Title: Trick Or Truth
Author: Lizxphile
Author's page: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/14826/
Written: 10/31/2000
Category: X-Files
Genre: Humor, bit of MSR (not really)
Words: 2622
Rating: PG

Summary: Mulder and Scully have a little Halloween adventure at Mulder's place.

Author's notes: Written for a Halloween challenge!! ;) Rather hastily written, so might contain some slight discrepancies, but just work around any you may find.



October 29th
The office

"Mulder? Is that you?"
Scully walked into the basement office as she did every day and did a double take after seeing what was making the noises she'd heard.
"Boo!" Mulder leapt out from behind the door and grabbed Scully's shoulders, causing her to jump in fright and put her hand on her gun.
"Scully, it's just me!" Mulder exclaimed, letting her go and putting his hands up. Scully saw that it was him and put her gun away with a sigh.
"What the hell are you doing to our office?" she demanded, warily approaching the 6-foot tall plastic alien with a pumpkin for a head that was propped up in a corner. A tape recorder playing evil laughs and scary sounds was on the floor next to it, and Scully frowned and promptly turned it off.
Mulder pouted. "Scullyyyy!! Why'd you turn my tape off?" he whined, going over to turn it back on and being blocked by a very disapproving Scully.
"Mulder I refuse to work in here with that absurd tape on and..." she looked disgustedly at the alien pumpkin. "... that thing in the corner!"
Mulder ducked around Scully and hit play on the tape recorder, then turned to her with a grin, which faded quickly at the Look she was giving him.
"I'm going to leave," she threatened, picking up her bag. Mulder just looked at her.
"You wouldn't," he said with a devilish smile. Upon seeing Scully making for the door, he sighed.
"No! Wait." He reluctantly turned off the tape and plopped into the chair at the desk with a sigh. "I just wanted to get into the spirit of the season!"
Scully came back into the room and put her bag down again. "Spirit of what season? And is that really necessary?" she asked exasperatedly, gesturing again to the pumpkin headed alien.
Mulder chuckled. "Dontcha love it? I got it from that comic store guy I found on the net - only $13.97!"
Scully wrinkled her nose. "Big waste of money for something so stupid," she commented, grimacing at it, then looking away as it stared back.
Looking hurt, Mulder sat back and regarded Scully with a curious frown. "Come on, didn't you like Halloween? I can just imagine you - you were, lemme see..." he paused, then snapped his fingers. "I know. You were catwoman, right?"
Scully laughed. "Noooo, no.. I liked being more, well, real things. No witches or princesses or cats or anything... I can remember one year I was, um..." she stopped and blushed.
Mulder sat forward. "You were what?"
"This is so stupid... I was doctor Barbie." Scully turned even redder and dropped her head into her hands as Mulder started hooting with laughter.
"Doctor Barbie?" he choked out between guffaws and nearly fell out of his chair. "You call that more *real* than catwoman?"
Scully, who'd begun to chuckle with Mulder, shrugged. "I thought she was great - pretty, smart, independent... a friend I had wanted to be Ken, but I wouldn't let him."
Mulder calmed down a bit. "What are you doing on Halloween?"
"Probably sitting at home with the lights off like I do every year," she said. "I'm not big on giving out candy."
Mulder shrugged. "Why don't you come over to my place? I always get it decorated and get all dressed up... I really do have too much fun with Halloween, but it makes me feel like a kid again..."
Scully smiled. "Sounds better than sitting at home in the dark. I'd love to!"
"Great!" Mulder exclaimed, clearly thrilled at the prospect of sharing Halloween with Scully. "One condition; you have to dress up."
Scully's face fell. "Oh no, no no. I won't dress up. Out of the question."
Mulder pouted again. "Puh-leeeze?? I will too! Come on, pleeease?" He fell out of the chair to his knees and scooted over to Scully, grabbing her knees and laying his head in her lap. "Please please please please?"
Rolling her eyes, Scully stood up and smacked him upside the head. "Stop it! I'll think about it."
Mulder stood up rubbing his head and smiled ruefully. "Good. Well - on to this case - "
Scully crossed her arms. "Hold it. The alien pumpkin?"
Mulder sighed disappointedly. "I'll take it home. But can the cobwebs stay?"
Scully looked up and noticed the cobwebs gently moving with the drafts for the first time. "Fine, fine. But no more, got it?"
Smiling happily, Mulder nodded, grabbed Scully's hand and shook it. "Deal. But my house is going to be hundreds of times worse than this."
"It's different at your house than in our office," Scully said disdainfully. "At least I don't have to live or work at your house."
Mulder gave her a cocky grin. "If you hate this you'll utterly despise my house, I'm warning you."
"Mulder, shut up. If you push it I won't come."
Mulder was silent as Scully glared at him, then submissively sat down at the desk and busied himself with the new case. Both agents soon became absorbed in the case and forgot about the Halloween tiff.


Halloween night
5:00 pm



"Just a minute!" Mulder called after the second knock on the door. He pushed his way through the abundant cobwebs hanging from the ceiling and brushed by the motion activated cackling witch by the door. Peeking through the peep hole, Mulder at first frowned, then burst into hysterical laughter as he realized that it really was Scully at the door. He threw the door open and stood agape, looking Scully up and down and still hooting.
"Shut up. Not one word!" Scully exclaimed, stepping unsteadily into the room and almost tripping. Mulder still stared but curbed his laughter somewhat, taking in her costume. She was wearing a very short tight gray skirt, and a silky white blouse under a long white labcoat; 4-inch heels were on her feet and a stethoscope hung around her neck. The crowning glory of the getup was the blond wig on her head and the excessive makeup.
As Mulder still stood with his mouth hanging open, Scully shut the door and adjusted her wig.
"No one but you, Mulder. I wouldn't do this for *anyone* except you," she commented, achieving a good balance on her head with the wig, then taking a look around her. "Jesus, it looks like a real haunted house in here!" She looked around at the numerous jack-o-lanterns everywhere and all the cheesy Halloween stand-ups propped up around the room. A strobe light and dry ice machine were in one corner giving a very eerie effect to the apartment, which was dimly lit by a few black lights and a floor lamp covered with orange tissue paper. Spooky music was playing in the background and spider webs adorned all corners and doorways. Scully had never seen anything so elaborate.
"Yeah, I kinda overdo it sometimes. But I love it," Mulder said, guiding Scully to the living room and sitting her down on the couch. "Care for some blood and guts?" He picked up a glass of red liquid and a bowl containing some indiscernible food covered with red sauce and offered them to Scully.
"That is so childish," Scully commented, taking the glass and sipping from it. "Just red wine... no thanks," she added quickly as Mulder offered her the bowl.
Mulder set the bowl back on the coffee table, took a glass of wine for himself and sat down next to Scully.
"To Halloween," he said, raising his glass; Scully clinked glasses with him and sipped the wine.
"So, ah, Scully, love the costume," Mulder remarked snidely, trying to keep from bursting out laughing.
"I don't see your costume anywhere," Scully retorted, glancing disapprovingly at Mulder's t-shirt and jeans.
"I'm gonna change into it soon... I wanted to wait and see what you were.. actually, I had something in mind, but I'm not sure it's appropriate..."
"No? Try me."
A smile crept across Mulder's face, and he stood up. "Lemme go put it on, you'll see, it'd actually be pretty funny..." He disappeared into his bedroom, and a few minutes later, emerged and stood before Scully, his face turning beet red.
Scully's jaw hit the floor as she stared at Mulder as he had stared at her. He was wearing nothing but a pair of tight boxers with a red cross on the front, and a life preserver was slung around his shoulder; his hair was slicked back with about a quart of gel.
"Lifeguard Ken," Mulder said sheepishly, taking off the preserver and sitting down next to Scully again. "Not very creative, but I thought it'd be funny... I had no idea who you'd be, this is just too perfect!"
Scully, who had been choking back her laughter, looked Mulder up and down again and nodded.
"Yeah, this is weird... Jesus Mulder, we must look like a couple of fools, I mean, I'm sure I look stupid, and you - well, you.."
"Yeah, we both look idiotic I'm sure. But -" Mulder put his arm around her shoulders. "We're Barbie and Ken, babe, let's have fun, shall we?"
Scully rolled her eyes and stood up. "Do kids actually trick or treat here?" she asked, trying to change the subject.
"Yep. That cauldron by the door's filled with candy. Kids come to see my decorations too, I do this every year." Mulder stood up and offered Scully his arm. "Would you like an official tour?"
Scully nodded and Mulder proceeded to lead her on a tour of his haunted apartment; trick or treaters started arriving soon after, and Mulder and Scully busied themselves with passing out candy and showing kids around the apartment if they wanted. Most of them recognized who Mulder and Scully were immediately and oohed and aahed at how cute they looked, which bothered Scully more than it made her uncomfortable; Mulder explained countless times that they really were just friends.
After about 2 hours of passing out candy, business slowed a bit and allowed them to take a break to watch some of "The Exorcist" on TV.
"Hey Mulder, how about some pea soup?" Scully asked jokingly during a commercial break.
Mulder was about to reply when a heavy knock sounded on the door.
"Uh - yeah, you get some started while I get the door." Mulder got up and jogged to the door, and looking through the peep hole, laughed. "Scully, they're dressed like aliens! They get extra candy!"
Scully joined him at the door as he threw it open and beamed at the trick or treaters. "Aliens! My favorites! You all get 3 pieces of candy -" He paused and frowned. "You got bags?"
The aliens, 2 of them, looked at each other, then back at Mulder and ignored the candy he was offering them. They pushed by him and Scully and shut the door behind them, then simply stood in front of them.
Scully glanced at Mulder for his reaction, which, surprisingly, was one of amusement.
"Ok guys, who are you and who put you up to this?" Mulder asked, chuckling. The lights in the room suddenly flickered and went out, and Scully quickly grabbed Mulder's arm.
"Mulder..."
The door suddenly swung open of it's own accord, and a blinding white light shone into the room. Scully and Mulder backed away from the door as the aliens still stood silently staring at them.
"Did you set this up?" Scully asked in a whisper, squinting in the light, which had begun to pulse.
"No!" he whispered back forcefully. He took her hand and slowly walked towards the door. Scully pulled away, but Mulder continued toward the light.
"Mulder!" Scully suddenly ran forward as one of the aliens made for him. As she reached Mulder's side, a strange smell began to waft in from the door, and the room began to dim before Scully's eyes. Scully fell down, and saw Mulder being grabbed by one of the aliens as he collapsed to the floor; she tried to crawl towards him, but found that her limbs would no longer function, and a few seconds later was rendered unconscious.



Scully opened her eyes to a bright blur. Panicking, she quickly jumped up, but sat down again, finding that she was dizzy and unable to stand steadily. With a frown, she realized that she was on Mulder's couch with the TV on, just as she had been before, and Mulder was next to her, seemingly unconscious. She leaned over and shook him, at which he stirred and groaned, putting his hand to his head and sitting up.
"Scully?" He blinked in a confused manner and looked around. "But.. the aliens?" Seeing where he was, he frowned. "Was it - oh nevermind I guess..."
"No, Mulder.. the aliens? And the light at the door?"
Mulder's eyes widened. "Did it really happen?"
The two sat on the couch staring at each other and trying to collect their thoughts for a few moments, then stood up and looked around.
"What time is it?" Mulder immediately asked, turning off the TV. Scully rushed into the kitchen to check.
"It's... 8:23," she called back to him. Mulder looked at his watch and sighed. Scully came back into the room and looked curiously at him.
"Nine minutes, Scully. My watch is nine minutes behind." He sat back down and sighed. "What happened to us?"
Scully sat down with him. "I think it's obvious - someone just played an elaborate trick on us," she said decisively.
Mulder suddenly looked down at himself. "Look." Scully looked at what he was staring at and drew in a sharp breath. His shorts were on backwards. She looked down at herself and discovered that her skirt was backwards and her shirt was inside out. Looking back at Mulder, she dubiously shook her head.
Turning the TV back on, Mulder and Scully sat back to think for a while and to enjoy the rest of their Halloween, hopefully without further incident. They would discuss the incident extensively the next day, but for the rest of the evening, they pondered whether or not anything had happened for real and ate hefty amounts of candy.



A black van sat outside Mulder's apartment. 2 men approached it and opened the back doors, climbing in and shutting the doors quietly behind them. They were greeted by a third man who was attending to some equipment; they all looked at each other for a few moments before anyone spoke.
"Man, that was *excellent*!!!!" Langly exclaimed, clasping hands with Frohike and grinning at Byers. "That was the best operation we've ever executed!"
Byers nodded his head. "The idea of messing up their clothes and setting Mulder's watch back by 9 minutes was *pure* genius! Do you think they have any idea what happened?"
"No way man, that chloroform gas whatever put them right out. Can't wait for Mulder to tell us about this one!" Frohike commented with a satisfied grin. "We should do something like this next year."


FIN

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