Title: One Reason to Live
Summary: Scully has a nightmare and thinks about Mulder.
Author's notes: Thank you E.G.
Oh my God! I can see it! It's hovering over me, bathing the ground in light. Suddenly a laser zaps out. It singes my hair, barely missing my head.
I begin running. Running, running through the dense woods. My only thought is that I have to get away so that I can continue searching for Mulder.
Mulder. Mulder! Still running, I shout back at the ship, foolishly. I know no one will hear me.
Mulder! I'll come back for you and get you out of there!
Suddenly, I sit bolt upright in bed. The sheets are tangled around my legs, and I'm drenched in perspiration, as though I've been running.
Wait. I was running. At least in my dream I was. Nightmare, I should say.
I allow my head to fall into my hands for a moment as I try to banish the unwanted memory of the dream from my head.
I get up after a moment, and make my way to the window. As my eyes drift upward to the stars, my hand unconsciously rests on my now-flat stomach. I imagine how I'll look in 5 months when my stomach will no longer be flat, but round.
And I think about how my heart will feel if Mulder will never be able to see that.
I feel a single tear slip down my cheek, and berate myself silently. I was never so pessimistic as I am now, except for maybe when I had cancer, and was on the brink of death. The only reason I held onto life then was Mulder.
I held on then, can I hold on now? I want so much to believe as strongly as Mulder does, but I don't know if I can.
He thinks I'm so strong, but I'm only strong because of him. It's hard to admit that to myself. We complement each other. Like a symbiotic organism.
For now though, I can only raise my eyes to the heavens and hope, and even pray, that those same skies will give me Mulder back.
Because if not, I'll only have one thing to live for. My child. And even then I don't know if that's enough. How can you live without something that's practically a part of you?