Title: The Case of the False Santa Claus
It was with tears in her eyes that four-year-old Jessica Scully greeted her favourite aunt. "What's wrong?" Scully asked her brother, taking the distressed girl in her arms. Charles Scully leaned heavily against the doorframe of the basement office. He looked just as upset as his daughter did. His wife was at home with the boys and the whole family was pretty much shocked. Mulder watched the family from his desk, hoping the news wasn't too horrific. The Scully family had suffered enough. "Santa Claus stole all our presents," Jessica whined. Both Scully and Mulder looked at Charles, startled. "Santa Claus?" Scully said in the voice that implied Jessica might have well said that she had been abducted by aliens. "It was somebody!" Charles sneered. "Jessica heard a noise in the middle of the night and went down to investigate. She saw someone dressed up Santa Claus who told her to not wake up her parents. He said he was there to distribute presents to family, sent her up to sleep, and then took all the presents." "All of them?" Mulder asked. "Every single box," Charles replied angrily. "The bracelet I brought Penny for four hundred dollars is gone. The toys for the kids. The stereo system Penny got me. They even took the Barbie Playhouse I brought for Jessica. That's close to three thousand dollars worth of Christmas money gone." Money wasn't the thing Jessica was heartbroken about the most. "I thought Santa Claus was supposed to be a nice person," she said to Scully sadly. "But he's just a crook." Scully glared at the smile she knew Mulder was hiding behind his hand. "Santa Claus is a nice person, Jessie," she assured the girl, and Charles knew more than enough to protest, although he wanted to say, "Yeah, and he took our stuff!" Scully patted Jessica on the head. "That man in your house just wasn't the real Santa Claus." "But I thought only the real Santa Clauses came into people's houses," Jessica mumbled. "There's no magic spell that prevents burglars from donning a Santa costume at Christmas," Mulder informed her. "Does he have to be here?" Charles complained, pointing at him. Scully looked at her partner. "Mulder, you really know how to hit it off with the men in my family, don't you?" "Even without trying." But the expression on his face grew more serious as he leaned over to Jessica. "When did you put up the presents under the Christmas tree?" Jessica looked at her father for the answer. "Last Thursday," Charles replied. A quick look at his watch informed Mulder it was Friday and only December 17th. "That's awfully early to put all those presents under the Christmas tree. Who would have known you got your presents out so early?" Both Scully and Charles understood where Mulder was going. Scully intervened. "Jessica," she said softly, "did you tell anyone about the presents under the trees? Any friends at school?" Jessica thought about it. "I told Mrs. Murray that Daddy got Mommy a bracelet and I told Crystal and Connie and Trina and - " As the little girl ran off her class list, Scully looked at Mulder with a pained expression on her face. The parents of any of the children could be the culprit. "And Santa Claus -" "Santa Claus!?" all three adults shouted. "When?" "Before everything was taken?" "Which Santa Claus?" Jessica looked confused, not sure which question to answer first. "Mommy took me to see Santa Claus when we went shopping," she said, unaware that she had just given them the crux of the puzzle. Everything after that fell in place as neatly as the five piece puzzle that was a present for her baby brother. Her father closed in on her. "Jessica, did you tell Santa Claus about the presents under the tree?" Jessica nodded her head. "He asked me what presents we had so he wouldn't get me the same thing." "Did he ask you where you lived?" Mulder asked. "No," Scully answered for Jessica and was confirmed when the little girl shook her head. "That would have aroused Penny's suspicion. Did he ask for your full name, Jessica?" "I told him Jessica Lynne Scully," Jessica responded, and when Scully asked if Santa asked for the names of her parents: "Charles and Penny." The three adults looked at each other, thinking, "they are such things as phone books." "Your aunt Dana is right," Mulder said soothingly to Jessica. "Santa Claus is a nice person. He's just checking the quality of the presents for you. He'll return them to you soon." "You really mean it?" Jessica said, disbelieving. Mulder nodded his head. He looked up at Scully who was quietly talking to her brother. "Charles is going to get the name of the shopping mall from Penny," Scully told him. She looked at Jessica. "Don't worry, Jessie. Santa is going to return all your presents."
Mulder hung up his cell phone. "Apparently there's been three other reported cases of a burglar dressed up as Santa Claus stealing presents. Guess which shopping malls the children of the family went to visit Santa Claus?" "Petty," said Scully with evident contempt, pulling her car into one of the parking slots in front of Twelve Oaks Shopping Centre. "Ruining a child's belief in Santa Claus," Mulder added mockingly. He looked at Scully with renewed interest. "You really didn't want Jessica to believe Santa Claus was a crook." There was an absentmindedness in Scully's eyes as she walked up to the mall. It was snowing outside, and Mulder liked the way the sun made the snow glisten on Scully's red hair. It wasn't cold, just wet, and the air was clean. "Bill told me Santa Claus didn't exist when I was four," Scully said flatly. "It kind of ruined my Christmas." "I could see that." The interior of the shopping centre was stunning. Christmas lights and wreaths hung from the ceiling in the shapes of stars and candles and candy canes. There were banners with toys, the nativity, and Saint Nick painted on them. The man in the middle of the fountain spouting out water had a little Santa hat on his head. The agents smile when they say it. "The Little Drummer Boy" was being played softly in the background. "What are you doing for Christmas this year?" Scully asked, as they stood by the fountain, staring at the pennies in the water. "I'm going to visit my mom," Mulder said. "Think of it was a belated Happy Hanukkah, although we really didn't celebrate that either." "As long as you're with your family," Scully muttered. "This is the first Christmas with Chuck's family in a long time." "Jessica's an army brat?" Mulder asked. "Big time. They spent their last Christmas in Korea." "Reminds me of someone I know," Mulder said. Scully shook her head, smiling. She felt something being pressed in her palm and saw it was a penny. "Make a wish, Scully," Mulder said. Scully eyed him with surprise. "I haven't done that in years." "Come on," he coaxed. Scully sighed and then closed her eyes. She then opened them. "A penny? God, Mulder, panhandles must hate you." "Tradition, Scully," Mulder insisted. "You're supposed to throw a penny in the fountain, not quarters and dimes." "That's just an excuse to be cheap," Scully chided, but she smiled and closed her eyes again. After making a silent wish, she tossed the coin in the fountain. "What did you wish for?" Mulder asked when she walked away from the fountain. "If I tell you, it won't come true," she reminded him. "If you tell me, I might be able to help." She looked at him with eyes that clearly said, "Maybe you could." Abruptly, Scully turned away and saw the lineup of kids. "Mulder, there's the Santa Claus Booth." The booth wasn't open yet, although there certainly was a line-up. The chair was empty, and the elves were shifting the props around. "Okay, so we have a head start," Mulder whispered. "So how are we going to go about this? We could search his house but I doubt he's keeping the present there." "We can go about this the same way he does," Scully whispered. "The store just opened half an hour ago. From the cases you described, it seemed he robs the families on the day they go to see him at the mall. I can get the names of all the kids who have their trees up with the presents all ready to be stolen. We can get an officer to stay at the houses of those families in case `Santa' shows up." "How are you going to get the names of the kids without arousing suspicion?" Mulder asked. "Dress up as one of the elves?" There was genuine admiration in Scully's expression. "That's a good idea, Mulder. I never thought about that. Are you willing to do that?" "Are you kidding?" Mulder hissed. "I'm not dressing up like an elf!" "Come on, Mulder," Scully said softly, almost seductively. One almost expected her to reach up and caress his hair or play with his tie. "Do it for my niece." When did Scully get so seductive and flirtatious? "Fine. I will but only if you do as well." All the seduction and flirtation melted away like snow on a warm June day. "Don't even go there. We'll talk to one of the elves, let them in on the plan, and ask them to get the information for us." "What if the elves are in it as well?" Scully laughed shortly. "This isn't the time to get paranoid, Mulder." She suddenly groaned. "I'm going to regret this."
Luckily for them, they only had to play Santa's little helpers for two hours before the electricity in the booth short circuited and Santa Claus was dismissed home early. The short circuit was a result from a phone call Mulder made to Byers. It was good to have friends like that. The list of potential victims was relatively short: six kids mentioned that their presents were out under the trees and told Santa the full names of their parents. Both agents were surprised at how freely the children disclosed information to Joey Woodsworth, who played the part of Jolly Ol' Saint Nick to perfection. The girls seemed more open with Santa Claus, the boys shyer and more prone to cry when they were planted on Santa's lap. One girl gave an impressive list of all the presents under her tree. "A sapphire necklace and bracelet from Daddy to Mommy should impress any burglars," Mulder muttered as they closed the booth. Joey Woodsworth had left early and the elves whom Mulder and Scully had replaced for the day were enjoying their "paid vacation" elsewhere. The mother had beamed when the girl told Santa about the Jewelry set. "I hope he strikes tonight," Scully said later that night as Mulder got into her car. The vehicle was parked in front of the house of Jennifer Admir, the girl with the long list. "Coffee?" Mulder asked, heading her a styrofoam cup. It was almost midnight, and they had been perched in their position since eight. Mulder had gotten up for coffee and to use the washroom of the nearby coffee shop. "Thanks," Scully said, taking a sip. "I phoned Sergeant Riley. He has five officers parked outside the other houses, all undercover." "Let's hope we catch him tonight," Mulder said. He watched Scully carefully drink her coffee, her eyes never leaving the dark road in front of her. He took a sip himself before commenting, "We hadn't had a stakeout together in a long time." Scully held the cup an inch away from her mouth. "The last time we did this, you left me with a vampire." "I thought I was doing you a favour," he said with mock hurt. "Seeing how you showed up in his jacket, I thought maybe I did." "I seem to have the worst luck when it comes to men." "I can't be that bad." She looked at him for a moment. "You're an exception, Mulder." "Really?" he said, and the change in his face was subtle but obvious. He was pleasantly surprised. Scully's own face changed but it had nothing to do with the conversation. Her eyes widen and she almost dropped her coffee cup. "Mulder!" she cried, pointing, "there he is!" He was running across the lawn, a blur of red and white colours, carrying a heavy large bag. The agents jumped out of their kids, guns poised. "Stop! Federal agents. We're armed" they both shouted, and "Santa Claus" halted. He turned around slowly. "Hey," Joey Woodsworth yelled. "You're the two elves at the booth today!" "And you're no Santa Claus," Mulder replied, approaching the stout man with a gun in one hand. He ordered Joey Woodsworth to put his hand up in the air while Scully opened the large bag to see what was inside. "Mulder," she called, tilting the bag so he could see all the wrapped presents inside. "It's a little early to be distributing presents now, isn't it, Santa Claus?" Mulder asked as he pushed Joey Woodsworth against the car and cuffed him. He read him his rights while Scully went to ask the Admirs if any of their presents were missing. It was moments like the smiles and relief on the Admirs' face when they realized that their presents were just outside on the front lawn that made Mulder and Scully love their job.
"Jessica," her mother whispered, gently shaking the girl. Jessica opened her eyes and yawned. "What is it, Mommy?" Her mother beamed. "Somebody's here to see you." The little girl rubbed her eyes and sat up in her bed. When she opened her eyes again, she saw her parents and Aunt Dana in front of her. "Hi Aunt Dana!" Jessica cried, scooting off the bed and running to give her aunt a hug. Scully kissed her hair. "Hello, sweetie." Jessica yawned again. "What are you doing here? What time is it?" "It's three in the morning so it's no wonder you're sleepy," Scully answered. "But somebody is waiting downstairs for you." "Who?" asked Jessica, but Aunt Dana gave her the look that told her it was surprise. Jessica tiptoed down the stairs into the living room. She let out a squeal of delight when she saw the presents back under the trees, carefully wrapped with pretty strings holding them together. Beside the tree, Santa Claus was talking to her two older brothers about basketball. "Hi Santa!" she called. "Hello Jessica," Santa Claus replied, and Scully had to bit her lip to keep from laughing. Mulder was having a hard time trying to conceal his own voice and sound jolly and old. "You returned all our presents," Jessica said quaintly. "I was checking the quality," Mulder continued in that fake voice of his. He looked at Scully with eyes that said, "you owe me." The white beard was tickling his nose and it was hell trying not to sneeze. Scully watched Mulder put Jessica on his lap and assuring her that all the presents were in excellent condition. She couldn't stop smiling, especially when Mulder promised Jessica he would never take the presents without first telling her family about it. Yes, it was very wrong of him to do so and make her parents worry so much. Scully chuckled. "Okay, Jessica," she said. "I think Santa has other presents he has to return to other houses. Time to say goodnight." "Goodnight, Santa Claus! Thanks for returning the presents and I hope you got me something good!" Jessica exclaimed, and her parents ushered her up the stairs. Her brothers had gone up earlier. The moment they were gone, Mulder started sneezing. Scully patted his back. "That beard bothering you, Mulder?" she asked. "Oh God, yes!" but he gave no indication of removing it. Scully put a hand on his shoulder. "Thanks Mulder," she said softly. "You made this Christmas really special to Jessica. And me too." The earlier "you owe me" look was gone and replaced with something warm and content. "I was glad to do it," he said in his normal, low voice. He grinned. "It was worth it to see you in that elf costume." Scully rolled her eyes. "I'll admit, your legs looked great in those tights, although I could do without all the women asking if they could sit in your lap." Mulder laughed. "Do you want to sit in my lap, Scully?" he teased. She waved the question away, but Mulder caught that hand and pulled her into his lap. She let out a squeak, and then a laugh, before resting comfortably on his knees. "So Scully," he said as he put his arms around her, "have you been a good girl this year?" She smiled and wrapped her own arms around his neck. "Very good," she murmured, her eyes dark and vivacious. "What do you want for Christmas?" Mulder's eyes were equally vivacious. Scully leaned over and whispered something into his ears. Jessica ran into her parents having sneaking downstair to make sure Santa wasn't planning on stealing the presents again. "Mommy, Daddy!" she squealed as she threw herself in their bed. "Guess what I saw!" Her father reached over to turn on the lamp. "What is it, darling?" "I saw Aunt Dana kissing Santa Claus beside the Christmas tree!" The End
Note: I like to use colosal words to sound smart but I really have to stop this ignominius habit of misspelling them...
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