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Title: A Return Summary: Mulder's back.. I had to get in on the action. Warning, unbeta'd. I'm too eager. Read at your own risk. If anyone would have told her that there would be times when he wasn't in her every waking thought, or that she wouldn't cry herself to sleep every night, she would have been highly insulted. She would have laughed at the thought that sometimes her most pressing concern would be that she was out of milk, or the idea that she wouldn't become a shell of her former self looking for him. Not that she didn't jump on every new lead like a redhaired dog with a bone. Not that she didn't talk to every person, or follow every trail that even hinted of his whereabouts. Not that she didn't pray for him every night. Her mother told her, "Dana, I know you'll do everything humanely possible. And you just keep believing God will take care of the rest." Not that the swell of her stomach wasn't a constant reminder in itself. But, she had her work. She had those everyday problems that forced her to acknowledge life still went on. There were even times when life brought some measure of happiness. This happened mostly in her 'outings' with her mother. Sometimes, when the loss of him threatened to overwhelm her, she needed to forget, for her own sanity if nothing else. Those times, she could have sworn her mother was psychic. Always, when it was at its worst, her mother would call and they would go out. On those days, they had a silent agreement that fear, longing, even Mulder's name were off limits. And, she would laugh and talk, and gather strength for when it all came flooding back. So, she hadn't been thinking of him when it happened. She hadn't been thinking actively of anything. She had just been lying in bed, drifting off to sleep. It had been a long day. Then the phone rang. "Miss Scully, there's a man here matching the photograph you gave us," the voice on the other end said. One of the first things she did was give his picture to the hospitals, saying he might just appear without warning. She was usually met with strange looks, and she wondered if they didn't just crumple up the picture when she left. But, she knew Georgetown Medical Center would take her seriously. After all, hadn't they experienced the same thing with her? "I'll be right there," she answered after a moment of silence. She threw some shoes on and hurried out the door. Briefly she wondered if she should tell someone. Skinner, or her mother. But, she got in the car, and all thoughts but Mulder flew out of her head. "When was he found?" she asked the nurse, who led her to Mulder's room. "He just... appeared." She stumbled over the word. "I have to tell you, Miss Scully, I've never seen anything like it." Scully smiled. "You're new here, aren't you?" The nurse was somewhat tongue tied at that remark. They continued in silence until they reached the door. "Is he awake?" Is he conscious, in a coma? Do I really want to do this? Why am I afraid? I want to run away! "Yes, but..." Again the hesitation, and Scully gave her a no nonsense look. "He's scared to death." Those words were enough to give her own courage back. Mulder was scared. Had she ever seen him scared before? Only when he was concerned about her. She pushed the door open. He was in bed, trembling violently under the sheets. His eyes Darted back and forth. Finally they landed on her. "S-scully?" he whispered. "Yes, Mulder, it's me." The tears broke free, but she wiped them away, when she saw them rolling down his own cheeks. "T-take them off me, please." Now, she noticed the restraints."Get me out of here. Please, I don't want to be here anymore." His voice was a hoarse, frantic whisper. "Mulder you're safe now. You're in the hospital," he didn't seem to hear her. He still tugged at the restraints. When she moved closer, he screamed and didn't stop until she backed away. "You're not Scully. Scully wouldn't leave me here. I want to go home," he sounded like a small child. Scully couldn't take it. She rushed out of the room. "I want him released," she told his doctor as soon as she saw her. Doctor Hemmings put up a cursory fight, but it was mainly just Going through the motions. Physically, there was nothing wrong with the man, except some weight loss and a few curious scars. He was strong enough to fight the staff because of whatever perceived threat he saw, which was what warranted the restraints. But, this woman was a doctor, too. Dr. Hemmings felt she could be trusted to take care of the man. And, unprofessional or not, she couldn't say no to that hungry look in those blue eyes. It hadn't been easy getting him out of there. He fought like a madman, screaming and sobbing. Scully told him over and over that he was safe, and he was going home. Finally, he seemed to register her words. His legs were shaky, and he collapsed into the wheelchair. Once they got to the car, Scully wouldn't let anyone else help him in. She buckled him up, and got in the car. "Mulder?" she asked as she drove. "You do know you're not on the ship anymore? You're going home." "Home," he whispered. He glanced around, much the way she thought a prisoner would look on his first day of freedom. A car horn blasted next to them, and he jumped, shaking again. She reached a hand out to him. He looked at it. "Scully?" This time there was recognition in his voice. She smiled. "Yes, it's me. Mulder." "I was.. They took..." he couldn't finish. "I don't remember how I got back." "It's okay." She pulled up to her building. He looked at her as she helped him out of the car. "This isn't my place." "No, it's mine," he leaned on her as they walked up the stairs. She opened the door, and led him to the couch. They sat next to each other, not talking. She put her hand in his, and he clutched it. "Scully, I'm scared. I don't know why. I'm back?" he searched her face, as if looking for confirmation, and she nodded. He looked down and noticed her stomach for the first time. He sucked in his breath. "How?" "Birds do it, bees do it, even FBI partners do it," she answered, flippantly. "It's mine?" The look of awe on his face was beautiful. His eyes reluctantly went back to her face. "I should have been here." Scully stood up, muttering something about drinks. His words brought a cold, shameful feeling. She marched into the kitchen, fists clenched. She took a few deep breaths and loosened her hands. She grabbed some glasses, and scrubbed them, even though they were already clean. She heard him come up behind her, but she didn't stop what she was doing, until he reached around her and shut off the water. "You can say it," he sounded more like his old self now. "Say what, Mulder?" she answered in a tired voice. "You're angry." She shook her head. He put his hands on her shoulders, and spun her around. "SAY it." It was almost a command, and something snapped. "Yes, I am angry. I know you. I know how much having proof of extraterrestrial life means to you. Admit it, part of you wanted to go. You weren't thinking of me, were you? Were you?!" She shook with anger that had been boiling since his disappearance. This was the first time she had allowed it come out. Even when she was alone, she hadn't admitted it to herself. She looked into his eyes, and felt ashamed. "Mulder, I'm sorry." "No, you're right. Part of me was excited. I did want to protect you, but how could I not be happy to finally no the truth," he stumbled over the word happy, obviously bracing himself for her reaction, but she merely nodded. "I mean, I wasn't happy to leave you, and I certainly wouldn't have been if I knew about the baby. But, I have been looking for this almost my whole life. I guess I got what I asked for," he ended on a bitter note. The anger was ebbing in concern for him. "Do you remember anything?" "It's not a conscious memory. Just feelings. Fear and pain. I think I COULD remember, but.... I don't want to." She yawned. It was after midnight. "I'm going to bed. You need your rest, too." She took his hand, so there would be no mistaking that she expected him to sleep with her. She had a feeling that he might have nightmares, and she wanted to be with him. She also wanted him next to her for her own selfish reasons. As they got into bed, she thought of calling someone again, but decided against it. It was late, and tomorrow would be enough time for that. For now, she let her eyes close. Right before she fell asleep completely, she whispered, "I'm glad you're home." Author's notes: I hesitated to write a return fic, because so many have been done so well, and I'm still not comfortable with writing X-Files fanfic. But, I had to join in. I wanted to put in some things the way I think they would be. I'm a big shipper, but I don't think it would be all hugs and kisses. I think Scully would be mad at Mulder. It may be irrational, but I think a lot she would have a lot of conflicting emotions. Plus, I think Mulder would be at least somewhat traumatized. It ain't no joyride on that ship. I can't write mytharc (don't really care about it), and this may seem kind of claustrophobic in setting. Just the hospital and Scully's apartment. Sorry about that. Also, any flaws in logic are mine. Just mine. Chris Carter, you can't have them.
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