Title: Aloha Puttytat
Author: DFantum
Written: October 25, 2001
Rating: 17+
Classification: MSR, H
Keywords: MSR, Humor (I hope)
Spoilers: Just general knowledge
Archive: anywhere, just keep the name attached

Summary: Mulder, Scully and a wild Halloween party.

Author's notes: Uh. The characters ALL belong to... sigh.... Chris Carter, 1013, and Fox. I'd like to think they were mine, but alas, I'm not connected in the business. Fox Mulder and Dana Scully also rightly belong to David and Gillian. (AND each other) ;-)

Feedback is always welcomed with Fox Food, and Jello Shots. (props to me best bud, Cadey) Flames will be used to light firecrackers on July Fourth

This was in answer to the True Blue challenge at Whispers of X. The following items were needed: Lei Ukelele FBI Party that characters attend. Roast Pig with an apple in its mouth Masks, all char. must wear them. Spiked Punch One attendee must have a rubber blow up doll as a date.


You are cordially invited to attend the annual FBI Halloween Bash/Retirement party for Deputy Director Don Malui
Saturday, October 27 7:00 pm- ?
Costumes welcomed, Masks required. RSVP.

"Hey Scully, you going to the party honoring the Honululu Bureau's Deputy Director's retirement? You know it's going to be a real blast." Mulder glanced at his partner, who was engrossed in a file they were checking out.

"Well, I guess so. I mean DD Malui did help us out on that case in California. Without his help, we'd never caught that serial rapist. Imagine, a guy who singled out his victims by choosing only girls who were excellent surfers." Scully began gathering her things, as the time was getting quite late. "You are going too, aren't you, Mulder?"

Mulder shrugged his shoulders and shook his head. "Well, I would, but... no date. You?"

"Uh, no, I don't have a date, but I'm still going. Mulder, go with me?" Scully walked over to him, and placed a hand on his arm and rubbed softly. When that had no effect, she batted her eyes, and licked her lips.

"Well, since you put it that way. Yeah, I'll go. But you gotta promise me that I won't have to limbo." He stood up, and they both walked out the door. As she closed the door behind them, she shot back to him.

"Mulder, the limbo's Carribean, not Hawaiian. But, I promise, I won't make you Hula Dance. Not in public, anyway."


The party was well under way when Mulder and Scully arrived. Mulder was wearing his grey suit, and much to Scully's chagrin, a garish Hawaiian print shirt underneath the jacket. Scully was wearing a light tropical print dress. In accordance with the invitation, each person in attendance was also wearing a mask. Some wore full face masks, since it was a Halloween party. Most however, wore feathered masks similar to those worn during Mardi Gras celebrations.

"Well, Aloha Agents Mulder and Scully." Kimberly, Skinner's secretary greeted them each with a flower lei, and kissed Mulder on the cheek. Scully giggled, as she saw Mulder wipe his face off.

"What's the matter, Mulder?"

"Ecch, too much lipstick. Felt like running a candle across my face. Now you, on the other hand, wear just the right amount." He winked at her, as they strolled among the dancing crowd. "You care to dance, Agent Scully?"

She held her hand out to him, and slid into his arms. "Okay, but no Hula dancing."

"Aww, Scully, I would love to know what kind of story YOUR body would tell." They swayed together to the hauntingly beautiful music played by the musicians. Mulder pulled her to his chest, and tipped her face towards his. "You know, Scully. I always wondered what dancing to Ukelele music with you would be like. All we need now is Don Ho singing." Their lips met briefly as if drawn together by the music. As they separated, they each sighed happily.

"Mulder, as much as I like kissing you, next time, I'm leaving out the feathers." She picked something from her mouth and flicked it away.

"Sorry, Scully. But can't say it wasn't interesting. Kinda like kissing my very own Tweety Bird." He pointed to the yellow feathered mask she wore and grinned.

Scully laughed and patted his chest lightly. "Does that make you my vewy own Putty Tat, Mulder?"

"Scully, you can call me whatever you like. Come on, I think dinner just arrived." There was a noise at the back of the room, and all eyes turned to see six men dressed in traditional Hawaiian luau attire, hoisting a huge roast pig with an apple in its mouth on their shoulders. The Ukelele player announced in both Polynesian and English that the feast was to begin.

"Mulder, I am not eating that." Scully's eyes went wide as she watched the procession pass them. The pig was placed on the huge banquet table.

"Okay, Scully. But I think it's only for show. You know, realism. Besides, I hear that the ribs are to die for." They both flashed back to the case with the Church of the Red Museum, and Mulder wiping barbecue sauce from her face.

"Ribs, huh? Will you wipe my cheek off, Mulder?" She nudged him seductively as they walked to the table.


Mulder patted his stomach and reared back in his chair. "Whoo, I am stuffed. Scully, I don't know about you, but I ate too much."

She shook her head in amusement and laughed. "I should think you were, Mulder. I told you to not go back for thirds on those ribs. Should have stuck with the poi." She leaned over and wiped a speck of sauce from his mouth with her thumb. As she began to pull back, he caught her hand and licked the sauce off.

"Mmmm, Scully, delicious." He kissed her hand and let it go. "Thanks for returning the favor. Now, should I get us some bubbly?" She nodded, and he headed off to find some champagne.


Mulder walked up to the table, and asked the attendant for two glasses of Dom Perignon. A man backed into him and patted him on the back. Hey, Spookster. I see you and Scully are a thing. Want to really get to her tonight?" He handed him a cup of punch. "Have some alien punch. Good stuff, Man."

Mulder looked at him pointedly. "So, what's in it, Lattimore?"

"Oh not much, tropical punch, ginger ale, coconut rum, and a bottle of vodka for good measure." He wiggled his eyebrows and swigged a glass. "Ahh, tha' hit the... hiccup... spot. Sure ya don' want none?" His speech was already slurring.

Mulder shook his head. "Uh, no. Thanks, but I gotta drive. Maybe next time." He thanked the waiter for the champagne, and muttered under his breath. "Sheesh."

He handed Scully a glass and sat down close to her. "To us, Scully."

Scully smiled at him and spoke softly. "To us and finding the truth, Mulder."

They both smiled, and clinked their glasses together gently. As they sipped, each could feel the desire for the other. "Scully, it's getting kinda raunchy in here. Would you like to go somewhere else?"

She nodded. "Yeah, you won't believe who hit on me, Mulder. AD Skinner. And he was wearing a Dracula mask, too."

"Ah, I always knew there was something eerie about him. Come on, let's go." They walked hand in hand towards the door.

"Hey, Spooky, you an' the missus ain't cuttin' out yet, are ya?" A very drunken Tom Colton danced over to them, blocking the exit. "Whatsamatter, got to catch an alien?"

Mulder shook his head and pointed to Colton's*date*, a rubber blow-up doll. "No, no aliens tonight But, there's always a blank X File for you and your biodegradable woman there, Tom. Oh, be careful and don't drink TOO much punch. It might melt your friend." He laughed as the look on Colton's face turned to drunken stupor.

"Okay, suit yourself, party poopers. Come on, Juliette, le's boogie." He hugged his rubberized friend tightly and waltzed off.

Scully slapped him playfully on the shoulder. "Mul-der. That wasn't nice. I mean, they might be very happy together. Although. I can't imagine what their kids would look like." She turned to see Colton dancing around the room with his blow up doll, laughing rather loudly.


"So, where too, Miss Scully?" Mulder opened her door, then crossed around to the driver's side and got in.

"I guess my place. I mean, you are coming up with me aren't you, Mulder?" She looked over at him shyly.

Mulder shrugged his shoulders. "If it's okay with you." Scully nodded and took his hand in hers, entwining their fingers. They drove on towards her apartment, hands still clasped together.

Mulder pulled the car up to Scully's building and parked. "Scully, I just want you to know... I love you. I have for a long time, and will for the rest of my life. I meant what I said in my hallway. You do make me a whole person." He picked up her hand and kissed it very gently.

Scully sighed happily as Mulder's caress became more heated. "Oh, Mulder. I've loved you from the moment I first met you. You were never Spooky to me. I found you fascinating, brilliant, and very sexy. " She slipped her seatbelt off, and climbed into his lap. "So, how much alien punch DID you have tonight?" She began to run her lips across his jawbone, licking and nipping gently.

"None. I don't want anything clouding this moment between us, Scully." he nuzzled her cheek, as she nipped and suckled his neck, clearly marking him as her property. He moaned loudly as she sucked harder, leaving a distinct mark there. "Ah, leaving your calling card, I see Miss Scully."

"Mmmmm, of course, Agent Mulder. A girl's got to protect what's hers." She unbuttoned his shirt, kissing his chest as she went down. "You know, Mulder, of all the things I have ever done or seen, I have yet to experience sex in a car."

Mulder began to slip Scully's dress up her waist, caressing her silky thighs. "Well, Scully. Can't have that now can we? Of course, next time, we'll have to join the Mile-High Club." He ran a hand up underneath her panties, cupping her lightly. He moved a finger to trace her outer lips gently, then to the inner folds which held her innermost secrets.

"Ohhhh, FOX!" Scully moaned as she felt the convulsion begin in her chest and move southward. Her hands began to rub his now hardened crotch, of their own accord. She rode out the intense climax, quivering in his arms. "muh ** Mulder...... that was amazing." Breathlessly, she unzipped his dress slacks and slipped her hand inside, grasping his hard member. "Mulder! That's some limbo stick you have there."

Mulder growled playfully as she began to run her hand up and down his shaft. "Ohh, Scully, how low can you go?"

"Oh, I can go prettly low, Mulder. Want me to show you?" She slipped off his lap and back into her own seat. Kneeling over him, she took him into her mouth. Slowly, she ran her tongue over the tip of him, licking a drop of precum off.

She engulfed him whole, licking and scraping her teeth lightly over his tender skin. She felt him slip a hand into her hair, not pushing, just assuring her that he was pleased by her actions. She began to bob her head, sucking harder on him until he pulled her back. "No, Scully. First time I come, I want it to be inside you. As much as I love how you do that to me, I have to be inside you. "

She straddled his lap and kissed him passionately. "Oh Mulder. I've waited for this moment my whole life it seems." She gripped him softly, and guided him to her soaking wet core.

Mulder thrust his hips and entered her, groaning in sheer delight at the tighness he found there. He gripped her hips, and moved her on him in a steady rythm she soon picked up on. As she began her own thrusting motion, he moved his hands to the back of her dress, unzipping it. Gingerly, he slipped his hands inside and grasped her breasts, running his fingertips across her hardened nipples.

Scully began to thrust faster as she felt the sensation begin once again, signalling her climax. She leaned into Mulder and gripped the headrest on the seat behind him and wildly moved her hips in a circular motion. "Oh Goooooddd. Mullderrr."

Mulder leaned his head in, and clutched one of her nipples between his teeth, nipping at it. He too felt her climax begin and started thrusting his hips upward in time with hers. As she came, she tightened her inner muscles, causing him to come as she slowed her hips, collapsing onto his chest.

"Mulder... that was....." She panted breathlessly as she came to in his arms. "I can't believe we did this here. God." She looked up at him and smiled as she noticed the grin on his face. She slipped off his lap, feeling him fall out of her.

Mulder sighed happily as he looked down at the woman snuggled into his chest, barely aware of where she was. "Scully. I love you," he whispered as she gazed back at him. "But you're right. I can't believe we did here either. Not that I'm complaining, mind you, but I think your bed sounds pretty good right now." He tucked himself in his slacks, and zipped up. "You need some help there, Scully?"

She fell back into her seat and turned her back to him. "Yeah. Thanks, Mulder." She pulled her panties up, as he zipped her dress up for her. Both sure they were all fixed and ready to face the rest of the world without being arrested for indecent exposure, they exited the car and walked inside,clutching each other's hands.

"Mulder? Your body tells one hell of a story," she said as they got on the elevator in her building. She turned to him and winked seductively.

Mulder winked back at her and squeezed her hand. "Yeah? And you limbo with the best of them, Scully." He shot back, as the door closes, and they head to her apartment. "So... you wanna demonstrae YOUR version of the hula to me, Miss Scully?"

"Mullldeeerrrr."

El Finito
DFantum.

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