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Title: Rescue Mission 5: At Ease This is the last story in the Rescue Mission series. Reading the others first would be a good thing. They can be found atRescue Mission series page Author's note: Eternal gratitude to mountainphile for outstanding beta. Special thanks to Brenda, whose e-mail got me back on track. Summary: Mulder's first time in the field since the baby's birth has him reexamining his priorities... and missing his girls. I'm just going through the motions here. I know it. Shit, even Doggett knows it. Hopefully, nobody else does. Not yet, anyway. We're in Charleston, South Carolina, investigating a number of sightings of a Bigfoot-like forest creature. We've only been here two days, and already I want to get back home. Doggett believes the sightings are a college prank, since they were all reported during Hell Week at The Citadel. Honestly, I agree with him. And not because I want to go home, either. Well, not *just* because of that. This is the first time I've been out in the field since the baby was born. A little girl. Our daughter. Grace Hope Mulder. Yeah, I know. There are moments when I wonder how I let myself be talked into that. But when I think about everything we've been through, all of us... it fits. Okay, so I'm getting sentimental in my old age. So sue me. "Agent Mulder?" Doggett's voice startles me, and I glance over at him. "You okay?" We've just completed a couple of interviews at the school and are on our way back to the motel. Doggett's driving, thank God -- I'm way too distracted, completely lost in my own thoughts. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine, I'm just... thinkin'." A tiny smile crosses his face. "It's hard being away from 'em, especially when they're little like that." "I'm that transparent, huh?" "Nah. I just recognize the symptoms." I give him a questioning look. "New Daddy Syndrome." I nod and smile, then turn back to staring out the window at nothing. At the pictures in my mind of Scully and Grace, the morning I left for Charleston. I was thrilled when Scully suggested she and Grace see me off -- I'd wanted to ask, but I didn't want to seem too... needy. They took me to the airport, but the noise was too much for Grace and she started to cry. Scully couldn't calm her and the cries made her breast milk let down -- it amazes me that Grace's cries can affect Scully's body that way, that their bond is so strong. Scully knew she was upset, not hungry, so she handed Grace to me and ducked into the ladies room to clean up. With my baby girl cradled against my chest, I rocked her and whispered to her and kissed her soft hair... Before too long, she quieted and fell asleep. When Scully came back a few minutes later, she smiled and kissed me. "You've got the touch." I returned her smile and moved to hand Grace back to her, but she shook her head. "You hold her until they call your flight." I held her a little tighter, and Scully put her arms around us both. "I know, Mulder," she whispered. "I know I have to go, I just... I don't want to miss anything." I looked into Scully's eyes, moving my hand from Grace's hair to her mother's. "I've missed so much already." "You have your cell phone, right?" I chuckled softly, remembering something she said to me once about what might happen if I didn't. "We can talk every hour, if you want. And we've got that digital video camera the guys gave us." I nodded again and pulled her close. We stood there together for what seemed like forever, then Scully pulled away a couple of steps, looking off past me. "Agent Doggett," she called out softly. She's still skittish about being demonstrative in front of him -- she doesn't have that problem with Skinner, and I think the nature of our relationship is pretty clear to Doggett, but I respect her wishes. "Look who's here." His booming voice floated toward us, and Grace stirred a little. I turned so he could see her. "And you brought Gracie," he said more quietly, and I tried not to cringe visibly at the nickname. "Yeah, my girls decided to see me off," I chanced a look at Scully with that, but she just smiled indulgently. Just then our flight was called, and Doggett excused himself to get in line at the gate. Scully watched him go, then stepped closer to me. I turned us so that my back was to Doggett, giving Scully the privacy she wanted -- we both wanted -- for our goodbyes. She stretched up and kissed me lightly, then laid a hand on Grace's back. I pressed my lips to the baby's forehead, squeezing my eyes shut. "Bye-bye, Grace... Daddy loves you..." I reluctantly handed her to Scully, who put her in the carrier and turned back to me. I kissed her again -- a slow, romantic kiss this time, one that Scully gave herself over to in spite of the fact that Doggett was only a few yards away -- then picked up my bag and joined Doggett in line. To his credit, he didn't say a word until we got to Charleston. I had no idea this would be so hard. It's as if I left a part of me back in Georgetown. We get back to our motel room -- Bureau policy, same-sex agents share a double room in the field -- and all I want to do is call home. I talked to Scully around lunch time, but that was hours ago. Doggett orders us a pizza and hits the shower while I make my call. She picks up on the second ring. "You're late." I smile and kick off my shoes. "Long afternoon interviewing brain-dead college boys. A long, lonely afternoon." "You have Agent Doggett to keep you company." "He's too tall for me." I lower my voice, try to sound sexy. "You know I'm partial to short redheads." I can almost hear her eyebrow rising. I try to deflect her. "How was your day?" "Good," she tells me, and I hear splashing in the background. I smile, realizing I made it for bath time. "We went visiting." "Yeah?" I stretch out on my bed, listening to Scully give Grace her bath. "Where'd you go?" "We went to the Hoover Building to see Uncle Walter..." I can't help laughing -- Skinner's a cream puff around Grace. The perfect godfather to our little girl. "...then we braved the inner sanctum of the Lone Gunmen..." "You didn't." I'm genuinely surprised. Scully likes the Gunmen, and they were devoted to her while I was missing, but I never thought she'd actually take Grace to see them. "Yes we did, didn't we, sweetie?" Her voice takes on that soft tone she uses with Grace -- we have a No Baby Talk rule, but neither of us can help getting all mushy-sounding when we talk to her. The baby gurgles, and suddenly it hits me. "Scully... I can *hear* her." "Another present from the guys. Telephone headset. The mic's really sensitive." "Wow." I'm stunned. Every time I think I have those three pegged... "They adore Grace, Mulder, you know that. They'd do anything for her." "I know." I do. And not for the first time, I wonder if we shouldn't have given Grace four godfathers. "Where'd you go next?" I hear more splashing, and Scully giggles -- she's been doing that a lot lately. "We went to see Grandma." Grandma. Mrs. Scully is the sort of doting grandmother I know my own mom could have never been. Loving and attentive, willing to help but letting us be Grace's parents. My mother wouldn't have wanted to hold her for fear of getting spit-up on her designer sportswear. No, that's not fair. I don't know what kind of grandmother she would've been. She never got the chance. I shake that off at the sound of Scully's voice -- and Doggett's emergence from the bathroom. "Mulder? You still with us?" "Yeah, I'm here. How's Grandma?" "She's wonderful, incredibly happy." I hear her lift Grace from the bath, and the phone signal fades a bit as they move around the bedroom. I'm loving this, that I can listen to their bedtime ritual. I'll have to remember to thank the guys. "She got to spend the whole afternoon with her adorable granddaughter." "All afternoon?" "Mm-hmm, she took care of Grace while I went to the doctor." I sit up straight at that. "That was today?" Doggett gives me a look, but I turn away from him. "Yes, that was today." Her six-weeks-after check-up. Six weeks. Oh, Scully... My voice drops to just above a whisper. "What did the doctor say?" "That I'm in perfect health. That I've completely recovered from giving birth. That it's okay to resume our... normal activities." Normal activities. We've only made love twice since I came home, then Scully's doctor declared sex off-limits two weeks before Grace was born. It's been a very *long* few months. I'm not sure our sex life can be considered normal, but I'm quite anxious to resume it. "When are you coming home?" Whoa. Gone is her Baby Voice -- this is her Sex Kitten Voice. The voice I waited nearly seven years to hear. The voice that makes me crazy. I glance back at Doggett just as there's a knock at the door -- pizza. He goes to pay for our dinner and I take advantage of his distraction -- yeah, he's been listening -- to see if my own Sexy Voice still works. "I can be on the next plane." "Mul-der-r-r..." I love it when she drags out that last syllable. "When are you wrapping up the case?" "Tomorrow. It's just a Hell Week prank, we're handing it off to the locals tomorrow." "Can't wait," she tells me in a breathy murmur. I make sure Doggett's still dealing with the pizza guy, then I whisper to Scully, "Miss you." "Miss you, too." The door closes and I know I have to hang up. "Hey, Scully, I've gotta go -- Agent Doggett's out of the shower and he's just standing there, wearing a towel and a smile..." Scully giggles again as Doggett, fully but casually dressed, gives me a glare and a one-fingered salute. "He says hi, by the way." "Say hello for me." We're stalling, both of us, and we know it. God, we sound like high-school sweethearts stealing a few minutes of phone time on a school night. One of us has to break the stalemate, so... "Give Grace a kiss from Daddy." "Check your e-mail before you go to bed." "Should I do that when I'm alone?" "Yes... but not for the reason you're thinking." "Scully, how would you know what I'm thinking?" "Mulder." That's all she needs to say. "See you tomorrow." We hang up, and I sit staring at the phone for a moment. I'm certain there's an incredibly silly grin on my face. "How's Agent Scully?" Finally I turn back to Doggett. He's already digging into the pizza and reviewing the case file again. I join him at the table and open the box -- pepperoni and sausage. Seems strange to eat a pizza that's not half-veggie. "She's good. She says hello." He nods, mouth full, and asks, "How's Gracie?" I feel that silly grin coming back. "She was giving her a bath." "Hmm." I look over at him, and I'm stunned to see my own silly grin reflected back at me. "She let you do that yet?" "Oh yeah, I do all that Dad stuff. Baths, diapers, three a.m. crying jags..." We share a laugh, and I remember... "The first time... God, I was nervous. She's so tiny, so fragile. But she looked up at me... I know they say newborns can't see faces too clearly, but I... she looked at me and I could tell. She trusted me. She knew me, knew I wouldn't let anything happen to her." "Don't let anybody tell you they don't know, Agent Mulder. They know." Doggett turns his attention to the case file, but I know he's thinking about his son. Scully told me he had a son who'd been killed, but she didn't know the details and he never volunteered any information. We eat in silence for a while, him flipping the pages of the file. After a few moments he tosses it aside. "Sorry 'bout this." "Wasn't your idea to come down here." "Still... we coulda done this one from home. Didn't have to drag you away from Grace," he gets quiet again, and I almost miss his next words. "Time with her now... it's important." I don't say anything. I think he needs to talk. "I had a son. Luke. I was with the NYPD when he was born. Working double shifts, extra duty, trying to move up..," he picks at the last slice of pizza, then shoves it away. "...trying to build us a life. That's why I joined the Bureau, to make things better. I wasn't home much." He stands, begins to clear the table. I watch him silently, noticing that he hasn't looked at me since he picked up that file. The table cleared and pizza box disposed of, Doggett goes to the dresser where we've both left our weapons, badges, and wallets. He takes something out of his wallet and stares at it for a long moment, then holds it out toward me. I join him and take it -- a photo of a little boy, crew cut, gap-toothed smile... "He's got your ears." Doggett chuckles and glances at me. "Grace has your nose." "Guess that's how we know they're ours, huh?" He nods and takes the photo, touches it gently. "Not just that," he puts the picture away, then picks up the case file again. "You want to do this report, or should I?" The change in subject, in his mood, surprises me. I guess he doesn't want to talk any more. "I'll do it," I tell him and take the file. I unpack the laptop and set it up while Doggett turns on the TV. He surfs until he finds SportsCenter, then lays down and snaps off the lamp between our beds. I'm deep into the report when I hear Doggett's voice over the low buzz of the TV. "Agent Mulder." I look over at him -- he's still staring at the television, but I don't think he's seeing it right now. "I lost Luke before I really got a chance to know him. If I had it to do over again..," he trails off, then turns to face me. "You have opportunities I didn't. You oughta take advantage of them." I get it now, what he's been trying to say without saying it. For a long time, there've been only two things that have mattered in my life -- Scully and the X-Files. Now... it's Scully and Grace that are the most important. There's still work to be done -- I need to know what happened to me, who took me and why -- but I've come to realize that I don't have to do it all, and I don't have to do it alone. "I've been thinking, Agent Doggett... the Bureau's Family Leave policy allows fathers to take time off to be with a new baby, just like mothers. Scully's taking another six weeks of maternity leave... I think, when she comes back to work, I'm gonna take some time myself." I can just make out his slight grin in the glow of the TV. "So I'd be looking at another four, five months working on the X-files?" I return the grin. Can it be that he actually *likes* working on the X-Files? "Think you can handle it?" "Long as Agent Scully doesn't drag me off on another bogus Bigfoot sighting." "I think you're pretty safe there." Doggett gives me another grin, then turns back to the TV. SportsCenter's over, and he's surfing again. I don't pay much attention to where he stops -- I have to check my e-mail. There's nothing from Scully in my FBI in-box, so I check my personal account and find a new message for Spooky1013 from Starbuck64, with an mpeg file attached. I download it and read the message -- "We miss you -- Love, S. and G." I turn the volume down and play the video file -- a record of their travels today. Visiting with Uncle Walter, who's every bit as goofy with Grace as I expected; with the Gunmen, who are even more goofy than Skinner; with Mrs. Scully, who's goofy in a very grandmotherly way. Hell, *I'm* goofy with my daughter -- why should I expect anybody else to behave differently? The last bit on the video surprises me -- Scully sitting in the bentwood rocker in our bedroom, Grace at her breast. She's humming softly, her fingers trailing over the baby's head, her face... After a minute or two, Scully looks up into the camera and smiles. "I know how much you like to be here when I feed her," she says. "Mulder, I wish... I wish you could feel what I feel when we're like this... it's the most amazing thing..." She looks down at Grace again. "*She's* the most amazing..." I'm captivated by the scene playing out on the monitor, by the intimacy of what I'm watching. After another long moment, Scully looks up at me again. "We love you. Hurry home." I love you both, too. I'll be home soon. End
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