Title: Bah Humbug
Author: Katilyn Samantha Mulder
Written: April 1999
Category: VH- Vignette/humor, Mulder/Scully friendship
Feedback: please email me comments, suggestions, criticism, death threats, words of wisdom, shoes, whatever. This is one of my first stories, so it's like wearing those badges: "PLEASE FORGIVE ME. I'M A TRAINEE"

Summary: Christmas time. Scully invites Mulder over, and the eggnog boils as Bill and Mulder start talking.

I'm one of those people who believe Scully should drive more. And I noticed something about the character of Scully; she doesn't have expressions unless it's a 'look'. She pouts. Her face is almost always in a pout. It's not a bad thing, I just noticed that.

I also noticed from a lot of other FanFic that they make Scully too mean. Why? In my stories she only gets that means when she is drugged, on her monthly cycle and Mulder pisses her off, or because she isn't really Scully...nevermind. Read my stories and you'll get what I mean. What I
mean is, WRITE THEM INTO CHARACTER BETTER!!! (boy, aren't I just mommy's little hypocrite)

Also, they make Mulder too...perfect. No offense. He is one good-looking man. Better than that. But, his CHARACTER (not th genuine DD) isn't perfect. He isn't some casanova like other people make him to be. Not everybody makes him like that, but som e (and you KNOW who you are) do, and it makes me sick to my stomach.

Basically, I'm just being a complaining little...freak.

Disclaimer: ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING THAT HAS TO DO WITH THE X-FILES LEGALLY IS, sorry to say, NOT MINE. IT BELONGS TO THE ALMIGHTY X-FILE PEOPLE, which have no reason to sue me. What would your point be. EVERYTHING, except my own creations, BELONGS TO SOMEBODY ELSE LEGALLY, unless, of course, you WANT to give me Mulder. No objections here. Make sure he come with his glasses and sweater though, k? Kewl. Now, on with the story...


X-Files Division office
December 24, 1999
5:57 P.M.

Mulder sat at his desk, feet on resting on the desktop. Scully was putting away a file that they had been looking through and arguing about. She close her cabinet drawer and sighed. Dinner at the Scully's was going to be in a half an hour.

"I've got to get going, Mulder," Scully said as she headed towards the door.

"You've got to get over to the Scully family household?" Mulder asked.

"Yep, see you Monday."

"Bye."

Scully exited the door and Mulder looked around. He rested back and put his hands behind his head. He didn't know what he was going to do for Christmas. Of course this was last minute, but he couldn't get a hold of his mother all that day, but knew she was all right. She had been talking about going to see some old friends on Rhode Island. He closed his eyes and thought about it.

Scully never got ten feet from the door. She stopped immediately and turned around. She opened the door and said, "Mulder."

This shocked Mulder. He wasn't expecting it. He tried to look up quickly but the chair lost its balance. Scully saw as Mulder fell down and sunk behind the desk.

"Mulder!" Scully said as she rushed over to the desk, not able to contain at least a smile.

"I'm fine," Mulder said. He was up before Scully could get to the desk.

"Are you sure?"

"Other than utter embarrassment, pretty sure."

They stood there for a second, then Mulder realized something. "Scully, what are you doing back here?"

Scully remembered. "Oh, I was wondering what you were doing for Christmas."


Margaret Scully's Residence
6:38 P.M.

Mulder shut the door to his car. He had followed Scully all the way to her mother's house. Pretty nice place. He caught up with Scully on the walkway right out front of the house.

"Thanks for inviting me over. I don't know if I said that yet," Mulder said as they walked up towards the porch.

"Twice," Scully said.

"Do you think your mom will like me?" Mulder asked jokingly.

Scully smiled slightly. "My mom already likes you, it's Bill you have to worry about."

Ah yes. Mulder remembered Bill. Let's see, what did he call him before? A sorry son-of-a-bitch, that's right. Mulder stiff laugh showed Scully that he agreed with her.

They reached the door and Scully rang the bell. The door was answered by Ms. Scully. She first smiled at Scully, then at Mulder real quick.

"Hi Dana. Hi Fox. Come in," Ms. Scully said. When Scully and Mulder hung up their coats.

Ms. Scully hugged Scully, who said, "Hi mom," when she did.

"Oh, I don't get a hug?" Mulder said, pretending to be jealous. Mrs. Scully smiled and hugged Mulder briefly.

Right when Scully went to help her mother in the kitchen, Mulder felt nervous. He looked around the room and saw the unfamiliar faces surround him. God, he wanted holidays like this. Everybody knowing everybody, lots of people congratulating other people on their accomplishments, on their jobs, on their kids, on their marriage, on their friendships?

He shook the happy family thoughts that he wanted out of his head. He looked to the ground for a second, then looked back up. Immediately he saw Bill staring at him while a woman Mulder didn't recognize talked to him. Bill took his gaze back to the woman. Mulder looked around again, somehow slowly moving away from the door, even though he didn't feel like he was moving.

He got lost in everybody taking to everybody, except him. He didn't expect more than a 'hi' or a 'don't you work with Dana?', but he never expected what he got.

A little boy was running circles around everybody. Mulder smiled at the boy. So young, so full of joy. He has his whole world in front of him, different roads to choose to follow. Good luck kid.

The kid came running towards Mulder, then stopped dead in his tracks. The boy looked up at Mulder, and Mulder looked down at the boy. The boy saw the tall, lanky, dark-haired, green eyed, dazed man in front and above him. Mulder saw the light-haired, brown-eyed, small, smiling boy below him.

"Hi!" the boy said excited.

"Hi, what's your name?" Mulder asked, arms still dangling at his sides.

Some people might have thought this man...well...weird. He stood by himself, he didn't talk to anyone, and it looked like he didn't make any attempt to. The boy wasn't intimidated by this man, though.

"Micheal. And you're Auntie Dana's boyfriend," the boy said, still smiling.

Mulder was about to protest, his smile fading, but left his mouth hanging open. The boy ran away again before Mulder could even think of what to say. Mulder finally closed his mouth. He looked around again. He had ended up in the middle of the room. He cleared his throat and made an attempt to get back out of the crowd. He was stopped by a couple, younger than he was.

"Hi," the girl said, "I'm Sarah and this is my husband Nathen." 'Nathen' held out his hand and shook Mulder's. Both men noticed that the other had a firm handshake. 'Sarah' then continued. "You must be Mulder. We have heard so much about you from Maggie. Like not to call you Fox." Sarah laughed a little and Nathen held in a laugh.

Mulder smiled. He didn't get the joke. They seemed like 'yuppies' as Mulder likes to put it. But these were the kind of people that filled memories of family get togethers.

"Oh, I hope she didn't tell you too much," Mulder responded.

Sarah smiled more and Nathen stood next to her almost protective.


Scully looked from the kitchen and saw Mulder 'mingling', is that's what you want to call what Mulder did. She was glad he wasn't in a corner by himself. She turned around and helped her mother more in the kitchen.


After the 'yuppies' left Mulder looked around the room again.

Da da da dahhhhhhhh. Mulder looked across the room and saw Bill Jr., who made eye contact with him. Not a pleasant contact, as you might have guessed. Mulder turned away from it quickly. Mulder wasn't intimidated easily. But, for some reason, he was intimidated by Scully's brother right now.

Okay, let's give him the reason. Bill once called him a sorry son-of-a-bitch, he tells Scully that it's Mulder's fault about everything bad that happens, he totally hates Mulder. Mulder wants to make a good impression on Scully's family, other than the obvious. Now Mulder is in the Scully's household being given 'looks-of-death' from a Scully. Something like that isn't going to go unnoticed. Another Scully is going to wonder why, and isn't going to ask him, but ask Bill instead, who is going to make him sound more evil than Hitler. I don't see why he would feel uncomfortable.

Where's Scully!? Mulder looked frantically around the room. All he needed right now is Scully to be hanging around her brother. And there she was.

Okay, don't look into his eyes, or face, and you'll be alright. He walked over to Scully, who sounded like she was scolding Bill politely.

"Hello Agent Mulder," Bill said as coldly as anyone could speak. Scully turned around quickly and saw Mulder standing nervously next to her. She gave a soft smile that he needed right now.

"Hello Bill," he answered back, but not coldly. He didn't want a fight. No matter how much Bill wanted him Out. Notice the capital 'O'.

"Welcome back Mulder," Scully said. Mulder smiled down at her. "I'm going to leave you to talk," Scully said then mouthed to Bill, "Behave." She turned to walk away. Mulder and Bill opened their mouths at the same time to protest.

"Dana, I..."
"But Scully..."

Then both men looked at each other while Scully got out of the cross-fire safely.

"So, Mulder..."

"Bill..."

A long uncomfortable silence.

"How is work going lately?"

Mulder finally exhaled. "Oh, good. Little slow lately, but okay."

"That's good."

"How's the navy?"

"Oh, good. I found some time to spend some time with my own, I mean, my family this holiday, so I'd say it was going good."

He REALLY didn't like Mulder.

"Family is important. Especially around the holidays," Mulder said, trying not to say anything worse.

"Where's yours?" Bill asked, knowing exactly what he was doing.

Ggggrrrrrrrr.

"Mother is out-of-town right now. She is visiting some people in Rhode Island."

"Shows family values, your own mother leaving you on Christmas."

Mulder stared at him coldly, eyes squinting as he continued. "What is that about you? People don't get close and it's either they leave you or you leave them."

Bill's look back was, well, let's just say if looks could kill, Scully would be playing harps.

"Now, what it is with you?" Mulder asked back sharply and quickly.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't try to act all innocent. Why do you *hate* me so much?"

"Because I don't take a liking to people when they hurt my family."

They totally forgot there was twenty other people in the room, who made a small circle around them.

Mulder looked back at him. He never gave Bill a real reason for him to hate him. He didn't jump on his back, he didn't pick fights. What was up with this guy?

"Bill, I don't want to fight with you. I haven't done anything to you."

"You've hurt me...through my family. My sister died because of you. My other sister, Dana, gets hurt constantly because of you."

Mulder winced a little.

Bill continued, knowing he was getting through to him. "Why do you do it?"

"Maybe I don't do it! Because maybe I don't know I'm doing it!"

"Well you are," Bill replied in a more calming voice than Mulder's, "You go on this stupid journey of yours with Dana at your side, hurting her along the way."

"I don't drag her with me! Maybe she comes on her own. Ever think about that!"

No response from Bill.

"Why don't you ask her? I don't want to talk for her, I know she wouldn't tolerated from me, even though she has been for you."

"No you listen to me you sorry s.o.b," Bill said as he got closer to Mulder, "Don't you, of all people, tell me something is wrong with our family. You wouldn't be the expert on it anyway, look at yours."

"Didn't you use sorry s.o.b.last time Bill? I thought you would have been a little more creative this time."

Scully heard loud voices from the living room. Damnit!

A silent Bill. He thought Mulder would repond to his family comment, not his name calling.

Thank God Scully stepped in. "What the hell are you two doing!?"

All eyes on the short, red-headed control taker. She stood hand on her hips, eyes filled with angry confussion. She was more intimidating then the 'look-of-death' from Bill.

Both men's eyes went to the floor and their heads hung. Scully walked up to them. The crowd pay closer attention.

"Bill!" Scully said, then Bill's eyes met hers. She continued, "I can't believe you! Starting a fight at Christmas! Come on! I thought you better than that!"

Mulder was about to smirk, but then it was his turn.

"And you..." Scully started as Mulder pulled his puppy-dog face. "Don't you do that with me."

Mulder's face went expressionless. She was definitely taking control of this situation.

"Mulder..."

"Yes?"

"...Come on. You better go home."

Scully walked through a path the crowd was making. Mulder followed saying, "Merry Christmas Bill." A few smirks and stiffled laughs from the audience. Ms. Scully said, "Nice having you over Fox. Hope you can come over again soon."

Scully walked Mulder to the door and said her good-byes, and apoligizing for Bill. Muldergot into his car and cursed at himself. He put the key into the enigion and turned the key.

And nothing happened. He tried again. A faint studder then nothing.

Of course.

He got back out and went to the door. He knocked three times and the door opened. Of course, Bill answered the door.

"What are you doing back?" he asked, sneering.

"Can you please get Scully, please."

Bill stared at him then turned his head away from the door, saying, "Dana!"

He closed the door and left Mulder out in the cold waiting for Scully. He put his hands in his pockets and waited for Scully to opened the door.

When she did, she looked a little pissed. About everything he guessed.

"My car won't start. Can I please have a ride?" he asked with a pitiful tone of voice.

Scully, without anwering back, grabbed her keyes then walked quickly outside and got into her car. She tapped her fingernails on the steering wheel as she waited for Mulder to get into the car. She looked at him angerly as he knocked at the window.

"Gees Scully, sorry. I just wanted you to unlock the door."

Scully kept a straight face. You had to if you wanted to get anywhere with Fox Mulder. She quickly unlocked the door and waited for him to be in.

"Seatbelt."

"Yes, ma'am."

He did what he was told and they were off with a start. After five minutes of silence Mulder started shaking a little. He was staring out the window so Scully couldn't see his face. She didn't want to know why he was shaking right now. She was so angry. Ugh, men.

Mulder's shaking turned into small, muffled giggles. Now Scully wondered what the hell he was doing.

"Mulder, what the hell are you doing?"

Mulder now sat back in his chair, face forward, laughing. Not an outburst, but suttle laughing. Still laughing though.

"Mulder why are you laughing?"

Mulder waited a second of laughing to answer, "You saved Christmas."

With a smart-ass comment and him laughing, Scully's mouth twisted into a small smile.

"You scolded us like a mother and we acted like punished little boys. What were we doing? You saved us anyway. You always save me. Scully my Savior."

Scully just smiled. When Mulder calmed down a little he said, "Honestly Scully. In a fight between me and your brother, who do you think would win?"

"Mulder!"

"Come on, perfectly harmless question."

"No its not Mulder. You just asked me if you could win a fight against my brother."

"No I didn't. I asked you who do you think would win."

"Mulder..."

Mulder waited for her answer. She giggled a little. Mulder smiled.

"What?" Mulder asked.

"Just imagining a fight between you two, punches and all..."

Mulder got the picture in his head too.

Scully continued, "And me stepping in breaking you two up, beating you both up in the process."

Mulder saw that too. He started laughing slightly and so was Scully. After a minute or three of that they calmed down...and sat in silence. Both still had a smile on their face though, all the way to Mulder's apartment.


Mulder's apartment
8:21 P.M.

Mulder opened the passenger door and was about to get out when he asked, "Want to come up for eggnog or something?"

Scully was a little surprised by this suggestion, but said, "Sure." She turned off the car and got out of the car. Mulder was already out and met her at her door.

They walked up to Mulder's apartment and he opened the door. Scully stepped in after Mulder and looked around the small living room in front of her. Mulder quickly went into the kitchen.

Scully walked into the living room and looked at the small tree decorated with various ornaments. One had an inscription saying 'Christmas 1981', Samantha's last Christmas.

Scully felt sorry for Mulder. He would keep on looking for her till he gets what he wants. She was glad that this year he hasn't been so down though. She looked around at the other charms hanging from the trees. Mostly small balls of red and silver. One caught her attention though. It was an alien dressed as Santa. Scully giggled to herself, but Mulder heard her.

"What are you laughing at?" he asked.

Scully almost jumped out of her skin. Again, he surprised her. "Oh, um, this ornament." She lightly touched the alien.

Mulder smiled slightly, now oblivious to the cups in his hands. "Oh, that. I found that where I found my 'I Want To Believe' poster about two years after I actually got the poster."

"When did you get the poster?"

Mulder's face went blank. He honestly didn't know, he forgot.

"Mulder?"

Mulder broke out of his little trance of thinking, then remembered the cups. "Oh, sorry. I don't have any eggnog, but here's some iced tea."

Of course, Scully thought, then said, "Perfect for the holidays," aloud.

Another smile from Mulder.

"Who got you the gifts?" Scully said pointing to the two gifts under the small tree on his coffee table.

Mulder now hesitated saying, "Oh, umm?"

Scully picked up one. It said,
To: Fox.
From: Your mom

"Sweet," Scully said.

"Yeah, I guess. She is on vacation right now. She gave me that last time I saw her."

Scully just nodded her head. She was about to reach for the other one when Mulder got it before her. She was a little surprised by his quick movements.

"Mulder?"

"Merry Christmas Scully," Mulder said handing Scully the gift.

Scully was shocked. She looked Mulder in the eyes saying 'thank you' and 'what the hell' at the same time. Her eyes kept on Mulder's as she took the gift. Mulder's eyes read 'I hope she likes it' and 'I'm an idiot' at the same time. Scully finally broke eye contact and began to open it. Mulder reached out and place his hand on her's. Scully looked up again.

"Do not open til Christmas, Scully," he said, smiling his crooked smile when he was talking.

Scully opened her mouth to protest, but then realized she wouldn't win and smiled, shaking her head slightly.

"So," Mulder said as he took his hand off Scully's, "Are you going to the midnight mass with your family?"

"Actually, yes, I am going this year. Why?"

"Trying to make conversation," Mulder responded honestly, or, at least, trying to make it sound honest.

Scully smiled, then her face looking like she remembered something. She put her hand into the big pocket of her coat and pulled out a gift. Mulder's face looked confused until she pulled out a rectangular shape boxed wrapped in Christmas paper. She the n passed it to Mulder.

"Ah, Scully. You shouldn't have."

"When you open it, you'll know why I did."

Mulder had no idea what she was talking about. He was about to pry into it when she put her hand on top of Mulder's, which was eager to rip the wrappings to shreds. Mulder felt his heart skip a beat and he brought his eyes back to Scully's.

"Do not open til Christmas."

Mulder's face then looked amused and Scully took her hand off of Mulder's. He then set the present under the small tree.

"What was your Christmas wish as a kid, Scully?"

Scully looked to his side in thought. "I don't know," she returned her gaze to Mulder, "I guess the same as most children. To wake up on Christmas morning to find a lot of presents under the tree just for them. Kids are selfish."

Mulder smiled.

"What did you want for Christmas this year?" Scully asked, then took a sip of her drink.

Mulder thought now. "The truth, Scully," he pretended to be dramatic, "All I want is the truth."

Scully hung her head a little and smiled.

"And a pony," Mulder continued.

Scully started giggling which turned into light laughing. Mulder was laughing with her. He really cracked himself up.

Scully calmed down and had a smiled that glowed throughout the room.

"Well, I got to go. Thank you for the drink and the present. I'll see you Monday," Scully said as she gave Mulder the empty glass and headed towards the door.

"Okay," was Mulder's only reply.

Scully turned around again after she opened the door and saw Mulder walking towards her wanting to escort her out.

"Merry Christmas, Mulder."

Mulder smiled and grabbed the door as she walked into the hall. Then he said jokingly, "Bah humbug."

Scully looked over her shoulder but kept walking. "Bye Mulder."

"Merry X-mas Scully." Then Scully heard a door close.

She was smiling and shaking her head as she got on the elevator.

As soon as Mulder closed his door he escaped into his bedroom quickly.


When Scully got home she tossed her keys on her coffee table and looked at the gift from Mulder. She set it down underneath her little tree and hung up her coat. She made herself a cup a coffee with vanilla hazelnut cream instead of her regular one crea m no sugar. Then she sat down on her couch and clicked on the TV. After a minute of channel surfing she settled for the news. As it rambled about the year's hottest selling toy other than Beanie Babies, she kept glancing over at the gift from Mulder. Her eyes went from the news, to the gift, the news, the gift, news, gift. It was driving her crazy. She wanted to know what he had gotten her.

Mulder came out of his bedroom with tape in his hand. He set that down in his coffee table then got another glass of iced tea. He found his remote and settled on his couch. He had three hours to kill, so he clicked on the TV. As the news said somethin g about Beanie Babies the gift from Scully caught his eye. He picked it up and held it in his hand, now not paying any attention to the television. He looked it over then noticed a gift tag on what seemed to be the top. He held the wrapped, rectangular box in his hands and read the tag. It said;

'Mulder- I thought you could use a good one in your "collection." Merry Christmas Spooky. -Scully.'

Mulder smiled at the fact that she called him Spooky, then got to thinking. "Collection," rectangular shaped box. She wouldn't. Would she? She couldn't. Could she? Nah, not Scully. Not Miss Goodie Two-Shoes of the FBI. But then again?

He couldn't wait till Christmas. He ripped open the red and silver wrapping. A white box. He didn't even notice it. Who knows what was in it. He cursed at himself that his Oxford educated brain couldn't even get the concept that there was tape on the box and that's why it wasn't opening up easily. When he finally got it open he looked inside. A tie.

Scully couldn't help herself. She took the gift and read the tag before she opened it. It read;

'To: Ice Queen'

She thought, "Figures Mulder." Then she got back to reading.

'From: Spooky'

Scully smiled at the tag, then neatly took off the wrapping. A box. It looked like a jewelry box. She felt her face giving an idiotic smile as she opened the box. Then she found something unexpected. A note?

'I told you not to open til Christmas. :)'

After she read the note she cursed at Mulder to herself, smiled and kicked herself for doing exactly what he thought she would do. There was nothing else in it. She closed the box and set it back under her tree. Then put her attention back to the news.

"Merry Christmas Scully/Mulder," both agents said to each other in their heads.

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