Howdy, everybody. I am posting this for Charleyne and I will be posting a few more for her. Please e-mail her if you like them. I know that little 'respond to sender' button is tempting, but control yourselves, or my eudora will kill me :)
Authors' Note: Well folks, here's my first attempt at a some strange chemical mixing. More than chemical... Thanks to Vickie who kindly posted my tales for me, since my server was being greedy!
Please, let me know what ya think.
Dana Scully walked slowly down the hallway. She pushed a strand of auburn hair away from her red and angered face. She was just on her way back from a meeting with Skinner, her slimy boss. She grumbled as she slammed through the door to her office.
Her partner, Fox Mulder, stared at her and smiled as he noticed the look of flushed anger that had crossed her face.
"What's the matter?" he asked.
"Nothing that a shot in the head wouldn't fix." she grumbled and Mulder knew not to question her further. She instantly felt bad about saying it, but didn't correct herself. Instead she made her way through his messy side of the office and plunked her body into her chair. She put her head down on the desk, resting it on her crossed arms. She just closed her eyes and began to concentrate on controlling her anger.
Scully jerked awake. She nearly fell from her chair. A shrill scream had been what awoke her. She glanced about the room. She must've fallen asleep after Skinner had pissed her off. She finally spotted what had awaken her and this time she did fall from the chair. In the corner of the room stood herself. She looked up and down the auburn haired woman before her. She frowned, and scrambled to get up off the floor. Except something was different. When she stood, she discovered that she was almost a head taller than she had been before.
She closed her eyes, then opened them again. The other Dana still stood in the corner, looking at her hands and over her own body. Then she started laughing. Scully was puzzled.
Scully thought that maybe the other Dana was laughing at her, so she looked down. She nearly fainted. She was wearing a suit and an ugly tie. She looked like Mulder. Then suddenly the realization hit her. Jesus Christ! She was Mulder. He knees gave out on her and she pitched forward, grasping the desk for support.
"What the hell is going on?" she gasped. She wondered if Mulder was in her body.
"Shit, Scully. You have a great body!" he said, putting his hands on his hips. Except they weren't his hands, they were hers.
"Mulder, what is this??" she asked.
"I dunno Scully. Hmm, I think you look pretty good. I never realized what a handsome man you were," he said.
"Mulder!!" she screamed. She ran a hand through the short brown hair that was now hers. "I don' t think this is at all funny."
"If you think I'm impressed by this your definitely wrong. You don't know what an ego bruiser this is. What the hell are we going to tell Skinner?" he said. He glanced down at his shoes and grimaced. "How can you stand these things?" he asked, referring to the small pumps on his feet. He reached down and balanced on one foot, pulling the shoe off.
"Mulder, you have the ugliest ties," she said as she loosened the neck tight tie.
"What do you call these things again?" he asked as he plucked the skin tight nylons away from his skin.
"Stop it or you'll put a run in them! They are called nylons or panty hoes." she grinned at him as he fidgeted nervously.
"Scully, look! I have breasts!" he said as he carefully removed the other shoe and padded across the office towards her.
"Mulder, I swear to god if you do anything to my body, you'll regret it!" she said. She was just about to put on his jacket when Skinner walked in the door.
Oh shit! she thought and stepped closer to Mulder. She didn't like the feeling of towering over her own body and she definitely didn't know what to say.
"Agent Mulder," Skinner began.
"Yes?" Mulder answered and Skinners face clouded with confusion. Scully poked Mulder in the ribs and stepped forward.
"She's funny, isn't she? What can I do for you, sir?" she said calmly. She felt like a fool.
"Uh, you two have another case to do. Mulder, I need you in my office in a half an hour. Scully," he said, turning towards Mulder. "I need you to perform an autopsy in bay four. Pronto," he said and stalked away from the office.
"Just great! Now what do I do? I can't perform an autopsy," Mulder said and shrugged.
"Yeah, and I don't exactly want to get into shit for you!" she said and stepped away. She needed time to consider what had happened. Her first question was how on earth could it have happened!
"Well. Here's the deal. I'll go to the meeting with Skinner, telling him that you got sick, and I'll keep him occupied. Then you can sneak into the bay and do the autopsy for me..," he said, rubbing his head thoughtfully. He squinted for a split second. "Shit, I just realized I can't see a damned thing," he said. Scully nodded and went to her desk, fishing out the reading glasses.
"Here, try these on," she said, smiling. "Now, just how exactly do you plan on keeping Skinner busy?" she asked, curiously.
"I don't know. What would you do?" he asked.
"For one, he wouldn't tolerate my going into a meeting in your place. For two, I don't think I'd do anything. Maybe we should just request some vacation time until we get this sorted out."
"Sorted out? You sound like it's a..." he trailed off.
Scully gave him a passive smile and slipped into his jacket. This was going to take some getting used to. Suddenly Scully began to feel uncomfortable. She crossed her legs a bit, then walked around. She knew what the problem was, but she didn't want to correct it in front of Mulder. She felt sick. She knew she'd never get used to being a man, and she knew that being Mulder was even worse. She cringed at the thought.
"Mulder, I'm going insane here! This can't be happening." she mumbled as she tried to adjust the tie.
"Scully, look at me. I'm a woman. I think this is far worse for me than it could possibly be for you. I mean, haven't you ever sometimes wished you could be a man? I seriously have never ever dreamed of being a woman!" he sighed and looked at the shoes that were on the floor. "What do I do now? There's no possible way I can walk in those damned things." he wrinkled his nose under the glasses and toed one of the shoes.
"Mulder, I really don't know how this happened, but I'd sure like to know how to fix it. You're not the only one with problems," she said, glancing down. She smiled again, then added: "I don't even know how to work this thing."
Mulder glared at her, then shrugged. "I guess I deserved that one," he said, then scratched his head. He wasn't used to having so much hair.
"How about I go out into the hallway, check to make sure the coast is clear, then you can run out to the car and we'll find some more suitable shoes at my place, before coming back here to face Skinner." she suggested, then walked toward the door, feeling too lanky and awful.
"Scully," he said, observing the way she walked. "You're going to have to stop walking like a woman. God know's what people are going to think of me by the time you're done," he said, rolling his eyes. Scully snapped around and looked at him with an icy glare that made him wonder if he had ever used it before.
"I suggest you stop while you're ahead. I'm bigger than you now." she raised her fist threateningly.
"Come on Scully, you wouldn't beat me up. I'm in your body and I'm assuming that when we get this all sorted out, you're the one who has to live in it," he said, walked closer to her. She towered over him and looked down, fist still raised.
"Don't tempt me Mulder. I'll live with the consequences," she said, then slapped his arm. Mulder jumped back, stunned.
"Shit! Scully, I never knew you were so receptive to pain," he said, rubbing his arm.
"I just know how to block it out, Mulder," she said, then yanked the door open. She stuck her head out, looking both ways. The hall was clear. She ducked back into the office, closing the door. "It's clear. You make a run for it. I'll meet you back at my place. You take my car. I don't want it to appear any more suspicious than it might already." she said, pushing him towards the door. Mulder sighed and then dashed down the hall, to avoid being seen by any other agents. Scully laughed as she watched him try to run in the skirt, clutching her purse that she'd given him before he left. He was going to have to learn how to walk like a woman, too.
Despite all that had been going on--her meeting with Skinner just this morning-- she was amused. It was a shocking change that would definitely require some thought, however for now she was too preoccupied to feel the real affects of it all.
Scully sighed and then closed the door. Before leaving there was one thing she had to do. She reached down and tugged on the material of his pants, pulling it away from the family jewels.
"Much better," she said, then yanked the door open again, turned out the lights and locked it. Soon after, she followed the direction Mulder had gone, digging in his pockets for his car keys.
Mulder grumbled as he looked around the parking lot. He still clutched her purse. He moved towards her car and then leaned against the door, while he searched the purse for keys. He was so preoccupied with trying to find the keys that he didn't notice when I taller figure stepped up to him.
"Dana." a man said. Mulder jumped, dropping the purse.
"Damn!" he said, then felt a hand on his shoulder. Mulder looked up, then, to find Tom Colton standing before him.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to frighten you." the man said and he leaned closer to him. Mulder instantly cringed. If he really knew who I was... he thought, then remembered that he was supposed to be Scully. He had to fight the urge to punch this jerk in the face.
"Oh, hey. It's no problem," he said, looking frantically around for Scully. Finally, not seeing her, he glanced down at the purse and then nervously bent to pick it up. Out of courtesy, Tom bent down and began to pick up the contents that had spilled out. He grinned at Mulder. "So," Mulder began. "It's been a while, huh?" he said, then he felt his face flush. Damn it, Scully! Hurry up!
"I know, I just wanted to apologize for the way--" Tom began, then he stepped back as he noticed the tall man crossing the lot. Immediately he stopped talking. Mulder breathed a silent sigh of relief and glanced at Scully as she strode nonchalantly towards them.
"Scully." She called, and Mulder blushed again. He felt so foolish. She was definitely going to hang this one over his head. As she neared, Colton seemed to cringe away. Mulder was furious. He didn't like this jackass, probably less than he liked Mulder.
"Mulder, listen, we have to talk," he said, then he wiggled his toes. That action attracted Colton's attention, for some reason, to his feet which were stockinged but shoeless. Tom leaned forward for a moment.
"Uh, Dana, where are your shoes?" he asked.
"They were... They were, ah, hurting my feet, so I took them off," he said, finally Scully stepped up to them and smiled at Colton, offering her hand.
"Tom," she said, and he cringed, but gripped her hand anyway.
"Ah, listen, Dana I'll catch up to you another time, huh?" he said, and stepped away. He looked as if he wanted to run.
"Sure," Mulder said simply, and Colton rushed off. When he was gone, Scully burst out laughing. It sounded funny to hear his own voice and laughter from the perspective of another person. Suddenly he was angry at her. "What's so funny?" he asked.
Scully tried to control her laughter, but it just wouldn't stop flowing. Finally, between laughs and rubbing the tears from her eyes, she managed to answer him. "Mulder, I could have sworn that if you hadn't been here, he would have shot me," she said.
"And you think it's amusing that he hates me that much?" he asked, his tone sobering her up immediately.
"Well, I--" she began but Mulder cut her off, roughly grabbing her arm and yanking her closer to him. He gave her a stern look that probably would have looked funny to any onlooker.
"Let's just get out of here, huh?" he nearly pleaded. She nodded and walked towards his car, quickly getting in and leaving him to find her keys. He sighed and leaned his head against the door, closing his eyes. Jesus, this is terrible, he thought.
As Scully drove away from Mulder, she couldn't help but feel guilty. She shouldn't have laughed at him, but it was a natural reaction. If she hadn't laughed, she would have killed herself by now. He didn't know it, but being "Spooky" Mulder wasn't the easiest thing in the world. After all, he was the one who was the believer in strange things. She couldn't come up with strange theories like he did.
She stared at the road, as she drove, and hoped that this was not a permanent condition. She couldn't think of anyone to tell. She imagined approaching her sister as Mulder and trying to explain that she was actually herself. Wouldn't that go over well, she thought angrily.
What had happened anyway? She awoke from falling asleep only to find Mulder standing in the corner, in HER body. She couldn't even begin to contemplate what had happened. She tightened her grip on the wheel.
She was so distracted that she found her attention turning away from the road. She sighed loudly and flipped on the radio. A loud tune blared out from the stereo and Scully nearly jumped.
"Damn!" she cried and snapped it off again. What had Mulder called that stuff? Pearl Jam? Yeah, that was it. She decided to try the stereo again, but this time she adjusted the volume first. The song was called rearview mirror. Scully yawned and then she noticed she was nearing her home. Within minutes she was parked, out of the car and walking quickly towards her apartment.
Mulder followed Scully. He felt horrible and very uncomfortable in her skirt. He wondered how she could handle it. Another thing that drive him up the wall was the straps of the bra. For some reason he was just consciously aware that they were there, although they weren't biting into his skin. Even the way her hair hung in his eyes made him want to go to the barber and chop it all off, but he was afraid of what Scully would do to his body if he even so much as touched hers, which might end in being difficult.
He sighed and pulled into the parking space beside the one where she'd parked. He grabbed the purse from the seat beside and stepped out of the car, smoothing the skirt out. He was still in his stalkinged feet, and now he knew that there was a run in them. He rolled his eyes and hurried up the walk toward the building. By the time he found the key and was up the stairs, he felt even worse. He pushed the key into the lock of her door, when suddenly it flew open and she stepped out. Mulder stepped back.
"I'm never going to get used to this." he mumbled as he looked up into the hazel eyes of the man before him.
"Tell me about it," Scully said and pulled him into the apartment. "Now, get in here so we can get you something a little better to wear," she said. Mulder sat quietly on the couch while Scully padded to her room, in search of some jeans and a sweat shirt.
Mulder rubbed his face, then remembered about the stuff that women plaster to it, called makeup. He sighed and pulled his hands away. He didn't want to have her fixing his makeup too.
"Scully," he shouted, still not used to hearing her voice instead of his own. "I'm not going back to work. I'm going call Skinner and tell him that I'm sick." he leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes. Scully came back into the room, a pair of jeans and a shirt tucked under her arm.
"Fine," she said, and tossed the bundle at him. "You can use the bathroom." she made her way to the kitchen and filled the kettle with water. "Do you want some tea?" she asked.
"Sure, I'd love some," he replied from the other end of the apartment. Scully nodded and put out two cups.
By the time Mulder was out of the bathroom and in some fresh, seemably more comfortable clothes, Scully had made two cups of tea and was sitting at the table silently sipping hers. Mulder sat down and glanced at the cup before him. It said, Dana on the side, followed by coloured patterns.
"Cute." he commented than sipped the tea. He closed his eyes as he tasted the hot liquid in a mouth that was not his own. For some reason, he thought it tasted different. Not that it bothered him, in many respects it tasted better.
He finally opened his eyes and looked across the table at Scully who had fixed him with an unreadable stare. He held the her eyes, but she didn't look away. It looked as though she were day dreaming. "Scully?" he asked, waving a hand.
"Mulder." she replied but the look didn't fade.
"Uh, why are you staring at me?" he asked.
"I'm trying to think. Shut up, will you?" she asked, and finally looked away. Mulder felt unnerved. Maybe she was having a harder time with this than he at first had thought. Maybe it was selfish of him to think that he was worse off. It could shatter such a hard working woman's visions, to suddenly become a man. He sighed and stood up. He walked over to her and put a hand on her shoulder.
"Scully, it's going to be alright. I think maybe we should talk this over, don't you?" he asked, his grip tightened on the broad shoulder. Finally she looked up at him and smiled, weakly.
"Mulder, I've been thinking, what if we never can get back to ourselves? What then?" she asked, tears welling in her eyes. It seemed so strange to see her crying from within her body. He was startled.
"Scully, don't cry. We'll work it out..," he said, and began to rub her back. Suddenly a sharp knock came on the door and Mulder jumped. He leaned close to her ear and whispered. "Who the hell could that be? You're supposed to be at work now." he asked.
"I--I don't know." she replied and looked at the door, where the knocking continued. Finally after a few minutes the knocking ceased and they knew the person had left. Scully stood quickly and went to the door. Without thinking she yanked it open and looked around. Before she could even react, a big man was standing before her, holding a gun to her head. Mulder jumped up, reaching for his gun.
"Hold it right there, lady." the man said, "If you even think of moving so much as an inch, I'll blow your friends head off," he said, shaking the gun at Scully who was now frozen where she stood. Mulder grumbled but remained still. He observed the man. He was taller than Mulder's body and about 30 pounds heavier. There would be no way that Scully could overtake the man. Even the colour of his eyes seemed more vibrant to Mulder. He was suddenly furious. Someone from the dark parts of the government was after Scully and would have assassinated her... Mulder, get yourself under control, he thought. If this man was here to kill Scully, then he's going to shoot you, not her. Suddenly Mulder was glad, for the first time since this morning that this strange mix up had occurred.
Scully looked at the man before her. She wondered what would have happened had Mulder not been here with her. She knew that both would be dead in the next few minutes anyway. She stared at the barrel of the gun, which had a silencer threaded to it. The man pointed the gun away from her in one second and shot Mulder clean through the head. Scully screamed and lunged toward the man, but he was too quick. He swung the gun around and pointed it at her. Scully stopped in mid stride.
"Why?" she breathed, feeling like crying. She was so shocked at the speed this man worked with. He had wasted no time getting his job done.
"It's not for you to know..," he said, and squeezed the trigger. Everything seemed to move in slow motion. Scully saw the bullet leave the gun and watched as it neared her. Within an instant the bullet entered her brain and she was dead.
A bright light shone before her closed eyelids. She struggled to reach the light and finally she snapped her eyes open. A beam of light shone onto her face and she fought the urge to scream. Was this heaven? she wondered. Then something told her that it wasn't. The light slowly faded and she heard a familiar voice.
"Scully? You alright?" It was Mulder. Scully still felt disoriented. She closed her eyes, reaching up to her forehead and feeling for a bullet hole. Finding none, she opened her eyes slowly again. This time, a clearer image of the room appeared. In front of her desk, stood a bewildered looking Mulder, a flashlight in his hand. Scully breathed a heavy sigh of relief and choked back some tears that threatened to emerge from her eyes.
"I'm fine," she said. "Just fine," she said, and she looked down to find herself in her own body. "Thank god." she said with such a relief that Mulder looked at her with even more of a puzzled expression.
"Scully?" he asked again, leaning his palms on the desk, and lowering his body so that he could be eye level with her as she sat in the chair.
"Mulder, I really don't think you want to know." she said. His eyes flashed with a strange light and he stood up again.
"Alright," he said and moved to his own desk.
"But maybe I'll tell you anyway," she said and that got his attention. She spent the next five minutes explaining her dream to him, as best she remembered it. Mulder's mouth suddenly turned into a smile and she knew what was coming. To her surprise he didn't make a wisecrack. She sighed again with relief and then pushed her chair back. "I'm going to get some coffee. I think the rest of this day is going to be shot," she said and walked out of the office, leaving Mulder to burst into peels of laughter.
Wow. That ending was rushed, I know, but I was getting sick of this story sitting here and waiting to be written. It's been here for a couple of months just saying: "Finish me, post me." and I couldn't stand it any longer. It's driving me up the wall!
Anyway, comments would be appreciated.
Until next time,
LGW #41 SYX #276
There are many things in this world that need to be explained. Most of those things cannot be explained. That's why Chris Carter created Fox Mulder and Dana Scully.
the truth is out there
the truth is out there, but so are the lies - Scully
If we would know the great truths, we must seek them at the source - Van Dyke
Mulder, toads just fell from the sky! - Scully
They say even though it's made for a woman, it's strong enough for a man - Mulder
Mulder, don't be rediculous -- Squirrels don't shop at Beckers, they shop at Mike's Mart - Scully (in a farce by the other CH in this household)
Before anyone passes judgement, may I remind you, we are in the arctic - Mulder
I put it back in that drawer with all those other videos that aren't yours - Scully