Title: The Blair Witch Project: Mulder's on the Case
Author's page: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4868/
Summary: The man just can't help himself. Major spoilers for TBWP.
Chapter 1*: The Blair Witch Project: Mulder's on the CaseFBI HEADQUARTERS
"...and the students were never seen or heard from again..."
Scully slowly rubbed at the back of her neck. "Mulder..."
"Until..." he placed a thick folder down on his already cluttered desk. "Until Heather's backpack containing her diary, their audio tapes, and film reels was discovered buried under the foundation of a hundred year old cabin. I received a video of their last days an hour ago." He held up the tape in triumph before placing it in the VCR.
"Oh, let me guess, we get to see the witch in full technocolor? Did they ever get her broom to the wizard?"
"Just watch it, Scully. Think of it as an interesting break from the monotony of an otherwise unproductive day at the Bureau."
"How many times have I heard that? Maybe I should just go ahead and pack my flannel shirts and Coleman gear now."
Agent Mulder switched off the lights in the already dimly lit office and hit play. He sat down beside his best friend and harshest critic and held out his hand filled with sunflower seeds. "Want some?"
Scully didn't bother to look down at his outstretched hand; she already knew what she would find. "No thanks, Mulder. Got any skittles?"
Dana Scully turned her attention to the screen just in time to see:
"Oh, brother. Who put this together, Byers or Frohike?"
About an Hour and a Half Later
"That's it? Where's the fuzzy, distorted image of the all powerful witch?"
"I told you Scully, this is the real thing."
"Give me that tape. I'm going to look into this some myself."
"I'll arrange a car."
"Down, Mulder. Down."
30 Minutes Later
Scully walked hurriedly through the door with one of "those" looks on her face.
Mulder stood up jingling the car keys. "Shall we go?"
"No. It's a hoax. Not even a hoax. It's a movie. It's fiction."
Holding up a finger he corrected, "But fiction based on reality."
"No, complete fiction. No Blair Witch. No student filmmakers. No footage found mysteriously by anthropologists with no connection to the case.
"I've seen the interviews. I've heard the townspeople denounce even a hint of a legend concerning the Blair Witch. Josh has a role in an upcoming Robert DeNiro film -- teeth intact.
"The only mystery here is how they came up with the greatest multimedia event in history."
She couldn't believe it; he was putting on his coat. "I just purchased a commemorative stick figure pin online just 10 minutes ago!"
"I never said I didn't appreciate their marketing savvy." He passed by her on his way to the door. "Art imitates life, Scully. Grover's Mill in '38. Roswell in '47_"
"Burkittsville in '94? You're not trying to tell me this has to do with aliens? Mulder!" She turned quickly and followed him out the door and down the hall.
"Here we go again!"
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