Title: Again - A Ghost Story
Summary: "We're fine." If I'd known those were going to be my last words, I should have done better.
If I'd known those were going to be my last words, I should have done better.
"Slow down, Mulder."
Well, needless to say, we weren't fine. In fact, I didn't even see that patch of ice coming up ahead, not that the pitch blackness of a country road at midnight was any big help.
I remember nothing after that. No crash, no shattering of glass, no pain. There were no tunnels either, no bright lights, no angels with harps playing "Danny Boy."
There was a sudden stop, as if reality were a big-screen TV from which the plug had been pulled. One second I'm driving, talking to Scully, and the next...nothing. Total darkness. Couldn't have seen my hands in front of my face.
Assuming I still -had- hands, of course.
I felt no pain, no fear -- didn't even have to go to the bathroom. It was, all in all, a pleasant feeling, and I wouldn't have minded staying that way, except for this slight niggle in my mind, this bothersome feeling I had, itching like a bug bite on my soul.
The feeling that there was -something- important I was forgetting, and it seemed to pull me onward, until there actually -was- a light coming into my line of vision and slowly, it enveloped me into its blue-white softness.
All concept of time and space was gone, and I didn't know when I'd arrived there, or, even -where- the hell I was. All I knew was that I was walking down a clean, white hallway, quite pleasing in its austerity and complete lack of functionality.
I'd suppose I could have literally walked alone down that hallway for eternity but after a few -- oh, I dunno, years, I finally met someone else, and that annoying little niggle, that -something- I was forgetting, sparked off again.
It was a Someone with red hair.
Who was more beautiful than eternity was long.
Immediately, I straightened my tie, or what I thought was my tie, in an unconscious mimicry of an action I'd done at some point before... before all of this.
She didn't seem to notice.
I decided to be suave. Hell, if I was where I thought I might be, I couldn't miss. "What's a nice girl like you doing in a hallway like this?" I joked. Suavely.
She blinked, grimaced, and then turned away.
Damn, I thought. I must have been sent to that -other- place. But, hey, I saw no closing times posted anywhere, and as far as I knew, I had ample opportunity to improve my technique.
I tried a different approach. "Hello?"
This got a glance, and a raised eyebrow. "Hello," she replied noncommittally, as if we were on a supermarket checkout line together, and all she wanted to do was buy her frozen peas and get the heck out of there.
But I was too busy staring at that eyebrow. The niggle jangled again, this time clanging throughout my mind. You are forgetting something, you dolt, it said. Wake up! It's here.
Apparently she was feeling it as well, staring intently at my hair and even raised a hand to try and pat down my eternal cowlick, something I suppose I'll never shake. But, she recovered quickly, and bit her lip before speaking. =
"This may seem odd..." she began.
"This may -seem- odd?" I interrupted. "You have a flair for understatement."
She ignored me. "...but I'm getting this very strange feeling when I look at you. As if..."
I nodded. "As if I'm reminding you of something important. Same here."
She shook her head. "It must be a mistake."
"Yeah," I replied, but we knew in our hearts there were no longer any mistakes to be made. =
We continued to stand, and stare, and wonder, when it hit us simultaneously, both of us babbling at once.
"Oh, my God..."
For, oh, I dunno, years, we stood gaping at one another like a pair of goldfish dumped into a sink during a water change. Safe to say, this was not what either one of us were prepared for.
But is anyone?
"I guess I should have slowed down, huh?" I asked, mournfully.
"Good heavens," said Scully, awed by the fact that we were not only deceased, but that the afterlife appeared to be a school basement with a new paint job.
She glanced at the white walls, and then back to me, as if either one of us could give her some answers, and then, did something I'd never seen her do before. At least not in the place we'd left behind. She smiled at me...
And shrugged while she was at it.
"Well, Mulder. I guess we're dead," she said, joyfully, grinning from ear to ear.
I'll admit, I didn't exactly see a cause for celebration, but our situation didn't seem to be a cause for mourning either. It just -was- and I had surprisingly little troublle accepting it.
Besides, I didn't exactly have a choice.
"Guess so," I replied, as Scully held out her hand to me, and I took it, surprised at its warmth and softness. I'd known all sorts of gross things about dead people, but she looked and felt pretty damn good for one.
Without another word, Scully tugged at my hand and led me further down the passageway, as if she knew it quite well where she was going... as if she'd been there before.
Her steps were purposeful and sharp, and her smile didn't fade once. =
I tripped along besides her, and was very surprised to see a much brighter light appear at the end of the hallway. Our pace nearly tripled when Scully saw it, as if our destination was now quite clear, at least to her.
I didn't question it, why should I have? I may have been dead, but I wasn't alone. In fact, I was with the one person I could have possibly pictured spending eternity with.
I only wish I'd told her that when we were alive.
Our walk turned into a jog, then a run, and I can't describe what it's like to be able to run, top speed for what seems like miles, without getting the slightest bit winded or breathless. It was as close to flying as you can imagine, and actually, I wonder if we didn't take off a couple of times.
Scully was laughing as we ran, her hair flying out behind her, red silk on the wind. I'm sure I didn't look half as good, damn cowlick was probably standing straight up, but it's a good thing that you really don't give a damn about that sort of crap when you are in that place.
Wherever that place was.
With a final sprint, we finally reached the end of the hall. I became hesitant to go further as the light was greater and brighter than any I'd ever known, but Scully dragged me in behind her, just as fearless and courageous dead, as she'd been in life.
I don't know what I was expecting to show itself. Perhaps a chasm or black sky, another hallway, or even nothingness, but what lie behind that light was nothing I'd even imagined it would be. =
It was lake.
A lake with a small pier, a tiny boat and the bluest, most beautiful water you'd ever seen.
"I knew it would still be here," Scully whispered, as we found ourselves at the end of the pier, with the boat sitting still in the water, as if it been waiting for our arrival.
Without hesitation, she stepped into the boat, and held her hand out to me, beseeching me to follow her into the unknown, with sweet eyes bluer than the water and a sunless, red sky shining behind her.
How could I possibly resist?
The moment I stepped in, the boat took off at a good clip toward the opposite shore, and Scully sat down, patting the seat beside her. =
Slowly, I followed suit, and she pointed to the land that was rapidly disappearing from our view.
"You were right there," she said reverently, pointing to the now tiny patch of green. "With Melissa, and... someone else." She shook her head and sighed. "But the boat was tethered to the pier, and I had to stay, no matter how wonderful I knew the journey would be."
Melissa. And me. A vague, terrible memory threatened, but, it faded quickly, like a mist rising from water.
She turned her face up toward mine, her expression thoughtful. "Even when the rope broke, and the boat began to sail, I still couldn't go."
The old shore disappeared from our view, the opposite one growing greener with each passing ripple of water. I turned my sights away from the land and concentrated on the woman besides me, still, as ever, more beautiful than eternity was long.
She smiled at me, gloriously, and that smile lit the entire lake. "I just couldn't leave without you."
Suddenly, I wondered if kisses were allowed in Heaven, but realized that it wouldn't be Heaven if they weren't. Without another thought, I took her lips beneath mine and she responded joyfully, with kisses that were as real as newborn jewels, jewels that were still hot and alive in the Earth's core, not like the cold and dead ones that scratched the surface of what we called life. =
Kisses that turned into love-making that was filled with greater life than any we could have possible known before, an eternal covenant of two souls that had never, could never, be separated, especially not by something as trivial as death.
Now, how long, you might ask, did we drift along like that, souls entwined, remembering lives past, and sailing toward lives future, together, in life and in death, always as one? =
Oh, I dunno. =
May 9, 2010
Today is my tenth birthday.
Mutti got me this diary to write everything I want to in it. It has flowers on the cover, a little lock and a key she said I can wear around my neck on a string. I can lock up all my thoughts inside and no one will know them if I don't want them to.
I had all my friends at my party, and Tobias, my best friend, gave me a ride on the back of his big bicycle, the one that has only two wheels, instead of four. He was going very fast, and I told him to slow down.
"Slow down, Tobias," I said.
"We're fine" he said. "We're fine."
And, when we reached the bottom of the hill, after such a fast ride, I suppose we were.
Happy Halloween. CiCi Lean, 1998