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Title: Year of Election Copyright: all copyrights are owned by other people. Any character from The X-Files belongs to Chris Carter & Co. Any other characters probably belong to other X-Philes in which case I'm in trouble anyway. Go figure. As I am very poor, please do not sue me. Summary: Mulder and Scully for President in '96? It could happen, only if Mulder and Scully can resolve their UST... Requested by Juliettt (so you can blame her, too) FBI Headquarters The room was almost empty now, except for them. Shredded wrapping paper covered the floor, and half-opened boxes were strewn over their desks. Mulder's surprise birthday turned out not to be much of a surprise. It seemed Byers, Langly and Frohike decided not to use their official passes Scully had bartered to get for them; they wanted to check out HQ security on their own. It turned out security at the Hoover Building was rather tight and efficient. Someone knew Mulder was an associate of the Lone Gunmen and brought him in for the interrogation session. If they hadn't been caught, Mulder would have been genuinely surprised: he didn't know he had that many friends in the Bureau. Actually, he didn't. Scully paid for the cake on her own, and an offer of free food can never be ignored. Mulder had finally gotten around to eating the cake. He pushed his fork down to scoop another piece to his mouth, but stopped in mid-swing when Scully came up close and faced him. They stayed that way for a few seconds, eyes interlocking with each other's, before Scully grinned and glanced away. "Well, Mulder," she whispered, bringing her stare back toward his. "You're 35 today. Feeling old yet?" "Nope. I feel great, Scully. Thanks." "So. What did you wish for? When you blew out the candles?" Mulder gently smiled. "If I tell you, it won't come true..." "You can tell me, Mulder." Scully gently smiled back. "I'm your partner." Mulder thought about it. "Okay," he whispered, placing his plate on his desk. He leaned closely toward her, whispering. "Okay, Scully, what I wished for..." "Yes?" she whispered back, half-expecting the answer already, almost dreading it, almost wanting it, her heart racing... "...I wished to be President," he murmured. Scully took a minute to slow her heart down before responding. "President? Of what?" Mulder leaned back. "Think about it, Scully. As President, I can have access to all top security secrets..." "But..." "I could use resources to re open investigations into Ufos, this time with civilian controls..." "But..." "I could finally find out who Cancerman Really is and have his ass fired on the spot..." "But..." "Wouldn't that be nice?" Mulder smiled innocently. Scully sighed in defeat. "Yeah, sure." Mulder glanced about. "Oh, no offense, Scully, but I don't see your present here. Which one was it?" Scully glanced over to her trench coat, which was covering a small bag from Victoria's Secrets. "Oh. Um, I want to get you some more fish, but I wanted to check which types you want first..." One Month Later "What?" Scully snarled into the phone, nervously pacing through the basement. She listened to the voice on the other end try to calm her. She refused. "No. Absolutely not. Not a chance in hell." She slammed the phone down, knocking it off the desk. She placed both hands on her head and forced herself to keep from screaming. "Scully," someone whispered from the other end of the room, near the doorway. She turned to face Mulder, who stood there with a forlorn expression. He must have not realized how she would react to the news about Mulder's offer to replace his currently-arrested congressman, and now... Scully felt some anger at him for a second, but she soon noticed that he was now willing to accept that from her, accept any hurt he may have caused... "You already accepted?" she whispered, more a statement than a question. He silently nodded. Scully couldn't contain her anger anymore. "So you're just going to give up, aren't you? You'll just leave this whole goddamn mess behind..." "No, of course not," Mulder whispered, walking closer to her. "I'm just moving to another part of the battlefield." "How can you be so sure this way will work any better?" Scully almost snarled, forcing back her tears. "I'm not," he replied. "Other congressmen have tried to get the documentation and failed, but I know where to look..." "You're just making yourself a more noticeable target. Dammit, Mulder, you're getting yourself into bigger trouble and you're deliberately walking into it." "Perhaps. If this doesn't work out, Scully, I can always come back." Scully shook her head. "You can say that now, but it wasn't so long ago you swore to keep The X-Files open. If you leave, what justification do they have to keep it in my hands? And who knows what kind of agent they could send in to replace you..." "I already asked Skinner about that. They're sending in Hasker from Violent Crimes. He's good, and he respects you a lot more than me. And I'll keep an eye out for you from the Hill..." "How can I be sure about that, dammit? How can I trust you when I feel I don't know you anymore?" Mulder moved in very close to her, gently raising a hand and rubbing a finger against her chin. It forced her to lock eyes with him, letting her know by his glance that nothing between them has really changed. "Scully. Just remember, I trust you. I always will." With that, Mulder turned and headed for the door. "Mulder," Scully whispered to him as he left, "just remember, you may think they've given you power but they'll do what they can to keep you on a leash." He nodded and silently walked away. March 1996 Scully glanced at the front page and smiled when she saw Mulder's picture on the front page again. My God, she thought to herself, the media is loving him to death. Mulder had used his first full month as a member of Congress making a mockery of everything and getting away with it. His intensity kept getting Mulder into trouble with the hierarchy but his wit and honesty kept him in the public's favor. Those paparazzi shots of him in his Speedos didn't hurt either. Word was both parties in his district were begging him to renounce his independent status and join their banner. Of course, the extremists showed no love for him. Rush Limbaugh practically accused Mulder of being a lunatic for his belief in alien abductions (along with Mulder's more progressive views). Mulder deflected that by making his sister's disappearance publicly known, showing the personal scars from that tragedy while saying he sought to do what he could to be more than a`victim'. The liberals also hated him for his anti-bureaucratic positions, but said little because Mulder was thankfully anti-Buchanan as well. There was a knock at the door, and Scully smiled when she saw who it was. "Hello, Congressman. I hate to tell you, I'm not from your district so my vote's no good." "Well, then, I should forget about that bribe of a good lunch," Mulder smiled back. "Does everyone in Martha's Vineyard get that deal?" "Actually, no. They get Happy Meals." "So what brings you back, Mulder?" "You." Scully arched an eyebrow in surprise. "This better be good, Mulder." He smiled. "No. You wanted me to check back in, and so I'm checking back in." He tossed a folder onto Scully's desk. "I just brought that along as a bonus." Scully picked up the file. "What is it?" "Take a look. We just declassified it this morning." Scully reacted apprehensively to the word `declassified'. She quickly pulled out a few papers from the folder and almost bolted from her chair. "Oh MY GOD. This can't be real, Mulder." "It is. I pulled it straight out of the hands of our friend with the Morleys." Scully scowled at him. "He could always fake something, you know..." "Our congressional committee received a lot of other folders as well. We just need someone to confirm the reports as to their authenticity and relevancy." "Meaning me." "Meaning us, Scully. " Mulder smiled. "This is what I've waited for, what I've wanted for you, ever since we met. This is it. The proof. The Truth." Two Weeks Later There was a knock at the door of Scully's apartment. It took Scully a few minutes to answer the door, yawning and rubbing her face. "Hello?" Two burly men stared at her, then turned away to let a third man come to the door. Although they had never personally met, she knew who it was. Mulder's former benefactor Senator Matheson tipped his hat to Scully. "Is Mulder here?" "Um..." she hesitated. "It's not what you think..." "Oh?" he smiled. "You mean he's not here to help with the MJ declassification for the House committee?" "I'm here," Mulder answered from the living room. Matheson stepped past Scully into her home. The two bodyguards remained outside. Matheson found Mulder half-covered in documentation: he had accidentally left a folder in his lap as he fell asleep on Scully's couch. "Busy night, Fox?" Matheson gently smirked. "One sofa's as good as another," Mulder replied. "How's the investigation going?" "Slowly. We've only confirmed about five out of a hundred documents..." "Hmm. The Senate investigation is moving somewhat more slowly..." "That can't be helped, Senator. You're too busy securing your party's nomination for the White House." Matheson picked up some files from a chair and took a seat. "I guess it's a question of priorities, then." Scully stood in the doorway, waiting for something. "Can I get you anything, Senator?" "I'm not here for long. I just wanted a few words with Fox here." "About what?" Mulder asked. "My campaign. With Dole out for health reasons and Buchanan completely unsuitable for the whole country, I pretty much have a smooth ride to San Diego..." "I'm sorry. What does this have to do with me?" "I want you on my team, Fox. I'm forming a shadow cabinet to match myself up to Clinton point for point." Mulder glanced silently at Scully. "Fox, I need someone I can trust. There's not many people in Washington I can place that high on my team." Scully answered for Mulder. "What position?" Mulder whispered sternly, "Scully..." Matheson glanced between them. "I'm considering you for either Attorney General or NSA." Mulder sat quietly for a second. "I'll need to think about it." Matheson nodded as he stood. "I need an answer by Friday. Thank you." He wordlessly left the room and seconds later exited the apartment. Scully silently walked to her coffee table and started picking up loose documents and folders. Mulder sat on her sofa, one hand to his mouth, tapping the folder in his hands against one knee. He quietly spoke just as Scully turned away from him. "I was going to tell him `no', Scully." Scully answered without turning. "It's a big offer, Mulder. You need to know what your options are." "I promised to work on this, and I want to keep my word to you..." "Well, what do you want, Mulder?" Mulder stood. "I want the Truth, Scully. This was why I got into Congress, and this was why I came back to you." "But you've got it now. What we've already confirmed justifies your beliefs." "Scully..." "You've won this battle, Mulder." Scully turned to let him see the tears in her eyes. "You've proven to me the existence of life from other worlds. That's what you wanted, wasn't it?" Mulder moved closer. "There's a lot more to that..." "Your sister. I know..." "No, more than that, too..." "But there are other battles now. I've seen you, Mulder. You're good at this. You cut to the truth of issues and stick to your convictions. A lot of people like that. And if you can get the government to open up on its biggest secrets, then you could get it to do a lot of other things." "Scully, I..." "Mulder," Scully wiped her tears away. "Promise me you'll think about it." Mulder placed both hands on her cheeks. He kissed her full on the mouth and then whispered, "I promise." Part Two March 1996 "So," Scully asked, the phone cradled between her shoulder and her ear. "What are you going to do?" "I don't know," Mulder spoke into his cellular. "I'm still thinking about it." "No, I understand." Scully nodded. "You need more time." "Well, I'll call you back when the decision's made," Mulder whispered before hanging up. Scully gently placed her phone back on top her bedside cabinet before rolling toward the other end of the bed. "What did Matheson say?" Mulder shrugged and rolled toward her, gently rubbing his hand over her smooth backside while wrapping one leg over hers. "He's real persistent. I don't think he'll take `no' for an answer. Who was that on your phone?" "Oh, Hasker said he can't make it today to pick up those evaluations we made last night. Temporary manpower shift to cover that jewelry heist in New York." "So that gives us more time to finish the paperwork, huh?" "Ahem, Mulder, who said anything about paperwork?.." Early may a growing throng of reporters encircled Mulder as he tried to make his way down the back stairs of the Capitol. Many of them shouted his name as the ones closest to him actually tried to ask questions over the noise. "Excuse me, excuse me," Mulder smirked. "I didn't know a constitutional amendment proposal could create such a riot." "Sir, but sir," one reporter successfully shouted, "Such a massive political reform package has never made it past the committee hearing to make a floor vote." Mulder shrugged. "All I can say is that there are enough people in Congress now who recognize the responsibility they have to their constituents to reform a highly critizied part of the electoral process. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm sure there are other congresspersons who love getting assaulted like this. Oh, by the way, I love those bright lights you got for the cameras..." Mulder was able to shake most of the reporters as he finally made his way down the stairs. One reporter and her camera crew, however, stuck with him. "But of course," the reporter asked, microphone close to Mulder's chest, "there's no way the entire House and Senate would approve of limiting Pacs, making fair television access free, eliminating the age limits of candidates... Every lobbyist in the city is screaming for your head. And some of the civil liberties groups are worried about your speech retrictions on advertising." "Well," Mulder replied, "As I stated before, advertising is advertising. We have restrictions on products advertising to protect consumers, so why not have restrictions on political advertising to protect voters? And we're only limiting candidates to avoid any mention of their opponents or opposing parties, and force them to promote their own people and issues. The purpose here is to eliminate negative campaigning." "But eliminating the age restrictions on candidates?" "One of the problems with voter turnout is the apathy of young voters. I believe many of them may become more interested in the electoral process if they were given opportunities to run as well as vote." "What if an 18-year-old becomes President?" "I have faith in the American voters to choose whomever is best qualified to be President, regardless of their age." "Speaking of who's qualified..." "Here we go," Mulder rolled his eyes. "With San Deigo still months away, there is heavy speculation on who Senator Matheson may choose for his running partner." "I cannot comment on the Senator's personal decisions. I'm sure he'll choose what is best for his party and his campaign." "But as you're in his inner circle of advisors, you must have an idea as to the top candidates for veep," the reporter persisted. "Well, Bruce Springsteen was mentioned..." "You're joking," the reporter first smirked, then frowned as Mulder gave her his patented blank stare. Mulder finally grinned from ear to ear. "Gotcha. Actually, we're working on getting Elvis. We hear he's up in Alaska right now..." Matheson shook his head as he turned off the television set. In the background, Mary Matilin was arguing with two men (one of them Anonymous) over advertising costs. Mulder arched an eyebrow. "What, Elvis turned you down, Senator?" "Actually, Fox, I'm amazed at how you were able to squeak that amendment package through the committee. Johnson and Kitson were certainly against it." Mulder shrugged. "In a few days, the entire country will hear about a political scandal involving 12 lobbyists and three corporations. Johnson and two others on the committee are going to turn state's evidence. Kitson has quietly agreed not to run for another term." "Your doing?" Matheson said, stunned. Mulder shook his head. "Skinner's been investigating quietly for years. Documentation will back him up. I had nothing to do with it." "Your guardian angel must be working overtime, Fox." "I hope not. I told Scully to get some rest last night." "Regarding the vice president opening, Fox..." "Oh, yeah, that. Well, I've talked with Alexander and Keyes. Alexander has no problems with it, but Keyes wants full commitment to a pro-life platform..." "And Powell?.." "Forget it. He might take a Cabinet position when we get in..." "If we get in...Fox, I want to tell you something." Mulder shrugged, puzzled. "Sure." "Some of our polls are coming back with your name on it." Mulder sat still. "A lot of the voters love your commitment to reform..." Mulder remained silent. "You're telegenic, you work well with the media..." Mulder quietly arched both eyebrows. "Those photos of you in the Speedos didn't hurt..." "Now I know you're joking." "Not about the Speedos." Mulder sat forward, shaking his head. "Look, Senator, I made promises to keep working on the UFO documents..." "Dana will understand..." "No, she won't. It's not...." Mulder sighed, then shrugged. "I've made a commitment to her. A major commitment." Matheson arched his eyebrows. "So that's what you meant about Scully being your angel..." He turned to the others in the room. "Hey, everybody! Fox finally got laid." As everybody else cheered and whistled, Mulder sank his head between his hands. "Now I'm definitely rejecting your offer..." Two Weeks Later Scully rubbed her eyes as she began planning violent reprisals to the person calling her at 2 a.m. "You have five seconds to prove I shouldn't hunt you down," she finally snarled into the phone. "Scully," Byers calmly spoke on the other end. "We need your help. We think an attempt will be made on Mulder's life." Denver Scully slowly weaved her way through the crowd. She kept glancing for signs of a Secret Service presence, but was unable to see any. She had called ahead to the local Denver office, trying to inform them of the threat the Lone Gunman staff uncovered. She was told the district officer was on station at Matheson's speech downtown, and that she could meet him there. But there was no sign of him. Scully suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. She turned quickly to see it was Mulder. "Oh, thank God it's you." "Scully, I got your call," he shouted over the crowd. "I got some of the Service people covering the back exits so we can get Matheson out of here." "No, Mulder," she shook her head. "The death threat's on you, not him." "Oh." Mulder glanced about, suddenly realizing how dangerous it was for him now. "Still, we're going to get him out of here as soon as we can. I'll go check on that now..." Mulder gently pushed his way past Scully, taking a second to raise one hand and caress her chin with his fingers. She watched him weave into the pressing throng that surrounded their candidate, and then turned to see if she could spot any unusual person or persons. She turned back to watch Mulder try and whisper something to Matheson, who was still shaking hands with some of his supporters. The first shot suddenly sent the entire room into silence. The second shot echoed through that silence, which quickly turned into screaming confusion. Scully was moving toward Mulder as soon as she heard the first shot. It was hard as people were moving away from the center, where it was obvious where the target of gunfire would stand. She didn't pull her gun yet, waiting to find the shooter. "Scully!" someone shouted as a third shot echoed through the building. "Scully! Up! Look up!" Scully glanced upwards, spotting a shadowy figure in the rafters. She pulled her gun and aimed into the darkness. A fourth shot suddenly rang out, and Scully felt a quick twinge on her shoulder. She ignored the pain and fired. The figure above her shuddered and disappeared. She took a second to glance to her right, thinking there might be blood. Instead she saw shreds of foam from a now-ruined shoulder pad. She glanced back to the rafters, then glanced to where Mulder and Matheson were standing. They were no longer standing... "Oh, God! Mulder!" she screamed as she ran toward them. She grabbed at Mulder, pulling him off of Matheson: like a good soldier, his first instinct was to protect someone else. Scully quickly felt something wet between her fingers, but she tried to focus instead on checking Mulder's body for...Oh, God, she felt the wound close to Mulder's chest... "Ow," Mulder gently whispered. "Don't...don't tickle me there..." "Mulder?" Scully whispered back, cradling him in her arms. "Just lie still. Help is coming. Just lie still..." "Should have kept...that bullet proof...vest from work..." "Shhhh..." "...Matheson?.." Scully glanced over to the senator, and noticed he was attempting to lift himself by his arms. She could also see two bloodied stains on the back of his jacket. "Sir," she shouted out to him. "Please, lie still. Help is coming..." She suddenly heard the stampede of footsteps. She turned in relief, thinking it would be Secret Service or emergency crews. Instead, she was immediately blinded by the bright worklights of camera crews. "No...No, dammit, get away!" Scully tried to shout over the din of reporters. She soon saw some Service agents trying to shove the reporters back, and suddenly felt a wet hand against her leg, like someone covered in blood was trying to reach her. Senator Matheson, two huge holes in his chest, was doing his best to breath and talk. "Mulder...Mulder you...take care of the... campaign...I..." He collapsed and a Secret Service agent knelt down to check on him, but Matheson kept his grip firm on Scully's leg. With blood drooling from the corner of his mouth, he stuttered, "Mulder...Mulder you're the...only one I...I can trust..." Scully leaned against the wall, refusing a cup of coffee for the third time in two hours. She avoided all of the cameras and reporters that came up to her, seeking interviews and comments and statements, ignoring the vacant speeches some of them made about her heroic shooting of the alleged would-be assassin while she stood in the background. She didn't feel that heroic. For all she knew, two men were dead, one of them her...partner... "Excuse me," a familiar voice spoke next to her, "would you be interested in a photograph?" "Not now," she snarled back, just as a large black-and-white image was shoved under her nose. She suddenly recognized the image as one of the upper stands from the convention center, from the other side of the rafters where the assassin stood. To one side of the photo you could see the large crowd suddenly dispersing, almost after that first shot. To the other side you could see someone close to the shadows raising a weapon, not toward the rafters but toward...Mulder... "Wait, there's some light on his face..." Scully suddenly noticed. "Yup." Another photo was shoved into her hands. The image of the second gunman had been enlarged. The face became clearer in that shard of light, and she could recognize who it was... "What the?," she whispered as she finally looked up to see Frohike, Langly and Byers standing there, all of them sweating and out of breath. "We rushed these photos. Knew you'd need 'em quick," Frohike grinned. "How...how the hell did you guys know where to look?" Scully gasped. "Same way we knew there was an attempt," Byers answered. "Our source said there'd be another gunman opposite the first one..." Scully almost snarled in anger. "You could have stopped this! You could have warned me where they were!" "We couldn't," Byers whispered grimly. "Our source said if we intervened directly, his cover would have been blown." "apparently, he's high up in the conspiracy," Langly said. "If this one has even half a conscience, we don't want to lose him." "I know Mulder might die," Byers added. "And I'm sorry. We had hoped an early warning would have made protection a little easier..." "Okay," Scully replied. "Hindsight is more powerful than foresight, but I swear, if Mulder dies..." "We know, we're dead," all three Lone Gunmen replied. Scully nodded in silence and headed into the crowd surrounding the hospital's media room. The crowd had been growing as rumors were circulating about Matheson. Scully didn't like it, but she had hoped to find the Secret Service district supervisor before anything was announced. She spotted him at the podium. "Now, people, all we have now on the suspect is that he was Alex Krycek, formerly of the FBI until unspecified charges were brought against him. We have reason to believe his attack this afternoon was more against Congressman Fox Mulder, who was at the FBI at that time and is believed to have made those charges..." Scully pushed her way to the podium as voices from the crowd offered questions. "Yes," the district supervisor answered one of them. "We are following up leads as to where Krycek was residing up to this afternoon. I admit it will be difficult to determine actual motives with the suspect DOA..." "Sir, sir, what about the condition of Senator Matheson?" came from most of the questioning reporters. "Well, the head of the surgical team should be available for your questions at the proper time...excuse me..." Scully had reached the supervisor and had secured a grip on his shoulder. "Sir, we need to talk." The district supervisor nodded and waved to the reporters. They stepped away from the podium and turned for a secured hallway far from the cameras. "So you must be agent Scully," the supervisor smiled. "That was a good shot you pulled off, nailing Krycek in the throat like that..." "I would like to talk to you regarding the position of all field agents at the event," Scully flatly stated. The supervisor shrugged, suddenly on the defensive. "Look, security issues will be covered in the investigation. Treasury's sending in their teams now. I admit, we screwed up somewhere, question is..." "Question is, who was covering the upper seating area?" Scully interrupted. "Excuse me?" "Who was assigned to the upper seating area?" "Well, that would be Kittinger..." "Is Kittinger here?" Scully quickly announced into the hallway. "Yeah," one of the Secret Service agents raised his hands. "But, uh, no, I was told to cover the drive ramps for the exit. West was supposed to cycle in..." "Hey," one of the other agents, apparently West, interrupted. "Nobody called for me!..." "Well, someone was in the upper seating area," Scully answered, handing the photos to Kittinger. "Because that's a Secret Service agent holding the high-powered rifle." Kittinger took one glance at the enlarged photo of the rifleman's face and then glanced at the supervisor. "Jesus!..." "Sir, is that you holding..." Scully started to accuse the district supervisor of being the second gunman, but stopped as the man pulled his handgun from his shoulder holster. She grabbed the gun and angled his arm away from herself, feeling him wrap his other arm around her neck. Kittinger quickly raised his gun into the supervisor's face. "Sir, drop your weapon! Now!" The supervisor smiled and relaxed his grip on Scully, long enough to put his hand behind her back and shove her into the other agents. He quickly raised his gun in the air and fired, making everyone instinctively duck as he ran down the hallway. "Dammit," Scully whispered, pulling her own gun out. She and the others quickly pursued him toward the far end. The supervisor slammed a door open and then forced it closed behind him. Scully quickly hurried her pace, fearing this might give him a chance to... Another gunshot echoed through the hallway. Scully stopped running and lifted her head to the heavens. "Dammit! No!" The Secret Service agents kept going, not yet realizing what they would see behind that door... Washington, DC "This," Senator Bob Dole said. "is messy." "That is an understatement, sir," Skinner replied. Dole stood, shaking his head. "It's amazing how a democracy can try to remain strong when its leaders chosen by the many can be mowed down by the few." Skinner had no reply for that. With his good hand, Dole gripped his drink as he stared out the window overlooking the capitol. "If he was already president, the country would have mourned, a new leader chosen, and the Constitution would have kept things going. If the primaries were still on, another candidate could take his place. But damn it all, Matheson was chosen." "Another primary, then?" One of Dole's aides asked. Dole shook his head. "Too late. Half the year's already gone. Too much momentum has been lost, and too much personal vemon spilled between the candidates to try that again with the voters. And while Bob Dole likes a good fight..." He sighed. "The only proper thing now is the convention, but by God what a mess that will be." Dole returned to his seat. "Buchanan's swearing to make it a holy war in San Diego. Alexander still has some support, but Forbes hasn't committed to anything yet. And then there's Mulder..." "Is that why I'm here?" Skinner asked. Dole glanced away for a second. "With his dying breath, Matheson asked Mulder to take care of his campaign. Some of the voters went for that, thinking he meant Mulder to take over for the campaign. And then, Matheson was leaning toward Mulder to take the veep job in the first place..." He sipped his drink before continuing. "Mulder's a wild card in this now. I've watched him. He's good with the cameras, and he's good in debate, I'll grant you that. Handled himself real well getting that amendment through Congress. Met him once or twice, seems bright." "But?.." Skinner glanced away, waiting for the question. "But can he be expected to go by the party line? Is he going to make this any harder than it is?" Skinner took a minute to figure out how to answer that. "Mulder has always answered to his own principles and priorities." Dole nodded. "Damn. I thought so." He sipped some more of his drink. "Gonna be one mess of a convention." New York "I need permission to remove Mulder," the Smoking Man calmly stated, lighting another cigarette. The others in the room remained silent until the Clean Cut Man finally spoke. "You didn't need our permission to kill that presidential candidate, did you?" "That," the Smoking Man quietly puffed, "was an accident." "No, but you apparently did not care for the consequences." He pulled the newspaper cover from the table next to his seat, flashing toward the Smoking Man a full page spread revealing the second assassin. "We're attempting to contain the damage right now," Cancerman whispered through the smoke. "This isn't 1963. Control of the entire telemedia market is difficult at best. With so many other political assassinations under scrutiny for conspiracies, you may very well have linked this one to us." "And we do not care for that," the German added. The Smoking Man took a second to look about the room, noticing the cold stares. "There was the possibility Mulder could have gained a high position if Matheson won. Do you realize what kind of threat Mulder poses if he gains any position of authority?" "Thanks to your work so far," the Clean Cut Man snarled, "He has now moved from obscurity to the head of a political campaign for the White House. With potential sympathy to boot." "I assure you, all of my actions have been to secure the secrecy of our works, and to the success of our project." The Clean Cut Man stood to face the Smoking Man. "It was not you but this committee which agreed to control the congressional investigation. It is we and not you who will assure that investigation will remain confidential as well as granting us approval under national security." "I have stated for the record it was dangerous..." "It was necessary. Too many people are now asking questions. If we provide them just this much, very slowly and assuredly, they can be made content with what they know." The Smoking Man blew a cloud of carcinogens into the Clean Cut Man's face. "And what of Mulder?" "As of now, that is no longer your concern." "Then what should I do?" The Clean Cut Man placed his hands behind him, imperiously. "We want your resignation. Immediately." The Smoking Man began to protest, but he recognized the stares he received from the others in the room. He had failed too many times for them, and now, this Mulder fiasco... He calmly dropped his cigarette to the floor. Stepping it out with one foot, he then turned and left. The Clean Cut Man nodded to one of the guards, who nodded in reply and followed after the Smoking Man. "Now then, gentlemen," the Clean Cut Man spoke as he retook his seat, "on to other matters..." San Diego "Feeling up to it?" Scully shouted over the deafening roar of the convention. "Thanks to the tender care of my doctor, sure," Mulder smirked back. It had been a hectic late summer. With the apparent suicide of their arch-nemesis Cancerman, Skinner's investigation into Matheson's assassination was nearly wrapped up. But that was nothing compared to Mulder's surprise showing in the polls. Most of Matheson's primary delegates had stated on record they would go with Matheson's final choice, while voters in general seem to pick up on Mulder's maverick wit. Buchanan and Dole had stormed the convention rallying their people, but word was too much support was toward Mulder. Mulder had spent much of this morning arguing in meetings over the party's eventual platform with the other leaders. Not much was agreed upon. They were now heading for another meeting, one involving the delegates. Buchanan had tried to bring up an obscure ruling and use it to its loosest interpretation to his advantage. Mulder was walking better without the cane now, and could even jog for short distances. Still, Scully grabbed tight to his elbow, still eager to be his support. "Gee, Scully, you think I have enough strength to open this door?" he whispered into her ear. "Go ahead. I dare you." She smirked back. He opened the door and stepped into a poorly-lit room. "Mr. Mulder. Ms. Scully," a familiar voice intoned. "Please close the door behind you." "You!" Scully almost snarled, reaching for her holster without realizing she wasn't allowed to carry her weapon here. "Shh," Mulder replied, closing the door. The Clean Cut Man stepped from the shadows into one of the few lights in the room. "It's good to see you again. I was afraid that assassination attempt would have been successful." "So it was you who warned the Lone Gunmen," Mulder whispered. Scully glanced at Mulder. "He's their source?" "I can assure you that our, ah, mutual friend with the cigarettes was operating without our approval. As I have told you before, we prefer other means of dealing with potential problems." "Why are you here?" Mulder flatly asked. The Clean Cut Man smiled. "Why, to congratulate you, of course. It's already been decided Buchanan's challenge is worthless. You have a clear path to the nomination now." "And?.." "And to speak with you regarding the congressional investigation into alien existence." "Ah." Mulder nodded to himself. "No deals." "Why, Mr. Mulder, you haven't even heard the offer yet." "No, but I have a pretty good idea what it is." Even Scully understood. "Samantha." "Yes," Mulder agreed. "My sister. I knew sooner or later in that investigation she was going to be brought up." "The fact is I can bring to you your sister unharmed..." "...And in return?" "All we want is your gratitude." Mulder tilted his head slightly. "My what?" "Your gratitude. From one friend to another." "You're not my friend." "Ah. But I could be." The Clean Cut Man walked closer. "My people understood that at some point secrets either lose their relevance to time, or their seclusion to accident or betrayal . When it became obvious too many people were searching for our secrets, we knew it was time to reveal the ones we could." "You still couldn't hide the fact that alien existence is irrefutable!..." Mulder challenged. "Of course, but then what secret is that?" Mulder scowled. "There's more, isn't there?" "That is unimportant. What is important is that you will need us." "Need you?" "Like it or not, there exists a shadow world within governments, hidden from the public and sometimes even the leaders. But it is necessary, considering the dangers of the world around us. It is also sadly inevitable." The Clean Cut Man shook his head. "The potential for power and empire building within those shadows is too tempting. You may remove us if you could, Mulder, regardless of your position in government, but there will be someone too eager to fill those shadows once we are gone." "Better the devil you know, is that what you're saying?" Mulder snarled. "Am I the devil? Or could I be any worse than the ones who will follow me?" Mulder turned away. He faced Scully, who stared at him worriedly. Should I? he thought to himself. He finally shook his head and smiled. "I've been looking for her all my life. And I'll still look for my sister regardless of what you offer me." The Clean Cut Man moved closer to them. "What would your sister think if she knew you threw away the best chance to bring her back into the world?" "She'll hopefully think I have a better way," Mulder answered. "No deals." The older man nodded. "I see. Good day, then. Once again, congratulations." He quietly walked past them, leaving Mulder and Scully in silence. It was a minute before Scully whispered, "What of Samantha?" Mulder nodded to her. "I know...I know. But what would you think of me if I had said yes to that?" "That you cared for your sister, perhaps." "I do care. But what good would I be to anyone if I was compromised? I'm not just talking about politics, I'm talking about my own identity, about whether or not I could live with myself..." Mulder moved closer to Scully, hugging her. "And like I said, I'll still look for my sister. She's still out there and there's others ways of finding her." "Well, that's going to be real hard for you if you've got another 9-to-5 job," Scully smirked. "I'm sure I can fit it into my schedule," Mulder replied. "Well, I'll make sure we at the FBI will keep a lookout for her..." "What's this `we'?" "Unlike you, Mulder, I have to go back to that basement..." "No you don't." Scully stared at him, puzzled. "You have a choice, you know." "I do?" "Yeah. You could be either vice president or first lady." Scully arched an eyebrow, then grinned like a maniac. "Can I be both?" "Shh. Don't give Hillary any ideas..." "Mulder, I'm not old enough to be vice-president!..." "Remember that amendment? Half the states are close to approving it, and most of the others will vote on it soon." Scully stared at Mulder in shock. "But still, would the voters approve?.." "Scully, you're the only one I can trust. If the voters want to trust me they can trust you, too." Scully scowled briefly. "Well, there's still that First Lady option..." "Hmm. Actually, I'm wondering about the ethical ramifications of becoming veep." "What ethical ramifications?" "Oh, well," Scully shrugged, "if I could be vice-president and still have sex with you from time to time..." "Ah. I admit that might never have come up before in Constitutional law issues..." They laughed briefly, then gently kissed. From the door, one could hear the muffled roar of the convention crowd raise its volume as the states began their delegate count... Sorta The End (Unless You Got a Better Idea...) From: z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us (Paul Wartenberg) Newsgroups: alt.tv.X-Files.creative Subject: NEW: Year of Election II:Advertising Campaign This is a sequel to "Year of Election," which should be available through the Gossamer archive. For those of you who missed Y of E, well, it's a what-if story where Mulder gets to be the GOP candidate for '96 (yeah, I know he's too nice to be Republican, but honestly there's no other party he could run for (and get real, you Libertarians, you never have a chance!...)) and chooses Scully (who in this story resolves her UST with Mulder) to be Veep. -- Paul Wartenberg-------------------- | z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us | I'm not a real person but I play -----All Done. Bye-Bye.----------- | one on the Internet. -----"Was that a girly scream?"---- | -----X-Files----------------------- | Copyright: all copyrights are owned by other people. Any character from The X-Files belongs to Chris Carter & Co. Any other character probably belong to other X-Philes in which case I'm in trouble anyway. Buchanan is real, but his positions are ludicrious and evil (That's right, I admit I'm a Moderate Republican. So There). As I am very poor, please do not sue me since you won't get any money. Year of Election II The Advertising Campaign by. Paul Wartenberg GOP Headquarters "Well, it's decided then," the first of the three in the room muttered, "we're stuck with a couple of rookies." "Oh, come on!" the second one replied. "The fact they're not career politicians gives them a good selling point to the public at large." "Our presidential candidate has had eight months of political experience," the first one huffed. "Not only that, but he was chosen by political hacks, never elected. And the only reason he chose Scully was to piss Buchanan off royally." "That's not what I heard," the third one whispered. "I'd heard they've started sleeping with each other." "Really?" "Yeah. And Mulder offered her a choice of veep or First Lady." "Why didn't she take both?" "Shh. Don't give Hillary any ideas!..." "Look, what I'm saying is that nobody's going to vote for a 29-year-old woman as vice president who has no qualifications for the job." "The new amendment removes age limits on the job, so she's clear. And besides, the veep doesn't Have any qualifications for the job. How else do you think Quayle got it?" "Oh, stop ragging on Dan. He had qualifications. He'd been elected to other offices. And he's not That stupid..." "Okay then, Agnew." "...All right. You got me on that one..." "Look, we're getting nowhere. We need to think up an ad campaign, and these are the candidates we got." "All right. All right. What are our selling points?.." "We've got those photos of Mulder in his Speedos..." "That'll cover the fashion mags. But the Family Values people will scream bloody murder over those things." "Well, what are his positive political images?" "He's smart. He's always done a number on the bigwigs on the talk show debates he'd done. He's got a maverick image at a time something like that really counts. His background as a federal agent makes him look good with the law and order crowd. Choosing his FBI partner, who apparently is the only one he trusts, shows he values loyalty and friendship." "And his negatives?" "People might want experience in the chief of state. He's chosen a veep with no political background. Considering he did so without regard to those in the GOP who wanted the job might cost him backroom support. Rumor has it his pro-choice stance has Buchanan planning his own party..." "Good riddance to bad garbage." "Hey! We'll lose some of our party votes!" "So what? The Dems divided up in '48 and still Truman won." "Good point." "Anything to add to the negatives?" "Yeah. Mulder thinks his sister was abducted by aliens." The room was silent for two minutes. "So we can count on the loony votes, then." "Hey, excuse me. Even Jimmy Carter believed in Ufos." "Look where it got him." "Into the White House. It's what he did once he got there that led to his defeat." "Is there any way we can turn that UFO thing into a positive?" "Only if Spielberg directs our ads." "Him? Really? I was kinda hoping Cameron or Ridley Scott could do 'em..." "C'mon, c'mon. We gotta start thinking here..." "How about `Believe in Mulder/Scully for 96'?" "Too dull." "Here's one. `Mulder/Scully 96: Trust Only Them'." "Trust them? Over what?" "Well, I mean, they trust each other, right?" "No, people will want specifics on that trust." "Nuts." "How about `I Want Mulder in the White House'?" "Hmmm, actually, I'd want him in my bedroom..." "Pervert." "I can't help it. It's my maternal instincts kicking in. I mean, that puppy-dog look he gives when he's hurting emotionally...sigh..." "Well, she's useless for the rest of the meeting..." "Not really. Splash some cold water on her." "Hey!" "Sorry. I was following orders..." "Hey. How's this one? `Deny Clinton in 96'." "That'll work..." "Only with Limbaugh's crowd. It'll be too rude for the moderate voters we need..." "Oh, c'mon, we always do negative advertising..." "Wait. We can't do that anymore. The new amendment says so." "Damn! How the hell are we going to win if we can't dump Clinton into a mudhole?" "Um, on our own merits and beliefs?" Silence for five seconds. "That's it. We might as well surrender now..." "Oh, shush! We can find a lot of good qualities about Mulder and his positions." "I can think of a few positions for Mulder...hey!" "Sorry. Looked like you needed more water..." "But what is Mulder's main belief?" "I think he believes in the Truth." "Truth? What truth? Not that alien crap again..." "More than just that. Truth in all things, from personal Truth to investigative Truth. He believes in honesty whenever applicable, except to protect someone who needs it, especially his friends. He admits to being a hypocrite, but wants to be better about keeping to the Truths he knows." "Good speech. Love it. Have you submitted it to Toastmasters for any awards yet?" "No, wait. I liked that. The Truth. Mulder and Scully...the Truth. `Mulder/Scully in 96: the Truth Is With Them'." "I admit that's a bit original..." "It's a positive statement..." "It won't fit on a bumper sticker, though..." "We'll use it on the t-shirts and posters then..." "All right! I got one!" "Don't go celebrating too soon." "What? I don't win a bonus?" "Oh, there's a bonus all right, girlfriend, but it involves dating some guy named Frohike..." "Oh. Oh, dear. Um, I totally disavow any responsibility for this idea..." "Too late, I'm calling him now for you..." "Nooooooooooooooooo!!......." The End (sorta cruel, but there was no other way...) Coming Soon: Year of Election III: the Bus Tour (well, not That soon, I mean, I might have other things, like a dental appointment or something...) From: z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us (Paul Wartenberg) Newsgroups: alt.tv.X-Files.creative Subject: NEW: Year of Election III: The Bus Tour Okay for those who don't know, Juliettt@aol.com placed a challenge on the Net for someone to write a story supporting "Mulder/Scully in '96". Foolishly, I answered. Now I'm Stuck writing this junk... Part I established how Mulder ended up getting the Republican bid (I know, some of you Dems are grumbling...) and offered the veep job to Scully. Part II was a quickie about the ad campaign's attempt to make slogans. This is Part III. Suffer. Copyright: all copyrights are owned by other people. Any character from The X-Files belongs to Chris Carter & Co. Any other characters probably belong to other X-Philes in which case I'm in trouble anyway. Some of the people in this story Really are X-Philes, so I'm probably a dead man... Go figure. As I am very poor, please do not sue me. Year of Election III The Bus Tour by. Paul Wartenberg blame it on. Juliettt@aol.com These news bulletins were obtained in rough copy format. Editor comments were not removed. San Diego (GED)- The 1996 Republican presidential campaign started with a bang as all four rear tires of the media bus exploded, holding up Congressman Fox Mulder's tour of the Pacific states for six hours. Mulder's political tour, starting just 24 hours after the GOP convention, would have traveled as far as Los Angeles today, with stops at Escondido, Valle Vista, and a spot outside of San Bernardino where UFO activity has been reported within the last three weeks. Instead, the buses got as far as Pala by the end of the day. "Anybody got triple-a?" Mulder quipped to reporters as they all waited in a nearby restaurant. Mulder and his vice presidential candidate, former FBI agent Dana Scully, used the repair time to meet with various reporters within the media pool traveling with the campaign. This reporter was not one of them, so they should all GO to Hell the Smug Bastards!!!!....("Edit this bit out, okay?"--Desk Editor) The candidates basically reiterated the themes established at the convention: less government intervention, more freedom to American citizens. Congressman Mulder did state the need for business regulation "only to protect consumers, who are vital to the economic cycles that keep our economy afloat," he later stated that current steps to deregulation are "tolerable." Scully spent most of her discussions defending her selection as vice president, stating Mulder's desire for some he trusts in a vital role in any future administration, and also pointing out her qualifications as a "good American citizen." She did ignore persistent questions from a reporter for "National Sleeze" asking her to pose in mini-skirts. ("What's wrong with loving her for her mind?"--Desk Editor) LOS Angeles (GED)- Presidential candidate Fox Mulder went with police officers during some daytime raids, making clear his strong commitment to law enforcement. The police raids were part of a crackdown on local bars and clubs rumored to be fronts for drug dealers and underground "lifestylers" whose personal fetishes are too gruesome to post in this report. ("Read the Sleeze, I suppose."--Desk Editor) Rumors broke out that in one visit to a Club Tepes GOP hopeful Mulder took a handful of wooden stakes inside while veep candidate Dana Scully carried a silver-plated longsword. Rumors also suggested a massive off-camera fight between the two former FBI agents and a group of female vampire bikers from Las Vegas. These rumors were privately denounced behind the scenes, while the official response was "No comment." ("Scully carries a sword?"--Desk Editor) San Jose (GED)- The GOP Bus Tour rolled to another premature stop for the third time in five days as presidential candidate Fox Mulder and his vice presidential candidate Dana Scully quickly disappeared on a rumored quest. While the campaign officials stated for the record that "Mulder and Scully are visiting local friends on personal matters," rumors flew throughout the media pool that the former FBI agents were attempting to complete an assignment left unsolved from their investigative days. Berkeley (GED)- Political candidates Mulder and Scully met with local artists and writers as reporters furiously tried to uncover their recent activities in and outside of San Jose last week. Reports were still circulating that Mulder and Scully had traveled in-state to Los Banos investigating the disappearance of an entire town. Photos were circulating of the two candidates arguing with each other in the middle of a deserted road. The rumored investigation turned out to be a smaller problem than originally thought. The report suggests most of the community had moved overnight to another community because the housing costs were cheaper. ("That's not what I heard. Rumor was...(Managing Editor Reportedly Deleted This Section AS it WAS Completely Unfounded and Stupid. Managing Editor Also Suggested Editing This Bulletin For Unfounded Allegations Made by Field Reporter.). Then they went to a hotel and argued for another two hours about what had happened. You woulda thought they'd do it instead of arguing. Funny, ain't it?"--Desk Editor.) While the rumors flew throughout the campaign, Mulder and Scully met with local supporters among San Francisco's artisan community. They shared personal stories, swapped family photos, and got drunk late into the wee hours of the night. ("Typical party in California, except there's no farm animals involved."--Desk Editor) Local campaign enthusiast Peggy Li later gushed to reporters, "Oh wow, gee! I got to shake his hand and everything! And Scully was so nice. She gave me lots of fashion tips!..." Canyonville, OR (GED)- Political candidates Fox Mulder and Dana Scully arrived in Canyonville, Oregon today. That's it. I mean it. I mean, geez, You try and find something to do while you stop off in Canyonville... ("I've tried. Only I was stuck there for nine days Nine Godawful Days it WAS Hell I Tell You Pure Hell!!......."--Desk Editor. (currently on sick leave trying to cope with mind-numbing flashbacks)) Portland, OR (GED)- GOP candidates Fox Mulder and Dana Scully met with local supporters today as reporters still attempted to get answers from campaign members on their current covert activities. While noone would comment on reports that Mulder and Scully have snuck away late at night for the past three nights to some unknown location, campaign spokesperson Nicola Simpson said, "Their personal activities are currently focused on winning the White House away from the Democrats and into the hands of the righteous, who will fly off to Fiji under the holy guidance of Cloister as they are indeed righteous." Simpson then put on a paper green hat and proceeded to talk in length about the need for hot dog/donut stands, at which point the authorities thankfully took her away for psychiatric treatment. A replacement spokesperson will be named soon. ("Word is she watched the Red Dwarf marathon during her stay in Canyonville and flipped out. She was one of the lucky ones who actually survived that stay OH GOD I'm Having Another Flashback OH GOD OH GOD..."--Desk Editor.) Olympia (GED)- The GOP 1996 campaign almost ended today on a scandalous note as both presidential hopeful Fox Mulder and his running partner Dana Scully both publicly admitted they were having sex with each other. Their statements occurred during an open forum meeting that morning with local Gen Xers who constantly peppered the two with questions about their previous jobs as FBI agents and whether they ever "made out." After the tenth time the question was asked, Scully nodded to Mulder and said that she was indeed having sex with him. "What's it like?" asked Sheryl Martin, two minutes after intense gasps of shock and roars of approval from the audience. "I'd give it, well, 9 out of 10," Scully replied. "What??" Mulder then stated, questioning why she didn't give a perfect score. "Well, because you don't...hold on," she replied, and then proceeded to whisper in Mulder's ear. The presidential candidate arched his eyebrow on three separate occasions, according to experts, and when Scully was finished he turned to the audience and stated, "We will continue this meeting in an hour. Better make that three." Later that afternoon, after an usually long absence by both candidates, a statement was made to the press: "We feel that our relationship will not have an adverse reaction to our hope of providing good leadership to this country. The relationship has no bearing on Mulder's support for Scully's position as his vice president, nor do we feel this will affect the strong moral fiber of the nation. We are in love, the sex is great, and we hope the American people understand our actions." The Religious Right, led by Pat Robertson, immediately accused Mulder and Scully of "destroying the family values of America" and swore to support Pat Buchanan in a third party campaign. Other religious leaders did express some "disappointment," as the Catholic Church has publicly stated, while others are cautioning their parishes to make their decisions "considering other issues as well." However, a preliminary poll shows no adverse effect on the campaign, with 49% still voting for Mulder, a three percent drop, and 49% for Clinton, a one percent rise. Perot was still ignored by the voters. Experts believe the fact that the character issue isn't being pushed this year by either party might be the reason. Other experts believe Mulder didn't drop that far losing support from the far Right simply because many of them already are voting against him. Mulder/Scully supporters, however, have their own theory. "Most of us kinda know about these guys, y'know, when they were bug-hunting for the FBI," supporter Vincent Juodvalkis stated. "We always wondered, y'know, especially when they met up in the elevator after Mulder was presumed dead, so it's cool." "Yeah," fellow supporter Gil Trevizo added. "We knew about Mulder and we were kinda worried he wasn't getting any. That he's got a girlfriend now kinda gives the rest of us some hope." ("They did it? Really? What day was it? We had a betting pool going on around here about that..."--Desk Editor.) Seattle (GED)- Any potential scandal over the fact Fox Mulder and his running mate actually are mating was squashed today when they publicly acknowledged their feelings for each other at the end of their first cross country tour as Republican candidates. "We've already got both moral and financial support from condom makers across the nation," Mulder joked to reporters. "Will you get married?" one reporter asked. "Shh!" Scully replied. "Don't give Hillary any ideas..." Mulder later spray-painted a sign saying "Vancouver can bite me!" during a ad campaign meeting, which almost led to an international incident. Mulder later agreed to also insult Tampa, Florida as a gesture of goodwill to Canadians. Although many Floridians are now upset, diplomatic tensions have eased. Scully spent her day meeting local rock bands, drinking coffee, and pretty much discussing a lot of geeky things most Seattlians do that the rest of the country despises. ("I take it Seattle's too friendly for you..."--Desk Editor.) The End (Unless you want me to drop names of other X-Philers.*..sigh*, okay, starting with the "a"s...Abel, Kris. Abel, Mary (any relation?). Adams, Kim. Adler, Anna...AW, to Hell with it!...) Coming Soon (unless you hate this and want me to die) Year of Election IV: The Larry King Fiasco From: z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us (Paul Wartenberg) Newsgroups: alt.tv.X-Files.creative Subject: NEW: Year of Election IV: The Larry King Fiasco -- Paul Wartenberg-------------------- | -----All Done.z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us | -----Bye-Bye.-----Somewhere in Florida---------- | -----X-Files-----I thank you God for most this amazing day, -----for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and -----a blue true dream of sky, and for everything -----which is natural which is infinite which is yes...-----Xaipe no.65, e.e. cummings (1950)Okay, here's yet another installment in that wacky storyline known as "Year of Election". When last we saw our intrepid heroes, Mulder and Scully were running as political candidates for the President/Vice President of the United States (for those of you in foreign countries, the United States is a mythical country somewhere west of Middle Earth and north of Oz. Anyone claiming to be from that country should be incarcerated for their own good.). But their quest contains many hidden dangers... Copyright: All characters appearing from "The X-Files" are owned by Chris Carter. Larry King appears courtesy of CNN. Tori Amos is a Goddess. John Anderson's whereabouts are currently unknown. As I am poor, please do not sue me. Year of Election IV The Larry King Fiasco by. Paul Wartenberg blame it on. Juliettt@aol.com (or else society as a whole). (TV image switches to a huge logo of CNN. Image fades into scene of Larry King's talk show desk. King is sitting to the left, leaning in toward the microphone. Scully is sitting on the other side of the desk to King's (and the audience's) left: Mulder is on the right. Scully is dressed very professionally, while Mulder has yet another wacky tie on.) King: Good evening, everybody, welcome to Larry King Live. Tonight, it's my great pleasure to have on this stage the Republican Presidential candidate, congressman Fox Mulder, and his running mate and recently revealed romantic interest Dana Scully. Scully (arching an eyebrow): "Romantic interest"? Mulder: Yeah, there's no real romance involved. It's just sex. (now grinning) Long, incredible, senses-shattering sex. King: Well, I see we're going to have to get this issue out of the way... Scully: I take it this is an issue... King: Well, it is for many voters... Mulder: I can understand if people may be personally upset... King: Doesn't this leave you open to attacks on "family values"? Mulder: Isn't a cornerstone of "family values" an unquavering respect for the power of love? King: What I mean is, does this bring up a question of character? Scully: I should hope the character values the American people are looking for include honesty, commitment, and love. Mulder is all these things to me, and more. Mulder (grins): Yeah. I always cook breakfast... Scully (shakes her head): Well, he tries to cook... King: But would this interfere with your official duties, if you are indeed elected? Scully: Well, there's nothing in the Constitution that defines the relationship between President and Vice President. Indeed, there was a time the two were political rivals. Remember Adams and Jefferson? King: Well, they've never been on this show... Mulder: You should try booking them some time. Jefferson does this great Franklin impersonation... Scully: What I'm trying to say is that we're comfortable with each other. We've been partners on the FBI for years, and we've depended on each other even to the brink of death. We trust each other, regardless of our sexual activities... King: But there are those who feel that such an...open relationship is, well... Scully: Sinful? King: Exactly. Mulder: I should think that is between me, Scully, and her priest. King: How can you reconcile your relationship in the face of historical precedence? Scully: What kind of precedence? King: Well, Gary Hart for one... Mulder (shaking his head): That was different. Gary Hart wasn't caught having sex, he was caught lying his pants off. I mean, he urged reporters to follow after him and see if he was sleeping around. What a shock it must have been to see the reporters took him up on that challenge. That wasn't lust, it was stupidity. Scully: The moral issue should be trust. Can you trust someone to be a good leader? Considering the number of philanderers in the Oval Office over the years, not all of them were monsters or incompetent, and not all of them were great, either. You have to judge how they actually performed in the interests of the country. Mulder: And after all, there are other issues... King: Such as? Mulder: Whether or not the President would have the legal authority to send Pat Buchanan into exile... King: Not exactly on solid ground with the conservative wing of your party, are you, Fox? Mulder: Please, call me Mulder... King: Why, does that sound more Presidential? Mulder: No, it's because I wanted my first name to be Ray, not Fox... King: About the conservatives... Mulder: They are vocal, and very very committed... King: But?.. Mulder: They really don't represent the whole country, do they? And a President needs to consider the big picture. King: Which is? Scully: Getting a big book deal when he retires... King: Scully, do I have to call you Scully? Scully (smirking): No, you can call me Dana. King: Does he still call you by your last name? Scully: Yeah, he's stuck on names in a big way, but what the hell. Mulder: Well, I don't call her by her last name all the time. King: Oh. You have a special term of endearment? Mulder: Sure. (leans in to whisper something in Scully's ear.) Scully (grinning as Mulder finishes): That...is disgusting... Mulder: But does it work? Scully: ...I can't say, I need to hear that one more time... King: Mulder, Dana, we don't have time for that. We need to get ready to answer some viewer phone calls. Mulder (smirking): For all of you tuning in, I plan on making at least three gaffes tonight. Just to make sure you're all watching. King: Before we get started on the phone calls, do either of you have anything to say? Scully: Yes. Is it too late to go do an interview on "Space Ghost" instead? King (stone faced): Yes, it is. Scully (whispering to Mulder): That's what Larry needs for his show. A seven-foot-tall megalomaniacal insect. Mulder (whispering back): Too bad Ross Perot's too short to qualify for that job... King: Caller Number 1, you're on! Caller Number 1: I just wanted to say you guys suck! Heh heh, heh heh. (hangs up.) Scully: Oh, great, another flamer. Mulder: Don't worry, Scully, let's be noble about this. The more they rag on us, the less they rag on "Star Trek: Voyager". Scully: Why shouldn't they? That show deserves to get flamed. Mulder (shaking his head): It's that salamanders episode, isn't it? Scully, even the original series sucked a couple of times...remember "Spock's Brain"? King: Guys, guys, let's take another caller. Caller Number 2: Am I on? Mulder: Yeah, this is Dog Meat Pizza! We deliver... Caller Number 2: Oh, sorry...(hangs up) (There is an uncomfortable silence for twenty seconds.) King: Please don't do that. We had to ban Dennis Miller from this show for life when he kept offering trivia games and prizes. Scully: Maybe we should take a break, give me a chance to convince Mulder here to change ties... Mulder (glancing downward): What, I picked the wrong shade of red and green again? Nuts... (Commercial Break. One includes the Folgers Coffee couple, a new commercial where the Woman is caught in a compromising position with a cup of tea...Earl Grey, hot...) King: Hi, we're back and we've got another caller. Caller Number 3: This question is for Ms. Scully. What are your positions? Scully: Well, if we use the numbering system for the Kama Sutra, I usually go with 8, 12, 14, and, um, pretty much all the options after 31... Caller Number 3: No, no, I mean your political positions... Scully (after a brief pause): Number 8, 12, 14, all the options after 31... Mulder (with new tie): We try to be flexible on some positions, Caller Number 3... Scully: Damn right we're flexible. Position number 56 can pull your thigh bones out of their sockets if you're careless... Mulder: But we are firm on other positions... (Mulder and Scully turn to each other and smirk.) Scully (grinning): I can't. That one's too easy a shot... Caller Number 3: I want to know your political Opinions, okay? What's your opinion on balancing the budget? Mulder: Cut programs. Simplify tax codes. King: Will there be a tax cut? Mulder: For the middle class, sure... King: What about the upper class? They'll scream bloody murder if you keep their rates too high... Mulder: Let's be honest here. We have to tax the rich. They're the only ones who can afford it... Caller Number 4: What about abortion? Mulder: Well, I've never needed one, so... Scully: I'll answer this one. We abhor the practice, but cannot ignore the choice... King: The pro-lifers just jumped off your bus... Scully: Let me continue. While the choice is unavoidable, we need to realize that as long as there is one unwanted pregnancy, there will be a demand for abortion. As a nation, we need to focus on eliminating unwanted pregnancies, not doctors. King: What about those in your own party who demand a strict pro-life stance? Scully: Too bad. Most Americans want compassion on this issue, not fire and brimstone. Caller Number 4: One last opinion. What's your stance on Ufos? (Mulder tries to answer, but Scully suddenly forces her hands over his mouth. They grapple with each other as Mulder tries to speak.) Mulder: I need to tell all of America... Scully: Mulder! No! Mulder: Get this, people, we... Scully: Mulder, that's just still a theory! Not all the documentation's in yet!... King: Can we go to commercial? Mulder: No! Scully: Yes! King (nodding to camera): Commercial. (Another set of commercials. One includes a new car from Saturn, with a saleswoman looking exactly like Pamela Anderson. Towards the end of the commercial the Saturn saleswoman who looked like Gillian Anderson shows up and beats the crap out of the Pamela lookalike.) King: We're back and we've got another caller! Caller Number 4: Scully! Will you marry me? Mulder: HEY! That's MY line!... Scully (calmly): No it isn't. Mulder (stunned): But, but... Scully: Shh! Don't give Hillary any ideas!... Mulder: Oh. Okay... Caller Number 4: Look, Scully, I'm serious... Scully: Well, I'm not. I've chosen my man, and he's sitting right here. King: You're talking about Mulder, right? Scully (snarling): Yessss.... Caller Number 4: But I don't think you and Mulder should be involved. Shouldn't there be professional decorum in these matters? Mulder: Well, like we've said, there's no rule that says the President can't screw the Vice President... Scully: Politically speaking, that happened all the time... Caller Number 4: But isn't this going to undermine the integrity of the office of Vice President? Scully (arching one eyebrow): Spiro Agnew. Nuff said. Caller Number 4: ...okay, you got me on that one... (hangs up) Mulder: Boy, this is fun. We're really tackling all the big issues, aren't we? (There is an uncomfortable pause for thirty seconds.) Mulder: Why do I get the feeling we're losing our audience to the Tori Amos Unplugged concert on MTV? King: Hold on, we've got another caller! Caller Number 5: Hello. I don't know if you'd remember me, but I'm John Anderson. Scully: Hey! Aren't you wanted in fifteen states for reckless driving? Caller Number 5: No, no, I...I ran for President back in 1980... Mulder: Oh, I remember you. You tried to run as a Republican but went independent when Reagan got the nod. You never had a chance, did you? Caller Number 5: No, not really...but it's the effort that counted... King: Did you have a question, Mr. Anderson? Caller Number 5: Well, first off, I just want to wish you two luck on your campaign. It'll wear you down, I hope you realize that... Scully: Yes. Thank you. Caller Number 5: My question is, can you convince the American people of your professionalism and experience? Scully: We're very professional. Mulder: Oh, yes, and very experienced. Caller Number 5: Experienced? In what way? Mulder (shrugging): Well, hunting mutated, slimy lifeforms... Scully: Insert political caricature here. Mulder: Confronting the bizarre and unexplained... Scully: Like how those FBI files got into that White House safe... King: Speaking of FBI files... Mulder: Those weren't ours. Scully: What about that one file we had on Newt Gingrich? King: You had a file on Newt Gingrich?? Mulder (shrugging): We...well, had an X-File on Newt, I admit that... King: What did your investigations uncover? (Mulder and Scully shrug simultaneously.) Mulder: That, well, he's a jerk... King: No wonder that wasn't covered much by the media... Scully: Yeah. Everybody already knew that. Caller Number 5: Weird. (hangs up.) Mulder (waving): See ya in the funny papers! King: Well, here's another caller. Caller Number 6: Hi, I'm calling regarding your opinion about trust... Mulder: No, sorry, we were just kidding about that. Caller Number 6: But should our political leaders be open about their political positions? Scully: It is difficult to be open, I will admit that. Issues of national security are one thing, but I should think on all other matters there should be mutual respect between the people and the President. Caller Number 6: So you have nothing to hide? Mulder (puzzled): Are you suggesting we have something to hide? Caller Number 6: What about the fact that Dana Scully is still a registered Democrat? All: What??? King: Is this true, Dana? Scully: Um, I plead the Fifth. Mulder: Scully, say it ain't so... Scully (embarrassed): Well, I was young and in college... Mulder: You could have told me... Scully (flustered): I still voted for Perot in '92... Mulder (stunned): Scully, I...I don't believe you...how could you do that?? Even...voting for Perot!... (Mulder walks off the set.) Scully (flustered): But, but...All right, Caller Number 6, just how the hell did you find out!... Caller Number 6: Uh-oh. (hangs up.) Scully: Quick, did anyone trace that call? King: We're working on it right now. But about this new revelation... Scully (running from the set): Not now! Mulder? Muuulllddeerrrr..... (King sits there as sounds of voices bickering echo through the background.) King: Well, while we're working through this stunning revelation, let's go to commercial. (Another set of commercials. One includes an advertisement for the Psychic Hotline, hosted by the President of the Eyebrows For Men (he's not only President, he's also a client!), the Stupendous Yappi...) (Return to Larry King's set. Mulder and Scully are nowhere to be found.) King: Well, we were able to trace that last call, and we've found it belongs to a staffer over in... (Mulder and Scully quickly appear before the camera. They are arguing so vehemently that their words can't be heard.) King: As I was saying, Caller Number 6 turned out to be someone on Pat Buchanan's staff, so the question does become, how did Buchanan's people learn of Scully's voter registration? Scully (loudly): Because I Love You, dammit!! (Silence suddenly fills the set. Mulder quickly grabs Scully and plants a huge, wet sloppy kiss on her lips, while she passionately responds in kind.) King: We'll have to end the show here, kids. Just a reminder, tomorrow night, I'll be talking with Dave Bowman, an astronaut who's just returned from space as a highly evolved Spacebaby... (Mulder and Scully throw themselves on top of King's desk, knocking off the microphone. They act more passionate as they fumble with each other's clothing.) King: Guys? Guys? Hold on here, this is CNN, not Playboy Channel. (Scully pulls Mulder's tie off with her teeth. Mulder is busy removing Scully's gun holster.) King: Guys, this isn't that romantic a spot to make out. It's not even original. Ted Danson and Mary Steenbergen already beat you to it... (Camera fades out to commercial just as Mulder succeeds in unbuttoning Scully's shirt. The sounds of Mulder/Scully fans shouting "Wait! Go back!" echo across the country.) Copyright: Okay, Mulder and Scully and The X-Files are and will always be the property of Chris Carter & Co. Any actions or statements performed by the characters in this Year of Election storyline do not reflect the characters' nor the actors' belief traits. Any other characters who appear in this story may exist, although they only appear on the news, at the podiums, and under indictment. Year of Election V Who's On Top? by. Paul Wartenberg the Story so FAR: Mulder had been chosen to replace a congressman, and quickly became a favored political figure. When Sen.Matheson, his mentor and possible GOP presidential candidate, was killed, Mulder was tapped to take his place. He chose Scully (who by now had settled her UST with Mulder) as his veep. With the advertising campaign and bus tour in full swing, they made an appearance on Larry King, where things turned for the worse when it was revealed that Scully was still a registered Democrat (horrors!). When we last saw Mulder and Scully, they had concluded another argument by suddenly deciding on having sex atop King's studio table... "Well," Scully breathed deeply. "I don't think Larry King will invite us back any time soon after what we did with his studio table." "It's a good thing we've got a good rapport with David Letterman then." Mulder grinned as he snuggled into her arms. "By the way, where's my tie?" "Wasn't it still wrapped around the bedpost after you slipped out of it?" "Must've been knocked off when the bed collapsed two hours ago..." "Mulder," Scully whispered, "I'm sorry." "For what?" he whispered back. "My hips are still intact..." "I should have told you. You know. That I was a Democrat." Mulder took a minute to figure out a good response. "Scully, don't worry. We'll figure something out when the time comes..." "Better hurry." Scully rolled out of the bed's remains. "I'm sure the polling staff will be back in an hour..." One hour later "How bad is it?" Scully leaned against Mulder's arm, glancing about at the long faces of the volunteers and poll takers that were stumbling in from a brutal morning. "Well," Mulder sighed. "Republicans can be forgiving sometimes. Your views on women's issues they can forgive. Your political inexperience they can forgive. They can even forgive ragging on Pat Buchanan. But being a Democrat, hell, that's high treason." "Oh, God. That bad?" "Let me put it to you another way," Mulder grimaced as he handed the polling stats to her. "The only ones left supporting us are the guys who'd like to see you in lingerie..." "Mulder, have you been downloading those Polaroids onto the Net again?.." Mulder sighed. "Scully, I..." "Mulder, if you want me to drop out of the race, I..." "No, don't, I want you to stay..." Scully smirked. "I'm not breaking up with you, so don't worry..." "Scully." Mulder flashed a serious look across his eyes. "You're the only one I trust. Always." She sighed. "Thank you. But face facts, Mulder, there's no way now the Republicans will vote for us..." "So." Mulder nodded slowly. "That leaves only one other option..." The Next Day "Ladies and gentlemen of the press," Mulder spoke, wrapping his hands around the edge of the podium. "I'm sure you are all well aware of the events of the past 48 hours." There were general mumblings among the reporters. Pat Buchanan was literally storming the walls, leading a ragtag group of Young Republicans into a campus bookstore in Virginia and threatening to destroy every copy of "Horton Hears Dr.Who" unless Scully withdrew from the race. Compared to that, the scathing remarks from the political leadership was mild. "I am aware that the party I represent can no longer support my decision as to my running mate, Dana Scully. They do, after all, have an agenda to promote and party relations to uphold." Mulder took a second before continuing. "It seems sad, though, that ideology should so strongly dictate a party's choice for representation. Scully and I do not seek to represent just the Republican Party or those of a like mind. We seek to represent the United States of America, to offer ourselves as defenders of the American faith in justice, liberty, fairness. We seek to defend the rights of all Americans, to assure ourselves of both the present and the future." Mulder paused. "In essence, we recognize that we are, not just Republican or Democrat, but Americans. I understand that there are those who may be shocked by our actions, but Scully and I have discussed this, and we have decided to withdraw together from the Republican nomination..." The room erupted into questions, denials, accusations, three swordfights, and a circus act involving bears, fireworks, and the Flying Grimoires. "People, people, please," Mulder calmed the audience down. "Can we get some order here?.." "HEY!" Scully shouted at the top of her lungs. The rioting ceased. "I'd like to say a few words..." Scully's voice suggested just a hint of venom. Everyone sat down, including the bears. "Mulder and I did not come to this decision easily, especially since we also decided to continue running for the offices of the presidency and vice-presidency." The Flying Grimoires tried to start the rioting again, but Scully pulled out her gun (still registered with the proper authorities) and settled the circus crowd within two seconds. "We are aware that there is so much controversy regarding our relationship and our political positions, but we feel responsible as Americans to continue what we started. To fulfill our duty as citizens to do what we can for our country. And, to be honest, to satisfy our egos..." That last bit got a few chuckles from the crowd. "Well, okay." Scully nodded. "We can take some questions now." "Mulder, a question." One reporter stood quickly. "Do you realize what this will do with the Republican party?" "Well, I expect Pat Buchanan is drooling his face off at this moment..." Mulder quipped. "But there is still time before the election for the party faithful to decide new candidates." "So," another reporter stood. "You're still running as President and Vice-President, then?" "Actually, we're eager to change the titles to Jake and Joey." Mulder grinned. "I don't wanna be a Joey," Scully muttered under her breath. "Will there be any changes to your platform?" Another reporter queried. "Yes," Scully answered this one. "We plan on being nicer to people than what the GOP platform wants." A woman reporter stood. "Scully, there are still those who question having a female in any position of authority within the White House..." "Is this a question or a statement?" Scully smirked. "What response can you have for the naysayers?" "Well." Scully nodded. "Mulder and I view both our personal and professional relationships as a partnership. We both work for each other, support each other, make ourselves equals in all our mutual responsibilities..." "She has me doing the laundry, guys," Mulder smirked. "As I was saying, this is a full partnership. He trusts me and I trust him, especially with the starch." "So this will be something like a co-Presidency then?" "Excuse me?.." "As you have a perfect opportunity to redefine male/female relationships," the female reporter continued. "are you going to retain a traditional hierarchy where the male gets the larger office?.." "Hey, hey hey," Mulder shook his head vigorously. "What agenda are you trying to force here?" "So are you willing to take a submissive role here, Scully?.." "It's not submissive..." Mulder shrugged in shock. "Hey, she's right," Scully opined, arching an eyebrow. "Why do you get to be on top?" "Scully, wait, but..." Mulder stammered until he recognized the smirk on Scully's face. "Scully, not now, we're on live..." "Like that's stopped us before?," she whispered back. "...Don't tempt me, Scully..." "Excuse me, ma'am," Scully finally answered. "I don't know what beef you have to deal with, but deal with it on your own time. Mulder and I are running for office. Plain and simple, and we're taking it to the American people to decide, not to you or to anyone else with an attitude. If anyone else has any more questions, you'll have to wait until Mulder and I can settle a few issues right now." "What issues?" Mulder whispered as Scully dragged him from the podium. "Well," Scully grinned. "The issue of who gets to be on top..." One week later "...and with Bob Dole succeeding in taking the GOP nomination from Buchanan, especially as Buchanan has now been exiled to a small island off the coast of Greenland..." "Do you think Pat's gone for good?" Scully nodded to the TV set. "Don't think so," Mulder replied. "I think he's think-skinned enough to swim through the cold Atlantic waters back to the mainland..." "On the presidential front," the newsanchor continued. "A new poll out today shows a dead heat between Clinton, Dole, Perot and Scully..." Mulder arched an eyebrow. "Huh?" "...Polls are showing that Scully gets a higher approval rating than her partner Mulder..." "It's those lingerie photos, I swear..." Mulder muttered. "Oh?" Scully replied. "What about those shots of you in the Speedos?" "...Red's a bad color for me..." The TV talking head continued. "Commentators are quick to state that the Mulder/Scully ticket is gaining ground regardless of whomever assumes the top nomination, even without the support of major party funding..." "...Our credit cards are going to run out sooner or later..." Mulder replied. "We're going to have to start up a whole new advertising program." Scully nodded. "There's so much to do now that we're beginning again..." "Well?" Scully smirked, giving Mulder a huge hug. "Got a name for the party yet?" "Not really," Mulder said with a straight face. "But I think our party symbol's gonna be that flukeworm..." The End To be continued in: Year of Election VI--Fundraiser (the final chapter of Clive Barker's classic "Hellraiser" series) -- Paul Wartenberg-------------------- | -----All Done.z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us | -----Bye-Bye.-----Somewhere in Florida---------- | -----X-Files-----I thank you God for most this amazing day, -----for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and -----a blue true dream of sky, and for everything -----which is natural which is infinite which is yes...-----Xaipe no.65, e.e. cummings (1950)Well, I'm not too sure who I email this to for archival purposes. But what the hell... Copyright: Mulder, Scully, and all other characters appearing from The X-Files are owned by Chris Carter, unless enough fans can scrape enough money together to buy out his controlling interest. Anything these characters do in the course of this storyline does not reflect their actual literary or physical existence. Also, this story contains many references to the "Hellraiser" movie series perpetuated by Clive Barker and other misfits, if only because Pinhead is the only evil slasher figure left in horror genre...so some copyright goes to them as well. As I am poor, please do not sue me. Year of Election VI Fundraiser (The Horror Continues) by. Paul Wartenberg blame it on. Juliettt@aol.com thanks to. Morgan & Wong, Clive & Chris, and hugs to the people at the Tampa Con who asked William Davis if he had any cigarettes to share... The Story so FAR: Mulder and Scully, through circumstances beyond their control, became Republican candidates for the 1996 presidential election. However, a major political scandal (Scully was a Democrat) forced them off the GOP ticket and into an independent campaign... "We're broke," Scully shrugged, tossing paperwork onto her desk. "Really?" Mulder arched his eyebrows. "Didn't my check from the FBI pension clear last week?" "It bounced." "Damm. First thing we oughta do when we get in the White House is check the ledgers." "That's if we get in," Scully sighed. "Unfortunately, the entire political process is based on having access to money. Money to pay for ads..." "...for the pizzas..." "...for the handlers and managers..." "...for Plumbers to cover up a break-in into rival campaign headquarters..." "Mulder..." "Scully...Liddy and his Cubans don't come cheap, ya know..." "It's tough that we had to return the GOP's war chest. It's even tougher for a new party to build capital." "This is a capitalist society." Mulder grinned. "Use the free market system. All we have to do is figure out a way of scamming it from others." "Mulder!" Scully reached over for a folder and thwaked him over the head with it. "I thought we agreed to run a fair and open campaign..." "All right," Mulder raised his hands in a mea culpa. "I was joking. But do you have any plans on how to raise money?" "I hate this," Scully growled under her breath. "Buck up, sailor." Mulder grinned so wide it had to be fake. Staring into the bright lights, he started waving. "It's either this or sell our time and names to monster truck rallies..." The two candidates walked out into a ballroom dressed up for a fundraising dinner. At all the tables stood tuxedoed men and well-plumed women, the latest fashions of the wealthy class. It was the best thing Mulder and Scully could come up with in such short notice. A dinner/speech/handshake marathon attracting those who could afford the $200.00 plate specials. "I'm really not too thrilled," Scully whispered as they walked up the platform to the podium. "I'd rather meet with the common people, speak to their interests, not the interests of the upper class..." "I want to do that, too," her partner replied. "But this is generating enough revenue for the campaign. And don't worry. I'm planning on preaching good old-fashioned values like charity, volunteerism..." "...a willingness to pay their taxes to support the general welfare..." "Scully..." "Mulder, you know perfectly well the rich should pay higher taxes. They're the only ones who have the money anymore..." "All right. I'll read them the riot act." Mulder helped Scully to her seat. "Just hope I can remember all the good stuff from `Sinners in the Hands of an Angry God'..." The dinner had already finished with the salad and only now the main course was being delivered. They took a minute to enjoy the expensive salmon plate with expensive carrots, expensive rice and cheap iced tea. Another speaker, a local politician who looked a little too slick and more self-congratulatory, opened for Mulder, leading up to Mulder's approach to the microphone. Scully watched the crowd as Mulder spoke. It was fifteen minutes into Mulder's harangue about Hollywood's failure to make high-quality NC-17 movies when she noticed something wrong with the crowd. While they laughed at Mulder's jokes and applauded at the appropriate moments, the people seemed to act on cue. And their glassy-eyed stares made them almost zombie-like in appearance... Wait. Except for that one. A middle-aged woman who looked incredibly familiar, from...Scully couldn't remember. That woman at least acted normal, but her appearance was still...unsettling. Maybe it was her dark eyes. Mulder finished his speech to a standing ovation. He turned to Scully for a hug and a whisper into her ear. "Scully, is it me or is the crowd turning into zombies?" "Oh, God, you noticed?" "Yeah. They laughed a little too much on that Dan Quayle joke." "Look." Scully nodded as they turned to wave to the polite yet threatening crowd. "We should go. Go back to the FBI basement, grab some high-powered weapons, and lead a Swat team back here..." "That reminds me," Mulder muttered. "Where are all the Secret Service guys?.." Meanwhile, in a hallway far from the ballroom, all six of the Secret Service agents hung from the ceiling, screaming the screams of the damned, forced to watch endless replays of Bert I. Gordon films...sadly, none of the men had trained for this moment, nor had they watched MST3K to understand a sane response to such hellish treatment... Back to the story. Scully and Mulder had tried to move toward the fire exit, but were intercepted by a set of tuxedoed, overweight men. "Gosh," one of them blurted, "I'd love for y'all to meet the missus over at our table. Loved your speech, by the way..." "Oh, uh, thanks," Mulder stammered. He was gently pushed into the circle of dinner tables, slowly shaking hands with people who stared back with glassy eyes and empty hearts... "Mulder," Scully snarled under her breath. "These people shake hands like their holding wet fish. Absolutely no energy or conviction. It's weird." "I just noticed. We're being pushed toward that woman." Mulder nodded to the one Scully spotted earlier. "I swear she looks familiar," Scully whispered anxiously. "You're right," Mulder answered. He stared closely at the woman and suddenly shuddered. "Oh no. Oh GOD no!" "Mulder, that's MY line..." "Scully..." Mulder slowly stepped back. "That's the satanic high school teacher from Season 2. That episode with the Germanic Title..." Scully stared in shock. "Oh, HER...can we run now?.." "Yup." Scully slammed an elbow into the tuxedo nearest to her, and jumped over a set of chairs between tables as she headed for the doors at the far end of the ballroom. She kicked off her high heels, finding it difficult as always to run in those things. Behind her, she heard Mulder knock his way through the crowd and keep pace with her. They slammed into the doors at the same time, rattling against the bar handles. "Mulder, they're stuck." "Not stuck, welded." Mulder turned to stare at the crowd, noting with growing horror that the faces of the guests were melting, reshaping into hideous visages. "That does it. Who organized this dinner for us?" "Um, some local guy. Belub O. Zell." "Well, he's fired." The two turned to face the fifty, who by now had finished their change into zombies. Except for their apparent leader, Phyllis Paddock, who retained human form even as her eyes grew larger and darker. "I said I'd be back," the satanic teacher nodded. "You have no right to be here," Scully snarled, holding up her small gold cross. "You're just a satanic, evil substitute biology teacher..." "Oh," grinned Paddock, her dark eyes gleaming. "I've become much more powerful than a satanic high school teacher. I've become one of the most powerful demons of all..." "A lobbyist," Mulder flatly stated, recognizing the severity of this development. "Yeeeeeesssss," she hissed. "We're in trouble," Scully noted, glancing about the ballroom. "So," Paddock whispered, pulling out some papers from her briefcase. "Are you interested in hearing the positions of those I represent?" "We're really in trouble," Scully's tone became more urgent. "No deals," Mulder flatly stated. "We're officially against the undue influences of special interests, especially those operating out of the nine levels of Inferno." "Who said I represent a special interest?" their opponent laughed. "I represent no political action committee, I merely represent a nonprofit bipartisan coalition eager to promote common interests...all we want is your appreciation." Scully silently whispered a prayer she remembered from Sunday school, hoping the strength of her faith would hold back the forces of darkness. "Common interests?" Mulder restrained a chuckle: the severity of the situation was overwhelming. "Yes." Paddock handed some papers. "We want you to promote prayer in school, eliminate affirmative action, generally support a fundamentalist campaign..." "What?" Scully arched an eyebrow. "I would have thought your people would oppose a Christian agenda..." "Oh, no, of course not," the satanic lobbyist almost hissed. "But it's not a Christian agenda, it's an oppressive one. We realize if we push the country too far into one ideological identity, it would intensify the social rifts that already exist. Think of it, public struggles against such tyrannical religious oppression, riots on the streets when blacks, Hispanics, and women find they can't get jobs, degrees or homes anymore, the abortion fighting giving way to all-out war..." She sighed, personally envisioning this new Hell. "Ahhh, all the fun stuff you would never get in a open moderate society." "I was wondering where Buchanan was getting support," Mulder whispered to Scully. "In return we will fund your campaign, provide you ground support, even rig a scandal or two in your favor." Paddock smiled. "I think we can also deliver the some of the Southern states to you, but we're working on our, um, `voter' registration right now..." "You're not asking us to just support your plan," Scully responded. "You're asking for our souls as well." "Yeah, well, that too." The zombies in the background gurgled with delight as Paddock giggled. "So do we have a deal?" "Never." Scully took Mulder's hand in hers, forcing her crucifix forward into the crowd. "We will never support such an extremist policy. We will do all we can to keep America a beautiful shining hope for all humanity..." "Yeah, yeah, yatta yatta," Paddock interrupted. "I guess I'm going to have to be more persuasive." The ballroom walls cracked as incredible forces from beyond pushed into this reality. The lights blew out as heavy winds swirled around the embattled partners. "Mulder!" Scully shouted into the tumult. "Don't let goooo!..." Scully suddenly felt hooks dig into her clothing, chains tightening around her throat and hips. She was yanked away from Mulder's grasp, tossed across the room onto one of the tables. She glanced over to the sounds of chains rattling, and saw to her horror that Mulder had been tied onto a table next to hers. She felt the chains encircle her body as she turned to see Paddock shifting into her true demonic form. "Now, perhaps we may not deal for your souls but certainly your lives," Paddock growled, her hair shedding from her head, revealing snake-like scales and coloring. "You can't kill us," Mulder answered, lifting his head in defiance. "You have no power over us." "You have no choice," she hissed, reptilian features pulsating across her face. "You need the financial support and only we can provide it..." "Never!" Mulder shouted, "We'll never sell our votes to you." "You will submit," Paddock slithered closer. "This is, after all, how Washington works..." "Noooooooo," Scully and Mulder screamed as the fundraising zombies inched closer to the sacrificial tables. More and more zombies crawled toward them, waving pamphlets representing corporate welfare interests, representatives from the smoking lobby, agents of foreign countries that unfairly set tariffs too high and promote copyright piracy, all of them crawling from the dark hallway that had formed within the ballroom, leading straight down into the Pit... "Bwha-ha-ha-ha-ha," Paddock laughed, her evil chuckles echoing through the dark halls of Hell. Suddenly, the doors behind the army of special interests shattered open. A Methodist bishop in ceremonial robes finished his gestures. "This political function has been cleansed..." Federal agents stormed into the room, led by a familiar authority figure with a bright shiny forehead... "Skinner!" Scully and Mulder shouted in relief. "Phyllis Paddock," Skinner stated in his calm, by-the-book manner. "You're under arrest for fraud, tax evasion, and obstruction of the electoral process..." "What?" she snarled as the warrants her slammed into her hands. "Don't you know who I am? Who I represent?" "Of course I do." Skinner slapped cold iron cuffs onto her wrists. "So does the Federal Election Commission. You've overstepped your bounds here, promoting special interests while posing as an nonpartisan committee. And I don't think satanists qualify for nonprofit status in these parts..." "You Have Failed US," a deep demonic voice echoed through the hallway. Chains flew off of Mulder and Scully as the zombies fled for the safety of the hallway to Hell. The chains reached out for the demon, who was unable to run with the iron cuffs weighing her down. "No, no..." Paddock screamed as chains and hooks began digging into her flesh. "Wait, give me more time...didn't I get you Newt last year?.." Chains flew from the darkest pit of Hell, reaching out to the demon lobbyist still screaming her defense. "Please, please, one more election and we'll be more powerful than the NRA...I need more time..." Scully watched as the hooks dug into Paddock's scaly flesh. Paddock smiled, as if actually trying in one last moment to enjoy the pain that will be inflicted upon her. "Jesus voted Democrat," she grinned, just as the chains tore her body apart. The job finished, the darkened chains were dragged back down the hallway to Hell, metallic rattling as they scuffed the ballroom floor. The wall that had sundered open between this world and the beyond slowly closed, bricks sealing up like jigsaw puzzles. With a sigh, the rift was sealed forever, or at least until the congressional elections two years from now. "Mulder," Scully sighed as he helped her from the table. "From now on, we're doing monster truck rallies." "Agreed." Mulder reached out to shake Skinner's hand. "Thanks, sir." "Just doing my job," Skinner answered. "I can't chat right now. Unfortunately, this team has to get moving." "Why? What's going on?" Mulder glanced about as the Swat team moved out. "We've got word on more lobbyists corrupting a senatorial race in the other state." Skinner nodded. "Remember, stay away from those monsters." "Oh, we will," Scully raised her hands in agreement. "I think Mulder and I are heavily supporting a controlled population law on those...those people." "Yeah, tag 'em on their cell phones." Mulder grinned. Skinner turned and followed his team out the door. Mulder and Scully glanced about, realizing they had no reason to stay, and followed suit. "Whew, another close one, Scully," Mulder grimaced as he picked up Scully's shoes. "Actually, I hated how that ended," Scully huffed. "What?" Mulder was shocked. "But...Paddock would have destroyed the electoral process for all time..." "Doesn't matter," was the reply. "I hate it when the secondary characters get those great parting lines like that...why don't we get parting lines like that? Grrr...." To be concluded... -- Paul Wartenberg-------------------- | -----All Done.z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us | -----Bye-Bye.-----Somewhere in Florida---------- | -----X-Files-----I thank you God for most this amazing day, -----for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and -----a blue true dream of sky, and for everything -----which is natural which is infinite which is yes...-----Xaipe no.65, e.e. cummings (1950)From kelsy@ro.com Fri October 18 21:59:00 1996 I did not write this. Please send responses to the Author: at Paul Wartenberg z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us Year of Election VII -- The Debate by. Paul Wartenberg z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us Summary: The Year of Election series started over a challenge made by Julietttxf@aol.com to write a fanfic story with "Mulder/Scully in '96". And to think, she might be a 'Noles fan (Go Gators!). Part I set-up the storyline with Mulder's mentor Sen. Matheson bringing him into politics. A sad set of circumstances lead to Mulder becoming the GOP candidate, but he and Scully resolve their UST and become running mates. Parts II, III and IV deal with their early campaign, which ends in part IV when a scandal erupts (Scully's a Democrat). Part V has them running on an independent campaign, while Part VI had Mulder and Scully confront demonic lobbyists during a fundraiser. ...The Title pretty much explains this one: Mulder gets into a debate with the Three Wise-Ass Men...enjoy... Copyright: Nobody in their right minds would pay money to read this anyway, so why bother? I'm not making money on it, Julietttxf isn't making money on it, none of the archivists (bless their souls) are making money off this (even though they should), so Chris Carter and Fox Network should relax. If they don't want to relax, well I guess I'm in trouble, then... ...Also, Jim Lehrer appears courtesy of whichever production team does his show. Meanwhile, thanks to the First Amendment I can ridicule the other three guys and get away it, bwha-ha-ha-ha!... ...Somewhere in an alternate reality, a Debate Committee decides that Dole and Clinton are not the only viable candidates for the presidency. Perot of the Reform Party and Mulder of the No Fear Party are also included. For some reason, though the debate is in Hartford the area looks a lot like Vancouver... (The scene opens in a vast auditorium filled with people all wearing Florida Gators t- shirts. A table sits before four podiums, with Larry King (back for more!) and Jim Lehrer sitting at the table. Lehrer turns to King to tell him he's not supposed to be here. King refutes that statement, leaving it to Lehrer to pull out a cattle prod and stick into King's side. King falls from view, leaving Lehrer there with a huge smile.) Lehrer: Greetings and welcome to Vancouv...uh, Hartford. This is the national debate for the 1996 political campaign for the President of the United States. Tonight we have four of the best choices for the election, as determined by the debate committee and by some guy named Vinny. First off is the incumbent, weighing in at 250 lbs., looking like 300 lbs., ladies and gentlemen, William Clinton. (Bill Clinton comes out with a few loud "whoops" from the crowd.) Lehrer: Representing the major opposing party, from Russell Kansas, at 70 years of age, looking 170 years old, is former Senator Robert Dole. (Bob Dole comes out with polite applause from the crowd, although a few try to start the Wave.) Lehrer: Next up is a major third party candidate from the previous presidential campaign, coming in with a new platform but the same crazy attitude, is Ross Perot. (Ross Perot comes out with a loud Texan "Yee-ha".) Lehrer: Finally, a candidate who first represented the GOP but then fell out to follow his own campaign, a guy who's too cool for words, with the wackiest tie sense this side of basketball coaches, is Fox Mulder. (Fox Mulder comes out with every woman in the auditorium screaming their heads off. Some of the more enterprising girls break through security just so they could run up to Mulder and touch his hair. He smiles sheepishly while the other candidates glare at him enviously.) Clinton (leans over to whisper to Mulder): How'd you get them to act like that? Mulder (whispers back): Always look sad like a lost puppy. Fitting into red Speedos don't hurt either... Lehrer: Gentlemen, if we could begin... Perot: If I can say something... The Others: No! Lehrer: As I must explain to the audience, the general format of the debate shall go like this: A question will be asked of one candidate, with an answer to take no longer than one minute... Clinton: Uh, wait a sec here, I kinda take forever when I talk... Lehrer: Too bad. Then one candidate at random will be chosen for rebuttal. We hope to have a total of seven questions for each candidate, and every candidate can have no more than seven rebuttals. Mulder: Can we mutter under our breaths just a little so the audience can hear us quip one-liners? Lehrer: Yes, but any foul language will disqualify you for the rest of the night. Perot: God-damn. That does it. I quit. Dole: Thank God. Perot: That does it. I'm back in again. Lehrer: Gentlemen. The first question is for Bob Dole. Sir, while we are well aware of your record as a war hero, respected Senator, and Metallica fan, how can you prove to all Americans that you are qualified to be President? Dole: Well, Bob Dole has proven that Bob Dole can be a decisive leader, yes sir. Bob Dole can lead this country back to prosperity and good times. Bob Dole's got a plan, starting with this 15 percent tax cut, following it up with choosing Colin Powell to be in my cabinet, and then any other political gimmick that'll confuse the voters in November. Bob Dole knows what to do to be President. Bob Dole. Lehrer: Uh, sure. Clinton, you may rebuttal. Clinton: I pretty much stand on the same issues as Dole, except that I'm going to be kinder about it. Dole (Upset): You can't steal Bob Dole's thunder! That's Bob Dole's package and you're not Bob Dole! Perot: Now ain't that typical? They're supposed to stand for opposing issues so that Americans can make a choice, and it ends up with the choices being the same ole dog meat that's been served before. This is politics as usual, America... Lehrer: I'm sorry, Perot, you spoke out of turn. (Aims Nerf rifle and nails Perot in the mouth with a Nerf arrow just as he tries to add other word.) This next question is for Clinton. Mr. President, the Republicans accuse you of accepting on face value many of their positions on key issues, but that in fact you're a dye-in-the-wool liberal who's hoping for a second term to get what he wants. Is that true? Clinton: No, because what I want is a date with Winona Ryder... Mulder: HEY! Clinton: I'm just kidding. Actually, what I want is to support Americans in their time of need, especially since a Republican Congress under an evil life form named Newt forced me, that's right forced me to sign a welfare package that starves children, destroys families and keeps the Jets from winning any football games. That's right, they forced me, threatened not to give me a raise so that I might buy a new car for my daughter's graduation. (Begins crying) And all she wanted was a Ford Taurus, not some fancy racing car...but you can help, America. Send me back to the White House, where I promise I'll improve the welfare system to protect children, where I'll support legislation to stabilize our homes and lives, and where the Jets can play the Bucs 16 times a year to make sure they get a winning season. (Continues crying) Maybe then Chelsea can get her wheels. Lehrer: Ah. Mr. Perot, have you coughed up that Nerf arrow yet? Perot: Hell, no. I chewed it down. Takes more than that to shut me up. Lehrer (sighs worriedly): Very well. Your rebuttal. Perot: This is just sad, people. Nobody in Washington is doing what it takes to lead, and to get things done. All they're doing is stroking either their egos or their libidos. Well it's time to put somebody in charge who'll do what you the American people want. Jim? Lehrer: Uh-uh. Thank you for saying nothing that related to the topic at hand. This next question is for Mulder. Mulder: Ooh! Ooh! My turn! Oh, joy! Lehrer: Mr. Mulder, it's been said that your whole life has been dedicated to hunting down the existence of aliens or phenomena beyond the realm of known science. Your platform says very little other than upholding the quest for "truth". But how can a philosophical quest satisfy the practical need of leadership that the presidency demands? Mulder: Well, you see...leadership in a democracy like ours requires one to uphold the truth, if not scientific truth as a doctor nor spiritual truth as a priest, but personal truth: to be honest of one's intentions, to be assured of the integrity of others. One of the things lost between politicians and the people has been some sense of trust. That is because people no longer believe their leaders tell the truth. We must bring truth back into politics so that America can trust again. Perot: Get bent, UFO-boy. There's never been any truth in government. It's all been PR and get-rich-quick schemes since day one. Clinton: Yeah, what the hell have you been smoking, and can you give me some? Lehrer: Gentlemen, please. Dole, you have rebuttal. Dole: Well, Fox Mulder talks a good game of truth and trust, and Bob Dole's all for it. But Bob Dole needs to know if Mulder's up to the job. Mulder: Hey, I'm here. I'm tanned, ready, willing. Dole: Well, Bob Dole's got a feeling Fox Mulder is more intent on searching the skies for intelligent life, and that Fox Mulder will be bounding through forests chasing little green men instead of dealing with issues that Bob Dole is ready to face. Mulder: Ha! I'm here to be President. Nothing's going to change that. (On cue, Scully comes out to the stage with a cell phone in her hand. The crowd goes wild as guys chant "Marry me!" while the ladies shout "You go, girl!") Scully: C'mon, Mulder, we gotta move. Mulder: Scully, not now... Scully: It can't wait. Frohike just called and said there's something amiss in New Hope, Pennsylvania. Mulder: So? There's always something amiss in New Hope. Scully: Not like this. People have been abducted, lights are shining through the forests, and your sister's been sighted in the presence of Jeremiah Smith and 200 Elvis Presleys. (Mulder takes a minute to stare at the camera.) Mulder: Scully, this isn't gonna look too good to the voters... Scully (turning to the camera): Folks, he loves ya, he wants your votes, but now he's got some evil Elvises to hunt down. See ya in St. Pete. (Grabs Mulder and drags him away). Perot: Good-bye and good riddance. Dole: Too true. What was Fox Mulder doing here? Bob Dole thought only candidates with a chance to win should be here. Clinton (Pausing for a second): Then why are you two losers still here? Perot: Listen up, you mongrel from a dust farm. The American people have the right to choose, and I think... Dole: Ross Perot thinks aliens are hiding out in the bushes surrounding his house. Perot: At least aliens are interested in what I'm doing!... Lehrer (Muttering to himself): Now I know why Koppel gave up this year. Clinton: So, who's winning at this point? Lehrer: Actually, none of you are winning, gentlemen. It seems the whole country hates all of their political choices and tuned this debate out. In fact, they've been watching "Space Ghost Coasttocoast," and it's a lousy re-run at that. We're gonna have to end it here with a public service announcement. Ladies and gentlemen, this is Jim Lehrer, informing you the American voter that this sorry debate signals the end of civilization as we know it. You may start your rioting and coup plots now. Thank you and good night. To Be Continued... Paul Wartenberg-------------------- | -----All Done.z004799b@bcfreenet.seflin.lib.fl.us | -----Bye-Bye.-----Jeremiah Smith Lives---------- | -----X-Files-----I thank you God for most this amazing day, -----for the leaping greenly spirits of trees and -----a blue true dream of sky, and for everything -----which is natural which is infinite which is yes...-----Xaipe no.65, e.e. cummings (1950)Kelsy ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ The Gossamer Project Archives USA http://gossamer.simplenet.com Australia http://www.bns.com.au/alee/X-Files.html ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Year of Election Viii -- The Final Battle by. Paul Wartenberg Summary: The Year of Election series started over a challenge made by Julietttxf@aol.com to write a fanfic story with "Mulder/Scully in '96". And to think, she might be a 'Noles fan (Go Gators!). Part I set-up the storyline with Mulder's mentor Sen. Matheson bringing him into politics. A sad set of circumstances lead to Mulder becoming the GOP candidate, but he and Scully resolve their UST and become running mates. Parts II, III and IV deal with their early campaign, which ends in part IV when a scandal erupts (Scully's a Democrat). Part V has them running on an independent campaign, while Part VI had Mulder and Scully confront demonic lobbyists during a fund-raiser. Part VII was the great debate between Mulder, Clinton, Dole, and Perot, except it wasn't so great. This is part Viii, in which Mulder and Scully survive all their nemeses until Nov.5th Election Day, when they find out once and for all who will lead the nation... I'd give this one an R rating, with some nudity, profanity, and shudder politics. Copyright: Nobody in their right minds would pay money to read this anyway, so why bother? I'm not making money on it, Julietttxf isn't making money on it, none of the archivists (bless their souls) are making money off this (even though they should), so Chris Carter and Fox Network should relax. If they don't want to relax, well I guess I'm in trouble, then... Nov.4 They gasped as they ran hard across the stark desert, stumbling every so often within the darkness. One of them would glance skyward, as if seeking some kind in intervention in their path. They held onto each other as they ran, using their hold to keep their balance. A bright light suddenly flashed across the desert sky. The two runners stopped as the night sky disappeared, replaced by a heavenly glow. The light grew as a large, space borne object floated closer to the ground. From the brightness stepped two short, thin humanoids. Their heads appeared larger than the rest of their pale gray bodies, with large elongated eyes staring blankly at their two victims. "Mulder," one Grey mumbled telepathically, trying to sound spooky, "Scully. At last, we have you. We are well aware of your search for us, but now we will determine how this ends..." "Actually, we were hoping to bump into you guys," Mulder suddenly grinned. The Greys stared at each other in confusion. This didn't happen often. "Maybe, you haven't heard," he continued. "Scully and I no longer work for the FBI." "You resigned?" one Grey queried. "Frustrated? Overwhelmed?" "Nope. Something better came up." Mulder reached out and placed bags in the aliens' hands. "We're running for office." The Greys opened up the bags to see campaign buttons, bumper stickers spouting "Mulder/Scully in '96," and bizarre nerf-shaped fluke worms, symbol of their independent party. "Oh no," one Grey said to the other. "They've turned into politicians." "Do we have any time to explain our platform?" Scully asked sweetly, knowing full well the evil within her words. "Yeeeeeaaaaaaagggggghhhhhh!" both Greys screamed at once. The light surrounding them increased in brightness, the both of them vanishing into the solid white. As suddenly as the bright light appeared, it vanished, leaving the distant stars to gleam in the ebon darkness of night. Mulder glanced up, watching a large triangular ship lift away from the desert floor, the aliens turning tail and fleeing for their lives. "Oh, and one more thing," Mulder shouted as the UFO sped off into the night. "Don't forget to vote!..." Nov.5 "That," Scully grinned from ear to ear, "was fun." "Well, they deserved that after all those anal probes they did on me in the '70s," Mulder snarled. "Do you think those Greys are gone for good?" "Not really." She shrugged. "But they'll avoid this part of the planet on a four-year basis from now on..." They walked arm-in-arm into the banquet hall, filled with their supporters and friends. Posters and banners hung everywhere, bags of balloons bouncing along the ceiling in preparation of a great celebration. Scully quickly went to speak with her mother and younger brother as they worked in the far corner, while Mulder strolled over to the Lone Gunmen, who sat close to the bar surrounded with surveillance and computer equipment. "Guys." Mulder nodded. "How goes it?" "Well," Frohike shrugged, "Langly's been busy hacking into the NBC computers, hoping to change their electoral presentations to resemble football play diagrams." "And?.." "Nothing yet, but their weather reports for tomorrow's `Today' show's gonna include some interesting images of Sharon Stone, I can tell you that..." "Guys, I need something positive..." "Okay," Byers chirped. "We've got word that all the big politicians, from Clinton to Dole to Perot, all of them took a huge beating at the ballot boxes today." "Which means Scully and I won?" "Not really," Byers paused briefly. "There are other candidates, you know..." "What's the word?" Scully wrapped her arms around Mulder, hugging him as she nodded to the Lone Gunmen. "The word is `esoteric,'" Mulder grinned. "But I get the feeling a word we'll be using later tonight would be `victory.'" "Can that be confirmed?" Byers shook his head. "Guys, don't get too optimistic. This election can go in any direction..." "You know," Scully smirked. "You three need to develop your faith a little." She suddenly leaned up to Mulder's ear and whispered something. He arched both eyebrows in shock and then nodded enthusiastically. They stumbled off to a doorway leading elsewhere within the hotel. "Develop our faith?" Langly puzzled. The Lone Gunmen glanced at each other, stunned at Mulder and Scully's optimistic appraisal of the situation. "That does it," Frohike sighed. "They're doomed." Scully shoved Mulder through the doorway into a large, opulent hotel suite. "Scully, I'm impressed," Mulder whistled. "I was hoping perhaps we could get some celebrating out of the way before the night gets too busy," she purred. "You," he murmured, "Are insatiable..." Grinning like a Cheshire cat, she strolled past the bed, pulling off the top cover with an enticing come-hither glance to Mulder. He quickly stumbled over to the bed and stood there, waiting for more. Scully moved seductively toward a tapedeck she had brought earlier, a cassette of specially-recorded songs waiting for the proper moment. She pressed the `play' button before slowly stalking up to where Mulder stood. "I had hoped this music would get you into a Presidential mood..." A glaring guitar solo that once echoed across a historic morning in 1969 tore through the speakers. "Aw, Scully," Mulder whispered as he bent over to kiss her. "How appropriate..." They groped at each other's bodies, pulling away their clothes until they stood there against the bed, completely naked. In the background, Hendrix's version of the "Star-Bangle Banner" faded into a more traditional political tune, played as a President would step forward during momentous speeches and appearances. Scully glanced down along Mulder's body and smirked. "Well? Aren't I going to get a salute?" Mulder arched his eyebrows, noting the song playing in the distance. "`Hail to the Chief' apparently has taken on a whole new meaning this afternoon..." Four hours and one emptied box of condoms later "...And with just 14 percent of the electoral votes in, we already have a clear idea of our projected winner..." "It's us, it's us," Mulder whispered, wrapping his fingers around Scully's hand. "...Winning outright in Virginia, Ohio, New York, and Florida..." "You did prepare some speeches, didn't you?" Scully asked. "Of course," he replied. "Sadly, it means we'll have to get out of bed to speak to the masses..." "What's wrong doing it from our bed?" she arched an eyebrow. "Well..." Mulder arched his own eyebrows. "It's been done before..." "We here at CNN would like to say that our projected winner of the 1996 Presidential campaign is..." Mulder and Scully wrapped their arms around each other, confidently gazing into each other's eyes... "...Sisko and Kira of the Deep Space Nine party!" "What?!?!" Mulder and Scully snarled in unison, watching the statistics roll past the screen. It was true. Sisko and Kira had a sizeable lead in almost every state, with Sheridan and De'lenn a comfortable second. Mulder and Scully were sizing up for third place, having only won New Jersey. "This isn't right!" Mulder snarled, jumping out of bed and running to the door. "Well," Scully sighed. "At least we got more votes than Janeway and Chakotay..." Mulder ran completely naked into the banquet room. It had emptied out except for the Lone Gunmen, who each noticed Mulder's lack of clothing and shook their heads disappointingly. "It's a little too late to court the Ddebers, man," Frohike noted. Mulder took a second to compose himself, and then cover himself with a large poster. "Guys, what happened?" Byers shrugged. "I think it was that last-minute showing of that Tribble memorial episode. Brought all the Trekkies back to their fold." "But...but..." "Look on the bright side," Langly nodded. "We think we can secure the Canadian vote..." "Oh, that would help," Mulder snarled. "Only if they could vote in this country in the first place!" He stormed back to the bedroom, where Scully had gotten most of her clothes back on. "Looks like we're going to have to make a concession speech..." "I...I just can't accept this," Mulder gasped, tossing the poster to one side and collapsing onto the bed. "We're the hottest thing going on television. I mean, do You know anybody who watches either Trek show anymore?.." She shrugged. "With luck, we'll have that movie deal done before 2000, and we can run for office again..." Mulder groaned and shoved his face into the bed sheets. "Mulder..." Scully shook her head and moved closer, rubbing her hand gently against his back. "C'mon, look at the TV screen. Sam Beckett's making his concession speech now..." "I'm not surprised. His show's been off the air for three years..." "Mulder..." "This can't be right!" Mulder bounced from the bed and stormed over to the TV box. "For God's sake, Kira's Bajoran!..." "You know what they say. The whole thing's a popularity contest..." "But we're the highest rated sci-fi/horror show out there!" Mulder turned the TV off and slammed it against the wall. "We've got millions of fans! What happened to their votes?" Mulder glanced about until he spotted the Author: sitting at his computer terminal. "You! This is Your fault!" "Mulder, be careful!" Scully shouted. "Breaking through the fourth wall is dangerous! Look what it did to Bruce Willis's hair!..." Mulder grasped both sides of the monitor screen, forcing himself closer to the writer's reality. "You son-of-a-bitch! You're supposed to let us win! This is our story for God's sake..." Author: Leans Closer to the Screen "Sorry, Mulder. Unfortunately, putting you in the White House would end your career hunting aliens and monsters, and I can't have that. None of us X-Philes can have that. We need to keep you firmly in the realm of fanfic, where you and Scully will argue and flirt with each other during autopsies, where you will spout Mulderisms and Scully will spout her explanations, where the scent of cigarettes will haunt you all forever and ever..." "Never!" Mulder snarled, pressing himself through the computer screen. "We were going places! Doing things! Dammit, we finally got laid!..." Author: Hits Enter KEY, Saves File and Prepares to Download "Good-bye, Mulder and Scully. Return to the regular continuity where you belong. Perhaps I'll finish that Resignation series now....bwha-ha-ha-ha!..." Scully pulled Mulder back from the screen, calming him down as best she could before the story ended. "Sorry, Mulder, it looks like we finally met an enemy we can't beat: an obsessed fan..." The End So There nyah. | -----Jeremiah Smith Lives---------- | -----X-Files-----Freedom is in the mind and the spirit-----The body still must break the chains.I'd like to thank some people...unfortunately their lawyers are threatening to sue me if I mention them as co-conspirators, so maybe later...
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