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Title: Fluffy Green Aliens With White Spots Summary: Aliens have invaded the planet and it's up to Mulder and Scully to find out why. This story is set far, far into the future and in a different reality and maybe in a different universe (that's why Mulder and Scully are so out of character, please don't flame me about this - You have been warned!) Its sort of a M&S romance, NC-17 I think and very weird! (I think I wrote this in a moment of temporary insanity) This is my first attempt at fanfic and I'd love to hear from people with constructive comments/criticism. This is dedicated to anyone who is still reading and likes it after they have finished! FBI Headquarters Mulder and Scully's Office 3rd June 1996 10.31 "Hey Scully guess what?" asked Mulder jumping about like a little kid with a new toy. "What Mulder?" she asked exasperated. "Aliens have been seen bungie-jumping off the Eiffel tower?" "Hey come on, my theories aren't that stupid!" he said looking hurt. "Guess again." "Okay, let me think . . .Oh, I know pink Aliens have been spotted working in brothels pleasuring customers and one has even been seen hanging round Skinner's office." She looked over at Mulder to see his reaction and found him looking at her with surprise. <Great Dana, now he thinks you're crazy> He finally got over his surprise and replied, "Oh my God Scully. How did you know? Although they are actually green, fluffy and have white spots." "Oh, right, sorry," she said sarcastically. "Oh that's okay." He paused for a second. "I think its a Government cover-up." "Isn't everything?" she asked. "Yeah, but I think this one is really big!" he replied. "Go on then, what have our wonderfully happy on the outside evil on the inside Government done now?" she asked. "Well it seems that the Government have been in contact with Aliens for up to three months. Apparently they were reported seen in Sandwich, Massachusetts about four months ago," he told her. "Why there I wonder?" She mused. "Maybe they were hungry when they were looking for a place to land," he said. "Ha, ha, Mulder. Your humor is just too good," she said. "Yes I've always thought so as well," he replied. "Anyway the Military went out there and cleared out all of the Aliens and apparently members of our Government have been encouraging the Aliens to carry on performing certain sexual acts." "Why would they do that, Mulder?" "Well look at Cancerman, he has no life. I mean he sits in front of the TV all night, he has no family, no girlfriend. I bet he even watches pornography videos because he can't get laid." "Sounds like someone I know," muttered Scully under her breath. "I think our Government is using them as sex slaves. Its really disgraceful you know Scully. The American public have a right to know about this." "Yeah, why do we have to miss out on all the fun?" complained Scully. "it's not they are the only ones without lives! And anyway the batteries in my vibrator are running down. I want some of that Alien hunkiness!" "Yeah me to!" exclaimed Mulder excitedly. "Well, I mean that I want to uncover the truth," he corrected. "Well where do we start looking then?" she asked him. "Well there are rumors that one has been seen in Skinner's office," he replied. "Let's go then!" she said walking out of the office. FBI Headquarters Assistant Director Skinner was in heaven. He was sat behind his desk in his office, his every desire being catered for by a fluffy green alien with white spots. Skinner was going to scream from the excitement as he felt his orgasm begin to grow making him groan in pleasure. Suddenly there was a knock at the door. "Shit," said Skinner as he removed the Alien from his lap and shoved it under his desk as he zipped up his fly. "Come in!" he said in his most pissed off voice. The door opened to revel his favorite pair of Agents. "Sir, it has come to our attention that you may be harboring extraterrestrials in this office," said Mulder. Skinner sat down on his chair and pulled it underneath his desk. He felt the Alien start to rub against his leg. He cleared his throat. "Erm, what gave you that idea?" he asked as he felt the Alien begin to climb up his leg and onto his knee. "I have been informed by one of my sources that the Government is covering up an invasion of fluffy green aliens with white spots." "Oh really?" Skinners voice rose an octave as the Alien started to unzip his fly. "What was that?" asked Mulder. "Did you hear that Scully?" Mulder glanced at his boss who had gone bright red and looked like a 14-year-old who had been caught making out behind the bike shed. "H-h-hear what?" Skinner said in a strangled voice. "That banging. It was coming from over there." Mulder said gesturing towards one of the doors in Skinner's office. He got up and walked over to the door and twisted the knob, slowly opening the door. Suddenly 50 green balls of fluff launched themselves towards Mulder. Mulder fell over and started screaming. "Scully, help me!!" he shouted desperately. "Ahhh!!! Ummm!!! Oooo!!!" His pleas for help quickly turned into sighs of pleasure. "Wow, they sure reproduce quickly! I only had two this morning!" said Skinner in amazement. "Sir, what is going on!!??" asked Scully. "Well I was given these two fluffy green aliens with white spots by the Director for my birthday. he said that they had done wonders for his sex life. I think you and Agent Mulder should take two." "Sir!!" exclaimed Scully. "I meant to investigate Agent Scully!" said Skinner getting slightly annoyed. "Um, yeah, thanks we might just do that," said Mulder managing to get up off the floor, a silly grin was plastered over his face and his hair stuck out in thousands of different directions. "Come on Scully, we've gotta go." "Where are we going Mulder?" she asked. "To investigate of course!" he said as he started to drag her out of Skinner's office. He paused at the doorway and turned back to Skinner. "Have a good birthday Sir." FBI Headquarters Mulder walked down the corridor to his basement office. He looked down as he felt something attach itself to his leg. "Ooo . . . look, a fluffy green alien with white spots!" The green fluffy alien began to climb its way up Mulder's leg. When it reached the top it stopped and started to stroke Mulder's thigh. "Oooo . . . Ahhh . . . Ummm . . .Yessss . . ." Mulder was starting to get incredibly turned on when he heard the door of his office open and his partner walk out. "Mulder, are you okay? I heard some strange noises coming from out here!" "I'm fine Scully," he said as he regretfully untangled the alien from his leg and picked up the file he had dropped during his excitement. He walked into his office and tried to find his desk among all the paper stacked up. He gave up after a few minutes. "I'm sure it was there yesterday! Perhaps its a Government conspiracy. I bet they are educating the fluffy green aliens using my video collection. It would certainly explain the incident in Skinner's office last week." Mulder sat down on the floor as his chair seemed to have gone missing as well. He opened the file and started to read. "Mulder, what's that?" Scully asked starting to feel like he wasn't telling her everything. "Its called a file, it has lots of notes and information about a case," he replied wondering how she managed to become a doctor if she didn't know what a file was. "Yes but which case?!" "Oh, you're really going to like this one Scully! It has everything you could want . . . and also Sex, Drugs and Rock 'n' Roll!" "Mulder, are you implying that I don't want sex?" "Erm . . . well, I wouldn't know really," he said feeling slightly uncomfortable. "Do you?" "Yes please!" she said as she jumped on top of him. Mulder and Scully were to busy trying to get each other's clothes off to notice that Walter Skinner had just walked into their office. "EhhhHmmmHmmm . . !" He cleared his throat loudly in an attempt to get their attention. It didn't work. He decided to try a different angle. No. It still didn't work from this side of the room either. "Mulder, look, an alien is acting out a scene from that new video you bought!" Skinner shouted. This definitely caught Mulder's attention and he momentarily ceased trying to undo Scully's bra. He looked round the room and saw nothing until his gaze came to rest on Skinner. "Hey Scully, do you reckon that's the alien or Skinner?" "Agent Mulder, Agent Scully, this kind of behavior is way out of line!" "Arhh, do we have to wait in line? I get so board queuing up," said Mulder. "There could be young children watching you know! I bet it's already bad enough with all the aliens!" said Skinner. "Now get tidied up! I want to be able to see the floor of this office, if there I one." Skinner started to walk out of the office. "Er, Sir?" asked Mulder hesitantly getting up. "Yes Agent Mulder?" "How did you know that I have just bought a new video?" "Erm . . .well . . . I saw it in your desk drawer." "What?! You've seen my desk??!!" "Well, I'm not really at liberty to talk about that, Agent Mulder." "Why not? Its him isn't? That black lunged son of a bitch has kidnapped my desk! He's going to pay for this one!" "Calm down Agent Mulder and put your mind to more constructive things." "Yes Sir, whatever you say Sir." Mulder hung his head and walked back over to where Scully was still lying on the floor. "What are you going to do Mulder?" she asked softly. "I'm going to put my mind to more constructive things like Skinner told me to," he said with a gleam in eye. "Now where were we before we got interrupted?" "About here I think," she said as she pulled him down on top of her. The End (Unless anyone likes it??!!??) |