Story: A Mother's Care
Time Frame: Season 9, six months after William is born.
Disclaimer: I do not own the X-Files. This is written for fun not profit.
Summary: William is six months old. This is Scully's feelings during this period while she cares for him alone. She turns to two people for comfort.
Scully watched his reactions as she held up her baby high above her head as William blew raspberries and hissed and giggled. She smiled at him as her heart soared full of pride just as she still did whenever she still pulled out the only photo she had of Emily. William was six months old and growing so fast she couldn't believe how much time was flying. She placed the baby back onto her lap and touched his sweet chubby cheek, rubbing her finger across the doughy face. His blue eyes were wide and glowing, just like hers. William looked so much like her. Everyone told her that wherever she and William went. She stared at the soft tendrils of blondish hair that was giving way to a red tint. She had wished his hair would be brown like Mulder's but obviously that wish would not come true. He was a typical Scully child...who was a Mulder, she thought to herself. William gave her a deep stare that brought her out of her reverie. It was a stare that was clearly his father's stare. It made her smile but it also made her heart ache deeply. As if William knew what she was thinking, William smiled a curved smile just like Mulder. "You're becoming your father every day," she sighed.
Scully placed baby William down into the small play pin she had pulled up to the sofa so she could continue to touch her son and stare at him with wonder. He was their miracle child, an extraordinary child but she didn't want to dwell on that. William's attention turned suddenly to the door as he sucked on his pacifier. Scully looked perplexed as she watched her sons rigid frame as he stared blankly at the door. He then turned toward her and pulled out the pacifier and smiled a wide smile. Her face softened as she stared at her baby, her little man. The door bell rung making Scully jump. She walked over to the door and grabbed one of her guns which she had stashed in a table near the door, it a necessity she had learned since Williams birth. She peeked out the front door but then smiled. She swung the door open.
"Dana!", Maggie said, opening her arms wide despite the numerous bags in each hand.
"Mom...I didn't know you were in town."
"I came to see my daughter and my grandson," she said, breathlessly as she walked over to the couch, placing the bags down carefully.
She reached out her arms and William held up his hands to be picked up. She layered his chubby cheeks with kisses. "Willy...what have you been doing?", she said, in baby speak. "You been good for you're mom?"
"Oh no...He just got back from running off with a motorcycle gang," Scully joked, dryly.
Maggie sat down with the baby in her arms. "I love coming for these visits...I feel so far away in Boston..."
"You're thinking of moving?", Scully said, arching her eyebrows.
"You could move there," Maggie said, arching her own. "That way I can see Willy all the time..."
"You know I can't," Scully said, her head dropping down to her chin. "I can't leave my students at Quantico and there's other reasons," she said, looking back to lock eyes with her mother.
She could tell that Maggie understood. "I brought gifts...", she said, excitedly as William traced her chin with his stubby fingers.
Scully smiled back and then reached for all five bags. She pulled out a few outfits. "Mom," Scully whined. "He has a closet full of clothes he hasn't worn yet...This kid is spoiled already. Jill and Tara sent the boy's old clothes and you won't stop buying them."
"Neither will you...", Maggie said pointedly.
Scully shrugged. She liked to indulge him after all he was her miracle. Scully rustled through the bags as Maggie cooed in baby talk to her daughter."Keep looking..."
Wordlessly Scully moved on to the other bags. It held diapers, another new set of cloth baby books, and stuffed animals. She was already thinking about renting a storage locker for the stuff he had as a newborn or she could give it away, she wasn't sure if she were ready to part with his things just yet but her apartment was quickly filling up. William grabbed a stuffed bear out of his mother's hands and shook it. To Scully's surprise it had a rattle inside. He smiled and shook it rigorously as he broke out into coo's, bringing smiles to both his mom and his grandmother.
"Every time I look at him, I see you again as a baby...", Maggie said in wonderment. "The Scully genes are strong," she said in a whisper.
"He has a lot of Mulder's traits...", Scully interjected. "But yes, he looks quite a lot like me...just as Emily did..."
Maggie turned to look at Scully. "I didn't mean to make you sad..."
"It's too late," Scully huffed. "Moments like this I can do nothing but think of them..."
Maggie could see the tears she was trying to control that had crept to the corner of her eyes. She needed to keep her daughter's mind on other things. "The last bag...Open it..."
Scully pulled out two salads and a jar of baby food. Scully smiled and then glanced over to William. "He'll certainly get hungry as soon as he sees us eating..."
"I've had four, remember!", Maggie said softly. "If he's anything like his uncles...If he's anything like his father...He's gonna be tall with a healthy appetite."
"Who doesn't have a good appetite when you're cooking?", Scully smiled. "Thank God I cook like you."
"You'll need it. Boys will eat you out of house and home."
After they'd fed William, they let him play in his play-pin as they ate their salads. Scully then picked the baby up and started sniffing his head as she held him, waiting on him to burp into his bib as she gently patted his back.
Maggie watched them curiously. "I used to sniff your head," she laughed. "Its a mom thing..."
Scully looked surprised. "I didn't realized I was doing it."
"You always smelled so clean...at first it was the newborn smell and then it was the shampoo. I think most of us do that," Maggie chuckled.
Scully laid William down in the play-pin and put a blanket over him as he closed his eyes for a nap. They then sat back on the sofa. Maggie placed her worn but firm hands over her daughters hands.
"William's hair," Scully laughed as she shook her head. "He smells like coconut...An organic coconut baby shampoo. It's similar to the kind I used to use using when Mulder and I were just partners..."
Maggie waited patiently listening to the laughter that was bubbling up from within Scully, a rare treat. "I remember...", Scully continued. "When I first started using it...I couldn't figure out why Mulder kept invading my space...", she said, with a smile. "I mean he always invaded my space...Later I found out that he was attracted to me from day one just as I was..."
"I knew it," Maggie said, quietly.
"He just kept coming over to me while we sat on the couch, he kept leaning in...in a way that only he can and he kept putting his face so close to mine I could've kissed him if I wanted...", she said and then stopped. Her face turned a pale pink as she confessed to her mother.
Maggie was smiling and then squeezed her hand encouraging Dana to speak. "It wasn't until one day when he was sick here and I found him sniffing my bottles in my bathroom did I figure it out. He later told me he always sniffed me. He'd always memorize each change of scent from whatever I would try. He knew my perfumes, he knew my shampoos, he knew my body washes...", she smiled. "Just as I knew all the same things about him..."
Maggie placed another hand on top of Scully's. "You miss him, don't you?"
Scully's smile faded and her eyes began to tear up. She knew that she could cry in front of her mother. There had been only three people that she let her guard down too. Her mother, Missy and then finally Mulder. And since the pregnancy, Scully had found it difficult to keep her emotions in check the way she once had. The Stoic Scully, the Ice Queen had melted away years before when she realized how much she loved Mulder and then after they'd consummated their relationship, she had no longer felt the need to hide herself away from him. She felt his comfort when she let him in. But the pregnancy had been her emotional unraveling. Now she was bare, her tears, her emotions; it was a both blessing and a curse to be so exposed.
"I miss him so much," she said, as tears rolled down her cheeks.
"He's coming back...as soon as it's safe...", Maggie said, enveloping her into her arms.
Scully looked down at the baby who'd awakened and sat himself up, staring up at her. She could see he was tearful as well. "William needs his father," she said, softly as she picked him up, trying to calm him before he broke out into tears. He was obviously reacting to her own tears; the bond of mother and child was so strong. "I need Mulder too, " she said, barely audible. "I lost him once...then to lose him again..."
"He'll be back," Maggie said, trying to reassure her.
"I know...but a part of my heart is gone," she said, as fresh tears traced down her chin.
William instantly reacted and let out a piercing scream. Maggie lifted him up out of Scully's arms and began to sing to him which quieted him down. "It's okay, Willy," Maggie said in a sing-song-voice. "Mommy's okay...Mommy has you..."
William sniffled, his eyes on his mother. He was pinning her with a soulful sorrowful look that was nearly too much for her to take because it was Mulder's look. She swallowed her tears. "Mommy's okay, William...Mommy's fine...", she said, touching his hand. She picked up his pacifer and placed it in her mouth, 'cleaning it', the way mom's do and put it in his.
"And you're a doctor," Maggie said in a mocking tone, raising a brow.
Scully smiled shyly. "I'm too lazy to get up right now," she said, as she noticed the stiffness in her body. She was putting on a brave face for William and her mother but her body knew better.
Maggie stood up and headed for the kitchen. "Anything to drink?"
"Yes there's...," Scully suddenly paused. "There's ice tea."
Maggie opened the fridge and poured two glasses and returned to her daughter's side. "Both Charles and Bill were asking about you..."
"I'm sure...", she said rolling her eyes.
"Charles wants to fly out to come see his nephew."
"I betcha Bill hasn't said anything like that..."
"He's too angry," Maggie stated. "He thinks Fox abandoned you..."
"Mom, you know as well as I did what all that's happened...He thought if he wasn't around for awhile they'd leave me and the baby alone...Skinner was told so by Krychek..."
Maggie waited for an explanation but Scully just waved her hand. "Never mind...The point is that they said his life was in danger if he stayed. It was the most difficult thing he's ever had to do...He didn't want to leave his son...", she said, glancing down at the baby in the play-pin who had managed to fall back to sleep. "And he certainly didn't want to leave me. He sends me emails telling me so...I'm the one that tells him not yet...its not safe to come back yet. He doesn't know how long he can take it out there alone...without us."
"You have to see it from your brother's point of view...", Maggie sighed. "It took him years to accept that you two had feelings for each other even when you didn't know it yourselves..."
Scully shook her head. "I can't talk about this anymore..."
The doorbell rang and Scully looked down at William who was still sleeping peacefully and then over to her mother. She quickly grabbed her gun out of the drawer near the door and then peeked through the keyhole. "It's Monica...", Scully said surprised.
Maggie stood up. "I think there are times when a good friend is what you need to talk too," she said, wrapping her arms around her daughter's shoulder. "I'll see you Tuesday for lunch or call me anytime to babysit. Bye Willy..."
William didn't stir a bit as he slept on. Scully swung the door open and Monica stepped back. "Mrs. Scully!", she said, surprised. "Is Dana here?"
Scully peeked out from behind the door. Maggie smiled at Monica. "I'm just leaving...", Maggie said, as she walked on down the hall.
Scully opened the door widely inviting Monica in. "I didn't expect to see you."
"John and I were just working on a case. But that's not why I stopped over," Monica said, making a beeline for the couch. "I had a feeling you needed someone to talk too."
Scully sank down onto the couch cushions. "I love my mom but there's only so much she can handle," she smirked. "I can't tell her that her grandson has alien DNA intermixed with Mulder's and myself. I took the blood test, he's absolutely our child. But I can't tell her that he knows things...That he can move objects and that I'm worried for my son in a way that most mother's aren't..."
"That would be hard for someone to comprehend...", Monica added.
"Look at how well I've protected him so far," she huffed. "Mulder would never let anything happen to us...He'd die first," she sighed. "How do I protect our son without him?"
Monica touched her shoulder. "John and I will be here to help until it's time for Mulder to come back and even after that we have your back..."
"I miss him," Scully said, as a tear trickled down her face.
Just then William, asleep, began to whimper. Scully grabbed him up and he stuck out his bottom lip in a pout just like Mulder. Scully chuckled out-loud which lit William's chubby cheeks and he began to smile.
"He's so in tune to you...", Monica said in wonderment.
"I've noticed that...When I cry, he cries...When I wish I could see Mulder's smile, he makes his smile...It's like he is tapping into my memories..."
"You think so?", Monica said, intrigued.
"Mulder would say absolutely! He'd say that there is a psychic connection between family members, especially mother and child..."
"Like how I know one of my brother's is about to call me...", Reyes added.
"You have brothers?"
Reyes chuckled. "Its unusual for a Mexican family not to have more than one or two..."
"Oh, like an Irish family," Scully smiled. "But not in this Irish/Jewish Family," she said in William's ear.
"I have four brothers...I was the only girl. Most of them stayed in Mexico City while I moved to the states..."
"Agh," Scully nodded.
"But that would be incredible if William is tapping into your memories, that goes beyond the psychic family bond."
"I know...", she agreed.
Just then William turned and lifted up his arms to be held by Monica. Scully reliniquished her child. "I want one of these...before it's too late," Monica said in a whisper.
"Its not too late..."
"First you need a man...", Monica informed her.
"What about Doggett?", Scully said, raising a brow.
"The one that's slowly getting over being in love with you...", Monica said, with a smirk.
Scully's eyes dropped down to her lap. Monica laughed a little. "Sometimes I think there's hope with John...I've crushed on him for years...Even when I was involved with A.D. Folmer. The question is...can he think of me the way I think of him?"
Scully shook her head. "Don't wait too long. God if I had've known how much time we wasted...I would've snooked Mulder on the first day...", she chuckled.
"Oh My God!", Reyes responded.
"Then again taking it slow...very slow and easy is what built up our trust and love for eachother. But almost seven years working and dreaming about the man next to you almost everyday...all day long...I'm surprised I made it that long without giving in."
Monica smiled. "I have you beat...Of course I didn't see John everyday..."
"It was tough!", Scully sighed. "VERY tough..."
William grasped Monica's cheeks with his chubby hands and brought her face close to his so they were eye to eye. He stared into her eyes in a way that made Monica a little uncomfortable. He finally pulled back and then reached for his mommy, cooing the entire time. Monica was a little shaken. Scully hadn't noticed.
"He has potential for both," Monica said in a hushed tone.
"To work with them or work with us...They know this...He knows this...", she said, glancing back at William. Scully could see a slight amount of fear in Monica's face but it faded quickly.
"What just happened?", Scully said, looking from the baby to Monica whom she trusted without question.
Monica shrugged. "Nothing...I'm just rambling...You got anything to drink?"
"In the cupboard," she said, looking at Monica curiously.
Monica grabbed a glass and poured half a cup of ice tea that was left out on the counter and then filled the other half up with bourbon. She sat back down and gulped down the liquid. "Ummm...good..."
Scully glanced from William to Monica but William had moved on to Scully's cheek, blowing wet slobbering kisses amongst her cheekbone. Scully smiled and then returned the kiss to her son. "I love you too little man and don't you forget it..."
Scully watched as Monica sat her glass of spiked ice tea on the table. "What's going on? There's something you're not telling me," Scully said, plainly.
Monica smiled nervously. "Why would you say that?"
"Because I've never known you to drink at 2 in the afternoon...", Scully said, as she placed William with a bottle in his hand down in his play pin so he could feed himself.
He gripped the bottle and expertly fed himself the warm liquid. Monica smiled to William. "He's such a cute kid...I mean...he's definitely you but I see Mulder in him so clearly...I didn't really get to know Mulder that much but from what I did see...he's there..."
Scully's eyes softened and she smiled as they both watched him guzzling his drink with one hand as he tried to wipe at his sleepy eyes with the other without dropping his bottle.
"It's just...", Monica said, still staring at the baby. "There's a master plan, Dana...and it involves him somehow. He'll have to make a choice and it won't be an easy one for him...because he's like them in so many ways that going against them will be like going against himself...but siding with our side means that we'll continue...I know when the time comes he'll make the right choice...it's just hard for him knowing this even at such a young age..."
"You think that's why they keep coming after him?", Scully asked as her voice quivered slightly. "Why they keep trying to destroy him, so he won't turn on them?"
"I don't know," Monica said finally. "I don't really know Dana...it's just a hunch," Reyes added.
William tossed his bottle down and Scully scooped it up out of the way along with her little chubby little man that she burped into a bib and then kissed his cheek which made him giggle. She then laid him back down and covered him up with a blanket. She watched as he closed his beautiful blue eyes and drifted off to sleep. She smiled and shook her head and then turned to whispered to Reyes. "Ya know, he never sleeps for very long...He is his father's son...His naps are never more than an hour."
Monica looked at the happy face that Scully was portraying but she saw something else there behind her eyes. "How are you holding up? I mean, it's been six months now...How's Quantico?"
"I'm holding up as well as I can...under the circumstances. I am bored at teaching," she confessed. "I hadn't done it in so long but it keeps me busy and I get to spend more time with William," she said, placing her index finger into his tiny hand. He gripped it instinctively."
"Your mom watches him when you're at work?", Monica said already knowing the answer before the question flew out of her mouth.
"She's so proud of him...She's ready at a moments notice...I think it would be easier for her if she moved here...or if we moved there..."
Monica gasped. "You're thinking of leaving?"
"NO! No, no,of course not...," Scully said trying to clarifying the situation. "Mulder and I decided that William and I would stay here. "
She paused looking at her son. "You know, he didn't want to go... Krychek had told Skinner that either William or Mulder would have to die," she sighed, closing her eyes as the thought of losing either one of them was too great. "Not even a full day after he was born," she said, glancing over to Monica."Kersh call Mulder and told him the same thing...that if he didn't leave, they would continue to come after William...We never knew why they wanted them dead. I still don't know why."
Scully breathed heavily. "Mulder didn't want to go...I forced him to go," she said, as tears rolled down her cheeks. "I could see it in his eyes that it was the hardest thing he ever had to face...out of everything...my cancer...my abduction...the loss of my sister..."
Scully shook her head and cleared her tears. "We hugged and cried together because we had never ever been apart for this long ever since we started working together nearly 9 yrs ago...Mulder only wanted his family with him. He begged me to run with him with William but I knew that we couldn't...I'd just given birth, I was still open and sore...my milk hadn't even come in yet...a crying baby in god knows where, there was no way that would work...I told him we'd be fine. I convinced him somehow...a rarity," she smiled. "I convinced him to let us stay here...that we'd be safe...I'd have you and Doggett and my mother and we'd be here when he comes back..."
Monica reached out a hand and placed it on Scully's shoulder. She smiled at her friend. "Times like these when I'm home from work and there's not much to do but take care of the baby, it really hits me hard...", she sighed. "I miss them..."
"Them?", Monica asked, looking puzzled.
"Mulder and Emily..."
"Whose Emily?", Monica asked cautiously.
Scully bent down and patted his sleeping back. She then walked over to her desk and pulled out a photo which she placed near her heart and then walked back over to where they were sitting. She handed the photo over to Monica. Monica smiled at the bright face of the little girl. "This is William's sister...", Monica said finally.
Scully licked her lips. "Yes...my daughter Emily...I met her when she was three."
Monica cocked her head to the side but remained silent, waiting for Scully to continue.
"She was an experiment born out of my stolen ova from when I was abducted. She was just three years old..."
"I'm so sorry Dana, I never knew you had a child that died...That explains the smaller presence that surrounds you and surrounds baby William..."
Scully sat back startled. "What do you mean?"
Monica smiled shyly. "You have a male energy around you, I'm assuming it's your dad...and then a female...older too but more of a contemporary...so it had to be your sister. And there was always this younger one and I couldn't place it...but now I know...it's your daughter Emily."
Scully nodded her head but kept quiet. "She surrounds him...She's like his guardian angel..."
Scully wiped her hands on her legs nervously and then stood up and walked over to the desk, placing the photo carefully back in it.
"I didn't mean to make you nervous...", Monica said, noticing the sudden change in Scully's demeanor.
"No...Its just...hard to take in, that's all," Scully said, thinking back to the sand that was in Emily's coffin.
"So how is working with A.D. Folmer going?", Scully said to change the subject.
Monica sighed heavily. "You know we had a history, right?"
Scully was speechless. "No...I didn't know that."
"He's jealous of the tiny miniscule spark between John and myself..."
"I wouldn't call it miniscule..."
"Well its not raging passion or anything like that...John is...slow...He does things in his own time..."
Scully smirked. "I've seen him looking at you..."
Monica arched a brow. "Not the way he looks at you Dana. But it doesn't really matter. Nothing will come of Brad and me ever again...and maybe one day..."
"John will recognize what is right in front of him," Scully interjected. "I'm sorry that throughout all this, John still doesn't recognize that I could never love him...I can only love one man and I have loved that one man for nearly 9 yrs...",Scully said, looking at the baby. "I've given up everything for him and would do it again in a heartbeat if I had too..."
Monica's eyes were glazed over as a few tears crept in her own eyes. "That's so beautiful...I know John...I think he's starting to see that I like him...Maybe one of these days," Monica sighed. "But he's soooo blind," she chuckled.
Both Scully and Monica laughed heartily. "Men can be clue-less sometimes..."
"They can be...", Scully smiled. "You know Mulder used to be terrified that I would leave him...That I would just give up and walk away from the X-Files which meant, walking away from him and his life...He would tell me to leave him...And each time I'd tell him I won't...that my place was with him...and do you know what..."
"What?", Monica asked.
"He STILL didn't believe me," Scully laughed. "Why else would a woman go through all the hell that I went through if I didn't love him?", she said rolling her eyes. "FBI benefits aren't THAT great."
"Don't I know it...", Monica giggled.
"It's good to laugh...", Scully said, turning to look at Monica. "Thank you for being here..."
"No problem..." Monica smiled. "I think I better go now though and let you spend some time with your son...I'll drop by another day..."
"Thanks for the company...", Scully smiled.
Monica headed for the door. She turned to look back at Scully. "If you ever just need to get out and do something, just let me know. You know Dana, Williams lucky to have a mother to love him the way you do but sometimes its good to just have that extra support..."
"Thanks Monica...", Scully smiled, as she picked up an awakened William from his short nap.
"Bye baby William..."
He smiled and gurgled at Monica as she waved at him and then closed the door back behind her. Scully was once again left alone with her son. "Just me and you alone again, William."
She kissed every inch of his cheeks as she rubbed his head cradled within her hands. William was busy looking around the apartment as his mother held him up. "You act like your gonna miss something if you close your eyes for more than an hour...just like your daddy..."
William's eyes lit up and he smiled a crooked smile. She gave a quick peck to his cheeks and then stood up to take him into his bedroom, the former spare room so she could change his diaper. It was another few hours of the same routine but she didn't notice the monotony of it all, she just relished in every moment of it.