand, "Mulder said you're beautiful, I just had no idea how much." Mmmm... A gentleman. "Enough, Phil," Mulder says, half serious, half smiling. So this is Phil Studd? Nice. He is a handsome guy. He is as tall as Mulder, but seems younger. His baby face and sparkling blue eyes gives him an air of innocence. Phillip smiles and shakes Mulder's hand. "I missed you, Mulder." He kids. "Missed you too." Mulder chuckles. "Well, I guess you sort of introduced yourself..." "Phillip Studd. It's nice to meet you." "My pleasure." "Phil, Honey, I..." A beautiful African-American woman approaches us "Oh, Mulder, hello!" She says and walks near Mulder to hug him. "Hi Marsha." He smiles "This is Dana Scully. Dana, this is Marsha Samuel, Phil's fiancé." "So you're Dana Scully? I heard a lot about you!" the woman smiles, pulling up a chair and sitting next to me. "I'm so glad to meet you at last!" "Nice to meet you too." I smile. So Mulder talk about me a lot hun? Nice to know. "Oh, god." Mulder groans, sitting down. Phil sits on another chair in front of Marsha. "Please, don't embarrass me any further." He blushes. "Embarrass you, Mulder? No why would we do such thing?" Marsha smiles, winking at me. "So you're the one who stole Mulder's heart, hun?" "I... uh..." Now, what do you say in a occasion like this? "Marsha..." Mulder warns. "I'll behave." She smiles. "So, how's the weekend in DC?" "Great." Mulder's smile grows bigger, looking at me. "It's good to be home." I smile back. "What about you two? When did you arrive?" I ask. "Early today. I'm afraid I won't have the time to go sightseeing..." "Marsha has to go back to DC tomorrow morning." Phil explains, "It's just that we couldn't miss this party. It's not every convention that has this kind of opening." "I thought of that too," I say, but my train of thought is broken when Mulder reaches for me from across the table. "Hey," he gets up and walks towards me. "Pretty lady, wanna dance?" Marsha and Phil exchange small smiles. "Me? I don't know... I'm here with someone." I look at both sides, pretending I'm looking for someone. "Well, if he haven't asked you to dance with him yet, then he's not worthy." "Well, I think he is worthy." I hold his hand and let he guide me to the dance floor. We sway with the music, my left hand on his neck, the right on his chest, over his heart. He has both arms around my waist. "I love to dance with you," he leans to whisper in my year. I try not to shiver at the powerful mix that is his low, seductive voice, his unique scent, the way his hand is drawing sweet nothings on my lower back... suddenly I'm a little light headed... "Scully?" "Mmmm?" "You still pissed with me?" "Nope." I nuzzle my nose on his neck and he shivers. "Good." His voice is hoarse and, if I'm not mistaken, I can fell something hard pressuring my stomach. Mulder distances himself a little, trying to avoid the contact. Too late, Mr. I pull him closer, caressing his neck. His hair is silken-soft to my touch. "Scully..." he manages, as our bodies come in contact again. "I love dancing with you too, Mulder," I say, resting my head on his chest. His tense body relax under my touch and we let the soft music guide us. "Mulder really missed you, you know." Phil says as we dance. Not very far from us, Marsha and Mulder are waltzing and I'm pretty sure she's telling him to take his head off of his ass and kiss me. I like her. "Well, I missed him too," I say. Phil is a damn good dancer, on top of everything. "A lot." "Not as much as he did. When we heard of this suspicious party he just couldn't stop jumping up and down, wanting to be here." We laugh at the image. "You two around a lot?" "Yep. I'm not from Boston so I don't know almost anybody there. Just Marsha's family and... well, Mulder. We became good friends." "Really?" I smile at this man who seems to care so much for Mulder. "Yeah. Mulder doesn't go out much. In fact, I never heard of him going out." At my raised eyebrow, he adds, "No, I'm not saying this because he asked me to or something. It's the truth. He comes to my place a lot, to finish up reports and change ideas on profile cases. He is an amazing guy." "He is." "And I never saw him as happy as I saw him today, when he was dancing with you." the music changes and a few more couples join the dance floor, blinding my sight of Mulder. "He's a lucky guy." "Nope. I'm the luck one." We dance for a few more minutes until someone touches Phil's shoulder. I'll give you one guess at who it is. "Okay, pal, I think you're getting awfully comfy with my girl." Mulder makes a face "There's another pretty lady here that would loooove to have her way with you." Marsha is smiling behind Mulder and reaches a hand for Phil, winking. Now I'm sure those two are plotting something. "Always a pleasure, Dana" Phil kisses my hand again. "And you..." he looks at Marsha adoringly, "Lets teach these kids how to dance" he pulls her in a tight embrace and they move around the ballroom, laughing like kids. Mulder smiles and puts his arms around my waist. "Your girl, Mulder?" I can't resist saying. "Yep. All mine." He kisses the top of my head, hugging me tighter. "All yours" I whisper to his chest and feel him humming. "So, what were you two talking about?" he asks after a moment. "I'm guessing he was planning our wedding or something." "Or something." I nuzzle his chest and feel him sigh. "Dana... Dana... do you have any idea... of how I'm feeling right now?" I breathe him in and, right now, I want nothing more than to try to get him inside my skin, where I can keep him safe with me always. "Well, if it is any close of how I am feeling, Mulder... I'd say you'd be pretty happy," I say, matter of factly. He laughs and hugs me close, "Yeah... pretty happy is a good start." "Mmmmm..." "Hey, D...?" "Yeah?" He reaches a hand toward my face and lifts my chin. "I love you." Strange enough, a sense of peace, of calm, fills me as he says the words. His eyes are a warm green, alive and beautiful and true. He wants nothing back. He just needs to say it. The same way I just need to kiss him. I stand on tiptoe and pull his head close, pressing my lips to his. He is warm and sweet and male and unique... It's a chaste kiss, just my lips on his, but the gesture speaks volumes of how we feel about each other. Our lips part and he kisses my nose, smiling. It's just a beautiful sight. I lie my head on his chest again, listening the fast beat of his heart, feeling the rise and fall of his breathing pattern. Oh yes. Happy is a good start. "It's so good to put faces on the names, Dana. I feel like I've known you for ages!" Marsha smile as we resume our seats on the table. Mulder and Phil are engrossed in a discussion about a their last case and the couples on the dance floor are swaying to a known 80's tune. I smile back, thinking what on earth Mulder told them about me. "I'm not the monster he talked about." I joke, smiling as she laughs. "Don't worry. He's incapable of saying something bad about you." "Really?" "Yes." She sighs. "He's an amazing guy, Dana." "I know." I add silently, averting her eyes and choosing to gaze at the glass of wine in front of me. "Phil admires him very much, you know. When he found out that he was gonna work with Fox Mulder... he couldn't believe it. It was his dream." She sips her drink looking at Phil with loving eyes. "They're good friends." I nod, my gaze hypnotically draw to Mulder's and he smiles. God, he's beautiful. I smile back and turn to Marsha once again. "Mulder says you're a pathologist. I don't know how you can do it. I mean, working at the FBI is bad enough, imagine working on dead people." She shudders, closing her eyes. "What do you do?" "I'm a lawyer. I'm in a middle of a case and I really have to go back to Boston." She sighs. "But I loved DC so far. and... I got to meet Mulder's girl." She smiles, winking at me. "I'm not..." I start, but she cuts me. "Dana... I know it's none of my business, but Mulder is my friend and I really want him to be happy, like I am with Phil. And, seriously, I've never seen this happy." "I'm happy he's here too, Marsha. I missed him a lot." "So don't let him go away again," she says, and my eyes widen. "He wants to be with you." "I can't make him stay." I whisper. "He doesn't want to... I can't..." "Of course you can." Phil approaches us, tugging Marsha to dance. She gets up and, before walking to the dance floor, she bends down and whispers in my ear. "Only you can." "Enjoying yourself?" Mulder and I are sitting side by side, watching Phil and Marsha dancing. Mulder has an arm draped across my shoulder, hugging me close. His face is very near mine and it's all I can do not to kiss him again. "Yes." I smile, looking at him. "Uh.. so..." he swallows, looking at the dance floor again. "Wanna go home, eat some junk food, maybe watch a flick?" "Why, Mulder, what happened with making out in the car?" I ask, grinning as he blushes. "Well... that can be arranged," he says in a small, tentative voice. "So... junk food," I say, changing the subject. "Popcorn and chocolate?" He chuckles. "You got it." "I'm in." Mulder signals Phil and the couple approaches the table. "You already going?" Phil asks. "Yeah. I gotta feed the girl some chocolate." I elbow him and he chuckles, holding my hand. "See you tomorrow?" "Sure. Hold my seat." Phil and Mulder shake hands. "Take care, 'kay?" then he hugs me tight, like an old friend. "Great to meet you, Dana." "Great to meet you too, Phil," I say and then I hug Marsha. "Thanks for taking care of him in Boston." She smiles. "I loved to meet you." "Me too. I hope we'll see each other more often." She winks. Marsha and Mulder hug and we watch the couple go back to the dance floor. "They're a really nice couple," I say as Mulder helps me putting on my coat. "Yep." "I like them." Mulder smiles and escorts me to the door. Georgetown 2:02 a.m. Great. Just fucking great. We're not a block my house and my car goes dead. And it's raining. A lot. And this dress is supposed to be dry-washed. And I'm in Really high heels. And Mulder is way too cute in that tux to get all drenched. Great. "Uh..." Mulder tries as we sit on the car, watching helplessly the storm outside "You said something about making out...?" not now Mulder, I glare at the window. He reaches for my hand, tugging it gently. "Hey, want me to go ahead and find an umbrella?" I shake my head no, stubbornly, still not looking at him. Great. God, I wanted this night to be perfect for us. Getting home, kissing him again, seducing him with this beautifully expensive Victoria's secret black lingerie, making love with him... Not get soaked to the bones. Damn it. "This fits." I mumble, playing with my hair. "What?" he asks softly. "Hey, Scully, you okay?" I turn at the sweet -but slightly concerned- sound of his voice and look at his beautiful face and all my anger melts away like snow. Right now I want nothing more than to make love to him. And I want it now. Now goddamn it. "Wanna make out in the rain?" I tease. He gives me a lopsided grin and his eyes light up. He nods eagerly and I can't help but laugh out loud. His chuckles quickly turn into full laughter as I open the car door and step outside. I'm instantly soaked. "Come on, it fells so good!" I say, opening my arms and lifting my head up towards the sky. Feels so good. I close my eyes and open myself to the touch of the raindrops on my face and the chill of the wind around me. Until I feel a warm and solid body embracing me. I smile, eyes still closed, as Mulder's hands envelop my waist, pulling me close to him. "It does feel good," he whispers in my ear. "Mmmm." I hum and open my eyes to meet his, warm green background and honey-gold specks staring right into my soul. And then his head lowers slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. And I end the final distance between us. Literally and figuratively. Our kiss starts chastely, but damn, I don't want chastity. I'm hungry for him and I want him whole and now and... I'm sooooo greedy when it comes to Fox Mulder. And we go on forever and it's over all to soon. We're both a little breathless and I'm a little lightheaded -- and it has nothing to do with the wine we had at the VC party. "More than good." He speaks very softly in my ear. I smile and pull away a little, balancing on one foot and using him as leverage while I take off first my left shoe, then the right one. He grins as my height drops considerably and I frown at him, not hiding the smile that threatens to split my face in two. He pulls me for another slow kiss, but I break it, withdrawing from him. "Hey, come back here!" he says, but I shake my head no, smiling teasingly. I take a couple steps back, daring him to chase me in the rain. He chuckles and accepts the challenge in my eyes. Dana... You're in for trouble. I laugh as we start to run, not minding the strange stares people are throwing at us. I keep a good advantage on him for a while, but he catches me in front of my building. Damn his long legs. And then he traps me in his arms and kisses me fiercely, this kiss not like the others. Not chaste, but lascivious. Hungry. Hot. Mmmmm.... Bless his long legs. "Up," I say into his mouth, not wanting to end this kiss. "It's up," he grins, his crotch making contact with my lower stomach. I can help but grin along. It is really up. God... what a cheesy thought to contemplate... "I mean, upstairs..." I state the obvious and disengage from him only enough to open the door and to press the button for the elevator. And when it arrives, we're still kissing. The encounter with Mrs. Laura in the hallway and all the small talk we had with her gave way much time for Mulder and me to rationalize our little rendezvous a few minutes ago. I'm trying with all my heart not to really start to hate Mrs. Laura. How could she possibly know that Mulder and I were a little hurried to get inside and jump each other's bones? Well, Mulder's hard-on and my flushed face were telltale signs. But noooo. Nothing is easy for Mulder and I, so the chances the hallway would be empty were close to... minus two. Could be worse. It could've been my brother Bill. Damn it. What if what we're doing is the wrong thing? The wrong choice? A few steps behind me, I feel Mulder's body tensing. He's afraid. He's not sure of this. Neither am I, I think. After struggling with the damn key for a few seconds, I finally open the door and we step inside, silently. I drop my shoes and they clatter with an abashing loud thud on the hardwood floor. "I.. uh... I'll go get some towels," I say, retreating to the bedroom. I'm very unsettled. Are we going to ignore this? Is it gonna break us apart? If I give myself to Mulder, how can I survive when he leave again? How can I go on incomplete? I need him. Before. Now. Tomorrow. Always. I take a deep breath and get a big fluffy towel, stopping by the armoire to take off my pearl earrings and collar. Don't think, Dana. Let it happen. We love each other. It's enough, remember? Walking slowly to the living room, I'm greeted with the sight of a barefoot Mulder crouched on the floor, sans tux and tie, lightning the fire. "Nice," I say and he turns to regard me with solemn green eyes. And he smiles the most beautiful smile I've ever seen on anyone in my whole life. He's radiant. "Come here," he offers me his hand and I accept it, sitting beside him and handing him the yellow towel. He made up his mind too. With all the tenderness in the world, he starts to dry my face. He moves to my neck and my head falls back at his touch. It arouses me and it calms me and it reassures me... all wrapped in one. How can he do that just by touching me? Then again, Mulder always knew how to touch me just right. He lowers one thin strap of my dress and slowly towels my shoulder, kissing me there. I'm not prepared for the shiver that curses my body and I bite my lip to prevent the moan I know it's crazy to break free. After a small eternity, when he is done, he repeats the motion on my other shoulder, never breaking our eye contact. He kisses my jaw, my eyelids, my forehead... sensuously, he leaves little kisses all over my flushed face. "Mulder..." Is that my voice? He chuckles, finally kissing me. I tug on his lower lip, and his tongue comes out to explore my mouth, and I just know he is trying to memorizing every inch of me. My tongue follows his lead and we start to play, our mouths engaged in a sweet old dance. I break the kiss and reach for the towel. "My turn," I smile and start unbuttoning his shirt slowly, tugging it from his slacks. I towel his face carefully and move down for his chest and lean stomach, delighted as he gasps at my touch. He turns around and I dry his back, kissing his shoulder once. His muscles shifts beneath my touch as he reaches for me, pulling me to him again and tugging the zipper on the back of my dress. The sound is awfully loud in the room, only our quickened breaths and the crackling of the fire breaking the blissful silence. He goes behind me and his lips trail a hot path down my recently exposed skin. He pushes the dress down my hips and I take it off, tossing it to some dark corner of the room. And... Oh my God... Mmmm... his tongue starts making lazes circles on my lower back and... Ohhhh... his licking my tattoo... "Mmmm..." I moan, biting my lower lip again. "Beautiful," he says when our eyes meet again. But I can hear the silent question. "I didn't sleep with him," I say kissing his lips and smiling at his relieved sigh. "That's... That's good," he whispers and turns me in his arms, until I'm sitting on his lap, my legs on each side of his hips. And then his eyes are draw to my chest. I always knew that Mulder was a breast man. My hands starts to roam on his chest, feeling how soft they are under my hands. I nuzzle that sweet spot where shoulder meets neck, breathing him in. He smells like rich wine and adventure. I could grow addicted to this smell. in fact, I already am. Kissing him, I lay his hand just under the swell of my breast, hoping he'll take the hint. And, oh boy, does he ever. After making me squirm like crazy on his lap under his tease, he finally takes one nipple into his mouth, sucking it lightly at first, then a little stronger. "Mmm... Mmmmulder... Oh God..." He hums his pleasure and I feel the vibration heading directly to my core, a warm moisture spreading between my legs. My hand finds his nipple and I start playing with it, tugging and caressing it as his suction on my other breast intensify. I leave his chest and move to the hem of his slacks, unzipping him. I raise just enough so he can push the garment down his legs and then resume my position straddling him. "Dana..." he says, kissing me again. "Scully," I say, surprising us both. I hope he knows what I mean by my words. "Always..." he says, gravely. "My Scully, my Dana, my partner, my friend..." I kiss him, grateful for his understanding. "My love and my lover." We're making love because... it's us. We know each other. We trust each other. We have a lot of baggage from our past, yes, but that's what made us who we are now. And all that brought us together. "I never forgot that." He adds and I have to fight back stubborn tears. With my head supported on his shoulder, I can only feel him reaching for a cushion from the sofa and putting it on the floor. "Lie down." I rest my head on the makeshift pillow and pull my arms above me, offering myself to him as a single finger of his caresses my body and hooks on the waistband of my panties, pulling them down... down... "I'm feeling warm and fuzzy..." he says and I laugh out loud. He chuckles and leans down to kiss me again. "I mean it." "Me too." "You're so beautiful," he says, his eyes dark from his arousal. "Surprised?" I tease. "I always knew you'd be breathtaking naked, but this... well..." "Better...?" "Than I expected, hoped, dreamed, asked for, fantasized..." he finishes, smiling and kissing his way down my belly. "Mmm..." "You're so soft." His nose nuzzles my tight and he moves up and up and... oh god, a little higher, Mulder... yes... there... ohhh... "Mmmmulder.. yes..." "What, baby? Tell me." My hands fly to his silky hair and I bite my lips hard. "You're doing... Mmmm... just fine on your own," I say and, god, I can feel him smiling as he kisses my core. He has the confidence of a long-time lover. Instinctive knowledge. He knows me. "You're good at this..." I manage between shaky breaths. "Mulder... You're so very good at this." And then he is using his tongue and hands and nose, touching and licking and nuzzling and I writhe and moan and gasp and cry, oversensitive to his erotic touches. It's so good... I'm on a verge of orgasm, my body tingling with the sensations evoked by him. It's too soon... way too fast... "Come for me, Scully. Come for me, Baby..." Oh God. All too soon I am coming and coming and it's white and hot and I'm floating and floating and falling and falling only to discover that I can fly... And when I come down from my journey among the stars, Mulder is right here to catch me. "I love you I love you... You're so beautiful..." he keeps saying sweet things for me while my breathing return to normal. "You okay?" I can only smile and reach for him. He comes willingly, searching my mouth. And I can taste myself on his mouth. My hands wander lower, felling the solid warmth of his hardness through the thin material of his black silk boxers and he answers me with a sharp intake of breath. I tease the waistband of his boxers and slowly tug it down, letting him free. "Dana..." he closes his eyes, resting his head on my chest. "You sure?" "Mulder..." "This..." he kisses my neck, "Is something very, very consequential." "Tell me about it," I say, forcing a smile. Is he having second thoughts? It would be just like Mulder to give me this kind of pleasure and denies himself of his own release. Lifting his face towards mine, I place a light kiss on his temple. "I know what I want. I want this, Mulder. I want you." I kiss him again, my hands caressing and scratching his back softly. He groans and I feel a warm gush running between my legs again. "I want you." I whisper on his ear and he shivers. "Oh god..." he moans as I take his hard length on my hands and start stroking his balls, carefully, teasingly. I increase the pressure slowly and he bites his lips, closing his eyes. "Good?" He moans, kissing me and placing a hand to settle my quickening tempo on his cock. "Baby... I'm not gonna last long... please..." he says between breaths. "Baby, Mulder?" I give him a last firm stroke and free him. He kisses me, positioning himself over me, caressing my slick folds, his tip glistening with my juices. "My baby," he says and slides in. Mulder is finally finally finallyfinallyfinally inside me. We both moan as his tip hits my cervix, the friction almost unbearable. Almost. "Nice fit," I say, breathlessly, after a moment. His answer is a maddeningly slow withdraw and an even slower penetration. And again... He pulls almost all the way out, only to come back inside me again, completing me, becoming whole. We're one single being, moving in unison. He thrusts and, not one to be outdone, my hips lift from the floor to meet him halfway. "Mulder..." He understands the plea in my voice and quickens the pace, sweat breaking on his face. It's too hot, too tight, too good. "So good..." he says closing his eyes and leaning down to rest his forehead on mine. "Scully..." I can't resist when he says my name like that. It's a 'I-don't- believe-in-god-but-I-wanna-thank-him-from-bringing-us-together- anyway' kind of voice. It drips affection and love. How could I miss the other times he said my name like this? How can I ever make him know how much he means to me? My answer is to pull his face to me and devour his mouth. His tongue caresses mine, mimicking our lower bodies. I can still taste a hint of myself in it and the thought almost drives me over the edge. I need more contact. I need more of him. I want to crawl inside his skin and be with him forever. I want... I want... He tugs at my breasts, squeezing and he breaks our kiss and start kissing and sucking and licking my nipples and his tongue is warm against my boiling skin, leaving me even hotter. Oh God, right there... right... He hits a particularly sensitive spot inside me and I scream so loudly that I'm surprised no one called the cops yet. One heavy and warm hand leaves my breasts to hold me down on the floor, gently, but firmly. "More..." I gasp, grabbing his ass and pulling him to me, daring him to increase the pace even more. "Can't. Might... hurt... you..." he says, between thrusts and gasps. "You won't," I say, urging him faster and he complies. I wrap my legs around him, ankles crossing at his back, preparing myself for his thrusts. "Oh God." Mulder groans as this new position gives him deeper access, intensifying our pleasure, our sweaty bodies glowing in the red-hot light of the fire. Ohhh... I'm gonna be sore tomorrow... The hand that was holding my hips in place goes between our bodies, to my clit and he starts massaging me there, circling and circling and yessss... there... "Yes, baby... come to me... I love you so much..." he says, giving a sharp tug on my hard nub and I feel a warm feeling spreading from my belly to my core and my legs... My orgasm builds, starting somewhere on my foot and expanding to my whole body as I explode again in million of tiny little pieces. Everything but the feel of him moving inside me is quickly forgotten. I feel the moan inside me ready to burst and I try to keep it inside... but I have no control over my body anymore. "Yes..." I open my eyes, without remembering closing it, to see Mulder, struggling for control. "Mulder... I love you... let it go... for me..." I whisper, close to his ear, biting his earlobe, my inner walls contracting and massaging and milking him. He growls my name and a few words of love, spilling his essence inside my unfertile womb and falling in a boneless heap on top of me. We stay quiet for a long time, while he tries to catch his breath. I kiss his hairline, nuzzling his soft dark hair. "I love you." I whisper and he gives an open mouthed kiss just above my breast before we both fall asleep. Dana Scully's Place Monday 8:20 Mmmm... You know that moments when you're not sleeping but you're not awake either? When you still feel your dreams and recall every shade of color, every sound? When you swear you can smell the ocean far away and you can hear a lullaby and a child's laugh? It's crazy and at the same time, peaceful. New and known. Safe and daring. And slowly... so slowly... conscious comes back, the sounds and images fading away piece by piece, note by note, shade by shade... All bleaches except a sound and feeling. And they're all I need right now: Mulder's regular breathing on my neck and a possessive arm draped around my waist. I like conscious better... There's no way I can bite back my smile. Or my happy tears. There's too many emotions inside of me right now for me to hold back. It's amazing to know that I can love someone as dearly as I love this man. A love that is so boundless. Knows no fear. It's so simple to love him. So natural. Looking back, I can't remember a time when I didn't love him. When he wasn't a part of me. I love him since the beginning. I've loved him forever. And I know he feels the same way. Always knew. Deep down, Mulder and I are made for each other. His soul knows mine. I know his soul. I felt it. Touched it. Loved it. Loved him. Love. I feel a kiss on my exposed neck and my smile grows bigger. His arms tighten a little around me as his nose nuzzles a sweet spot below my ear, finding a moan that ripped right from my heart. "Morning, love." His voice is throaty, never failing to leave goosebumps on my whole skin. "Morning..." I say, turning to face him. He's smiling so brightly and so pure... "I love you," he says, kissing my forehead. "You have no idea how much." But I do, my love. I do. How can one love another that fiercely? I kiss his Adam-apple, biting it gently then licking the hurt away. If I could, I'd wrap you in my arms and tuck you in somewhere safe inside me where nothing can ever cause you pain again, I say silently to my beloved. Looking at my deliciously tousled partner, all warm and soft and smiling from the sheer joy of being in my arms, I know that this is it. True happiness. My moment of perfect peace. "Forever," I whisper as my lips touches his. Mulder tenses a little and our eyes lock again. "Mulder?" The serenity in his warm greens is replaced by a certain uncertainty. He smiles, but it's a sad smile. An ominous smile, my mind supplies. I brush his hair from his forehead, planting a kiss there. No doubts here, Mulder. Not now. "Scully... I," he begins, but I silence him with a kiss. One hand comes to my hair, pulling my face closer towards his. This kiss is gentle, but somehow, there's some kind of desperation hidden in it's depths. Don't regret this, Mulder. Don't regret this. He turns us so I'm lying on my back and he is completely on top of me. The illusion of sempiternity is so powerful that I almost believe it's real. But I know better. Mulder is saying good bye. I can't control my body's response to his touch. To be true, I don't want to control it. My eyes slip shut and I moan as he nips my neck, his hand caressing my belly and heading lower. His whole body shakes with passion, with want. Last night, after our first time, he carried me to my bedroom and we made love again, slowly, languidly. Today, his lust hits full force. Don't say goodbye. in amidst our moans, I hear the phone ringing in the distance. "The machine picks up," Mulder murmurs, already positioned to enter me. I nod, grasping his ass, trying to pull him faster inside. Needing him to fill this terrible ache that begun to take place inside my heart. Craving his assurance that we're fine. That we'll be fine. "Dan?" The shock is so great that I push Mulder away, my eyes popping open in horror. "Dan, you there honey?" Mulder freezes on the bed, recognizing the voice he only heard one time, so many months ago. "Pick up the phone, baby," Beside me, Mulder winces at the endearment and I jump out of the bed, going to the living room. "I'm here." I sigh, turning back to the open bedroom door, where I can see Mulder still lying on the bed. "I called your mom she said you're home. You okay?" Arnold asks, concerned. "Yeah, I... I'm fine." Oh my god. Mulder haven't moved on the bed. His breathing pattern is even, he looks like he's sleeping. But I know better. The tension in his whole body is almost imperceptible, but I notice it. I feel it in my body too. "Dan... Dan, you there?" "Sorry, Arnold. What?" "Just called to let you know that the wedding was beautiful. I cried like a baby." He laughs, oblivious to the chaos that is my life right now. "You missed quite a show of maleness." "When are you coming home?" My breath catches in my throat as Mulder abruptly gets up, searching around the room for his boxers and disappearing from my line of view. "Tomorrow morning at the most. Why? Missing me enough?" "Listen, I gotta go," I say, walking back to the bedroom. "You okay?" Arnold asks, sensing my apprehensiveness. "Yeah." I hit the off button and drop the phone to the bed. Mulder is fishing through his bag for a shirt, already in jeans, his brow furrowed with restraint. He's the image of calm, if not for his trembling hands. "Mulder," I try, but my voice is not more than a choke. "Mulder," I say again, more clearly. "What?" he spats, not looking to me. "I'm... sorry." I whisper. He stops on his tracks and looks at me, his eyes so dark I can't help but give a step back. He notices and shakes his head, defeated, "You're sorry," he says, sitting back on the bed. "Jeez..." I walk to my dresser and pick a large blouse, suddenly realizing I'm still naked. But the shirt doesn't give me the illusion of safety. I feel bare inside. "I'm sorry you had to hear that phone call. I'm not sorry about us." I'm amazed my voice comes out so steady and the tears have not fallen yet. "Us? There's no us, Scully," he says flatly, getting up and going to the living room. "What do you want me to say, Mulder?" I ask, going after him. "What do you want me to do?" "Doesn't matter what I want." He sits at the sofa, grabbing his combat boots. "Mulder..." "You wanna hear what I wanted?" he looks up at me, his voice a dangerous growl. "I wanted you to tell that fucking bastard that he shouldn't bother to come home," he spats the word, looking straight at me, and the he adds, his voice softening after a sigh, "because you was already at home with me." "Mulder... I can't just..." "He asked you to marry him, didn't he?" My power of speech seemed to have vanish, so I only nod. "Fuck, Scully, when were you planning on telling me?" The tears that I so proudly held in check, come unhindered now, my energy drained. "So, last night, what was that all about?" he asks. "You wanted to fuck someone other than your husband and I just happened to be the first male around?" he ignores my shaking head and plunges on, "I knew I was doing a pretty selfish thing last night, but I thought we could work out the risks," he says softly. Then his face hardens again and he adds, "But no... you just wanted to fuck someone, right? A pity fuck, Scully?" He keeps throwing insults after insults at me and somewhere on my fogged brain I realize what he is doing. "Why are you doing this, Mulder?" I ask, drying my tears and stepping closer to him. He finishes tying his shoelaces and looks at me. And I see a crack in his armor. "Mulder... what are you not telling me?" Some unnamable emotion crosses his face for a brief moment, but he gets up, moving to get his bag. "Congratulations on your wedding," he says, walking to the front door, "Have a nice normal life." And he's gone. My head hurts... I hurt all damn over... And then I feel it. After the numbness passes a little, I feel it. A gentle caress on my forehead. Just the whispers of a touch... A lover's touch. "Mulder?" I open my eyes slowly, mindful of the massive headache I'm having right now. Then the images of this morning come flooding in my mind and my head jerks up. And then I know it's not him even before my eyes are fully open and adjusted to the bright light. It's the touch of a lover, alright. Just not his touch. "Mulder?" I blink to meet the face of a surprised Arnold Campbell. "As in Fox 'You Partner' Mulder?" he backs away, sitting on the floor next my couch. I passed out on my couch? Jeez. I push myself to sit up, my head spinning a lot in the process, and utter the dumber words ever. "You're back." No, Dana. I'm a hologram. "Not that you liked it, though" he answers bitterly. "Care to elaborate?" Not really. "How's the wedding?" "Good. Good. Don't change the subject. The famous Fox 'Just Your Partner' Mulder is here in DC?" I can almost see the quotation marks in his words. I'm almost disappointed he doesn't say 'that sorry son of a bitch'. It seems pretty accurate to me. I'm sure he asked me something, but I can't remember what it was, so I just nod. "He was here, hun... and you two are intimate enough that he wakes you like I just did?" he sighs, "No. never mind... I really don't wanna know..." he says, getting up. "Arnold... we have to talk. About us. About me." "About Mulder, you mean," he says, turning back to me, "So he's back in DC and he made you a visit. Big deal. I need to take a shower." Talk about an easy way out. "No. Arnold, damn it, can just listen to me?" I say, getting up. Ouch... the room is spinning. Spinning... And it stopped. Cricket. Cricket. "He had a FBI convention and he stayed here with me," I say, certain that we need to have this conversation even when all I want right now is to kill this stupid cricket that is 'cricketing' in my right ear. Or is that my left ear? Cricket. "Here? All this weekend?" I just nod. "He's still here?" he looks around as if Mulder were going to burst into my place anytime now. I wished. Cricket. Cricket. "I'm not exactly sure where he is now. We had a fight. He went away..." I remember... calling mom... I remember drinking. Yes... I really remember drinking. And now I remember why I don't drink much. "Did that son of a bitch hurt you?" I try not to laugh. Not for Arnold's sake but because my head can not take that much abuse at once. Even though the 'son of a bitch' part was funny... "Dana, what were you think when you..." yadda yadda yadda... Cricket. Cricket. Cricket... Damn it!!!! "Shut up!" I yell. The cricketing stops. Arnold stops. Too bunnies with one stone. Or something like that. "Okay" I start, taking Arnold's hand and leading him back to the couch. "He stayed here with me." Great... if I'm not mistaken, I guess I already said that. Twice. So I just take a deep breath and drop the bomb on his lap. "We had sex." Arnold's mouth opens and then closes a couple of times and then he coughs. Funny act, if you ask me. Not that you would, per se. "You what? You let that son of bitch touch you?" Now, how do I answer that without betraying my cool exterior? He gets up and paces a little around the room his blue eyes turning black from rage. Or is that red? And then they focus completely on me. "You had sex with him?" Uh... am I not making myself clear? Okay, now I'm Really getting pissed off with my inner sarcasm. It seems that the drunker I get, the bitter I am. Talk about Mulder rubbing off on me. And I don't even mean in the... Okay, Dana K. Scully. Stop it Right now. "Oh, fuck." He sighs and I realize that he must be very pissed. He's not one for curses. "Fuck fuck fuck, Dana..." Yep. Pissed it is. Well, that's pretty much what I did this weekend. Fuck everything. Fuck my life, fuck Mulder's life, fuck Mulder, fuck with Arnold... After a six year abstinence, I'd say that's a rather impressive dance card. "I'm sorry, Arnold," I say, holding my knees near my chest. I don't wanna deliver this final blow, but I can't let things stay the way they are. "I'm sorry I hurt you... but I'm not sorry I slept with him," I say, and despite my confidence, I can't stop my voice from breaking. He sighs and drops to his knees in front of me. If you're that way to propose me, than you're sicker than I thought. "My god, Dana... I..." shaking his head, he clears his throat and starts again. "The thing of it is... I do love you. I'm really mad right now, but I do. And I want to know what do you want." "That's not a fair question." "Well, you slept with him, so I guess I have the right to be unfair." Touché. "I'm sorry. After everything I did in the past... when I met you I was lonely, needy. I let my defenses down... loved you." "But you're not in love with me, are you? You don't love like you love Mulder." "I can't." I shake my had slowly. Everything seems slow now. Slow motion. "Go." Arnold mouths the words so damn slowly... I shake my head and the world goes back to it's natural orbit. "Go to him." He's saying. "I won't hold you. I can only ask you to stay, not try to make you do." "You deserve someone who loves you just as much as you do. Not me. Though I do love you very much, my heart is just... not free. It will never be." "Then I'll go." And he did. Hoover Building "Dana! So you Finally disengaged from Mr. Cute, hun?" Sandra says after bumping into me in the FBI's lobby. "He's gone," I say, moving past her, heading to the elevators. "Back in Boston? That was a fast trip, hun?" she smiles. Damn elevators. Wait a sec... "What are you ding here at the HQ?" I ask. She looks at me weirdly, but answers anyway, "I'm here assisting an agent in Vicap. How about you?" "Skinner," I say, pressing the button again. Damn, Damn, Damn. "What happened?" "He left. I don't know where he is... I..." "Dana, what happened?" "Arnold called. We were still in bed and the machine picked up." Her eyes widen when I say 'in bed' but she says nothing. "Mulder is lying to me." "What are you talking about? Lying?" "He's hiding the reason he left DC and he's making excuses not to stay here now," I say, mostly to myself. Ding. At first, I thought that was my brain chiming after finally connecting the dots. But it was only the elevator, of course. "You guys had a fight?" She enters the car with me. "Yes. He said I just wanted to fuck someone... that he..." "I'm so sorry he wasn't what you thought he was..." "No... that's not it. Not at all, Sandra. Something's up." "What?" "I don't know. I need to find out." "Find out what? Dana, listen to yourself, you're not making sense." "Finally, I am making sense." Hoover Building AD Walter Skinner's Office 10:30 am "Listen to me. You're gonna tell me everything, all of it, and you're going to tell me now." This is not the time for being well mannered. I want to find Mulder, damn it. And I want it now. "Dana?" Walter gets up, frowning. Beside me, I can see Sandra grimacing. Yes, Sandra. I'm pissed now. "Dana, is everything..." "No, it's not alright, Sir," I say, my hands sprawled on his table. I lean into his space and try to muster my most threatening voice. "What the hell is going on?" Damn. I sure scared him. Oooo. "Agent Scully..." he begins, but then he falls back on his chair gracelessly. "This was doomed to happen." "What is, Sir?" I say, my voice softening, "Please, what is?" He sighs and then looks at Sandra, who seems totally uncomfortable about me screaming with my former AD. "Scully," he begins and I can't help but think why on earth is he using my last name again. Ooo boy, this is going to be good. "Sit down." "Sir..." "Sit down," he says in a ton of voice that I hadn't heard in months. I comply, motioning for Sandra to sit too. After she does, I focus my attention on Skinner, who is currently rubbing the bridge of his nose with one hand and holding his glasses with the other. "I shouldn't..." he sighs again. Skinner doesn't sigh. Not that often. For the love of god, what the fuck is going on? "But you must. You will." "What the hell happened?" he asks, his voice low, his head hung. "Mulder left. He didn't tell me where. He... he was trying to pick a fight with me. he was trying to say good bye..." Once I begin, it all comes rushing from my mouth in a mess of barely said words. "He's lying to me. I know him, I know... it's serious or he wouldn't have left..." "He had to," he says, still not looking at me. "Why? Is it... the Consortium? The... the Project?" I force the words out of my mouth. Please no. Not after all this. "Yes." Sandra looks at me, not understanding the conversation, but at least having the presence of mind not to ask me for explanations. "God." I breathe out. "The fire in the basement... it was only the start." He continues, eyes focused on his nameplate. "The start? It was the worst thing they could've done to him!" "No. It wasn't. The fire, Agent Fowley's death... They're only warnings." "Warnings? Sir..." "You think Mulder's spirit was broken because of that fire? Think again, Dana... what's more important in Mulder's life?" "Samantha..." "No," he finally looks at me, his eyes haunted and sad, "It's not my place to say this, Scully..." "Please. I need to know." "I don't know all of it. However, I do know why Mulder... why he left." I knew it. "It was the Cancerman. He made Mulder leave," I say. "Yes. Mulder didn't leave because he wanted to. He had to go." At Skinner's words, my mind throws me back into that fateful night when Mulder came to my place - Dana, I have to go. "They threatened him, right? They burnt the basement and killed Fowley and... and what, sir? Offered him Sam?" "No. God, Scully, they threatened you, for god's sake!" Of course. I know, Walter... I just don't wanna believe it. "That smoking bastard told him..." he sighs again, taking his glasses off- again -- and rubbing his eyes. He's starting to get on my nerves. "He told him you'd be abducted again. For good." It's a good thing that I'm sitting, otherwise... "Mulder agreed to abandon his quest in exchange for your life." My eyes close and I can't hold back the tears. "What were the terms?" "Never see you again. Ever." Skinner whispers. "At first, he wanted to disappear. He even told me about some crazy plan about killing him and hiding his body so they would let you be... but he realized that his death would bring too much pain to you. Dana, he's still living because of you. He breathes because of you." "You made him take the job in Boston. To keep him alive." "Don't turn it into something more, Scully. " He is silent for a few seconds, letting me absorb this. My God, Mulder, what the hell... And I realize I already knew all of this. I would act the exact same way if our roles were reversed. Leave it all behind for his safety. My mother, my brothers, my home... everything. As long as he was well. Apparently satisfied that I had made peace with the fact that I was the cause for the wreck in Mulder's life, Skinner clears his throat and continues his little horror tale, "Mulder tried to bargain and was allowed to keep contact with you by phone. But he always suspected your conversations were being monitored." I nod, my throat suddenly so dry. "Mulder was close to something. Close to finding proof." Proof? "Alien life. Colonization. Irrefutable proof." Skinners tells me, his voice low. "This is insane," Sandra says and I jump, surprised. For a moment, I had forgotten she was even here. "Dana, what the hell? You believe him? All this? Jeez, this is..." "Sandra..." I clear my throat, "Before we worked together I..." "No! This is crazy." She tells me, matter-of-factly. Yeah, tell me something new. "Sandra..." "Do not believe him, Dana. Alien life? Please, this is ridiculous," she says, grabbing my shoulders and starting to shake me. Now, that's new. "Sandra... Sandra!" I yell and she drops her hands. "Don't buy it," she says, holding my hand. "Look, you have a life now, you're going to get married... Come on, Dana, let's go." "Go?" "Go away." She tells me, pulling towards the door. "Forget it. Forget it all." What in the blue fuck? "Let go," I say, pulling my hand away. "You're one of them." I sense Skinner standing beside me, ready to pull his gun out on her. "Stupid," she says, glancing at Skinner with pure rage in her eyes. "You're both already dead." And with a gracious turn she walks to the door. Silence. "She is one," I say, dumbly. Silence. "Car." Skinner say and we bolt from his office. Ooo boy, this is going to be good alright. Vicap Conference Parking Lot "I don't have to say how dangerous this is." It's the first time Skinner says something during our entire drive. "No, you don't." I take a deep breath, trying to stop my trembling hands. "Mulder is in danger, and so are you, sir. Please, don't wait for me." "Dana..." "No, sir. They'll come after you." "And you." "Are you saying I shouldn't look for him?" "No. I'm saying... damn, I'm not sure what I'm saying here, Dana." He turns the ignition off and leans back, closing his eyes. "Just... be careful." "I will," I say opening the door and getting out. I have this strange feeling that I'll never see him again. I don't look back. "Phil," I say, touching the tall blond man's back to draw his attention. "Dana? Hi!" he bends to kiss me on the cheek, a little embarrassed. "What are you doing here?" "Where is he?" "Mulder? I don't know... he never made here today... I thought..." "Phil. Please... I need to know." "What happened?" he asks, taking me by the arm and leading me to a more quiet area. "I need to speak with him immediately. His cell is off and I have no clue whatsoever to where he might be. I need you to tell me where on earth is he, or so help me god, Philip Studd I'm gonna..." "Okay, okay..." he lifts his hands in mock surrender, "He stopped by at my hotel room earlier, saying he was going back to Boston." Holyshit. "Did he say when?" Phil fidgets a little, clearly uncomfortable in this situation. "I need to see him before he leaves." I plead, knowing for sure that if he denies me this information I'll either shoot him point blank or cry my eyes out. "In one hour." Dulles National Airport 12:35 pm You gotta hate traffic jam. No, Mr. Whatever-you-do. I don't give a damn if my car is going to be removed by the triple a or whatever the fuck... Why not? Because you are one of Them, for all I know it, and your plan on Earth is to make me miss Mulder in there so Fuck OFF. Who is Them? What do you mean who is Them? Focus Dana. You gotta find Mulder. I'm sure I just earned a lot of bad names while I search the airport for Mulder. One sweet old lady just send me to, like Mulder told me once, the place where the sun don't shine. Like I care. I must make a very nice sight, though: A five-foot-two woman with wild red hair, madly scanning eyes and mismatched socks. Mismatched socks. Why the hell am I wearing mismatched socks? Do I even care? It's taking me all of my will power not to stomp on my foot, yell 'Mulder!!' and start crying like a spoiled ten-year-old. Who knows? Maybe I can get better results. As I run around the airport, the conversation I had with my mom over the phone comes back in a rush to me. My heart is going to burst any moment now. My mom's voice telling me to be careful... that she loved me... that I had to do what I thought was right... and could I please call her when I got to Boston and worked things out with Mulder? It saddened me having to tell her that Walter might be in danger. But I don't think that will be enough to pry them apart. True loves come twice at most in a lifetime. But what's making my heart almost bleed right now is the same sinking feeling that I felt when I left Skinner earlier today. Never Again. A feel a shiver down my spine, and I never felt so scared and alone as I do now. And following with the ten-year-old pattern I seem to be following, I wanna scream Mommy and run back to her. I don't, of course. I keep running and, even though it seems like I arrived here hours ago, I know I there haven't passed not even five minutes. Enough time to make me go crazy. Well, crazier. And then I stop. Even before my brain fully realizes why, my feet stop dead in their tracks and I swear I could smell the smoke they made as they halted. It's him. He looks... so Mulder... I can't see his T-shirt because of his leather jacket, since he has his back for me, but I bet it's one of his gray ones. His dark Levis fit snuggly to his form and he has sunglasses on to complete the picture of debauchery. Well, at least to me. That Mulder has always been one of my favorites. But even looking that good, he seems so weary, even from this far. His head is supported in his hands and his shoulders are slumped with... defeat? Guilt? Pain... I want to run, but my legs don't cooperate anymore, so I just stand there, looking at him. And then his head lifts up and he stands very still. Sensing me. He turns around, taking off his sunglasses, and looks straight at me, his hazel eyes boring into my soul, in a way I'm so used to. I guess I must've started walking in some point because suddenly I'm right in front of him. "Hi." I whisper, at a loss for words. Way to go, Danes, you found him. Now what you're going to do about it? "Hey," he whispers back, speechless as I seem to be. What was I expecting to happen? That he would sweep me off my feet like the damsel in distress I sometimes am but don't let it show? That he would say 'I love you' and 'that's okay, baby.... I'm here' and... "I know," I say, apparently keeping up with the monosyllables. He looks at a loss for a few milliseconds and then his eyes widen in understanding. "Who?..." "Skinner," I say and he closes his eyes, his shoulders sagging again. As if he's holding the weigh of the whole world on his back, he whispers in a broken voice that pierces my heart like nothing ever could, "Go home, Scully." "No." "Look, we're okay... really. Just go. I'll call you when I get home. You let me know about the... the wedding. I need to reschedule." He tries a grin, but looks more like a grimace. "You can't go home. They know I discovered your bargains, Mulder, and they'll come after you." I reach to touch him on the arm, but my hand falls short. "We need to talk." "No we don't," he says, and I can detect a hint of fear in his voice. "If they know something then you have to get away. Now. Get your mom and Arnold and go away." where to, Mulder? "I broke up with him, you know," I say, matter-of-fact. "Damn it, Scully. Don't do this to me. Don't do this to yourself." "You really expected me to go on living with Arnold when you know how much I love you?" He bites his lips at my declaration and tries a more real smile. Not that he succeeds. "You know, I was angry. I couldn't believe you were going to leave again. Just like that," I begin, seating in a nearby chair. "But I know you, Fox Mulder. I knew something was wrong. And now... I really don't know what to feel. I wanted to be really mad at you for leaving your life behind because of me. For considering death. For..." Great. Now I'm crying. Add these tears to the burden that Mulder carries for me. Damn it. Let him carry it. I certainly am doing some burden- carrying of my own. "Look, if you came here trying to make me regret my choices, then you are wasting your time, I don't. I won't. You're alive and healthy and that's enough for me." "But it's not enough for me. Jesus, Mulder... I want You." He looks down, crouching next to me, and I can see a single tear falling to the floor, "Don't do this to me, Scully," he repeats. "Please." We stay in silence until we hear Mulder's flight being announced on the speakerphone. He looks at me and prepares to stand up. in your dreams, my love. "You arranged the party, right?" he halts and looks at me with big wet hazel eyes and I just want to cradle him in my arms and whisper words of love for him. He nods. "They allowed me to see you, knowing I wouldn't risk your life." "Allowed? Listen to yourself! You sold your soul to the devil." "And you're alive. I won't argue about that." "Then if I kill myself you're free to go?" I say, desperately clutching at straws as Mulder's flight is announced again and he gets up this time. "What?" he yells and not just a few heads turn to regard us. "A solution that works both ways. We both will be free of our burdens," I say, crossing my arms as his mouth opens in shock. And this time, he screams. "Don't ever say that, Scully. Ever!" his hands lifting my chin roughly and bending down until our noses touch, "Ever, Scully..." And then he's kissing me, hugging me like he fears I might disappear, his mouth devouring me desperately, seeking contact, seeking life. "I love you so much, Scully... I need you so much..." Slowly, his kiss becomes more gentle, less frantic, and he just holds me tight and strong and warm. "Don't leave me, Mulder," I whisper, wiping his tears. "I can't stay." Well, buddy, seems your flight already left. I try not to smile. "What's going on here, damnit? We don't the have The X-Files anymore, They made sure of it. So what do we have to loose if we stay together? What do They have to protect by leaving us apart?" "I don't know, Scully. I never questioned. All I did was pack my bags and go. They could abduct who they fucking wanted to, me included, and I wouldn't give a damn. Get the point once and for all, Scully. You won't make me regret my choices." "Skinner told me you were close to something. What was it? What did you find out there? What proof?" "D, I..." "You know. Tell me. There's something big going on, right? They're protecting something. What is it?" "Something we'll only find out with the rest of the world." "Could you do that? So what is the point in all of this? You go away to save my life, but the world is ending anyway. In the end, it doesn't really matter, does it?" He sighs, drops his bag and falls onto the chair. I sit beside him, my hand reaching to him, our fingers entwining. Connecting. "Maybe..." but he only mouths the words. He clears his throat, "Maybe the Armageddon in closer than we expected." "Invasion." "Colonization." He chuckles half-heartedly and says, "See, that's why we're dangerous together. You make me want to save the world just so I can give you a safe place to live." I can't help the tears. Joy, pain, love, everything just becomes too much inside of me. Mulder turns and kisses me sweetly, gently. Just the pressure of his warm, soft lips on mine. A promise. Forever. "We have so much to do." "But what about your normal life?" "Fuck normal. I don't give a damn. I held it in my hands and it pales in comparison to what we have. I don't want normal, Mulder. I want craziness, I want the rush. I want all that comes in the package. Fox Mulder's Package." "Good, 'cause there's no reimbursement. If you want me..." "I've been stuck with this detail for a long time, Agent Mulder..." I say, kissing him again. "Then we go." I want to ask where, but I don't, really. It seems silly to consider something as trivial as a destination, when we have bigger worries. But right now, I don't care. Neither does Mulder. We know each other. We know how to work together. We can do this. "We can do this," he tells me, and I've never felt more secure in my whole life. "We'll fight Them." He lifts my hand to his lips and stands up, pulling me along. "Let's go." We'll save the world, I think. But don't go imaging martyrdom and altruism. You can call us selfish. We need a safe world to live together, after all. We need infinite time. Epilogue Undisclosed Location 10:13 PM "It happened as we planned," the tall woman says, smiling deviously. "They are back together." "Good." The words leaves his mouth in a cloud of smoke and the woman struggles not to cough, though her eyes burn with irritation. "I know it's not my business, but..." she says, but then stops, realizing that she really doesn't care. They can die for all it matters to her. "There was a purpose. They needed to be apart during those months. Now, they're even more valuable to us." The old man smiles, showing his yellowed teeth. His dry face seems to crack under the pressure of the slight smile and she wonders how on earth is he still breathing. He smells permanently like smoke. Like death. She hated that she had to smoke... "You know what you do." "When the right time comes, they'll do anything to keep the other alive. And it will be of utmost benefit to The Project. They're strong pieces of the game." So, not paws as she originally thought. Damn, she could've learned more from the seemingly normal Dr. Dana Scully. "You may go," he says, the cigarette smashed in the ashtray. She can't help a shudder. This is what he can do to anyone. Looks are deceiving. He's not about to die. He'll live forever, as far as she knows. Getting up and leaving the room, she opens the manila folder she received from the Man. Two ID cards, two Driver's license, a new address, bank accounts... Sandra Wilson does not exist anymore. Neither does Phillip Studd, for that matter. She can't wait to tell him about their new assignment. Thank god the babysitting job is over. It feels so good to be back in the action again... The End. All Done. Bye Bye. Ania
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