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Title: Valediction Summary: Mulder and Scully say goodbye after William is born. It was a gray morning, but Dana Scully hadn't expected it to be anything different. The sun could have been blazing in the sky, but in her Apartment, the air would have been as tense and solemn as they were now. She held her infant son close to her body as he whimpered and she knew instinctively that his cry meant hunger. Casting a sober glance down at the luggage that was neatly stacked near her front door, she heaved a heavy sigh and went to sit down on her couch to feed her son. The days old baby's crying ceased when his hunger began to be appeased. Dana gazed down at her child, her miracle, and smiled in spite of herself. She couldn't contain a smile when she considered her William. Yet, she could still hear the hum of the shower down the hall, and it reminded her of what had been looming over her head all night. He was leaving them. He had to. They had spent the entire night discussing it, weighing every possibility and finally coming to the grim conclusion that none of them were safe as long as he was around. Her mind dipped back to hours before, during the night, when they had sat on this same couch, pondering the situation. "It's got to be this way, Dana." He'd said softly from his place next to her. "As much as I hate it..." There was sadness in his voice. She lifted her weary eyes to his and sighed. "I know. I hate it too." She whispered as she leaned back onto the couch. She couldn't voice to him how she really felt. That the thought of him leaving again, not being able to see him every day and share the experiences of their new son, made her inwardly feel like she was falling to pieces. She couldn't make it harder for him to leave. She couldn't sway his decision. She could feel his eyes as they scanned her face, but she refused to look at him, knowing that by doing so she risked revealing the tears in her eyes. "Will you be okay?" he questioned as he stretched his arm across the couch behind her. "Of course, we'll be fine. What's important is that you're safe." "Not to me," he responded quickly. "You and William are what's important now. Nothing else matters." At that, she did look up at him momentarily. She could tell there was more he wanted to say. "What are you getting at?" His fingers ran slowly through her silky hair. "Say the word, Dana...give me any notion that this is not what you really want...and I'll stay." His hand was now resting softly on her cheek, his thumb stroking her lips ever so lightly. Her tears welled in her eyes. "Don't do that, Mulder. Don't give me that option." She sniffed as she reached to grasp his hand. "All I want is for us to stay together, to be a family, all three of us. But that is not what needs to be right now." Both of her hands enveloped his as she held it tightly in her lap. "You have to go," she cried softly. In another moment, she was in his arms, letting her tears fall on his chest and feeling his own as they spilled down his cheeks. He pressed his lips against her forehead for a few moments, and she squeezed her eyes shut, hoping those few seconds would last forever. They had remained in each other's arms till William woke just before dawn. Mulder had brought the infant to her, and the three of them sat together in the dusky light of early morning, a family, if only for a short time. Dana's thoughts were interrupted when she felt a warm hand on her shoulder. Mulder stood behind the couch, gazing happily down at the dozing baby in her arms. His hair was wet and his skin glistened slightly underneath his robe. "Boy, this kid eats a lot." He chuckled. "I don't think I've seen him do anything but eat." She tried to smile. All she could think was that this baby's father might not ever see him do anything else in the future. His hand squeezed her shoulder and he kissed the side of her head. He could tell what was going on in her mind. Twenty minutes later, Mulder had dressed, eaten, and finished his final preparations for the journey ahead of him. Dana laid William in his crib and went to make sure that everything was in order. "Do you have money?" she questioned him as she watched him sitting on the bed, tying his shoelace. "Yeah, I'll be okay. I left some for you and the baby in your dresser." "No, Mulder, you should take all you have." She crossed the room to the dresser, but he stopped her halfway. "I've got enough, Dana. I want you to have it. I want to do my part...for our son." With a swallow, she let him win, and sat down next to him on the bed. "Do you know where you're going?" "I've got a place in mind...I-I can't tell you, though." She nodded. "I know." "You know when we're meeting?" It was his turn to question her. "Have we got all the details squared away?" She nodded again. "I'll be there." Silence overcame them as they studied each other for several moments. Dana could hardly look in his eyes much longer. They were filled with such passion and longing, such overwhelming despondency. She knew her eyes must have mirrored what was portrayed in his. Gingerly, he took her hand and pressed it softly to his lips. "When this is all over, Dana..." he began, his voice trailing off as he kissed her hand again. He didn't need to finish his thought. She knew what he meant. Inside, however, she knew it might never be over. They arose and left the bedroom, and Dana retrieved a now content William from his crib and followed Mulder to the living room, stopping by the front door and the tightly packed suitcases. Mulder took the infant in his arms and placed a gentle kiss on his downy head. "You be good for your mom, William." He whispered, pausing to study the son he hardly knew before kissing him once more and handing him back to Dana. "Be careful, Mulder." Her voice was characterized by the same concern he had heard from her for years. "You too," he returned. "I'll try to contact you if I can." They stood for a moment, their eyes locked in a gaze that seemed to speak volumes with no words. He gently leaned toward her, placing a warm kiss on her lips, enjoying the sensation of their mingling breath one last time. Then, stepping back, he gathered his luggage in his arms and opened the door. "Don't forget to feed my fish," he teased, playfully winking as he slowly shut the door of her Apartment. It was seconds before she felt the pang of loneliness, the bitter heartache washing over her. Alone again, she thought as she held her baby against her shoulder, strolling slowly over to the window overlooking the street. She watched him put his luggage in the trunk of his car. She watched him unlock his door and disappear inside. She could make out his form as he started the engine, and she could clearly see his face as he looked up at her in the window. He rolled down his window, keeping his eyes locked on her. After another moment, he smiled up at her, and mouthed three words. *I love you.* And then he was gone.
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