Title: Monsters in the Closet
Author: Jamalame
Author's page: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/145335/
Written: 11/10/2002
Category: X-Files
Genre: MSR/Humor
Words: 2600
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: You know the drill.(not my Characters, yada yada yada)
Spoilers: There are references to the following: Bad Blood, FTF, Quagmire

Summary: Mulder and Scully find out there are monsters in the closet and are sent to Omaha, Nebraska.

Note: My sister (she's 11) wrote the first part of this story; we came up with the *main* idea together and took turns writing chapters.you can tell by the different writing :) She doesn't really know the characters very well, so the whole story is pretty much out-of-character (but funny) since she started it.

"Scully!" Mulder screamed. "We have a new case in the Midwest. Have you ever heard of Nebraska? We'll we're going," Mulder said excitedly.

"Mulder, you need to drop the cocaine," Scully said calmly. "Why do we have to go there anyway?"

"Because," Mulder said, "there are monsters in the closet."

"That's nice, Mulder. Nice."

"No, I'm serious. In the past four weeks, four cities: Ogalalla, Kearney, York, and Omaha have been to find, well, a morning surprise in their closets. Like a big, hairy, slimy monster," Mulder said excitedly.

"Sounds good. So, where we headed to?" Scully asked.

"The big 'O' otherwise known as Omaha. The attacks have been moving east," Mulder said with a tad of laughter in his voice.

"How did the attacks happen?"

"Well, people go in their closets to get their clothes for the day and it turns out that a big monster is in there waiting to attack them and beat them up. Luckily no one has been killed; only to be found in critical condition. One of them is a child and the rest of them adults in their 20's and 30's."

"I see," Scully said, "I'll pack tonight and we can fly out tomorrow morning. I'll be over at your place at six in the morning. Does that sound good?"

"Six?" Mulder said, shocked.

"Yes, see you then."

Mulder walked over to his alarm clock when he got home. He pressed his alarm clock buttons for 5:55. Heck, he only had to be at the airport at 7:00.

"Mulder?" Scully asked Mulder over his bed.

"What? Do we have to go?"

"I guess you could say that," Scully said.

After Mulder got dressed and ready, the agents hopped into Scully's car. As they arrived, the boarding for their flight was called.

"See, I told you I'm good with time," Mulder said, grinning.

"Sure, Mulder. Sure," Scully said sarcastically.

As they arrived in Omaha, they were greeted by two county sheriffs.

"Welcome to Omaha," one of them said. "Y'all must be tired from your trip."

"No, actually I'm tired 'cause I didn't get enough sleep last night," Mulder said. Scully gave Mulder a playful slap and said to the sheriffs, "Hello. I'm Dana Scully and this is Fox Mulder. We are partners in the FBI."

"Hey. We are Jon Rogers and Wendell Hartwell. We both come from a big line of sheriff family members," the first one said. Scully looks goo-goo eyes at Sheriff Hartwell.

*Oh, boy,* Mulder thought, *I'm working with a teenager.*

"It's going to be a pleasure working with you," Scully said, looking at Sheriff Hartwell.

"Likewise," he replied. Mulder bent down to Scully and whispered, "He needs braces if you ask me."

After the agents checked into their hotel rooms, they got to bed right away so they could get a good night's rest. In the morning, the agents quickly got ready and met in the lobby with Sheriff Hartwell and Rogers.

"Morning, Y'all," Sheriff Hartwell greeted them. "We're all going for a drive around the city. How about Scully and me in my car and Mulder and Rogers in Rogers' car."

"Sounds perfect," Scully said, amazed.

"Sounds good to me. I have always wanted to visit Omaha," Mulder said with a yawn, "Let's go. We have to identify what type of monster we have." *What a bore,* Mulder thought. *This guy deserves to be eaten by the monster*. Mulder yawned a huge yawn. Scully reached and slapped Mulder as hard as she could.

"Forgive him," she said annoyed.

"Let's go. I can't wait to start," said Hartwell politely.

"Me neither," she said looking right at him.

"Oh, boy," Mulder said to Rogers.

"I know what you mean," he replied, "She's a total babe. I wish I were him right now."

Mulder rolled his eyes. *Yeah, sure. Since when is Scully a babe?*

As Hartwell started the car, Scully sat down in the passenger's seat.

*Yuck!* Scully thought. * This guy is a pig!*

Scully looked around in the car.

There were pizza boxes, orange peels, coffee paper cups, styrofoam cups and other assorted trash. Scully also saw a picture of a beautiful woman.

*Wonder who that is. Oh, well. I won't ask him*

"So, who's the girl in the picture?" Scully asked.

"Oh, that's Donna. She's my ex-girlfriend. She cheated on me with her husband. Ever since, I've been down-right scared of women," he said sadly.

"I see. Right now I'm looking for a dreamy man."

Scully turned away from him and mumbled, "Damn".

"Scully, if you were thinking about hitting on me, then I want you to think again. I already have a plan to move in on a lady that works at the office," he said using a tone of excitement.

"I wasn't planning on it," she said with disappointment.

"Let's start," he said cheerfully.

"Oh, all right. If we must."

They went on the "tour" but Scully didn't pay much attention. She was heart broken. But she also wondered what Mulder was doing.

"Sooooooo," Mulder said as he and Rogers walked up to a house with a police line across it. They grabbed their guns and walked in prepared.

"Nice place," Mulder said sarcastically.

Just then, Scully and Hartwell arrived.

"Mulder, are you there?" Scully yelled loudly.

"Hey, Scully!" he yelled back. "Be careful or you're monster meat!"

Scully walked up the stairs and left Hartwell behind. Screw him, she thought. "Mulder?"

She opened a door expecting to find Mulder. Instead, the monster found her. "AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!" she screamed. It dug it's fangs into her stomach.

Scully opened her eyes. She was in a hospital room. Mulder, Hartwell, and Rogers walked in at the same time.

"Hey, Scully. You know that list of ages of how old the victims were? Well, I can honestly say that you are the maximum age," Mulder said happily.

*First the monster, now this,* she thought. Mulder walked over to her and she sat up and hugged Mulder. Hartwell opened his arms for a hug. Scully rolled her eyes, laid back down, and fell asleep.


I know. That was awful. My chapter's better :) I'll type it up tomorrow.

Chapter 2: Back in Omaha Here's my part:


It was two weeks after Mulder and Scully had returned from Omaha for their unusual monster case. Mulder was sitting, working at his desk before Scully got to the X-files office, as usual. Mulder had another case cooked up from another Midwestern town. Actually, it was the same town. After Scully had gotten out of the hospital, he really didn't want to lay any major cases on her. Two weeks was long enough, he figured.

Scully walked in and saw Mulder reading something. Rather suspiciously she asked, "Mulder, we're not going on any trips similar to the last one anytime soon, are we?"

"W-what would make you say that," he stuttered.

"You've got to be kidding me," Scully groaned childishly.

"Nope, I'm sure not! I live for these wild goose chases we go on!" Mulder said with a smirk. "Well, here are the details: There have been some major investigations into these cases."

"Then there's no reason for us to be there," Scully interrupted.

"Hey now, Scully. I think we can bring a murderer to justice here. I have a theory."

"Uh oh," she mumbled.

"What was that?" he asked.

"Nothing," Scully replied sweetly. "So what's your brilliant theory?"

"Well, I really don't think these are monsters at all. Nobody's actually seen a monster; they just felt their brutal attack."

"So, you're saying that someone grew fangs and vicious claws?"

"Sounds like an X-file if you ask me, Scully," he said with a grin that made Scully weak in the knees.

"Okay, Mulder. I'll go. Do you have the tickets yet?"

"Of course! You never say 'no', Scully. You're too easy!"

This really made Scully angry, but she only reacted with the "look" and a little smack on Mulder's cheek, which he didn't mind at all.

"Oh, it's so beautiful!" Scully said upon their arrival to Omaha.

"Um, Scully, we were just here," Mulder said unimpressed with the landscape they had just become familiarized with.

"Well, I really have learned to appreciate things since I have been in a lot worse of situations," she stated, very unlike herself.

"Oookay," Mulder said, a little confused with Scully's new attitude towards life.

"C'mon, Mulder, you gotta smell the roses! Enjoy life! Really get the most out of it! Carpe diem! Hakuna Matata!" Scully said with a little too much zeal. This made Mulder really think. Even though Scully was acting really weird today, she had a point.

Mulder and Scully were at the car rental place near their motel building they were about to head to. The woman behind the desk was overly friendly, like most Omahans, as they had previously discovered.

"So, are you two on your honeymoon? You two are soo cute! I can tell you're in love by the way you're looking at each other! Oh, to be in love!" the woman cooed.

Mulder and Scully both looked very embarrassed and each blushed as much as the other. All Mulder said was "Yeah" to avoid further embarrassment. The lady handed them their receipt and smiled.

"Have a great night," she said with a wink.

Neither of the agents looked back in order to escape more conversing with the friendly woman.

As Mulder was helping Scully carry her bags to her hotel room, he had a strange look in his eyes. Scully couldn't figure it out.

"Scully, after what you said on the plane and what that lady at the car rental place assumed, I think."

Just then, something from the darkness grabbed Mulder and ran off. Scully snatched her gun and took off in the direction of Mulder and the figure. She couldn't see where she was going.

"Mulder!" she called.

No response.

As Scully ran back into her hotel room in order to find a flashlight, she heard some rustling going on in the bushes.

"Federal agent. I'm armed." She pointed her gun into the darkness. She stepped tentatively towards the bush. All of a sudden, a little dog jumped out that looked an awful lot like her dead doggie, Quee Queg.

"Quee Queg?" she asked with tears in her eyes.

"Arf," Quee Queg said, jumping into her arms.

"Oh, I thought you were dead! I missed you so much!" Then Scully remembered that no one dies on The X-files.

"Stay here, Quee Queg. I'm gonna go find Mulder," she said with hope.

She hurried into the woods with her flashlight, calling Mulder's name several times.

"Hey there, baby," said an oh-too-familiar voice.

"Who's there?" asked a jumpy Scully.

"Why, it's me."

"Oh, that answers my question," Scully retorted sarcastically.

"It's Sheriff Rogers! Can't you see me?"

"Um, actually, you have a big, ugly bear head covering your face. WHERE'S MULDER?" she demanded, grabbing the collar of his flannel shirt.

"Uh, he went that a-way," he said, pointing in the direction of the hotel.

"Thank you, you bastard." With that, Scully cuffed him around a tree, and sprinted back through the woods towards the hotel.

"Don't I even get a kiss?" Rogers yelled in the distance. Scully pretended not to hear him.

"What about me?" someone said behind Scully. She turned around as fast as she could. Just then, the whip around that she so gracefully pulled off, knocked the tall figure out.

"Oh, Mulder!"

Mulder lay in a hospital bed, still unconscious; yes, it was one hell of a whip on Scully's part.

"Mulder? Are you awake?"


"Yeah, it's me. Did you know that Sheriff Rogers was the 'monster'? Mulder, he had some silly bear costume to scare people with! I can't believe it worked! I cuffed him just before I knocked you out. Sorry, by the way"

"It's okay, Scully. It actually felt kinda good," he said with that little boy smile.

"Oh, Mulder."

He stroked her face with his fingertips.

Scully sighed deeply and spoke: "About what you were going to say earlier.I love you, too!"

"Um, actually, I wasn't going to say that."


"HA!! I got you ! I really love you, Scully, so can I have a kiss?"

"Uh, no. I'm not ready yet."


"I had you big time. You definitely had a face of panic!"

Scully bent over and kissed Mulder on the nose. Mulder leaned forward just enough to catch her lips on his. As the agents were kissing, the nurse walked in.

"EH EHM. Excuse me.you're free to go, Mr. Mulder.it was nice nursing you back to health.have a nice stay in Omaha.would you take your lips off her?!"

Mulder broke the kiss and smiled at Scully, then the nurse.

"I'm sorry. Thank you for everything. What was your name again?"

"Bertha. Have a good one."

Scully got up to leave and said, "Mulder, I'll meet you back at the hotel. We should finish our case of the horny beast."

The end?????

Let me know if I should continue.:) Thanks for any feedback.
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