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Title: Sarah 09. Seeds and Dreams Summary: Just another Saturday afternoon at the Mulder apartment. Saturday afternoon meant one thing - cleaning house. Mulder loathed it, but he'd become better at it since Sarah's arrival. At least he now had an incentive to keep the place looking decent - he never knew when she might bring home a school friend to visit. He didn't want the mothers of Sarah's friends to think that he couldn't look after her, or that she lived in some sort of hovel. He came through to the living room, a duster in one hand, vacuum cleaner in the other - Sarah was not there. He'd left her in charge of collecting up all the old newspapers and magazines and putting them into a bag, ready for recycling. When she finished that task, she had to plump the cushions on the couch, then stack the dirty dishes ready for washing. Mulder smiled, seeing the precision with which Sarah had arranged the newly plumped cushions. She executed her chores with the utmost perfection and when it came to tidiness, she left her father standing. He went to the kitchen, and halted in the doorway. The dishes were stacked in a neat pile, and there was Sarah, standing on her step and leaning across the sink, attempting to fill a glass with water. He watched for a moment as she wrestled with the tap. "Sarah, let me do that for you." He didn't want her to slip and hurt herself. "I can do it, Daddy." Sarah's tone was full of determination, and she wouldn't thank him for interfering. The water sprayed everywhere as she turned on the tap and it gushed out forcefully. She soon had the tap under control, and Mulder left her to it. Sarah knew where the cloth was - she would clean up the worst of the splashes. He headed back to the desk. There were a few papers that needed to be put away before he could clean. As he went to pick them up, his eye was caught by the bag of sunflower seeds that he had left by the computer the night before. Last night, when he had gone to bed, it had been three-quarters full. Now it was almost empty. Beside it was a saucer, containing a neat pile of sunflower seed husks. Mulder examined the packet as if it were a piece of evidence, then out of the corner of his eye, he saw movement. Sarah was watching him from the kitchen doorway, her head just peeking around the frame. "Who's been eating my sunflower seeds?" His voice boomed out like that of Father Bear in 'Goldilocks.' Mulder heard a muffled giggle come from the direction of the kitchen. He spun around quickly, his eyes wide, his expression attempting to be stern. Sarah was standing there, her small hands covering her mouth, trying to mask her giggles. She loved playing these games with her father. "Who's been eating my seeds?" His voice boomed out again. "Me!" cried Sarah, and this time the giggle escaped. The phantom sunflower seed eater was unmasked. She must have eaten them earlier while he was busy cleaning her room and the bathroom. "Hmm! You know what happens to little girls that eat their Daddy's sunflower seeds, don't you?" Sarah knew what was coming next, and she made a dash for her bedroom, but her father was too quick. He caught her, whisking her up into his arms. She giggled and wriggled, trying to escape the 'punishment' that she knew would be meted out. "No, Daddy!" Sarah cried out, but Mulder sat down on the couch and laid her carefully across his lap. Then he proceeded to tickle her - a little bit here, a little bit there. The sensitive spot just above her knees, her tummy, under her arms and behind her ears. Always gentle, never rough. All the while, Sarah laughed and squealed and shrieked with delight, but he made sure to stop while she was still enjoying it. Finally, Mulder pulled her up into his arms and cuddled her as she slowly caught her breath. "That's what happens to little girls that eat their Daddy's seeds!" he smiled, and he tapped her playfully on the end of her nose. Mulder left Sarah at the little kitchen table to finish her pecan cookies and milk, while he cleaned and vacuumed the living room. "There - all done!" Mulder threw the duster into one of the kitchen cupboards and the vacuum cleaner went into the small kitchen closet. "Have you finished your cookies and milk?" Sarah nodded, her mouth still full of the last of her cookie. She took her dirty plate and glass and put them on the counter with the others to be washed later, then went into the living room to join her father on the couch. She clambered up beside him. "Daddy, you're all hot!" She put her tiny hand on his forehead and found it damp. "I know - cleaning is hard work." He put his arms around Sarah, who had wormed her way into his lap. "Maybe we should get a cleaner." Then again, maybe not. Perverse though it was, Mulder liked the feeling of satisfaction he got from seeing the place looking good through his own efforts. They sat quietly together for a while. Sarah had her head against his chest and she could hear his heart beating. Mulder's hand caressed her hair as usual. She was such a funny little thing, he thought with a fond smile - one minute she was curled up against him, needing him close, still needing the reassurance that she wouldn't be left all alone, the next she was asserting her fledgling independence, eschewing all his offers of help. It hurt him, just a little, but he had to let her do things in her own way and for herself. "Can I play on the computer again, Daddy?" "Go on then," he smiled. "But no more than half an hour. You've already been on it for an hour today." He rationed her time at the computer - half an hour a day during the week, and one and a half hours at the weekend. He wanted to make sure that she had a variety of other pastimes to keep her occupied besides the computer. It was a useful tool, but so were reading and writing, and he encouraged her to read as much as she could, and she loved it. Sarah slipped from his lap and scampered off. She switched on the computer and loaded a CD into the rom drive. "Come and play the game with me, Daddy." Sarah waved her hand at him, beckoning him. He brought another chair in from the kitchen and sat beside her. Mulder wasn't watching the screen - he was watching her. Her gaze was intense as she concentrated on the game - the tip of her tongue captured between her full lips. What would the future bring for Sarah? This was the thought that often occupied him when sleep eluded him. She was very bright, blessed through a combination of her parents genes. College, definitely. A good career in whatever field she chose - at the moment, Sarah changed her mind weekly. One minute she wanted to be a doctor, the next an artist, or a dancer. Whatever her eventual career, Mulder was sure she would make a success of it. What came next? Marriage perhaps, and children of her own. These were the dreams that every parent had for their child, and Mulder was no exception. His mouth quirked up into a smile at the thought of himself as a grandfather - he thought he'd be rather good at it. "Why are you smiling, Daddy?" Sarah's head was on one side, and she regarded him inquisitively. "I was thinking about you, and what you'll be like when you're grown up." His hand ran lovingly over her dark tresses. "But Daddy, I don't want to grow up, 'cause then I won't be able to live with you anymore." "Sweetheart, you can live with me for as long as you want to." Mulder toyed with the few strands of hair that fell across her brow. "Can I live with you forever?" Mulder chuckled. "Forever is a long time, Sarah. Will you still want to live with me when I'm a grumpy old man without any teeth?" He made a gummy face at her. Sarah giggled at the picture her father painted. "You're funny, Daddy!" Mulder grinned and ruffled her hair affectionately. She would grow up so quickly - and it would be then that she would be most in need of some mature feminine guidance and advice. There were subjects that he as a father couldn't deal with, that he had no experience of. There would be boys, of course, and all the heartbreak that that entailed - Mulder's mouth turned down in disapproval at the very thought. He wanted the best for her, whatever it took, but more than anything, Mulder wanted Sarah to be happy. Of all his dreams for his daughter, her happiness was the most important. Sarah looked up at him, her little face radiant. "It's your turn, Daddy." She moved out of the way so that he could reach the mouse. "I'm not very good at this, am I?" Mulder winced at his pathetic score. He looked down at Sarah, then moved closer so that he could speak softly into her ear. "How about I take you out for pizza when we've finished the game?" Sarah's eyes lit up. "Can we have pepperoni and mushrooms?" "We can have whatever you want," chuckled her father. That night, as he tucked her up in bed, she looked up at him, her dark eyes serious. "Daddy?" "Yes, sweetheart?" "I'll still love you when you're old and grumpy and you have no teeth." Mulder's eyes filled with tears, and he leaned over to kiss her. He was lost for words, for once. Why had he ever worried that Sarah wouldn't love him? "Daddy?" "What is it, baby?" "Cuddle me and tell me the story." "Which story is that?" he asked, as he lay down on top of her covers and put his arm around her. "The one about you and me and Mommy." Sarah made herself comfortable against him. She hadn't asked for that story in a long time, Mulder reflected. He settled into a better position - Sarah's bed wasn't built for someone of his size - and began the story. "Once upon a time there was a beautiful baby girl. She had big brown eyes and dark brown hair..." It was the telephone that woke him. He sat up quickly, forgetting that he was lying on Sarah's bed, and hit his head on the bottom of the top bunk. His arm was numb from where it had been wrapped around his daughter, and his knees were stiff from being bent to accommodate his long frame on the little bed. Extricating himself as quickly and as carefully as he could, he hobbled into the living room and picked up the phone. "Mulder." "Hi, it's me." He smiled at the sound of Scully's voice. "You okay, Mulder? You sound a bit odd." "Well, apart from nearly knocking myself out, my arm feeling like it's been cut off and my knees feeling like those of a hundred year old, I'm fine." He cradled the handset in the crook of his neck, not knowing which afflicted part of his body to rub first. "Sorry Mulder, you've lost me." "I was lying on Sarah's bed while telling her the bedtime story and I must have fallen asleep." He heard Scully chuckle. "I'm sorry I woke you. I won't keep you long - I was just going to ask what time you wanted me to come over tomorrow." "Is eleven too early? The weather outlook is good, so I thought maybe we could head on out to one of the little towns on the Bay. It'll make a nice change for Sarah... do her good to get out of town for a while. We can find a waterfront restaurant, take a walk along the beach... is that okay?" "Sounds good to me." A pause. "Well, I'll let you go. Sweet dreams, Mulder." "Yeah - you too, Scully. See you tomorrow." He replaced the handset, then went back into the bedroom to check on Sarah. She was fast asleep, a slight smile gracing her slumbering features. He leaned in and touched his lips to her brow. "Goodnight sweetheart. I love you." He watched her for a few moments, then left her, making his way out to the couch, where he settled down to dream his own dreams. The End
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