Title: Miracle Summary: Mulder reflects on his life with Scully and the anticipation for the arrival of their child
Summary: Mulder reflects on his life with Scully and the anticipation for the arrival of their child
I can't believe how lucky I am to have experienced a miracle such as this after everything we've been through these past seven years. As I look around, I can see the life we set up for ourselves. The whitewashed walls of the apartment that we bought when we first moved in with each other a year ago are covered with a mix of me and her. Her photos of family and friends mix with my UFO sighting photos and Deep Space Nine memorabilia. The smell of the chicken she's making for our dinner wafts from the kitchen. It seems so wonderful just to be spending an evening at home with the love of my life. I mean after all, it wasn't so long ago that Scully was fighting for her life.
Scully and I were partners. No, we were more than that. We were best friends, soul mates. But things had to change. After finding that Scully was cured and her cancer had gone away, I seriously considered leaving her. I wanted her to be safe but I couldn't seem to do it, to go where my mind was telling me, to do what I thought needed to be done. I couldn't leave her, though; I couldn't leave her so she'd be safe. My heart wouldn't let me.
Instead, it forced me to tell her, tell her how I'd always felt, how I'd always feel about her and pray she wouldn't laugh in my face.
It was like everything had led up to that very moment, all of the touches and the talk and the knowing little looks. I'd told her I loved her once before but I'm sure she thought I was delusional and not in the right state of mind. I've held her so many times, just trying to comfort her. Two times stick out clearest in my mind, after my next-door neighbor's book came to life and tried to kill her and after a hair and nail fetishist kidnapped her and was going to kill her for her hair and nails. We even shared a kiss before, just a light peck on New Years Eve.
The night I told her, we were at my apartment enjoying a bottle of Merlot and Italian take-out. She was starting to get a little giggly when I decided to tell her, in fear that if she had anymore wine, she wouldn't remember what I was about to say.
"I love you, Scully," I told her. "I've loved you since... Well, I can't really pinpoint a time because I think I've loved you forever. I know that I don't deserve you in anyway but I needed to tell you."
She looked at me like I was crazy. Then her face softened to a tender smile as she reached for my hand.
"Mulder," she began. "I love you too. How could you think that I don't?"
I shrugged and looked at my lap, not sure what to say. I couldn't believe it. It was the most wonderful feeling I could imagine at the time to not only know that I loved her but she loved me back. She kissed my forehead softly, in the way she had done before in the hallway of my apartment only more tenderly, more lovingly.
I was ecstatic. She really loved me? I couldn't believe it but where would we go from there?
At first, it was difficult for us to make the transition from friends to lovers. It took quite a few tries over a period of months before we got over the awkwardness enough to make it into the bedroom. After a while, she took the lead, simply pushing me along gently with her, gradually coaxing the shyness out of both of us.
When the awkwardness was finally over, we realized exactly how deep our feelings ran, right through our souls, our very existence. And one day, I realized I'd give anything for her, just a moment with her. I'd throw my life away just so I could see her face for one more second and tell her I loved her.
That's how I knew it was time, time to ask her to make the commitment, to marry me and give me the greatest honor I could ever imagine. Her yes was the greatest gift she could ever give me. I know she loves me but I can't figure out why because I am so undeserving of her.
We were married three months ago in a tiny chapel in North Carolina with just a few close friends and family members. It was beautiful and I still get chills whenever I think about Scully walking toward me that day, how beautiful she looked and all of the love I saw in her face, love for me.
Now the impossible has happened. Scully is pregnant. We thought that she was barren, unable to conceive a child after being abducted so many years ago. I couldn't believe it at first that we were actually having a child, our little miracle.
This child has no idea how special it is, how many hopes and dreams it's filling how. We're already thinking of names. If it's a boy, we're going to call him William. If it's a girl, she'll be called Samantha.
Somehow it just seems right to name our child after my sister. My emotions are mixed but I know it's right. I can go from happiness that Samantha will get a chance to live again through my child and yet sad that she will never get a chance to live for herself.
"Dinner's almost ready," Scully tells me as she walks over to me. She sits on the couch next to me. "What are you thinking about?"
I smile. "Just our little miracle."
Tenderly, I rub her stomach and lay a gentle kiss just above her bellybutton as she runs her fingers ever so softly through my hair.
"I love you, Sweetheart," I tell her.
"I love you too, Mulder," she replies. "Now come on, dinner's ready."
Notes: Thanks to Anne V for giving me all the advice. It definitely wouldn't have turned out half as good without you. Also: Thanks to Sarah and TotalBlonde (I forget your real name)
I do not own the X-Files. If I did, Mulder and Scully would be together by the second season.