Title: Waiting So Long
Author: little Starbuck*
Written: May 2001
Rating: PG
Category: Post-ep, MSR, babyfic, missing scene (whew!)
Feedback: Yes Please! Send to starbuck42ajw@yahoo.com
Disclaimer: Not mine, CC's and 1013's, blah, blah, blah. Spoilers: Existence, small spoiler for Per Manum. Distribution: I would be happy to share, please keep my name on it.

Summary: Scully POV when Mulder comes to visit her after she gives birth. (This story is kind of like a second part to Things I Thought Impossible)

Dedicated to Dael Anne, a great friend!

~*Pleeze Enjoy*~

Waiting and watching... his every move. How can one be so engaged in such a small thing. When he inhales I get chills. When he exhales, I hesitantly allow myself to do the same. I have trouble just falling asleep at night, worried out of my head that he won't be there when I wake up... that they'll come and take him from me, that they'll change their mind.

Little William Scully, such a miracle! And, when his father held him for the first time in that abandon house, I knew he would never, ever have to worry about receiving enough love. Mulder loves this child almost as much as I do and he's only seen him once. I don't think either of us has ever been so very happy.

"Do you know how special you are?" I ask him gently, knowing I wont get a response amounting to much more than a "gurgrglah". But, just that insignificant noise means the whole world to me.

"You are my little boy, yes you are. And I love you so much and so does uncle Bill and Grandma and... and so does your daddy." Now it dawns on me. He doesn't know. I never really told him the truth. This is his baby, too. I almost thought he knew it when I handed Will over to him for the first time only minutes after he'd been born, how he had that knowing look in his eyes. But how can he know if I'm not even one hundred percent sure? God, he must wonder, this must be driving him insane.

"Hi, Mulder, it's me." I greet him with this familiar line.

"Hey, Scully. How are you feeling?" His monotonous voice lightens up suddenly and I know it's because he's thinking about William.

"I feel fine. Hey I was wondering if you wanted to come over and visit us sometime today... I know you aren't busy." I joke.

"Yeah, sure. I was just gonna call you and ask if there was a good time." He replies.

"Anytime... hold on someone's at the door," I stand, taking the phone along with me, just in case my new visitor is, oh, say Billy Miles, "It's the Gunmen. Hi guys." I greet them while still on the phone with Mulder.

"Hey, Scully I'll head right over." He hangs up. I lead Byers, Langley and Frohicke back to my room. They've all brought gifts.

About a half an hour later, Mulder's smiling face appears in my bedroom doorway. He hasn't brought a gift, but he doesn't need to. He's given me the greatest gift of all... the gift of life.

"How's everybody doin'?" He asks as he steps in. I slide off the bed and carry William to him.

"We're doing just fine." I smile, handing the baby over to Mulder... Will whimpers, longing for his mother.

"Hey, now. None of that." Mulder whispers kiddingly as he takes his son from my tired arms, "What are you going to call him?" Mulder asks quietly.

"William... after your father." He glances up at me, not smiling or to say thank you... he's thanking me with his eyes, with his heart.

"Well, I don't know... He's got your coloring and your eyes... but he looks suspiciously like Assistant Director Skinner." We both laugh. I hope he isn't serious, though. I hope he knows.

"I don't understand it, Mulder. They came to take him from us, why they didn't." I ask, my emotion beginning to surface.

"I don't quite understand that either... except that maybe he's not what they thought he was. But, that doesn't make him any less of a miracle does it." He looks up at me again, this time he's smiling...with those deep hazel eyes.

"From the moment I became pregnant I feared the truth... about how and why. I know you feared it too." Oh God, here it comes. I'm to the point of no return.

"I think what we feared were the possibilities... the truth we both know." He says, returning his melancholy gaze to my face. Does he know... which truth does he speak of?

"Which is what?" I ask carefully.

But, he doesn't answer... We've come too far for simple words. He leans down and presses his lips gently against mine. And I have no choice but to kiss him back. We've been waiting so long... holding this in. It seems as though we haven't touched in years. I reach around him and pull him closer... Our son, the only thing between us. I'm remembering now, something Mulder once told me... nearly a year ago...

"As weird as this sounds, and it sounds really weird, I know, but... I just wouldn't want this to come between us..."

... Now it has, but not in the way he had expected. It's allowed us to come this far, what will happen next? I'll admit, this wasn't the answer I was in search of... but it's more than I had ever hoped for.

Our lips part after quite a long time. His eyes are still closed, just centimeters from my face when he begins to speak...

"Well, Scully. I guess that's the end of waiting." He smiles.

"I guess so." He straightens his back and opens his eyes, looking down at me.

"That truth I was talking about... I think you know what it is." He says playfully.

"Do you, Mulder?" I look down at Will. He's nearly asleep now.

"I think it has to do with little sleeping beauty, here." He touches the baby's face gently.

"You're right, it does. How did you find out?" I ask, tears moistening my eyes.

"I didn't, I... just know." He looks up at me again.

"Thank you." I reach up and cup Mulder's face with one of my hands.

"No, Scully. Thank you."

I suppose we've found the truth... in our son and in ourselves. And, the father of this child was not the only question I had... not the only possibility I feared. I think I've been afraid to come this far... for so long I waited, and hesitated and held my feelings in. I think there is more than one truth that we both know and I don't dare speak it's name. Perhaps it's the truth we've known all along.

And somehow, nearly unnoticed, it found it's way into our hearts tonight... after waiting so long.

~*The End*~

Author's Notes:

I have one rule in life. Expect the worst, but hope for the best. I guess this came into play when Existence aired. I never thought CC would be so gracious, but he proved me wrong. I loved the end of this episode so much, I just had to write another post-ep (the first one being 'Things I Thought Impossible'). Man, I'm gonna be writing all summer long! I hope you liked it! If you did, feel free to send me your thoughts!

little Starbuck*

Just a little side note: This week's EW had the following to say about how long we'll all be talking about the season finale: "The X-Files - Scully (GA) has a baby and kisses Mulder (DD). Date We'll Stop Talking: August 5. Talking Points: David Duchovny is exiting after only a peck, so X-Philes will need three weeks to pen consummation fan fiction . . . and months of cold showers."

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