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Title: Sarah Companion: Dead To The World Summary: Mulder gives Sarah an unintentional fright, and Scully comes to the rescue. NoteS: This is the latest in an on-going series. A complete list of the "Sarah" stories can be obtained from the above address, and all the stories are archived at Gossamer. The character of Sarah Mulder belongs to the author and should not be used without permission. Mulder was exhausted; shattered. Two difficult cases back to back, which entailed him being away from home for almost two weeks, combined with several late nights in a row and the constant running around after Sarah had taken their toll. He needed to sleep - he craved it. The last thing he'd needed was his bright eyed and bushy tailed daughter worming her way in beside him for her morning cuddle, but he couldn't bear to turn her away and send her back to her own room after so much time apart. His tiredness was such that he'd been barely able to crawl off the couch to see to Sarah's breakfast. Mulder measured out the oatmeal into her bowl, hardly able to keep his eyes open, then placed the saucepan of milk on the stove. He sat down at the little kitchen table, his head propped in his hands. Two minutes...he could rest for two minutes, until the milk was warmed through. No, he had to keep his eyes open, he had to stay awake. Mulder felt his eyelids drooping and jerked himself into wakefulness. A few moments later, his eyelids began their downward descent once again, and this time Mulder succumbed to the temptation. He closed his eyes and drifted off. Sarah lay on the couch, in the space her father had recently vacated, watching the Saturday morning cartoons on the TV. She giggled at the antics of the characters on the screen while waiting for her father to call her to breakfast. Gradually she became aware of a nasty smell wafting in from the kitchen. Sarah sniffed the air - something was burning. She threw off the blanket and headed for the kitchen, only to find her father slumped over the table and the milk boiling over on the stove, hissing and spitting as it touched the burner and creating an acrid smelling, sticky black mess. Mulder's cheek rested on the table top, his arms lay around his head, bent at the elbows. Sarah shook him gently. "Daddy?" she whispered. No response. She shook him with a little more force. "Daddy." A bit louder. Sarah began to whimper. Something must be seriously wrong if she couldn't wake him up. "Daddy, please wake up." Tears were rolling down the little girl's cheeks now. She shook him vigorously, without effect. "DADDY!" Sarah screamed. She didn't know what to do. Sarah knew she wasn't supposed to go near the stove, Mulder was always frightened that she might burn herself, but she knew she had to turn off the milk. Sarah was more afraid of what might happen if she didn't. The little girl headed for the stove; it would be all right as long as she didn't touch the pan. Sarah quickly turned off the heat, then ran to the telephone. The insistent ringing of the telephone drilled into Scully's subconscious. Only one person would be calling at this time on a Saturday morning. Scully toyed with the idea that if she left it long enough, he'd give up, then thinking better of it, she stretched out an arm and lifted the receiver. "Scully." No response. "Hello?" Scully sat up, making a quick note of the time. It wasn't as early as she'd thought. "Hello? Is anyone there? You'd better speak now before I hang up." Scully's ire was rising. If there was one thing she detested it was calls like this. She was just about to slam the receiver down in disgust when a sudden noise at the other end of the phone made her stay her hand. The sound was like a soft sobbing. "D-dana?" Sarah gulped in a large breath of air. "Sarah?" Scully immediately adopted a gentler tone. "Is that you, sweetheart?" "Yes." The little girl gave another shuddering sob. "What's the matter, sweetie?" Scully couldn't possibly imagine what had happened to upset the child so much. Then it all came out in a rush. "Dana, I'm frightened. Daddy won't wake up. He fell asleep and I can't wake him and the milk was boiling over and I had to turn it off." Now Sarah was crying in earnest. Scully was completely awake and sitting on the side of her bed. "Sarah, listen to me. You did the right thing in calling me. Where's your father now?" "He's in the kitchen, at the table." Sarah's words were barely audible through her anguished tears, and when she next spoke it was in a tiny voice. "Dana, is Daddy dead?" Scully's heart lurched and almost broke at Sarah's pitiful enquiry. She tried to sound as positive as she could with her response. "I don't think so, honey. I think he's just very tired and fell into a deep sleep. Now, I'm coming over, okay? I'm just putting some clothes on and I'll be there as soon as I can. Is your front door locked, Sarah? Can you check for me?" Scully took the opportunity to pull on her jeans while Sarah checked that their door was secure. "It's locked, Dana." "Okay, that's good. Don't open it until I get there. I'll knock three times so that you'll know it's me. Can you repeat that back to me, Sarah?" Scully hurriedly ran a brush through her hair. "I mustn't open the door until you get here and you'll knock three times." "That's right, sweetheart. Good girl." Scully scooped up her keys, weapon and credentials, and grabbed her black doctor's bag, quickly checking the contents. "Are you coming now, Dana? I'm afraid." "I know you are, honey. I'm leaving right now and I'll be there as quickly as I can, okay?" "Okay, Dana. Shall I hang up?" "That's up to you, Sarah. I can call you back on my cellphone and we can talk as I drive over if you like." "I want to be with Daddy," said the little girl. "Well, you go and sit with your father and I'll be with you in a little while. I'll hang up now, but you can call me back if you want to, okay? You have my cellphone number there, don't you?" "Yes. Daddy wrote all your numbers down and put them by the phone for me in case I needed you in an emergency." Scully thought that this more than qualified as an emergency, at least in Sarah's eyes. "I remember now," smiled Scully. "You go and look after your father and I'll be there right away. You're a very brave girl, Sarah. I'm going to hang up now, okay?" "Okay, Dana. Bye-bye." Scully hung up as soon as she heard the dial tone. She drove as quickly as she could without breaking the speed limit. Scully's mind was working overtime trying to imagine what could possibly have happened to Mulder. The past couple of weeks had taken their toll on both of them, less so on her because she didn't have a seven year old child to look after when she got home at night. Sarah's presence had brought many alterations to Mulder's life style; he no longer burned the candle at both ends, staying up half the night watching TV or working on cases. When they were out on the road, it was a rare occasion when he kept Scully up late discussing the details of the particular case they were working on or trying to persuade her to buy into his latest outlandish theory. Scully tried to recall what he'd been like the day before. He'd been fine, as far as she knew. He'd fretted over the amount of time he'd spent away from Sarah recently and he'd complained light-heartedly of being tired, they both had, but that was all. Mulder certainly hadn't complained of feeling unwell. Well, it was no use speculating; she'd investigate fully when she arrived. Right now, she wanted to reach Sarah. The child had sounded terrified. Sarah replaced the receiver and went back into the kitchen to keep her father company while she waited for Scully. Mulder hadn't moved. Sarah reached out and touched him gingerly. "Daddy," she whimpered. Sarah sniffed, remembering that Scully had called her a brave girl. A very brave girl. The child drew a chair closer to her father and sat down, clutched a handful of his t-shirt and cuddled up as best she could, weeping softly. The three loud raps on the door made Sarah jump. She shot out of her chair and ran to the door, stopping a few feet short of it. "Who is it?" she called, remembering her father's instruction to always ask first before opening the door. "It's me, sweetheart," came Scully's voice. Scully heard the door being unlocked and then Sarah's arms were wrapped around her, the little girl burying her face in Scully's midsection and sobbing loudly. "It's okay, sweetie, I'm here now. Let's go inside and close the door." Scully took a moment to comfort Sarah, then once the little girl was more composed, took her black doctor's bag into the kitchen and set it on the table. She could see that Mulder was breathing, and she put her fingers to the pulse in his neck, just to make sure. It was strong and regular. "Well, your daddy's still alive," reported Scully with a warm smile. "I'll just make sure that it's nothing serious." Scully reached into her bag and brought out her penlight, raised Mulder's left eyelid and passed the light in front of his eye. The pupil retracted until it was no bigger than a pin prick. "What are you doing, Dana?" asked Sarah, looking up at Scully. "I'm just testing to make sure that your dad's eyes are still working properly." "Why?" Sarah watched as Scully waved the penlight in front of his other eye. "Well, when I do that, it tells me whether his brain is working as it should." "Is it?" asked Sarah anxiously. "It looks like it," smiled Scully. "I think your daddy's just very, very tired. He's been working very hard recently. Why don't you bring me a cushion and the blanket so we can make him a bit more comfortable." Sarah hurried off, returning a few moments later with her father's favorite soft cushion and the blanket from the couch. Scully carefully lifted Mulder's head, slid the cushion under it, laid his head back down gently then covered him with the blanket. He really was dead to the world. "I'm hungry, Dana." "Haven't you had any breakfast?" Sarah shook her head, her tousled waves flying from side to side. "Daddy was making my breakfast when he fell asleep." Scully had noticed the mess on the stove. "Well, I haven't had any breakfast either, so why don't you go and sit on the couch and I'll bring us both some cereal. Is that okay?" Sarah nodded, then her little face crumpled again. This time, her tears were tears of relief, that her father was all right, and she wasn't alone anymore. Scully wrapped her arms around the child and held her tightly, her cheek resting against Sarah's rumpled tresses. "It's okay, sweetheart. Daddy's going to be fine." Her fingers combed through the long, dark waves. "You did very well, Sarah. You've been very brave. I think your daddy will be very proud of you." "Daddy won't be angry because I touched the stove, will he? I'm not supposed to touch it." "No, sweetie. You did the right thing." Scully lifted Sarah's chin so that the child had to look up into her face, kissed her brow and smiled. "Now, how about I get that breakfast?" After they'd eaten, Scully sent Sarah off to wash while she sorted out some clothes for the little girl to wear, and checked once more on Mulder. He was still out for the count at the kitchen table, not even twitching when Scully ran a light hand over his hair, and brushed the back of her knuckles across his sandpapery cheek. "What on earth have you been doing to make you this tired, Mulder?" she wondered aloud, in a soft voice. Scully had already decided that she would examine Mulder in more detail when he woke up to make sure that he was all right – he looked a little pale under that stubble, his forehead was a little warm to the touch and there were dark shadows beneath his eyes. A sudden thought hit her. Could it be mono? A couple of their fellow agents had gone down with it recently, and Mulder had spent some time working on a case with one of them before she and Mulder had gone out of town with their own investigations. Scully wondered if Mulder had picked up the infection. His extreme tiredness could be a symptom, but it could also be a symptom of so many other things. There was no visual sign of the glands in his neck being swollen, and his current position at the table made it difficult to do a proper examination. Also, she didn't want to risk waking him. Scully's ruminations were interrupted by Sarah calling for her, and she headed for the child's bedroom. Sarah had already dressed herself in the jeans and sweatshirt that Scully had laid out for her. "Will you brush my hair for me, Dana?" "Sure," answered Scully, with a smile, noting the carefully folded pajamas and neatly made bed. She brushed Sarah's thick mane thoroughly, then arranged the hair around the child's shoulders. Sarah had beautiful hair, and it was hard to resist the constant temptation to stroke it. Even Mulder couldn't keep his hands away from his daughter's tumbling locks for very long when they were together. He'd tried to explain it to Scully once, but had found it difficult to put into words. A part of him still couldn't believe that Sarah was with him for good. Not long after she had come to live with him, Mulder had confided to Scully that he'd been having a recurring nightmare where he'd been judged a poor father by a group of faceless officials, and that Sarah was to be taken from him. His constant touching and stroking of her hair was a reassurance for him as much as for the little girl that she was with him forever and that she was loved. "I'm making up for lost time, Scully," he'd said with a sad smile on his face. "All those years apart, and this is what I've been missing." He was reveling in the opportunity to know and love and enjoy his daughter in a way that had not been possible before. As for the nightmare, as time had gone on, it came less frequently and now only at times of great stress. Scully could not imagine what must have whirled through Sarah's head with the thought that her beloved father might have breathed his last, and she suddenly felt a burst of anger that he could put the child through such an ordeal, even unintentionally. Scully knew that Mulder would never do anything to deliberately hurt his daughter, but she still felt like hitting him for causing Sarah such anxiety. "Dana, are you sure that Daddy's all right?" asked Sarah in a tiny voice. "Are you sure he's not going to die? Daddy's not in a coma, is he? Mommy went into a coma and she died." "I'm sure, sweetheart. I promise you he's not going to die. He'll be fine when he wakes up, you'll see." Scully kissed the soft skin on Sarah's cheek then pulled her into her arms. They sat quietly together for a while, then Scully said, "Sweetheart, I'm going to clear up the mess on the stove. Why don't you watch the TV or a video while I'm doing that?" "Okay, Dana. I can watch the new video that Daddy brought home for me yesterday." "All right, but don't have it too loud. We should let your daddy sleep as much as he can." Knowing that Sarah was perfectly capable of operating the VCR, Scully went back into the tiny kitchen. She stopped and checked again on Mulder, who was still in the same awkward position, dressed in what, for him, passed for pajamas – grey sweatpants and a navy blue t-shirt that was now soft and faded after repeated washing and wearing. Satisfied that her partner was fine, Scully set about soaking the milk pan and cleaning up the stove top. Luckily, thanks to Sarah's prompt action in turning off the heat under the pan, Scully didn't have to use much elbow grease to clean up. When she finished that, she made herself a cup of tea and poured a glass of chocolate milk for Sarah, and they enjoyed their refreshments sitting side by side on the couch. Scully noticed that the little girl was clutching the old Knicks t-shirt that Mulder had given his daughter not long after she had started living with him. Imbued with his scent, it had served as a security blanket whenever Mulder went out of town and Sarah had to stay with Mrs. Scully. As the little girl had grown accustomed to her father's absences, the t-shirt had appeared less and less, but now it was back. "You okay, sweetheart?" she asked softly, stroking Sarah's cheek gently. "I think so." Sarah turned towards Scully. "Can I have a cuddle please, Dana?" "Of course you can, sweetie." Scully smiled warmly and opened her arms. "Come on, come here." The little girl snuggled into Scully, who wrapped her arms protectively around her young charge and just held her. "Are you still worrying about your daddy?" asked Scully gently. Sarah nodded. "He's going to be just fine, sweetheart. When he wakes up, he'll be as right as rain, you'll see." "What if he doesn't wake up? What will happen to me?" Scully disentangled herself from Sarah and took the little girl's pinched and anxious face in her hands. It had been a long time since Sarah had worn that expression, way back in the early days after they'd first met, but Scully could well understand why it had reappeared just now. "You would come and live with me, just as your daddy has arranged. Do you remember that daddy told you he'd been to see his lawyer and the lawyer had fixed it so that if anything ever happened to your dad, you would come and live with me?" The little girl nodded. "Sweetie, you don't have to worry about that now. Nothing is going to happen to your dad." Scully smiled and added softly, "Sarah, I promise you that your daddy will wake up and he'll be fine." "Really, Dana?" The child still looked doubtful. "Really, sweetheart. He's going to be just fine." Scully and Sarah stayed cuddled together for a while longer, Scully wanting to make sure that the little girl had been reassured by her words. Eventually Sarah moved away and curled up in the corner of the couch, clutching the Knicks shirt and looking very forlorn. Scully leaned over and patted the little girl's arm, receiving a watery smile in return. As she looked up, something on Mulder's desk caught Scully's eye. She wandered over and picked up the small, round clay tablet and ran her fingers over it. It was a varnished imprint of Sarah's right hand. Scully gathered that it was a recent acquisition as she'd not seen it before. "I made that for Daddy at school," Sarah informed Scully proudly. "It's wonderful, Sarah." Scully noted the long, elegant indentations of Sarah's fingers. Mulder's fingers, she mused. "Daddy has a print of my feet too. Would you like to see it?" Sarah was already half way off the couch. "I'd love to, sweetheart." The little girl crossed to her father's desk, opened the second drawer down, drew out a wooden photograph frame and handed it to Scully. The feet were tiny, and in the bottom left hand corner of the print was written, "Sarah Elizabeth Page, May 6th, 1990." "That's my feet when I was a baby," explained Sarah. "My mommy gave that to Daddy on the day I was born. He's going to put it on the bookshelf." Scully ran her fingers over the imprints beneath the glass; a tangible memory of a momentous occasion in her partner's life. A day he could still recall as if it was yesterday. "Mommy said that when I'm all grown up it would remind Daddy of how tiny I was once." Scully chuckled. She knew that if it were possible, Mulder would have his daughter remain a child forever. The print of Sarah's feet was in perfect condition, a treasured memento of her arrival in the world. "It's lovely, sweetheart. Here, you'd better put it back – we don't want it to get damaged." Scully handed the framed print back to the little girl, who placed it carefully back in the drawer. Mulder woke with a start, feeling a crick in his neck and a stiffness in his back and shoulders. He slowly raised his head and looked around, squinting and rubbing his eyes. What the hell was he doing in the kitchen? Absently, he picked up the cushion, looked at it as if it were a foreign object then put it down again. Mulder pushed his chair back a little then stood with a groan, the blanket falling off his shoulders to the floor. Placing his hands on his hips, he leaned backwards in an effort to unlock his spine, then raised his arms above his head and stretched. Rubbing the small of his back and then his neck, Mulder made his way into the living room, only to find Scully sitting on the couch with Sarah curled up in her arms asleep. "Scully...what are you doing here?" "Sarah called me," replied Scully, looking up at her bleary eyed partner. "Why?" Mulder scratched his head and looked confused at the same time. His eyes fixed on Scully's attire – she was wearing her jeans, and a white lacy top he recognized as part of a pajama set. Along with her slightly mussed hair, her appearance gave the impression that she had dressed in somewhat of a hurry. "Mulder, what's the last thing you remember?" "Putting the milk on for Sarah's breakfast." Mulder took in Scully's penetrating gaze and the none too happy set of her mouth and he swallowed. "What happened, Scully? What did I do?" "You fell asleep. Sarah couldn't wake you, and she called me." Scully paused then added softly, "Mulder, she thought you were dead." "Oh God... Scully..." Mulder dropped his head into his hands and moaned audibly, the heavy yoke of guilt settling upon his shoulders. He perched on the arm of the couch and touched his daughter's hair. "Was she very upset?" "Yes, she was, but thank God you left my numbers by the phone so that she could contact me." "I left them there so that Sarah could call you in an emergency," said Mulder. "Well, Sarah obviously felt that thinking you were dead was an emergency," retorted Scully, a little more sharply than she'd intended. She sighed and pushed her hair behind her ear. "I want to take a look at you." "I'm fine, Scully. I fell asleep, that's all." "It's not all, Mulder. You keeled over and scared your daughter half to death. Now I am going to examine you whether you like it or not." With that, Scully carefully placed the sleeping Sarah on the couch then reached for her medical bag. First of all, she looked into his eyes again with the pen light. Everything looked perfectly normal. She carried on the exam by listening to his chest and taking his pulse. "What have you been doing, Mulder?" He shrugged as she went about the exam in her usual efficient way, gently pressing the glands in his neck and under his jaw for any sign of inflammation. "You know what I've been doing, Scully. I've been working my ass off with you on two back to back cases and when I'm not doing that, I'm taking care of Sarah." Mulder ran his hands over his face and sighed. "I'll be honest with you, Scully; it's a lot harder than I thought it would be. Don't get me wrong – I don't regret having Sarah with me; I wouldn't change a thing. I'm just so tired lately...I guess trying to be all things to all people is too much." That was some confession coming from Mulder, a man who would never reveal his feelings if he could help it. That he now felt he could was another positive consequence of Sarah's presence in and influence on his life. He had become a little softer around the edges – less abrasive and confrontational, although Mulder still didn't tolerate fools gladly. "Look, let me take Sarah home with me. She can stay for the rest of the weekend, and I'll bring her back tomorrow evening. That'll give you some time to rest." "I'm quite capable of looking after my own daughter, Scully," snapped Mulder. "I wasn't implying otherwise, Mulder," replied Scully evenly. "It's just that parents and children need a break from one another now and again. That doesn't mean you're a failure." She took his hand in hers. "Mulder, you've worked like a Trojan over the months since Sarah came to live here – I know it hasn't been easy for you, but you've done a magnificent job. She's happy, she's settled...now it's time to take a rest." "I hear you, Scully, but Sarah is my responsibility. Other than the times I have to go out of town, it's my duty to be with her. She needs me, Scully." "I know that, Mulder, but you're no good to Sarah in your present state. Look at you – you're exhausted. You've got plenty of vacation time owing so why don't you take a few days off next week?" "That's your expert medical opinion, is it? Scully, what with being out on the road, I haven't seen much of Sarah over the past few weeks. I feel guilty for not spending time with her, or being here when she needs me. I don't want to be an absent father – not any more. I've been there and done that. When I'm here, I want to be with Sarah. I want us to do things together, even if it means we just sit here and watch a video or read." "I understand that, Mulder, but you are exhausted - you need rest. Sarah will understand. You carry on as you are and you'll end up getting ratty with her and shouting at her. She doesn't need that after what's happened today. You scared the shit out of her, Mulder, and I don't want her to go through that again." "Believe me, Scully - I don't want to put Sarah through anything like this again, either." Mulder ran a hand through his hair. "I'll make it up to her in some way..." "That's all very well, Mulder," interjected Scully, "but you're avoiding the subject..." In a classic move designed to intimidate, Mulder stood to his full height, his arms crossed over his chest. "I tell you what, Scully – I'll spend the weekend with Sarah and I'll take some time off next week. How about that?" Scully eyed her partner skeptically. "You promise, Mulder? You promise to take some time off and use it to rest?" "I promise, Scully. Scout's honor." "You'd better mean that, Mulder." Mulder smiled. "Anyone would think you don't trust me, Scully." "When it comes to you taking care of yourself, I don't." Scully sighed. "Mulder, I worry about you. You're the worst patient a doctor could ever have." Mulder smirked. "I'll take that as a compliment, Scully." "This isn't funny, Mulder," snapped Scully. "You want me to be your personal physician but you don't want to take my advice when I give it. You've obviously run yourself ragged and I'm worried about the effect of this episode on Sarah. I'm asking you to think of her as well as yourself." That sobered Mulder. Sarah's welfare was his number one concern. "All right, Scully. You win. I'll take some time next week and I'll rest." "Good, now give me your arm." "What for?" "I want to draw some blood." "There's no need for that, Scully. I'm fine." "There's every need, Mulder." Scully outlined her suspicions about his health to her partner. "I want to make doubly sure that you 're okay. You know how debilitating mono can be, and I don't want you passing anything on to Sarah. Now give me your arm." "Scully... You know how much I hate needles..." "Oh for heaven's sake, Mulder." Scully was fast losing patience with her partner and she grabbed his wrist and set his arm in the correct position to draw blood. "Jesus! You don't have to be so rough, Scully," complained Mulder, as Scully expertly slid the needle into the vein in the crook of his arm. Mulder's yelp woke Sarah. As soon as she saw Scully taking blood from Mulder, the little girl became alarmed. "What are you doing, Dana? Why do you want Daddy's blood?" "I want to run a few tests to make sure that he's not sick." "But you told me Daddy would be all right. You promised, Dana." "I know, sweetie, and he is all right. I just want some of his blood to make doubly sure that he doesn't have any infections we don't know about." Scully deftly capped the little vial and removed the needle from Mulder's vein, quickly placing a small folded pad of gauze over the needle prick and covering it with a band aid. "There, you'll live," she said. "No thanks to your bedside manner," grouched Mulder. As Scully labelled Mulder's blood and tidied away her bag, Sarah was eyeing her father. "You scared me, Daddy. I thought you were dead," said the little girl quietly, and then she burst into tears. Mulder felt a huge stab of guilt in his heart for causing his daughter such distress. He reached forward and gathered Sarah into his arms, kissing her and petting her in an effort to soothe her. "Ssh, sshh...it's okay, sweetheart. I'm here. I'm here, baby." Mulder kissed Sarah again and her arms tightened around his neck. The little girl sobbed, then her sobbing turned to anger – anger born of fear. Pulling back slightly, and summoning up all her strength, Sarah punched her father on the shoulder. More blows rained down on him as Sarah vented all her suppressed fear and anger. Mulder felt wretched and knew that Sarah's reaction was nothing more than he deserved. He wrapped her in a bear hug and clutched her to him tightly, one hand on her back, the other tangled in her hair. Over and over again, like a mantra, he whispered, "I'm sorry." Sarah's sobbing gradually lessened and she gulped in lungfuls of air. Mulder squeezed his daughter gently and kissed her . "I'm sorry, sweetheart. I didn't mean to scare you." "Daddy, the milk was boiling over and I had to turn it off." Sarah's words were muffled as she mumbled against his neck. She looked up at her father through her long lashes, her velvet brown eyes red and puffy, and said in a hushed voice that wobbled a bit, "You're not angry with me for touching the stove, are you Daddy? I know you said I mustn't touch it." "No, I'm not angry with you, sweetheart. You had no choice. If you hadn't turned off the heat, there might have been a fire. You were very brave, Sarah." "I was afraid so I called Dana." "You did the right thing, Sarah. I'm very proud of you." Mulder looked to Scully, wanting unspoken confirmation that he was handling this in the right way. She nodded, and thinking this might be a good moment to let father and daughter be alone so that they could begin the healing together, Scully announced that she was going to take a shower. Mulder and Sarah remained wrapped together on the couch, Mulder stroking his daughter's back in long, rhythmic movements, just the way she liked it. No words were spoken, but Mulder was awash with guilt. Then he heard Sarah say in a barely audible voice, "I was so afraid, Daddy. I thought I would be all alone if you died. I don't want to be left on my own." "Oh Sarah..." Mulder tightened his hold on her and squeezed his eyes to stop the tears from falling. He should have known how badly Sarah would be affected by what had happened. The whole episode had the potential to set back by months all the progress she'd made. He fervently hoped that wasn't the case. "We've talked about this many times...if anything happened to me, you would go and live with Dana." "I know, Daddy. Me and Dana talked about it already." Mulder nodded, realizing that Sarah just wanted further confirmation of the arrangements her father had made with Scully. "I know that Dana would look after me, but I was still afraid." One valuable lesson Mulder had taught his daughter early on was that it was okay to be afraid, and perfectly fine to admit it. He gently cupped his little girl's face in his hands and said, "Sweetheart, I don't plan on going anywhere for a long, long time." "I'm glad, Daddy. I love you." "I love you too, Sarah. I love you very, very much." Scully's shower was a swift one. Afterwards she went to Sarah's closet and donned a pair of slacks and a sweatshirt from the small selection of clothes that she kept there for emergencies such as this. "That feels better," smiled Scully as she came back into the living room. Mulder and his daughter were still cuddled up together on the sofa. "I'll go put the kettle on. I think we could all do with a drink." Scully came back with three mugs of hot milky tea. She set the tray on Mulder's coffee table and sank into the armchair opposite the couch. "Thanks, Scully," he said warmly. Scully nodded. "Everything okay, Mulder?" He regarded his daughter, who was looking a little happier and relaxed than moments before. "I think so, Scully. We just need a little time." Mulder kissed Sarah again and said, "Sweetheart, why don't you wash your face over while you're waiting for your tea to cool down?" "Okay, Daddy." The little girl slid off his lap and padded to the bathroom. Scully had a suggestion to make. "Mulder, why don't you buy the microwaveable oats? They come in individual portions and Sarah could make them up herself. All she has to do is put the oats in a bowl, pour on the milk, and put the bowl in the microwave for a couple of minutes." Mulder nodded. "That's a good idea, Scully. I hadn't thought of that. Thanks." "You're welcome." Scully took a sip of tea from her mug. "Are you sure you don't want me to take Sarah for the rest of the weekend?" Mulder shook his head. "You saw how she reacted, Scully. You can ask her, but I think she'll say no. Given the scare Sarah's had today, I think she'll want to stay close to me. It's probably better that we spend the weekend together. I need to work quickly to make sure that Sarah doesn't regress to how she was after Annie died – as you said, she's come a long way and I don't want all that progress undone." Mulder looked down at his rapidly twiddling thumbs. "I've let her down, Scully...I need to regain her trust in me." Scully stood, then crossed the short distance to the couch. She sat down beside Mulder and took his hands in hers. She could see how anguished he was by the morning's events. "Don't beat yourself up over this, Mulder. It could have happened any time – in a way, it was inevitable. Sarah's arrival has meant a huge adjustment to all our lives, but I think it's a credit to you that we haven't had a disaster before now. I'm amazed at the way you've coped, Mulder – you've done yourself proud." "I couldn't have done it without you by my side, Scully. You've been a great support to me, and to Sarah. Your mom, too – she's been wonderful, taking Sarah to her heart the way she has. I owe you both so much." "Nonsense, Mulder – you don't owe us anything. We're glad to do it, if only for the privilege of knowing Sarah." Mulder slipped an arm around his partner, pulled her to him and kissed her. "I love you, Scully." "I love you too, Mulder." Another warm and loving kiss was exchanged. "Do you mind not spending the weekend with us, Scully?" Mulder asked when they broke apart. "Well, I don't think I can object, seeing as I've had you to myself for the past two weeks!" Scully grinned. "Anyway, I should probably pay Mom a visit tomorrow. Maybe I'll accompany her to Mass." "I'm sure she'll be pleased to see you, Scully." Further discussion was curtailed as Sarah rejoined her father and Scully on the couch. The little girl climbed into her father's lap and nestled in against his chest. "Feeling better, sweetheart?" asked Mulder, his arm enclosing her loosely. "Yes thank you, Daddy." "Sarah, Dana has something she wants to ask you." The child looked up at Scully. "Would you like to come and stay with me for the rest of the weekend, Sarah?" "Is Daddy coming too?" "No, sweetheart. I thought you might like to come and stay with me so that your daddy could have a good rest and catch up on his sleep." The little girl looked up at her father. "It's your decision, Sarah," said Mulder softly. "I want to stay with you, Daddy," replied Sarah, her arms going around him to emphasize the point. Scully smiled and touched the child's cheek. "That's okay, Sarah - I understand. Maybe we can all do something next weekend." "Sounds good, Scully," Mulder replied for both of them. "Well, I don't know about you two, but I'm starving. Who's for brunch?" Sarah declared her interest immediately. "You'll stay and eat with us, won't you, Scully? My treat." "I'd love to, Mulder." "I haven't had a chance to go to the supermarket, so we'll have to eat out. I'll go shower and dress – I can't have you two beautiful ladies outshining me, can I?" "Don't forget to shave, Daddy. Your face is all prickly!" added Sarah. "Yes, ma'am." Mulder executed a little bow then strode off, with a wiggle of his backside that made Sarah giggle. Before long, they heard him whistling in the shower. "How long will it take to test Daddy's blood?" asked Sarah. "When will you know if he's okay?" "I should have the results in a couple of days," answered Scully. "If Daddy's sick, you will tell me, won't you, Dana?" Sarah's tone was anxious. "If your dad is sick, then I promise I will come and tell you, okay?" Despite her ready promises, Scully was hoping that she wouldn't have to give Sarah bad news. She was still a little worried about Mulder's color and his slightly elevated temperature. "Okay, Dana." Scully let herself into Mulder's apartment, the envelope containing his test results nestling in her pocket. "Playing hooky, Scully?" Mulder's dulcet tones sent a shiver up her spine. Scully turned and saw her partner stretched out on the couch, an open book lying on his chest, his face covered by a broad smile. Scully returned the smile and approached him. "So to what do I owe the pleasure of this visit?" asked Mulder, swinging his long legs to the floor and standing. "I bring news," replied Scully, reaching into her pocket. She brandished the envelope and announced, "Your test results have come through." "Do tell, Scully. Do I have a clean bill of health?" Mulder reached for the envelope, but Scully whipped it behind her back. "Not so fast, Mulder. You'll know when Sarah knows. I promised her that I would tell her your results." "That's going a bit far, isn't it?" "I don't think it is, Mulder. Think of what Sarah went through with Annie – I can understand her being afraid that something might be wrong with you. I promised I would tell her the results and I will. At least it will put her mind at rest." "I guess you're right, Scully," agreed Mulder. "Sarah hasn't slept very well these last few nights." "Nightmares?" guessed Scully and Mulder nodded. He picked up his car keys. "Let's go tell her." Sarah was delighted to see her father and Scully waiting for her when school finished for the day. The little girl flew at them, trying to hug them both at the same time. Once they were all in the car, Scully produced Mulder's results. She opened the envelope, took out the sheet of paper and scanned the information on it. "Well?" demanded Mulder. "This is more suspenseful than Oscar night!" "I'm pleased to tell you that it's nothing that can't be cured. Apart from being a little anemic and generally rundown, you're fine." "What does 'anemic' mean?" asked Sarah, leaning into the space between the front seats. She had listened intently to Scully's report. "Is it dangerous? Will I catch it?" Scully smiled and ran the back of her hand over the child's cheek. "It's not dangerous and it's not catching, so you don't have to worry. When someone is anemic, it means that they don't have enough iron in their blood, and that can make them tired. It's easily treated by taking a supplement and eating foods that have iron in them." "So Daddy will have to take medicine?" "Just for a little while, until his iron levels are back to normal. I'll have to test his blood again in a few weeks to see how he's doing." Scully could almost see the wheels turning and the little girl's anxious expression relaxing as Sarah processed this information. "Is there anything else you'd like to know, sweetheart?" "I don't think so, Dana." "Okay. If you think of anything later, just ask." "Thank you." "You're welcome, Sarah." Scully smiled, then turned back to her partner. "What did I tell you, Scully? You were making a big fuss about nothing," said Mulder. Scully rolled her eyes. "How's my cholesterol? I assume you tested that too." "I did, Mulder, and despite what you eat sometimes, it's normal." Mulder grinned. "I feel the juiciest, greasiest cheeseburger and fries coming on." Scully rolled her eyes again. "I think we should have a celebration." "What are we celebrating, Daddy?" asked Sarah. "My clean bill of health. What do you say, Scully?" "I'm all for that, Mulder, as long as it's not at a greasy spoon." "Aw, Scully – you're no fun." Mulder smiled sideways at his partner and started the car. "So, what's it to be?" asked Mulder as he pulled away from the curb. "Pasta!" cried Sarah. "Scully?" "I could go for that." "Pasta it is, then." Mulder smiled. If only everything in life could be that simple. The End
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