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Title: The Gump Files Summary: My Moma always use to say, "Alien autopsies are like box chocolates... sometimes you can't find the nuts." Hello, my name is Fox, Fox Mulder. People call me Fox Mulder. My Moma always use to say, "Alien autopsies are like box chocolates... sometimes you can't find the nuts." Anyway, I joined up with the FBI. I got the job because of my friend, Assistant Director Walter Skinner. I just call him "Suh". Anyhow, he says I was too spooky for the job. "Spooky is as spooky does, Suh," I told him. But he still said that I was too spooky. Too spooky for my shirt. Too spooky for my shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt, shirt, too spooky... That's when I met Scully. She was real pretty. We started talking and soon we were partners. I showed her about aliens, and she taught me what icthiosis was. And she was always the first one to point out the particle accelerators. One thing about Scully, she always used really big words! But Scully and me was like ice worms and ammonia. They even started calling her Mrs. Spooky, like we was married or something! Scully had another job, too. She played the guitar and sang these folk songs at this little club. But when I came to see her she got mad at me. Then one night her boss called me up and said that she was missing. It was like she'd flown far far away like a bird. No one could find her. I thought I was never going see her again. Skinner got me a new partner. His name was Alex Krycek. We did a lot of driving, and he sure seemed to know a lot about shrimp! Shrimp sandwich, shrimp salad, shrimp kabob, bar-B-Q shrimp, fried shrimp, shrimp sushi, shrimp chow mien, shrimp in cream sauce, pineapple shrimp, shrimp soup... Krycek and me were supposed to meet the President of the United States, but I'd had me about fifteen iced teas, so I really had to go pee. A little while later Scully came back. She told me about her journey, and about all the men she'd seen, and how it was really cosmic and spacy. And she showed me her tattoo. I told her that the girl I sat next to in Home-Ec class never did that. I told Scully that we had to find whoever had taken her. "They shouldn't be hurting you, Scully," I told her. We finally tracked someone down, and I was chasing him. Scully told me to "Run, Fox, run!" So I did. I just kept on running. So Scully and me was like ice worms and ammonia again. One day she got mad at me. I told her Krycek had killed my father, and I was going to kill him. She said that wasn't such a good idea, but I didn't listen, and so she shot me. Of course, then we got in trouble with Skinner. He had lots of questions. "Where exactly did Agent Scully shoot you, Agent Mulder?" "In the buh-tocks, Suh." "Oh really?" he said. "I believe I'd like to see that." So I showed him. He kicked me out of the FBI. That was okay, because I went to Scully's apartment. She had a little boy with her. She said his name was Fox, just like his daddy. Me and little Fox got along real good, even though he did have big black eyes and really grey skin. One day, Scully found out that she was really sick. The doctors said it was cancer. Scully died from the cancer. I missed her a lot. But I had little Fox to take care of. He got on the school bus on the first day, and met a little girl named Samantha. Fox and Samantha was like ice worms and ammonia. The End.
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