Title: Spirit 05 - Spirits and Aliens and Scully, Oh My!
Author: Lycana
Written: 1995
Standard Disclaimer: The X-files, Fox Mulder, Dana Scully, Walter Skinner, et al. belong to Ten/Thirteen, Chris Carter, FOX Broadcasting and are used without permission. Music to the included songs belongs to Harold Arlen. Sue if you want, I have no money. Everything else is MINE! Especially the X-filk lyrics. This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to anyone, living, dead or otherwise is a total coincidence. If these events seem familiar, I seriously suggest you get professional help.
Rated W for definite weirdness on my part. This is the worst one yet. Some violence, a little *naughtiness*, but nothing we haven't seen before. Some names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Summary: Scully visits the land of Oz.

Note: This is the fifth "Spirit" story. Everybody's favorite guardian angel is back! I'm almost afraid to take credit for this thing. It got a bit out of hand. And so, with sincere apologies to Mr. Baum and Ms. Garland, etc., etc...

Scully eyed her partner's syrup coated plate with a decidedly queasy feeling. They had pulled off the highway for a late lunch and gas. The restaurant Mulder found insisted that they served the best pancakes in the state. So, while she had gotten a light meal of a fruit salad and cottage cheese, he wolfed down a heaping pile of maple-drenched pecan pancakes. "I will never understand how you can just *eat* like that," she grumbled.

Mulder just patted his stomach and smiled contentedly. "You should have tried them, Scully." His cheeks puffed momentarily as he swallowed a burp. "They were delicious."

She gave him one of her Looks and mumbled under her breath. He was certain that he heard 'men' and 'conspiracy' pass her lips, but somehow he doubted it was the sort of theory he'd be interested in. Chuckling silently he paid the check and escorted her back to their rental car.

She settled into the passenger seat, more than happy to let Mulder drive the rest of the way to the airport. In less than eight hours, barring an act of god, she'd be home, in her pajamas, in her bed. The case they'd just finished had been harder on her than Mulder. She mentally shook herself. It wasn't right to feel that way. For once, he wasn't blaming himself for every lost second and misstep. She supposed that either his mind wasn't connecting personally the way hers had, which was unlikely, or that his personality had matured over the years they'd been partnered and he'd finally outgrown that need to take everything on himself. No, that was even more unlikely.

With a sigh she pushed the questions from her mind and looked out the window at the passing scenery. Corn fields and wheat fields cut by a ribbon of concrete highway. Not a lot of excitement. The white lines that divided the road zipped past in an even rhythm, almost hypnotic. She wondered momentarily if the government set up the stripes and speed limits as a test on human consciousness. More than one distance driver had died because of the mind-numbing boredom of driving mile after mile of featureless highway. Wasn't there a syndrome or something? Maybe one of the Lone Gunmen... She snapped herself back from the thought. Good grief, she was starting to sound like Mulder, even in the relative safety of her own mind!

Speaking of whom... he was fiddling with the radio knobs more than the steering wheel. "Mulder, keep your mind on the road," she warned.

"I don't think you need to worry, Agent Scully," he responded. "It's practically a straight line."

She shifted in her seat, trying to get a bit more comfortable. Why couldn't she just drop off to sleep the way Mulder always managed to do? She stifled a yawn and returned her mind to the countryside. More corn and wheat, occasionally punctured by a track of earth left fallow, passed the window of the car. The plants where tall, probably taller than her, thanks to kind rains that had fallen, sans hail, to end the farmers' fear of drought. The thought was accompanied by the sound of water hitting the roof and windows. Mulder turned on the wipers as they drove into a small shower. The blue sky was replaced by storm clouds, gray and black, tumbling like smoke through the sky.

"This doesn't look good," Mulder noted. The wind picked up, pushing hard against the car as it raced across the flat plains. He had to struggle a bit to keep the vehicle from being blown off of the road.

Scully's hands gripped the armrest, her knuckles whitening. "Oh, no," she moaned. Mulder's eyes widened.

A swirling funnel dropped out of the sky and roared straight for them.

She was falling and flying and floating in a whirl of wind and clouds. There was no up or down or anything. Then there was a rush of sound and everything stopped. Her inertia threw her forward, her head connecting with the dashboard, and the world went black.

Scully shook herself awake. She was still in the rental car. Her head didn't hurt at all, which was surprising. She turned to the empty driver's side and cursed softly. Where the hell could Mulder have gone? She opened the door and stepped cautiously out of the vehicle.

She gaped at the Technicolor (R) world around her. Carefully she walked a few yards from the car and looked at the town into which she'd dropped. It was unnaturally quiet. Once in a while there was a rustle of movement, or a soft giggle. She couldn't find Mulder anywhere. "Hello?" she called.

A glowing ball of green light descended in front of her. Scully backed away cautiously, drawing her gun from beneath her blue suit jacket. Wait, her suit had been gray, not blue. Never the less, she was now wearing her favorite blue suit.

The ball grew, swirling for a few moments, then solidified. Jessica Miller shook out the folds of her green fairy-princess costume, fluttered her translucent wings, and approached Scully. She held a silver wand in one hand as she half-floated, half-danced toward the truly confused woman.

"So, are you a good agent or a bad agent?" Jessica asked, her voice lilting.

"I, ah..." Scully shook her head and put away her weapon.

Jessica smiled brilliantly, her green eyes twinkling. "You must be a good agent, since you've killed the Wicked Bitch." The rustling and giggles sounded again. The dead seventeen-year-old turned away and called, "Come out, come out! She won't hurt you."

Scully started as dozens and dozens of little gray EBEs poured out of the houses and bushes. A few joined hands and danced in a circle around her. Their voices were high, squeaky things as they began to sing. "Ding, dong, the Bitch is dead. Which Bitch? The Wicked Bitch! Ding, dong..." Jessica was grinning, waving her wand like a conductor's baton in time to the music.

Scully broke out of the circle of aliens and grabbed Jessica's arm. "What's going on?" she demanded.

Jessica turned back to the rental car. Its fall from reality had popped the wheels off so the chassis was resting flat on the ground. Sticking out from under its edge, however, were the head and arms of a dead woman. As she neared it, Scully realized it was Phoebe Green. She'd been smashed flatter than the pancakes Mulder had eaten for lunch. A briefcase was handcuffed to one of her wrists. Another set of EBEs joined hands and danced around the car. "She's gone where the goblins go... below, below, below..." The singing stopped abruptly as a plume of choking cigarette smoke exploded from the ground.

"I want that briefcase!" Cancer Man demanded from inside the nicotine cloud. The little gray EBEs ran for cover. Jessica stepped between Scully and the advancing menace. She waved her wand and the briefcase, handcuffs and all, disappeared from Phoebe's vicinity. It reappeared attached to Scully's wrist. She noticed immediately that the cuffs were lined with red fur. "No! That case is mine!" he shouted as Phoebe's head and arms melted away into a pile of sizzling green goo.

"No, it is Dana's. You have no power here!" Jessica argued. "Return to your dismal domain!"

Cancer Man cursed, flicking the ashes from his burning cigarette in Scully's direction. "I'll get you, my pretty. And your silly partner, too!" He vanished the same way he'd come, in a billow of brown smoke with a shriek and coughing laughter.

"Jessica," Scully said tiredly, "what's going on? How do I get back to the real world?"

The girl put her hands on her hips and frowned. "And I thought you'd catch on faster than Mulder. Oh, well." She led the way into town. "You'll have to talk to Skinner, Dana," she said.

"So, where do I find him in this nuthouse?"

Jessica smiled sweetly and pointed her wand at the ground. "Follow the Internet Road," she said.

Scully frowned at her. "The what?" The path started in a spiral and led out of the town. It was made of fiber optic cable and plastic and copper wire.

"C'mon, Scully. You know that there's no such thing as the Information Super-Highway. This is all there really is, in spite of media hype and the morons in Congress." Jessica twirled prettily. "Follow the Internet Road," she sang.

One of the EBEs stepped forward. "Follow the Internet Road," it sang, its voice a deep bass.

Another of the aliens drew close to her. "Follow the Internet Road," it harmonized, this time in a piping soprano.

Soon there was an extra-terrestrial chorus around her. "Follow the Internet, follow the Internet, follow the Internet Road!"

"You're off to see Walt Skinner, He's an A.D. for the Feds! Skinner's his name, but he's not to blame. Cuz there isn't a hair on his head! No, there isn't, there isn't a hair on his head cuz Mulder's name makes him see red... see red, see red, see red, see red, SEE RED! When he ends up in a hospital bed. la la la, la la la, la! You're off to see Walt Skinner, He's an A.D. for the Feds!"

"If you think I'm going to skip, you can forget it," Scully said. She held the handle of the briefcase in one hand. "I don't skip."

Jessica laughed. "Of course not. But don't forget your dog." She slipped one end of a red leather leash over Scully's other wrist.

"My what?" She turned, her eyes following the length of the leash to the red leather dog collar around Mulder's neck. Like her, his clothing had changed. Now instead of a navy suit and loud tie, he was wearing black jeans and a black vest that left his arms and most of his chest bare. "Mulder?"

He smiled slightly and shrugged. Jessica walked over to him and patted his shoulder. "Now, Scully," she said with a grin. "Don't tell me you never *once* wanted to be able to do this."

No matter how much she wanted to deny it, the truth was she could think of many, many occasions that she'd wished she could tie a leash around his neck. She smirked. "Okay, I won't."

"Now you're getting into the spirit!" Jessica made shoo-ing motions at the agents. "Go on, off to the Federal City. Talk to Skinner." The EBEs continued to sing them on their way. "And stay on the Road! The surrounding land isn't safe!" the girl called in warning after them.

"So, Mulder, what's your theory about this?" Scully inquired.

"I've learned to just go with the flow when it comes to Jessica," he replied. They were following the Road, as Jessica had instructed. Scully dropped the leash as soon as they were out of site of the little town. It was bad enough that the briefcase she carried was handcuffed to her wrist. Worse yet, the cuffs were lined with red fur. Not exactly standard government issue. Mulder idly scratched the back of his head, not for the first time.

She looked at him with some concern. "Why do you keep doing that?"

"Doing what?"

Reaching up, she grabbed his wrist, pulling his hand away. "Scratching your head."

"I dunno. Fleas, maybe?" He freed his arm from her grip and started scratching again.

"Mulder, be serious." She stopped and gripped his shoulder, dragging him down. "Let me look."

"I don't think you need to... ah..." his voice cut off abruptly as her fingers ran through his hair. He collapsed at her feet and pressed his cheek against her hip. "That feels good," he murmured.

"There's nothing there," she said, removing her hand. He looked up at her with that lost-puppy look, dark eyes wide and a slight pout on his lips. "I think you're taking this 'dog' thing a little to literally," she pointed out.

"Woof," he said.

 They continued on down the road. The wild-flower filled fields had been replaced with farmland full of corn. "This is almost as bad as the trip that brought us here," Scully said.

"Um," was Mulder's noncommittal response. They'd come to a fork in the road. "Which way?" he queried.

"You're asking me?"

"You could go that way," said the Scarecrow, looking off to the left. He was hooked to a pole where the road divided, a pair of giant black birds perching on his shoulders. "Or you could go that way," he continued, turning his face to the right.

"It talks?" Scully said. She moved forward to peer up at the face. "Langly?"

"Hey, Scully," the Lone Gunman said. "You're looking good." The scraggly-haired blond man grinned down at her hopefully. "Do you think you can get me down?"

"Give me a second," Mulder said as he hopped the fence. Reaching up behind Langly, he tugged at the spike holding the Gunman up. A sharp snap sounded, and the Scarecrow fell to earth.

"Thanks, man."

Mulder rejoined Scully on the Road. "Not a problem."

Langly also hopped the fence. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"We're going to the Federal City to see Walt Skinner," Scully answered.

"He's supposed to know all, so he should be able to get us out of here," Mulder added.

"Do you think he could help me?"

"What's your problem?" Mulder inquired.

Langly grinned, snapping his fingers to a beat only he could hear.

"It's degrading, it's demeaning, but my conscience don't need cleaning cuz my sex life is a joke. la-la, la-la, la-la... It may sound a little stupid but I need to talk to Cupid. I'm a lonely little bloke.

Every night I'm on the street looking for some Body Heat even if she must be paid. la-la, la-la, la-la... If you see me with a 'looker' you can bet that she's a hooker and I'm still not getting laid."

He shuffled a bit in time to his lyrics, soft-shoeing his way around Scully. "I don't suppose you'd help me out, Dana?" he asked hopefully.

"Not a chance," she answered with a glare. Mulder was choking on laughter.

In the end Scully had decided to follow the right-hand path. She tried, unsuccessfully, to ignore the conversation going on between Mulder and Langly. It had started with a comment about the dog collar ("I didn't realize you were that kind of woman, Dana," Langly had said.) and quickly escalated into graphic descriptions of porno movie stunts. At least, she assumed they were movie stunts. A few of them sounded like they broke the laws of physics.

They left the farmland behind and entered a thick wood. A rather dark wood. She didn't like it much. Usually, walking in the forest with Mulder ended with weeks in quarantine. And the briefcase, which no one seemed to be able to get open, was starting to drag a bit on her arm.

"Hey, what's that?" Mulder asked a split second before dashing off between the trees.

"Mulder!" Scully shouted after him. She should have kept a hold on that leash. With a sigh she followed him, leaving the safety of the Road for the uncertainty of the forest. Why was it she was always following him, against her better judgment, into places where angels feared to tread?

"Scully! Over here!" She worked her way around a few more trees to find her partner standing next to a man in a metallic silver business suit and tie.

"Byers?" she asked when she recognized him. Wonderful. Another Lone Gunman. "What are you doing here?"

Byers sighed and let his head fall to his chest. "I'm hiding. What are you two doing here?"

"We're going to the Federal City to get Skinner to help us," Mulder answered.

"Do you think he could help me, too?" Byers questioned hopefully.

"With what?" Scully asked, half afraid of the answer.

Byers hummed for a moment, then broke into song.

"I worked for Uncle Sam 'til I got into a jam about some secret files. la-la, la-la, la-la... Just cuz I'd called some boys to hash out all the joys of Government denials.

My stuff was confiscated, my domicile raided by several Men In Black. la-la, la-la, la-la... Now I've rebuilt my system but a few things I am missin' and I really want them back."

Langly strolled up, leaving a trail of straw behind him, and punched Byers lightly in the shoulder. "How's it hanging, man?" he asked.

"It isn't," Byers replied. "Not until I can find all of the parts I need."

Byers hadn't been able to help Scully with the mysterious briefcase, either. So, the foursome continued on their way, following the Internet Road toward the Federal City. The woods around them grew thicker, and darker, and scarier. Byers and Langly followed behind Mulder and Scully, cringing at every sound.

"This place is probably contaminated by unauthorized radioactive waste disposal," Byers muttered.

"Or they're training Special Forces operatives to infiltrate undeveloped countries," Langly said.

"Soldiers..." Byers whispered.

"and Weapons..." Langly murmured.

"and MIBs..." Mulder added.

"Oh, my!" Byers cried, cringing at the dreaded thought. He and Langly managed to force Mulder and Scully to pick up the pace, the Gunmen speaking, in chorus, "Soldiers and Weapons and MIBs, oh my!" They kept repeating the phrase in fear-hushed voices.

This went on for about thirty yards. Then Scully pulled the men to a stop. "That is *enough*!" she shouted at them. "I can't stand it anymore!"

A fearful ROAR! shook the nearby trees, and a man dressed in brown jumped onto the Road in front of them. He opened his mouth and the ROAR! sounded again. Scully stalked straight at him and shouted, "Quiet!"

Frohike just about fainted dead away. He dropped to his knees, cowering before the angry female agent. "Don't hurt me!" he pleaded, tugging at his bow-tie as his Adam's apple bobbed up and down.

Langly and Byers rushed to aid their friend. Mulder moved to stand next to his partner. "You didn't need to scare him like that," he said.

Scully grabbed the dog leash and jerked down, pulling Mulder's eyes even with her own. "Don't push me, Mulder," she warned him. If looks could kill...

"Is it that time of the mon---" his question was cut off as her hand moved from a death grip on the leash to a death grip on his throat. "Sorry," he croaked out, gasping for air when she released him.

"We're going to the Federal City to ask Walt Skinner for help," Byers answered Frohike's questions about their travel plans.

"Do you think he could help me, too?" the third Gunman (not the one on the grassy knoll) asked carefully.

"Why, what's your problem?" Langly inquired. Frohike clapped out a quick rhythm.

"Oh, no, not again," Scully sighed as the little man began to sing.

"I've been wheeling, I've been dealing, I've been campaigning and so feeling. I've been suave and debonair. la-la, la-la, la-la... But then I feel trapped or I end up getting slapped by the sex that is most fair.

I've tried begging, and pleading now my hairline is receding from the top of my head. la-la, la-la, la-la... It can be such a daunting task but is it too much to ask for one date before I'm dead?"

"A date with who?" Mulder asked. Frohike looked appealingly at Scully.

"No," she said.

"You could take us both at once, two problems, one solution," Langly offered.

Scully reached up and hooked several fingers through the dog collar around Mulder's neck. "Don't say anything," she warned him. A smirk crossed his face, but he remained obediently silent.

Finally, the two agents and three Gunmen made it to the Federal City. Gleaming white marble was everywhere, and the gates were locked. Mulder took a hold of the giant bell-cord and pulled. A hollow booming sounded within the building. Several feet above their heads a round door opened, and Skinner's secretary stuck her head out, frowned at them, and slapped a large sign on the door before retreating from sight.

'Bell Out of Order... Please Knock' it said.

Mulder rolled his eyes. "Bureaucrats," he sighed as he knocked the heavy door knocker.

Skinner's secretary reappeared above them. "What do you want?" she asked.

"We want to see Skinner," Scully replied.

"Do you have an appointment?" the secretary inquired.

Scully pulled out her identification. "I am Special Agent Dana Scully. I do not need an appointment!"

"Scully?" the secretary said. "Why didn't you say so! Come on in."

They were escorted by the secretary into a long, imposing hallway. "Skinner will see you now," she said.

"WHO DARES TROUBLE THE GREAT ASSISTANT DIRECTOR?" a voice bellowed, echoing down the hallway. They approached the source of the sound cautiously. Flames shot up from each side of a large throne atop a dais. As they reached the edge of the dais a large bald head materialized above the throne. "WHO DARES?" Skinner bellowed, glaring down at them.

"Sir, I need your help," Scully said.

"HELP? AND WHY SHOULD I RISK MYSELF TO HELP YOU?" Skinner demanded. "YOU AND THAT PARTNER OF YOURS HAVE COST ME TOO MUCH ALREADY!" More flames erupted around the throne in an impressive display of pyrotechnics. The Lone Gunmen cringed behind Mulder, who was carefully *not* drawing attention to himself.

"But, sir..."

"NO, AGENT SCULLY! I WILL NOT HELP YOU!" The floating head paused thoughtfully. "UNLESS..."




"HIS LIGHTER! BRING ME HIS LIGHTER!" Flames erupted for the third time. "NOW, GO!!!!!!"

The Lone Gunmen were somehow able to drag Mulder and Scully from the fearful presence of the Assistant Director.

 They were back on the Internet Road again. Skinner's secretary had been kind enough to provide Scully with a map that had Cancer Man's castle clearly marked.

As they traveled, the woods grew sickly and darker. Not a sound was heard from the woods. The Lone Gunmen had no problems letting Mulder and Scully go first. They passed several signs on their way. 'TOP SECRET' 'AUTHORIZED PERSONNEL ONLY' 'KEEP OUT... THIS MEANS YOU' 'TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT ON SIGHT'

"Friendly, isn't it?" Mulder noted softly.

Then a shriek split the sky. Shadowy figures dove from above. The Lone Gunmen scattered as Winged Monkeys descended and abducted Scully and Mulder, carrying them off to imprisonment in Cancer Man's castle.

The one carrying Scully had Alex Krycek's face.

Cancer Man blew a noxious ring of smoke into Scully's face, forcing her to hold her breath to keep from choking. "Did you think you could just walk in and take me by surprise?" he asked. Scully remained silent.

Mulder, however, growled a indecipherable comment through the muzzle Krycek had placed over his mouth.

Ashes flicked in Mulder's direction as Cancer Man chuckled. "I will have that briefcase and its contents. You two will not be greatly missed, I think."

"Sir!" Krycek shouted as he came running into the room. "Security's been breached! The system's been hacked!"

"We have to save Scully!" Frohike declared.

"And how are we going to get in there to do that?" Langly asked.

"We hack the security system, of course," Byers answered.

 Krycek half-carried, half-dragged a struggling Mulder down the corridor behind Cancer Man and Scully. His boss had a tight grip around Scully's arm, keeping her under control. Servants and underlings scrambled from out of their way as they rushed through the castle.

They met the Lone Gunmen in the courtyard. Cancer Man glared at Krycek. "These fools?" he asked, pointing at the Gunmen. "These pathetic fools hacked *my* security system?"

"Yup," answered Langly, proudly displaying a fistful of wires ripped from some unknown place. "Piece of cake."

"SILENCE!" Cancer Man thundered at them. He gestured sharply at Krycek, who dropped Mulder and drew his gun. "Kill them," Cancer Man instructed his faithful flunky.

Mulder rolled across the ground into the back of Krycek's legs, dropping him. Scully wrenched herself from Cancer Man's grip and grabbed the nearest thing that could serve as a weapon (She'd been relieved of her sidearm upon capture.). This turned out to be a bucket full of suds that one of the servants had been using to scrub the floor. She threw it, contents and all, at Cancer Man.

"Ugh!" he cried as the liquid hit him. "I'm melting!" Sure enough, the soapy liquid ate right through him, reducing the cigarette smoker to a puddle of brown sludge.

"Oh, gross," Frohike said. Mulder grunted, and the Lone Gunman removed the muzzle.

"Krycek's getting away!" he said, too late. The slippery shadow agent was gone. He worked his jaw for a few minutes under Scully's supervision. She declared that he'd live.

Byers was questioning the scrubbing servant. "What was in that stuff?"

The servant cowered. "A special cleaner. All that cigarette smoke left impossible stains. So we got a cleaner that could eat through tar and nicotine."

Scully wrinkled her nose at the sludge puddle. "All that smoking. Tar and nicotine were all that was holding his body together."

Langly bent and poked at the steaming clothing, finally standing with a triumphant grin. After cleaning it off with his shirt, he handed the coveted Lighter to Scully.

"SO," Skinner's voice boomed at them. "YOU'VE RETURNED."

"Not entirely by choice," Mulder muttered so low only Scully heard him. She elbowed him in the ribs. He had wanted to remain in Cancer Man's castle with the Lone Gunmen. The three had been more interested in all the fascinating secrets in the castle than the possibility of Skinner's help with their individual problems. Scully had resorted to dragging her reluctant partner off by a firm grip on the dog leash.

"Yes, sir," Scully answered. "And we've brought the Lighter you requested."


"But, sir..."


Scully considered, briefly, telling him exactly what he could do with his threat. Mulder, meanwhile, was poking at a large curtain off to one side of the room. He whipped it aside, exposing the real Skinner. He reached forward and tapped the Assistant Director on the shoulder. Skinner startled and turned. With a sigh, he shut off the special effects.

"Oh, well," Skinner said. "I was going to have to talk to you anyway." He took the Lighter from Scully and removed the bottom, dumping a key out. The key fit both the lock for the red-fur handcuffs and the briefcase.

Scully rubbed her abused wrist with a sigh. Finally she was rid of that damn thing. Both she and Mulder looked on with undisguised curiosity as the Assistant Director opened the briefcase.

Skinner smiled softly as he looked at the contents. With great care he picked up the toupee and placed it on his head. Moving off to one side, he stood in front of a large mirror and adjusted it.

"A cheap rug? That's it?" Mulder asked incredulously.

"Just wait a few years, Agent Mulder," Skinner replied. "And you'll be searching for one, too."

 Scully sat dejectedly on the steps of the Federal City with Mulder sprawled out next to her. "Great," she said. "We went through all of that so Skinner could have a hairpiece. And he can't help us get home."

Mulder rested his head on her thigh and looked at her soulfully. "I'm sorry, Scully."

She stroked his hair. "It's not your fault, Mulder." His eyes closed in content and a smile played across his lips, causing Scully to snatch her hand away. "Stop doing that," she said.

"Woof," he replied.

A glowing green sphere descended from the sky. It came to rest a few feet in front off the two agents, and with a swirl, Jessica reappeared. "Hello," she said with a smile.

"Jessica," Scully nearly growled, "I've gone along with this craziness. Now, how do I get home?"

The fairy-princess sighed. "Click your heels together three time and say 'There's no place like home.' Some things one simply cannot improve on."

"That's it?" Scully asked. She pointed to her feet. "These are not Ruby Slippers."

"Do you have any idea what those Ruby Slippers are worth? And considering what happens to *your* shoes, do you honestly think I'd let you wear them?" Jessica replied.

Scully rolled her eyes in Mulder's direction, watching as he choked on his laughter. "I give up," she sighed and clicked her heels together. CLICK! "There's no place like home." CLICK! "There's no place like home." CLICK! "There's no place..."

"Hey, Scully," Mulder said as he shook her shoulder. "Wake up. We're here."

She blinked awake, not at all surprised to find herself back in her gray suit in the rental car with her partner. "Where?" she asked.

"The airport. You were really out of it."

"The last thing I remember is that it started raining," she replied.

"Well, it stopped, luckily," he said. "Come on." They got out and grabbed their luggage from the trunk. "Hey, Scully, look." He pointed off to the east. A huge rainbow stretched across the sky. "Do you suppose we'll be flying over it on the way home?" he asked with a grin as he stared at the illusion.

Scully shifted her luggage around, then reached up and grabbed Mulder's tie. "Heel, Mulder," she commanded as she pulled him off toward the terminal.

"Woof," he answered. She paused and looked at him with the strangest expression before tugging him inside. Sometimes he thought he'd never figure her out.

Neither agent noticed the invisible girl sitting on the roof of their car. She laughed in delight. Jessica grew thoughtfully silent as the agents entered the building, then she began to sing.

"Somewhere, beyond the X-files, and the F-B-I, there's a place I can go to where only angels fly..."

The music faded away, and so did she.


Am I getting too predictable? Boring? Should I let Jessica rest in peace? (snerk!)

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