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Title: 16. Doesn't Have A Dog's Chance Summary: Belun looks for a missing neighbor child who has autism. Belun had rolled in something. I grimaced as I pried smelly globs out of his unruly coat. Finally the clumps surrendered to a thick treatment of conditioner. He looked at me, tongue lolling, a cheesy grin on his face. Pluto and Mars never did this. They had indulged as puppies, but grown into fine dignified animals who always reminded me of Walter. Spooky no doubt would have joined in but he was with Mulder, who had finally caved, gotten Spooky a canine good citizenship and whizzed through the therapy dog testing. His first project was young Ryan Jennings, a neighbor of ours who had autism. Ryan's mother struggled to raise him alone as Ryan's father had left the family after he was diagnosed. Ryan responded well to dogs, but his mother, Emily, was too overwhelmed to take on one. Spooky was perfectly happy to be the stimulus for moments of social contact in Ryan's painful interactions with the world. I finished blow drying Belun, happy for the money we put in the grooming shed. Zelda made an appearance for this part of the process. She took a perch on the other grooming table to supervise, tail twitching as if she thought I wasn't doing the job right. That cat is a true critic. She gave a couple critical licks to her calico fur, as if suggesting to Belun that he should indulge in some better self care. I agreed. Mulder's face didn't hide much these days. He looked raw with grief and worry. "What?" I asked. "Ryan's missing. His father took him camping over at Kirby Park and 'took his eyes off him for a few minutes'. The irresponsible bastard searched for five hours before letting Emily know. Search and Rescue needs you." Damn, I was getting too at ease with my life. I had left my cell phone in the house. Grabbing Belun's harness, I said, "Work, boy." All of Belun's comic nature disappeared as he assumed the work he loved. He was ready, serious, focused. I could only hope that we would not be disappointed. Kirby Park borders on a very deep lake. Cal Jennings was a red faced and burly man who was twenty years older than Emily. She had worked for him in his law office before his second divorce. The one time I talked to her at length she had remarked ruefully that she should have known better. He was not a bad person, but he was pampered by his wives until they tired of making him the center of their universe and not even earning fidelity for the labor. Emily admitted that she thought he was a misunderstood genius until she had Ryan. She had quickly learned that the fifty year exterior covered a spoiled four year only son. When times were difficult, Cal looked for someone to blame. She admitted she had a brother who was a recovering alcoholic and a sister who once had a long depression. However, she had read everything she could about autism. "There was nothing I could have known about. It happens. You live with it." Her sad weary smile told everything. "Or you don't." I had grown up so much. An earlier Alex would have punched the man in the face. This more mature version conducted an interview without expressing any of the loathing I felt. Belun's nose led him in erratic circles. If I wasn't his partner and we didn't have the deep trust required to work together in search and rescue, I would have thought he didn't have the scent. Like many autistic children, Ryan like to spin. Belun's nose followed the progress exactly, showing me how the boy had twirled and twirled rather than walked in a straight route. I was happy to see where Ryan's trail diverged from the path to the lake and veered toward the fence that separated the park from Mr. Kirby's estate. That was wonderful in that Ryan was going away from the water, not so wonderful in that Mr. Kirby had a major attitude problem. I was still recovering when Walter and Mulder bought our place. Mulder was keeping close to me when Walter supervised the renovations to our antique castle. Therefore, Mr. Kirby only met Walter, seeing what the surface said. He was pleased with his new neighbor whom he saw as a ex-military, ex-high ranking government retiree. As chances were, Mr. Kirby still did not meet Mulder or myself for several months. I was building the institute; Mulder his career as a writer. Kirby had made his money in munitions as had his father and grandfather. The bloody billionaires, they were know as, and were perverse enough to laugh about the title. His business left him a great deal of time for his hobby. He enjoyed showing Dobermans and competing with them in schutzhund and obedience. He met Walter when he was showing Pluto and Mars in obedience. He knew Gina and though they didn't get along, he respected her dogs who were nationally known for their quality. The first time Kirby met Mulder and me, it was in the middle of helping Gina with a puppy mill bust. Kirby was testifying for the destruction of the rescued dogs, who were Dobermans. He was of the belief that badly bred dogs should be destroyed. It took him a long moment to realize that Walter was part of a relationship with the two of us. I don't think he ever got over it. The next time I met Kirby, my Belun whipped his dog, World Champion Kirby Steel Bullet at an open obedience event. Kirby normally didn't enter any competition that was not for AKC dogs only, but this was a highly televised event. He was not happy that Belun, who was a mismatched bunch of miscellaneous parts beat his dog by a landslide. The judge kept gushing about what a happy worker Belun was. Kirby Steel Bullet was what was known as a robot. A dog whose performance was mechanically perfect, but who took no joy in his tasks. Some judges would not have cared, but this one was well known for her dislike of robots. Kirby has been pissed at us ever since. He tried finding ordinance against my institute. He lost. I knew where the bodies were buried and I had no problem using the information. Kirby kept a tall fence between his property and the donated land which compromised the state park. He cursed the impulse that made his father give away this prime acreage and wanted none of the common people on his land. However a tree did not obey his will and took out the fence. Belun walked along the trunk, tail cork screwing in a way that let me know that he was scenting the boy. With a prayer that I didn't meet Kirby, I followed after making a brief call to the other searchers to let them know I was finding the trail. I stayed with Emily. She needed someone with her and I didn't have a trained dog. Belatedly, I regretted my resistance to trying Spooky at search and rescue. He may not have been a well bred dog, but he was sound. He had passed his hip and elbow exam with flying colors. His top line was crooked, but it wasn't from fundamental lack of bone structure. It was just a quirk. His head shape was a bit off too, but he was still beautiful to me and he was all heart. Right now, Emily was hugging Spooky, trying to draw some comfort from his furry body. "I knew I shouldn't have let Cal take him. I was just so tired and I thought it was just one night...just one night I could sleep without listening for the door alarm. I was weak." "Bullshit," I remarked. "You don't have a superwoman cape. You need a break. I remember how excited you were that Cal was finally taking an interest. You were trying to allow your son a relationship with his father. That wasn't irresponsible." "Mulder, that's nice of you, but..." "No buts. When we find Ryan, the next time you need a break, I'll make arrangements with my brother, Jeff. Ryan would be welcome at the institute. It would be good for him being around other children." Emily stopped hugging my dog and started hugging me. I don't know why I hadn't thought of it before. I guess I didn't understand how much she needed a break. I said a silent prayer of thanks when I thought about how normal my son was. Oh, he might have alien genes, but nothing showed overtly. Like Missy, he would probably show some enhanced talents, but they would not be burdens. It made me wonder what would happen if my healing touch worked with Ryan. I hadn't tried. I had no control over my gift. It only seemed to work under extreme emotional distress when someone I loved was hurt. Missy honestly was more powerful than me. She grew stronger by the day and was less affected now than she was before. She already spoke about when she would be a doctor. Scully was equally proud and worried about her. "You're sure Alex will find him?" "Belun and Alex are the best." I felt guilty about saying it, because Walter and the bloodhounds were certainly just as good. Pluto and Mars were steady workers with noses that honored the lines Gina had put so much of her life into breeding. Belun was a fluke who followed his nose, but also seemed to think about what he was doing. Like the time he followed his nose to the lake and figured out that the little girl for whom he was searching was in the row boat out on the dock. It was things like that which made Belun one of the most renowned search and rescue dogs in the state. Walter was at a training seminar for mass disasters with the bloodhounds. He offered to fly back when I told him about Ryan, but I assured him that Alex was on the job and would hopefully find Ryan. Walter read my mind and said, "You thinking about training Spooky?" "Yeah," I admitted. "He already had a relationship with Ryan. He would have been a natural to put on his trail. " "When I get back, we can start training," Walter said. At least Walter knew better than rubbing it in. We didn't butt heads like we used to do. The sex was too good to mess up. Oh, hell, I loved him so much I could compromise every once in a while. The stand of trees was ancient, red oak ninety feet tall and gnarled with age. The one that had fallen probably had seen Civil war soldiers pass under it. A lightening stroke had felled it, splitting it in two. Even the half that crushed Kirby's fence was big enough for a foot bridge. Belun snuffled at a branch and I reached down, seeing a wisp of threads. It was red acrylic yarn. Ryan had been wearing a red shirt. Further into the trees, I found a tennis shoe and tucked it into my pack. Hopefully the boy would slow down with one foot bare. Belun forged ahead. We emerged into a clearing. Belun wandered around again, telling me that Ryan was spinning and meandering. I remembered there was a bog somewhere and I hoped I would find the boy before then. As my dog and I followed the trail, I felt a familiar tingling, my sixth sense as it were. I zigged and pulled Belun with me. A bullet passed where Belun had been. "You're trespassing," Kirby said, raising his gun. "I'm deputized!" I said. "You're interfering with an official search and rescue operation. You shot at a valuable canine officer." All of this was correct. From the moment, Belun put on that harness, he was an officer of the law and so was I. "That mutt, that canine atrocity is not valuable in any way shape or form. He is a travesty that should have been put in a sack and drowned. Get off my land." Instead, I called the sheriff and handed the phone to Kirby. A moment later, Kirby threw the phone back at me. "You can look for the kid..." Kirby said. "And put him in an institution where he belongs. You can bet I will not be backing the sheriff in the next election. Deputizing perverts and trash dogs!" Kirby called his security guards to follow me, steaming off, probably to see how many complaints he could be make about the sheriff. The delay could have cost Ryan his life. By the time, I found him, he was floundering in the bog. The warmth had fled with the sun going down and he was soaked to the skin. It had been hours since he had eaten and he was exhausted. I fed him candy from my pack and urged some water down his throat. We sat, Ryan's arms around Belun, waiting for the med evac helicopter. Ryan might not communicate with people, but he liked Belun and Belun liked everyone, the friendliest dog I had ever met. Belun had licked the grimy face clean and made Ryan giggle. I had an emergency blanket around the boy and my arms around him. The security guard made some noises about not liking the faggot being so close to a kid. I let them live mostly because Ryan needed me for warmth. If they hadn't kept their distance, I wouldn't have been so nice. Finally the copter arrived. It scared Ryan and he shrieked painfully loud and high. It took all my strength to hold him. Belun whined miserably, not knowing what was wrong and wanting to know why his new friend was so scared. They had to strap Ryan to the stretcher. It makes me wonder what makes these kids like that. I don't know if I believe in God. The stuff I had been through when I was a child made me wonder. Then I think about how it is now and I believe a little bit. Mulder and Walter are my heaven. I caught a ride back with Sheriff Dugan. He was getting long in the tooth, nearing retirement age. He was a good sheriff, but he was an elected official. Kirby's money could make the next election hard for him. He looked at me dolefully and asked, "You want to press charges against Kirby?" What I wanted to do to Kirby was drop his body down an incinerator, not necessarily killing him first. I said, "Nah, you don't need that. I'll figure out something after the election." "Thanks," Dugan said. "You and your partners have brought a lot of good to this county, but Kirby is old blood around here. People don't like him but they fear and respect him." "I understand. I know his kind." All too well I knew his kind. Old men. The old men who ran my life before I turned around and bit. Belun panted in my ear, happy to be with me. He was a better man than I was. The misery and confusion of a shelter dog had not dimmed his joy. He loved everyone and he threw himself happily into whatever activity I introduced him to. I buried my face in his furry neck and said, "Belun, you are the best dog in the entire world." "He sure is." There was a short article in the paper. No mention of Kirby, just a fluff piece about Belun. I managed to get in some comments about the shelter and how I had found this dog hero on death row. They printed almost everything I said. To make it sweeter, they were interested in watching me train another group of shelter dogs. Kirby shoved to the back of my mind. Walter was coming home and Mulder and I were planning an intimate celebration. Mulder and I had enjoyed a few days as a couple. We had been good together, just not as good as we were with Walter in the mix. People didn't get us, but that was okay. I got us. I fell in love with two powerful men. Mulder was beautiful, elegant, lanky, kinky, and endless in his surprises. He was also stubborn, irritable, eccentric, and prone to dark emotional abysses. We burned like the sun when we made love. It was paradise, but sometimes, it could also be hell. We needed someone to balance us or we would have killed each other or more likely, we would have been killed in some wild enterprise that neither of us had the sense to refuse. Walter was so full of classic maleness I could overdose on him. His slim hips and his powerful chest drove me wild. He appealed to that little kid in me that never had anyone to protect him. With Walter, I could give into weakness and he would wrap around me, making me feel safe. He was a great lover too; he had stamina and passion. When he looked at me, I felt like the most beautiful person in the world. Oh yeah, he could also be overly protective, overly conservative, and too ready to make decisions for all of us. Walter and Mulder each found what they needed with each other and with me. We worked like something designed for love. I was thinking about this, sitting on the porch swing, as I watched Spooky and Belun play. Those two were such perfect partners, enjoying endless good health and will to play. Belun was play-bowing, his rump high in the air, his crooked tail swirling like helicopter rotors. Spooky barked with excitement, jumping in front of Belun with stiff four legged leaps. Belun responded by tackling Spooky down, apparently biting him on the neck although I know that he wasn't hurting his friend. Mulder flopped next to me, offending Zelda who had parked on my lap, probably missing Walter who was her favorite person. Zelda leaped down, her tail twitching in offense. She went off to do whatever cats do when they are ticked at their humans. "Jimmy should be over shortly," Mulder said. "You are being more paranoid than usual. I'm sure the place won't fall apart because we're gone for a couple hours." I scowled at my lover and said, "I have a feeling." "And they called me Spooky." When Mulder said 'Spooky', his dog came running, face split in a happy dog grin. Mulder's own face echoed the grin. "Did you think I was talking to you, you silly boy?" The conversation was lost in the glut of puppy love. My cell phone rang...damn it. Someone had reprogrammed it to 'Volga Boat Men' again. Probably Frohike at Mulder's bequest. "That was Jimmy," I told Mulder a few moments later. "And I am going to have your favorite gnome kidnapped and sent to Antarctica if he messes with my phone one more time." Mulder's chuckle told me he was at the bottom of the ring tone. "Jimmy's going to be a few minutes late. He has a flat tire. We can crate the dogs and he will be here in fifteen minutes." "Fine," Mulder said. "The kid is doing pretty well on his 'scholarship'." That made me smile. Jimmy Barnes had been a senior in high school when we met him, working for our friend, Gina, to save money for college. His mother had raised him by herself after her fire fighter husband had been killed. Sadly, the husband had been very young, not leaving a pension and not having insurance. He was too proud to take a handout, but was thrilled to win a scholarship for children of fire fighters killed in action. He had no idea that he was the only recipient. Mulder and I took the hummer. It had the kennels for Pluto and Mars, our blood hounds. I was nearly as eager to see them as I was to see Walter to tell the truth. Belun was my partner, but Pluto and Mars were like my brothers. I would never forget how they comforted me when I was dying of cancer. Walter worked them these days, but I loved to groom them and care for them. In some ways, they had brought us together. I loved them. I clicked the security system on. Jimmy was one of the few who had a code to open it. Karen, our vet, Jimmy, Gina, Mulder's brother, Jeffrey, and Scully had codes. Of course, the gunmen had codes, not that they needed one. It had been a long time since we had any attempts to break in, but we kept up our watch. There were a lot of people with reason to harm us. Who knew when one would pop up. I love coming home. I used to dread returning home, spending long days and nights at work, volunteering for anything that would give me an excuse to stay at work. Now, I knew I was going to be greeted by loving hearts, loving hands, and beautiful bodies. As much as I loved going to search and rescue seminars, I hated being away from my lovers. I greeted each of my men with a long kiss, not caring who saw. We kept no secrets here. Sure, some people objected to us, but none of us were ashamed of who we were now. I had bribed the porters to make sure Pluto and Mars were off that plane as quickly as the passengers. I was glad for the wheels on the crates. We took the dogs out promptly, but a bloodhound sized crate is a unwieldy load. I had laughed at Alex when he bought them. The man who would buy a dozen of the same shirt if it was sale, went crazy at the merchant section of dog shows. Belun sometimes ended up smelling like a bakery or a fruit stand as a result of shampoo purchases. He had at least a dozen collars. Still, the crate racks were one of his better choices. Alex went face to face with each of the bloodhounds to ruffle their ears and whisper to them. Their tails thumped each other with excitement. Mars uttered a low moan as if he had not seen Alex for years. Mars was the dog who bonded tightly to Alex. Even Belun couldn't change that relationship. Finally Mulder made an impatient sound, not too different from Mars and said, "Alex, remember that little celebration we're planning? Dinner and breakfast in bed with Walt?" And that was something else I had been looking forward to. Great sex isn't everything, but it was the frosting on out cake. We were explosive in bed and I was looking forward to spending the night with both of my lovers in every combination three passionate men can devise. Alex took Mars' leash. Mulder grinned and grabbed Pluto's leash, leaving me to drag the crates. Fine. On the way home, Alex filled me in on what happened with Ryan Jennings. Kirby concerned me. He was a rigid asshole and had made noises about how we shouldn't be allowed around children. That really pissed me off. Pedophiles aren't any more common in the gay community than they are in the straight community. Kirby's obsession with Belun had bothered me from the time I learned about it. There were pure bred dog people who could not abide mixed breeds. We had learned all about that shortly after the first time we went to our first dog show. I don't get it, but then at least one of my lovers wasn't pure human. I suspected Alex might have some genetic manipulation done to him also, but he didn't want to know, refused testing. Kirby didn't know about Mulder. I hate to even think what Kirby's attitude would be about that. Mulder said, "Don't worry about Kirby. He can't hurt us." Hell of a time for Mulder to lose his paranoia. My gut twisted. The gate was open. Jimmy would never do that. He was a smart kid and careful. Jimmy's car was parked in the parking garage. He was in it, tied and blindfolded, tears running from beneath the cloth over his eyes. There's no nice way to pull duct tape off a face. I pulled off the cloth so he could see it was me and said, "Sorry." Jimmy yelped. He said, "I am so sorry, Alex. They came out of nowhere as I was opening the gate. They hit me on the head and that's all I know until I woke up like this." "It's okay, Jimmy," I said. "Are the dogs okay?" "I don't know," I said. It could have been a robbery attempt although I thought my reputation was deterrent to that. Walter took over for me, not letting Jimmy stand as he checked his eyes. I had left Belun and Spooky crated in the kennel that was built off the side of the grooming shed. We didn't use the kennel much but it came in handy when we had non dog people over at the house. I sometimes used it when I was working shelter dogs to quarantine them until I was sure they didn't have kennel cough or worse. The crates were empty. I moaned. I knew if Belun was loose that he would come when I called him. I ran out to call him and almost ran into Mulder, carrying Spooky. Mulder said, "I think someone kicked him hard. He came limping out of the grove. I have to bring him to Karen. I'll get back as soon as I can." For once in my new life, I was on my own, not of my choice. Walter brought Jimmy to the emergency room and Mulder brought Spooky to Karen. I called Belun until my voice was gone. He didn't come. I felt like I was in hell. My poor Belun. He had suffered so much in his young life. I envisioned him somewhere, wandering, thinking he was abandoned yet again. When I came to my senses, I put Pluto and Mars in harness, started at the front gate. They whine when I held Belun's leash to their noses. They might find Belun irritating at times, but they loved him. I know they did. Moving in circles, their huge ears wafting scent to their magnificent noses, the bloodhounds soon looked at me in apology. No scent of Belun. He had not left on foot from the gate. I had made a circuit of the property by the time my lovers came back. Belun was nowhere. I went to Walter, folding myself into his arms. Mulder came around and wrapped his arms around me. I felt safe, but not comforted. I needed my partner. I needed my dog. I taught people how to find dogs as part of the responsible pet ownership workshops I did for Karen, our vet, and Gina, friend, dog guru, and breeder of Pluto and Mars. I had posters made up for each of our pets, even for Zelda, who seldom left the house except to hang out on the porch. I printed some more posters as I listed Belun on Craig's list with his picture. Meanwhile, Walter and Mulder searched again. I didn't resent it. Sometimes you can miss even a big dog when it is hiding. Karen had Spooky, Mulder's Golden Retriever. The poor pup had a broken rib and needed to be kept out of action. I spared the time to kiss Mulder, knowing he didn't like to leave his dog at the vets. Spooky was born in a puppy mill we busted. He only escaped death due to Mulder's devotion plus, I think, the same healing touch that had saved me. She said she would call the shelters and emergency vets for us. Bless her heart and her endless energy. Gina printed out more of our posters and mobilized friends, kennel staff, and volunteers to put them up. I told Walter when he returned without my dog. "It's Kirby. I have a bad feeling about him." "Could he be one of the Old Men?" That was our name for the conspiracy that had almost destroyed my life, a minor point in light of their plan to sell out humanity to save their own skins. Shaking my head, I said, "No, I checked my files. Not even a minor player. I guess evil exists outside of the Project." I guess the day I stop capitalizing the Project even in my thoughts was the day I really no longer lived with the terror of the aliens and their allies. "Don't go after him," Walter warned. Shit. I stared him down. Or tried to. It didn't work. "Belun won't be helped if you end up with your ass in jail. You know Mulder would be right beside you. I can't even promise I could stay out and there would go my license to practice law." Walter wasn't being selfish. That law practice was doing a lot of good. Animal rescue walks the line sometimes and more than one rescuer crossed it and needed legal help. Take the lady that couldn't stand watching an old dog lie on a chain dying without so much as a bowl of water. She ended up in jail instead of the people who allowed their old friend to suffer. That wasn't going to happen around here, not with my money and Walter's budding skills in court. I said, "I won't go after him, but I'm going to have some people check him out." Yeah, I still knew people who walked the shady side. Some of them might not be law abiding citizens, but they were good friends. Our house became a command center as our friends in search and rescue went into the field to look for Belun. All we could do was assume that they took Belun for some reason and possibly dropped him on the road. Or he could have gotten away. The problem was that Belun loved everybody. He went through his hard times better than I did. He forgave everyone and turned his crooked grin, his scraggly tail in corkscrews on for each new friend. I had taught him manners, but I had not taught him my distrust for my own kind. I wish I had now. Maybe. I felt as if it was my fault. I didn't deserve Belun even if I had save him. My sins came back to haunt me. I needed to be out looking. I needed action. I brushed by Jeff as he came in with Mulder's same lanky stride. He said, "Alex, I have the older kids checking the internet and posting everywhere. It's another variation of talking to the neighborhood kids. Now that so many of them are on computer instead of playing in the yard." "Thanks," I said. I made no comment when Walter got into my jeep. So maybe he didn't trust my resolve to leave Kirby alone. Maybe he was right. Walter's hand rested on my knee. I wasn't alone. I had taken a basket of my dirty laundry with me. I left articles of my clothing at intervals in the hopes that a roaming Belun would respond to the familiar scent and follow it home. I called Belun until my voice gave out again. It had never been strong since the silo. I had screamed so long in terror that I damaged my vocal chords. Walter took over. Belun obeyed him too and loved him. It was dark by the time we stopped. I hated going home. I couldn't rest until I had checked everyone to see if he had spotted. Even though Karen had checked, I listened to the recording that listed all the dead dogs found that day. None sounded like Belun, but I would make sure they had all been scanned. I had him micro chipped of course. I wish I had a real tracking device on him. I let Mulder and Walter coax me into lying down. I knew I couldn't sleep but my body was running down. My mind knew I had to rest, but my heart was racing. Walter tricked me though. He let the dogs on the bed and that always made me fall deep into sleep. I woke with Mars gently lapping at my face. The first thing I did was check the voice mail and my email. I checked all the web boards again too. It was too early to go to the shelters. I called my friend, Andre, one of the guys I had checking on Kirby. Andre was Russian, first generation. He couldn't school his accent and it was so thick he might as well be speaking Russian. He said, "It fucking early, Alex. What's wrong with your voice?" "Strained it yesterday," I whispered. "You find anything out?" "Friend of a friend," Andre said. "Said Kirby was hiring, but he was too late and the guy had a crew by the time he heard about it." "Hiring for what?" "Didn't say," Andre said. "You getting so soft that you forgot how it works? You accept the job and then you find out." "I need to find out who did get hired," I said. "I can get it for you, but it's gonna cost me some. "Whatever it takes." "I'll get back to you," Andre said. "You're good for it." Never screw people over for small change. It earns you capital when you need something. One of Alex's laws. Mulder slapped down a cup of hot tea, laced with lemon and honey. I drank it, leaning back against him as he leaned over me. "We will find him." As soon as the shelters opened, I went to them. Walter took the ones over east and Mulder took the west. I took the ones in between. Don't count on shelter staff getting descriptions right. I was getting soft. I insisted on looking at the bodies that hadn't been incinerated yet. None of them were Belun, but it still broke my heart. The beautiful husky smashed by a truck, no tags, a young skinny pup, probably starving to death when the car ran over him. All of these dogs victims of neglect for the most part. You can keep your dog in if you try. Unless someone opens the gate like they did for mine. The shelter staff was very kind. I had helped them place a lot of dogs and given money for expansions and more free neutering clinics. They accepted the posters and were putting them up as I left. I spent an hour or two putting up posters. Our volunteers had already plastered the town. I saw Emily Jennings with Ryan putting up posters. They saw me too and Emily hugged me. Ryan looked at me with his troubled blue eyes and said, "Doggie. Doggie." Emily said, "He keeps saying that. I don't know if he means Belun or Spooky." "When we get Belun back, bring him over to the house and we'll see which he means. Maybe he means both." "I will. And you will find him. Belun's too smart to be lost long." Emily said, "You want to know something? Cal took the day off to help put up posters too and he offered to double the reward for finding Belun. Can you believe that?" "Tell him thank you," I said. Emily hugged me again. I didn't realize until now how many friends we had. So many people who wanted to help us. It was wonderful and scary. I guess it meant we were citizens now with a community that accepted us. All because of the dogs... Well, maybe saving earth also contributed to the feeling, but the dogs helped. I met Andre in a coffee house that specialized in Russian pastry. No surprise that there was one in Richmond. Sharon was my cousin and I had sponsored her immigration. It wasn't so much family feeling. It was the way she baked. It was heaven. She had green eyes, a round face, and a pink complexion from the constant heat of the ovens. Her real name was Svetlana, but she dumped it soon after setting foot here. Andre let out a big sigh and said, "Maybe I marry your cousin, eh?" "Not unless you make sure she still runs this place. I didn't pay all those bribes just to have her make you fat and happy." "Do you have something for me or did you get me here to ask for my cousin's hand?" "I got something. Micky Mouse did a job for Mr. Kirby. He's willing to talk to you, but only if I promised him, you don't lay a hand on him." Micky Mouse was a small time merc. He would do about anything short of murder, not that he had scruples. He lacked balls for wet work. I groaned and said, "Why is everyone so concerned about my conscience? I did pretty good without one for most of my life." I sucked the cream filling out of a pastry horn before saying, "Okay, he's safe. Let's go talk to him." Micky was a Michael, but his last name wasn't mouse. It was just once you saw his sharp nose, his thin whiskers, and his beady eyes, you couldn't think of anything but a mouse. We met in an alley. Bit of classic skullduggery in that. Micky said, "So Rube subcontracted with me. You know, big Rube..." Now Rube was more dangerous than Micky. He wanted to be in the big time but didn't really have the brains. "What was the job?" "We didn't know it was your place. Maybe Big Rube did, but I wouldn't have gone near it if we knew it was you." "Why did you break into my home," I said. "Kirby wanted that dog, the one that was in the paper. He wanted him dead." My world went black. I came to my senses with my prosthesis around Micky's neck. Andre pulled me off the little guy and I took deep breaths. "Where is he? Where's the body?" Micky gazed at me with frightened eyes. He said, "No body. They sent me to shoot him because I didn't want to do it. Rube likes that. Big creep. I took him down by the river and tied him to a tree. He just kept cocking his head and wagging that crazy tail. I couldn't do it. Sheez, I like dogs. I fired over his head. I was going to come back later. Get him. I got a kid over in Shelbyville who would have loved that pooch. When I came back, he had chewed the rope and he split." "Show me," I said. I picked up my phone to call my lovers and my search and rescue club. Something I didn't use to have beat wildly in my heart. Hope. I had hope. We searched the area, Pluto and Mars picked up Belun's scent almost instantly. We found the remains of the rope tied to a tree, traced the scent to the road and lost it. Walter and I spent an hour trying to pick the scent up across the road, but they looked at us as if we were morons. Belun went to the road and then... I went back through the listing of dead dogs. None found in this location. Someone had picked Belun up. Why didn't they see all the ads? Were they waiting to blackmail us? After we had checked all of our listings, I slumped into my favorite chair, Mars, Pluto, and Spooky flopped around me, trying to give me comfort. I stroked Mars' head, which rested on my knee. Pluto leaned over the arm of my chair, his paw up. Spooky rested his head on my foot, sighing. I knew the dogs each missed Belun, especially Spooky, his main playmate. I closed my eyes, weary and my body weighed down with my grief. I remember when Walter and I were new to dogs, Gina talked about heart dogs, dogs you loved so much they became part of your soul. I didn't get it. I just smiled and nodded as if I did. Now I knew. I loved Belun like he was part of me. I adored Pluto and Mars, don't get me wrong. It was just that Belun had my heart and I had his. Losing him felt like losing my arm. I mean that with all seriousness. Even with all the dogs around me, I felt the phantom pain of missing Belun. Dozing, I was aware of Mulder and Walter's voices. That anchored me. The good thing before I met them was that life held no hostages for me. I did what I had to. Sometimes I did what I wanted to do, whether it was right or wrong. When I fell in love with them, sequentially, at first, it gave me nothing but pain. I felt as if I was betrayed by my heart. I never thought it would lead to something good, something as wonderful as what I had now. I could smell dinner cooking, something stir fried. Mulder's cooking skills were still minimal. He made an effort now and then, improving his cooking to the point that most of the meals were edible. He didn't enjoy cooking as Walter and I did. I got up to take a piss, washed my hands, both the fleshly one and the burden that hangs from my left shoulder. The dogs weren't allowed in the dining room. They lined up as close as they could get without breaking master's law. Before we ate, I said, "Kirby has to pay." "He already has," Walter replied. He shoved a news paper at me. The lower part of the front page stated, "Billionaire, community leader Jeb Kirby collapses at party." "I made a few calls. He didn't collapse. He apparently shot a hunting rifle off at his dinner party. Luckily, he didn't hurt anyone, but it wasn't for trying. He didn't like one of his guest's politics and wanted to open his mind to his way of thinking...with a bullet. His family has been covering up mental lapses for a year." I scowled. Maybe this was a more painful revenge than I could inflict, but I wanted to hurt Kirby personally. I couldn't sleep. My heart ached for my dog. I knew I had lovers. I knew that I had the other dogs, but I couldn't imagine going the rest of my life without Belun. I thought this must be a punishment. I knew I had sinned against god and humanity, but this was a payment I didn't want to make. My Belun, my wonderful loving, happy, silly, brilliant dog, who was made of joy... Ignoring the valerian tea that Walter put by my side, I went back through the kennel listings in each shelter for every county around. I could see Belun climbing into a stranger's car. Maybe they let him out in the city or he got out, expecting to be able to find me. I checked Pet Finder again then back through a dozen other pet listing sites. Nothing. Finally, Craig List. There was nothing in the pets section for our area. I sighed and decided to check in the lost section. Sometimes people posted there too. I saw it. A brief description, a large, mottled coat dog, very friendly, well fed, and good with children. Found near the river. Found! I called the number. Damn voice mail. Classical music that went on a little too long for my tastes. "His name is Belun and he is a trained search and rescue dog. He's my best friend. Please call me as soon as you get this message." I left all of our numbers, twice. Next I went to the very fast, very encrypted computer I kept for hacking. Yeah, I wasn't as good as Langly or Frohike, but I had better kung fu than Byers. I will say he is better at building computers than any of us though. The person who had Belun was probably a good Samaritan, but I didn't trust that. Besides, why hadn't she seen all my ads? They were everywhere. Belun was my super dog. I worried that anyone who lived with him a few days would want him forever. Let them get their own treasure from the dung heap. I rescued Belun. I trained that bright canine mind. Maybe the heart of pure gold was put there by nature, but I was the one who gave him the manners to match. I needed my dog. The lady, Ms. Elizabeth George, checked out. She was a kindergarten teacher who was widowed, raising her granddaughter, age six. I drove to her home which was up the road from us. There was a long drive way with a locking gate. Locks had a way of opening for me. There was no one home, no car in the driveway. A waste of lock picking skills. I stopped at the rural shelter. I had promised to pick up an Australian Shepherd for the Australian Shepherd Rescue group that Ellen Vargas ran. You must remember Ellen? She was the lady for whom I went undercover in a puppy mill. She still had the two dogs I had rescued. The girl, Felicia, was doing very well as a therapy dog. The boy, Aleck, named after me, would never be a normal dog. I could pet him, he loved Ellen and Gina, tolerated Karen, and the rest of the world was his enemy. Ellen and Gina had worked with him to the point where he stopped snapping at people, but he would never be comfortable in public. He could not stand being crated. Ellen finally found out that she could leave him with the sheep in their pen and he would be all right. If she left him in the house, he would break a window to get out. He reminded me of myself, feral and wary. I came out of this shell with the help of my lovers, but I understood Aleck. This Australian Shepherd was not a pure bred. She had a tail, not a telling sign as some people did not dock their Australian Shepherds, but she had an odd golden coat. However she was a friendly, pretty girl, with a nice merle pattern. Her striped tail might just add to her charms. I could place her if Ellen wouldn't. I always kept a waiting list of people interested in a well trained dog. I encouraged people who were adopting kids to consider a dog. They were great therapy for the children. I donated to the shelter and led the puppy to the crate. She licked my hand every few seconds and her tail waved merrily. She seemed a happy girl. I hoped I was helping her to the first few miles to a happy life. "She's a mix," Ellen said, shoving at her glasses again. She laughed and said, "She's adorable and she certainly has Aussie markings. I can find her a home. Look at her smile, Alex! What a beautiful smile! I just know the perfect place. There a lady who just lost her Golden. She wanted to switch to Australian Shepherds, but I think this girl will be the perfect compromise." Kneeling down to hug the dog, Ellen asked, her voice muffled by the abundant spotted fur, "Heard anything about Belun?" "I found an ad that must be about him, but the woman won't return my call. It's driving me nuts." Aleck came out to walk me to my car. I stroked his head. He gazed up at me, his blue eyes beseeching me. I said, "You don't even have to go back, Aleck. Never. You're home here with Ellen and she loves you with all of her heart." Ellen petted Aleck too and said, "He knows. He will always remember you saved him. So will I. Call me when you get Belun back. We'll get him a Three Dog Bakery cake." I nodded and climbed back in the car. Another night without my dog. I doubted I could sleep, but I went to bed anyway, my lovers holding me. I was safe too, like Aleck. I woke gradually for once. I could feel Walter's hand on my stomach, steady there, possessive and loving. Mulder's nose was near my neck, wafting gentle puffs on my sensitive skin. Pluto and Mars were sleeping in the doorway, Pluto's chin on Mars' back. They might never fully experience being dogs, having been neutered, but they seemed content. I wondered if they would ever have been happy without each other. Spooky's nose was resting on the bed near Mulder. His tail thumped when I looked at him. He had perfect faith. If he had any bad memories of his infancy, he didn't show it. A shrill sound. We hadn't set any alarm clocks. Damn it, it was my cell. I detangled myself from my lover and found the phone atop the dresser. I missed the call but the number showed. I remembered it. It was the number for Ms. George. I had a great memory anyway and that was not something I would forget. I returned the call and heard a slightly sleepy sounding female voice. "This is Alex Krycek. I think you have my dog. His name is Belun." I heard her say the name quietly and I heard Belun's bark. I shut my eyes. I cried too easily. Always had. Never had a high pain threshold. I showed the pain. Difference between me and sensible people is that I would go back to the job with the pain still gritting my teeth. Even when my arm was severed, I was back at work within weeks. Which was all a way of saying, I cried. "That's Belun," I told her. "He's wagging that crazy tail of his. I guess he is your dog. I wasn't sure about posting the ad. He was running down the road with rope tied around his neck. He also seemed a bit thin." "He's a borzoi mix," I explained. "And he is a search and rescue dog. He stays lean. As for the rope, he was taken from my home by men hired by a nut case." "That's a wild story," Ms. George said. "But a true one," I said. "Look on the internet. You'll find some stories about my dog. He's a great search and rescue dog." "It's just that Justine is crazy about him," Ms. George said. "She's my six year old granddaughter. I'm raising her." I bit back anger and asked, "Is that why you didn't respond to all my ads?" "Of course not," Ms. George said. "It's just that when we found him, I was on my way to our cabin. With the way we found him, I wasn't in a hurry to find his owner. Then I realized that I had to give you the benefit of the doubt. He acted like a well loved dog. He's great with kids." "He's around them a lot. My partner has a son and a step daughter. My brother in law runs the place on the hill. Belun does therapy there." "Oh, I've read about that. How wonderful!" I didn't mention that the institute was mine. I made arrangements to meet Ms. George. She mentioned that she would have her nephews there. Good thinking. You can't trust people just by who they say they are. Mulder and Walter insisted I shower and shave first. Didn't want me to scare the lady. They also wanted to go with me. For all the rivalry, I knew Walter loved my dog and Mulder did too. I was worried about leaving the other dogs alone so we dropped them off at Jeff's. Nothing at the house was irreplaceable but our dogs were. Zelda, the cat, was left in charge. I had faith that she could disappear if someone else got through our security. Next on my list, upgrading our security. I didn't like feeling like this, vulnerable, a sitting rat for whomever wanted a piece of me or my lovers. Ellen called as we turned down the road toward Ms. George's property. "Ms. Ingraham doesn't want the Aussie mix. I thought she would be excited as she could have her old breed and the one she is interested in starting all in one adorable package, but she wants an AKC dog. She's just used to conformation competition, Alex, she's not a snob. I can place the girl. I just wanted to let you know." I said, "I have a list of people who will take mixed breeds. I'm on my way to get Belun." "Thank God he is found," Ellen said. I heard a raspy sound and I realized that Jimmy, her rescued cat, was trying to get the cell phone again. That cat had a thing for cells. Mulder hopped out to unlatch the gate. It had a lock but Ms. George had left it unlocked for us. The family was sitting on the porch with my dog. Two burly nephews were probably meant for safety. Ms. George was a wise woman. Belun trembled, gazing at Ms. George, too well trained now to pull on the leash. She unsnapped the leash and Belun still waited until I said, "Release, my boy. Come, Belun." He flew to me, seventy pounds of mismatched parts that formed perfection. When Belun reached me, he grabbed my leg with a front paw, pressed his head against my thigh, and cried. I knelt to hold him, my own face buried in his fur. I didn't care who saw this. We were one, locked together. He was part of my soul, a big part of my heart. It took me a few moments to realize that Ms. George and her daughter had reached my side. The little girl had no hair, a pretty cap with a blue feather in it covered her head. She was so thin and so pale. I didn't have to be told what was wrong. "Justine really loves your dog," Ms. George said. The little girl smiled up at Mulder. "Hello! Are you the man in the moon?" Mulder's grin was wide. He said, "No, but I'm his grandson." "There was a story in one of the funny newspapers that had your picture and it said you were a moon man." I knew what she meant, having ribbed Mulder about the article which featured a photograph of him with a cheesy looking moon in the background. It was another one of the exploitive articles that turned up whenever Brittany hadn't flashed a body part or Angelica hadn't adopted another third world kid. Mulder's alien genes were no secret although tabloid newspapers made people think it was just like an Elvis sighting or an alien baby story. Ms. George offered us sun tea. I didn't really want to stay. I was exhausted from worry and now that I had my dog, I wanted to be home. I couldn't wait to see Belun romp with Spooky and be greeted by Zelda. Mars and Pluto would finally stop pacing the floor with Walter. Mulder sat on a porch swing that looked a lot like ours. Justine seemed fascinated by him and sat near him. They had a private conversation. The nephews and Walter went to look at truck partially dismantled in the yard. That left me to talk to Ms. George. I mentioned the spotted dog I had rescued. She looked interested but hesitated. She said, "Justine spends a lot of time in the hospital. What would I do with this girl when I have to be with Justine?" "You could leave her with me," I offered. "No problem. I owe you everything for saving Belun." I meant it. Belun was smart, but cars sped down that road. It was long straight and people assumed that because there were few cross streets, that twenty miles over the speed limit was fine. Wild life paid and I remembered seeing a few cat and dog casualties. Belun could easily be one of them if Ms. George hadn't rescued him. "I've never seen Justine take so to anyone," Ms. George said. The little girl leaned into my partner's arm. He looked weary suddenly. I realized Mulder had stayed awake with me since Belun had been lost. We had caught a little sleep last night, but it wasn't a lot. He closed his eyes. Justine said, "I feel so good like I could run forever." It took a moment to realize what had happened. Mulder's healing touch had struck again. I said nothing even when Mulder staggered a bit when he rose to his feet. He smiled wanly at me and said, "Let's go home, Alex." Belun nudged under Mulder's hand, supporting him. Walter tore himself away from his new found friends to join us. His eyes roved over our lover, but I shook my head, silencing him. If I was wrong about Mulder's healing, I didn't want to disappoint Ms. George. Mulder leaned into me and I stroked his hair. I had wedged Belun into the front seat with us so it was cramped. Mulder said, "It wasn't something I could control. It just happened." "I know," I said. "I was remembering Emily and I wanted to help Justine," Mulder said. I knew about Emily. I had read about it when it happened. You may not believe it but I felt sorry for Scully. Rotten thing to do to a person. I knew that was when she started to get fixed on having a kid. Mulder didn't get it. His family life was too miserable for him to have good feelings about the idea of becoming one. He did his best to support Scully in her wishes. He may have not wanted Emily but it screwed him up when she became ill and disappeared. He didn't talk about it much, but he once said to me that it was like losing Samantha all over again. I know that's his measure of deepest pain. Mulder sighed and moved even closer to me. He said, "If I could cure all the cancer in the world." Yeah, me too. It had been eating me alive before it killed me. I always wondered about that. Walter was so sure that I was dead yet Mulder's touch and tears brought me back, cured me. "It only works when I am emotionally invested," Mulder said. "I wish I could control it." Honestly, I was glad he didn't have control. Look at him now, wiped out by the effort of helping that little girl. Mulder would have kept going until it killed him. He's that way: he gives all. Belun was at my side all day. His chin was on my foot when I ate... on the porch so I could keep Walter's no dogs in the dining room rule and still be with my dog. He went everywhere with me that day. I fell asleep petting him. He fell asleep leaning against the bed, not on it, but as near to it as he could get. I worried that his perfect temperament would be ruined by the experience, but he was as fun loving and gentle as ever. I had the Aussie mix at Gina's, working her every day and bringing her to the house so I could work on her house manners. I brought her to Ms. George frequently to show her and Justine how to manage a dog. Mulder went with me often. A few weeks after Belun was returned, I drove Sissy, the aussie mix to her new home for the last time. Justine ran to greet us. Curls bloomed now. Her cheeks were pink. Mulder could touch her without being exhausted afterwards. Ms. George didn't say aloud what she suspected. She hugged Mulder, me, Belun, and Walter hard. She said, "I thought I was rescuing a dog, but instead I found a miracle that day. Thank you." Belun grinned, my everyday miracle. I didn't believe in god for a long time, but now I did. I felt grace everyday in the love of my partners and the company of my beloved dogs. The end
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