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Title: The Return Summary: Mulder is returned from his ordeal on the alien ship. Author's notes: This was inspired by Beduini's reunion challenge over at I Want To Believe. The smut was mostly for Sybil's pleasure. Many thanks to Jamie, Sandy and Gerry for taking a look and making some fine suggestions.
I knew this was going to be awkward. I had known since the moment they called me and told me Mulder had reappeared. Okay, maybe it wasn't my first thought, but after all the big things were out of the way, this one was hanging over me; like a piano on a hoist. I keep thinking one false move and I'm dead. Geez, Dana Katherine...get a grip. I look out into our bedroom and can't help remembering what it took to get us to this point. Each milestone was a difficult journey. Mulder was discovered in Oregon in February. They discovered him in the woods one night. If it wasn't for all of Doggett's work getting Mulder's photo out, I'm not sure that we would have found him. He was catatonic and more than half dead. We finally got him back to the rehabilitation hospital in DC in March. He was in terrible shape. I don't know if he'll ever be able to tell me what they did to him on the ship, but the physical evidence was disturbing. Significant testing had taken place and it appeared there had been elements of torture. Once he broke from the catatonic state we were able to deal with the physical problems. He was so emaciated and the muscle loss was significant. He had to learn to do everything again. It was frustrating for him, and hard for me to watch. In April we tried to bring him back to my apartment. I knew it was too soon. He knew it was too soon. I think that the physical problems had helped me not notice all the other changes. Mulder looked the same on the outside, but it was on the inside where he had really changed. He was broken and I didn't know how to fix him. I tried. I really did. In May, just as I was about ready to give birth, Skinner took him to Minnesota. There is a special clinic for the victims of torture located there. Mulder just didn't have the emotional skills to deal with what had happened to him. The first time he had an episode I locked myself in my bedroom. The second time he tore my door down. The third time I called and Skinner took him away. It broke my heart. This was supposed to be our time. This baby was a gift from God, a gift from Mulder, and I wanted him to share it with me. By the time I went into labor his therapy had progressed to the point where he could have phone calls. I had them put a speaker phone in the birthing room. I wanted him with me, but the next best thing was having him share it with us. The pain was intense, even with my mother holding my hand, standing right next to me. I wept tears wanting him there with us. My heart broke a little bit as I held our daughter on my stomach, the remnants of her birth still on her little face and body, the cord still pulsing. As I pulled her to my breast I could hear Mulder's sobs on the line. In June I took Alexis to see her father. He seemed really good. He had moved to a halfway house and we were both hopeful. They were great together. It was clear that he loved her as much as I did. By July certainly he would be able to come home. It's September. He's here. He's in my bed. And where am I? Hiding in the nursery.
She's afraid. I'm afraid. Of course it's been so long since I wasn't afraid of everything that I hardly know how to feel. I want her to come in here. I've wanted it for a very long time. I can't remember our intimacy. I know that we had been close, but Scully's pregnancy was a shock to me. I know it hurt her that I could not remember the last few months before my abduction, but then again, I never told her about the things she had forgotten during hers, either. Rereading my diary, I could see that I had finally had the balls to act on all of my feelings...or at least to let Scully have her way with me when she finally asked. I'm such an idiot. The floor just creaked. The baby must be asleep. She must be coming.
I slide into bed next to him. We agreed on this. It was actually part of the therapy before Mulder left the center. We had to agree to boundaries, wishes, needs. Mulder had asked for intimacy. I was willing to give it. I wanted to, but I was so afraid. What if... I reach over to him. He takes my hand and kisses it. I love Mulder's kisses. They are so soft. I move toward him and replace my hand with my lips, kissing softly. His hands move down my body. It's still soft from the baby. He touches his hands to my breasts. I just nursed Alexis, so they aren't totally swollen, but they are sensitive. I arch my back slightly and he pulls away. "No, that's okay," I reassure him. His hands return. I don't know what to do. I'm going to follow his lead. He continues to move slowly over my breasts, down to my hips, back around, touching me everywhere with his gentle hands. I want him everywhere. Slowly he rolls me onto my back. I am ready, I want him back. I pant slightly waiting for him to enter. After what seems like a millennium, he does. He's back. He's with me. Mulder, I love you. I feel him move over me. Would it be a cliché if I said I had dreamed about this? God, they were the worst. I would wake up in the morning wet with my scent and Mulder still gone. I needed to remember that this was real, he was here, he was with me. He moves to a rhythm that is his alone. I could be lying in our bed blindfolded and know it's him. I feel him growing in me, filling me. "God, Scully..." his voice trails off. He gasps, then falls against me. We're not young, we're not old, but we've both been through quite a bit this year. This might be our best effort for the night. The thing is, it's great. It's another hurdle. He's back. Fin
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