Title: If Wishes Were Horses
Author: Annette Gisby
Written: August 2000
Spoilers: Je Souhaite and Requiem
Keywords: MSR

Summary: How Scully's family take the news.


Mulder's. It's got to be Mulder's. Anything else just doesn't bear thinking about. But if it is Mulder's, why can't I even remember making love with him?

I want to remember. I want to know how it felt for him to take me in his arms, to take me over the edge. I can imagine it, but it isn't the same as a memory. It's just a fantasy, not real. I want it to be real.

Skinner looks shocked at the news. The questions he holds back, except for one.

"Is it...?"

I nod my head. Mulder's. It has to be Mulder's.

And then it comes to me in a flash. Is it memory or imagination?

Me, in Mulder's apartment asking him what his third wish was. He just smiled at me and wouldn't tell. We were sitting on his couch drinking beer and watching a movie. "Caddyshack" I think it was.

"Guy movie," I said.

"Well, the next time I'm in your apartment, we can watch 'steel Magnolias'," and he gave me a rare gift, one of his real smiles, all teeth and glittering eyes. I don't know why it happened that night, rather than any other. It wasn't the first time we sat down to watch a movie together. But it was the first time that we didn't get to see the end.

I remember kisses, long and deep, rough and gentle. I remember the creak of leather as he came closer to me on the couch. Most of all I remember the smell of him, of us together. And what he said after.

"You, Scully. I wished for you."

I close my eyes against the tears that threaten. He should be here. He should get to share this news. Why didn't I know sooner? If I'd known sooner, he would know too. And he wouldn't have gone chasing after that damn spacehsip!

Why Mulder? Why did they want Mulder?

I hear a commotion in the hall and realise Skinner is not my only visitor. My mother and Bill are in the hallway outside the room and Bill looks ready to punch someone. Probably Mulder, but he won't get the chance. Mulder is saved that at least. But I still wish Mulder was here.

If wishes were horses, then beggars could ride. If wishes were space- ships, then I could rescue Mulder. But wishes don't come true just like that, and I haven't seen a genie in the vicinity recently.

They come in, my mother all heistant smiles when she sees Skinner.

"I'll call in tomorrow, Agent Scully," says Skinner, back to boss mode as he tactfully withdraws and leaves me to the mercy of my family.

"Are you okay, Dana? We heard about Fox. I'm so sorry," says Mom.

"He'll be back," I say with more certainty than I feel.

"What was wrong? Did the doctors find out?" demands Bill. "It's because of him, isn't it? What did he do to you?"

I can't help it. I just can't seem to stop smiling through the tears.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" shouts Bill, his face red.

"Nothing is wrong with me. I'm fine. Absolutely fine." My mother looks at me and suddenly she smiles. She knows, even without me telling her, she knows.

"Oh, Dana! Are you sure?"

"Yes."

"Congratulations!"

"Will someone tell me what is going on?" Bill can't stand it, that he doesn't know. I don't want to tell him. He'll spoil it, like he spoils everything.

"Dana's pregnant," my mom patiently explains, the grin still on her face.

"And that's good news, is it? It may have escaped your notice but Dana isn't married. When was the last time you've been to confession, Dana? Eh? Did you confess this sin of yours?"

"Bill, this is hardly the time..." began my mother, but Bill was on a roll. Oh, he'd been waiting for this day for a long time. Saint Dana finally fell off her pedestal and he was here to gloat.

"Lust is one of the seven deadly sins, Dana, or have you forgotten that too?"

"It wasn't lust," I say quietly. It was love, and he knows it, but he wouldn't admit that. "This is one of the best things that has happened to me and you want to make it into something sordid. Well, I'm sorry if you feel that it is. But I am not sorry I slept with Mulder and I am not sorry I'm going to have his baby. There is nothing sordid about two people loving each other."

"Love? You wouldn't know the meaning of the word!"

"Bill, that's enough!" Mom doesn't like to see us fight. "Apologise to your sister!"

"I will not! You're nothing but a common whore, Dana. His whore."

The slap was shocking, all the more because it came from my mother. Bill's face has a shiny palm print on his cheek and he looks dazed, as if he can't quite believe it happened.

"You're only angry because what I said is true." With that, he stalked out, leaving me and my mother looking awkwardly at each other.

"He didn't mean it, Dana." But it's too late for apologies. I know he meant it and so does she.

I don't care anymore. All I want is to find Mulder and say those words to him, to see his face when he knows.

"Mulder, we're going to have a baby."

THE END feedback lovingly tended at penguin2@cableinet.co.uk check out my x-files fanficiton at http://homepages.which.net/~annette.gisby/index.htm

=============================================================================== "If Wishes Were Horses" by Gisby, Annette

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