Title: Three Men and a Baby (Alien!)
Author: David O.
Timeline: The following story is set during the time the time of the fourth season.
The story involves an adventure The Lone Gunmen would be involved in.
Rating: G
Category: X-File
Written: 9/1999

Summary: As Scully and Mulder are about to leave on a case, the gunmen approach them with a tale that's literally out of the world.

From the darkness a familiar voice is heard. The voice is getting louder and more distinguishable. It's becoming clearer what the voice is saying.

"Ok it's time to meet our new guest, if you thought the last guests were crazy, this guy beats them all. This guy believes that there is a worldwide organization in cahoots with aliens and that they are going to take over the planet and either turn us humans into slaves or kill us all. This guy also believes that the government-alien conspiracy led to the abduction of his sister and the murder of his father. Get this, this guy works for the FBI, so this is where our tax dollars go."

"So put your hands together for Special Agent Fox Mulder."

Mulder walks in to the studio set. It's the Jerry Springer show. Shouts of Jerry, Jerry, fill the studio. Mulder sits in the vacant seat.

"So Fox Mulder, interesting name, where did you get it from," asks Springer in a humorous tone.

Mulder responds quickly, "I got it from my parents."

The crowd goes berserk and Jerry acknowledges Mulder's quick-witted response.

"Ok Fox tell us about this government conspiracy with the aliens."

Mulder tells his story to a typically unappreciative audience.

"Ok Mulder we have heard your story lets here your partner's story."

"Audience I'd like a warm welcome for Special Agent Dana Scully," Jerry introduces.

Scully wearing an unusual white trouser suit and black blouse, which enhances her auburn hair, walks into the studio. Wolf whistles and cheering greet her.

Scully laps up the admiration from the audience, she smiles coyly at Jerry Springer.

"Hi Special Agent Dana Scully," Jerry said now standing in the front row.

Scully responds, "Just call me Dana."

Jerry said, "It seems to me you're the Fox in this duo."

Scully gladly accepts the compliment.

The audience is standing on their feet going wild shouting "Jerry, Jerry."

"So Dana do you believe all these things that Mulder has said. Are you as crazy as him."

"No Jerry I don't believe much of what Mulder has to say, as a fully trained scientist, a lot of the things we have seen together can be put down to rational scientific theories."

"So" asks Jerry inquisitively, "Why have you stayed with this man for so long, why haven't you put in for a transfer to another department."

"Well Jerry I have stayed with Mulder because I have been attracted to him from the moment I met him, about four years ago."

"What is so attractive about him, it can't be his psyche."

"No, but he has a really hot body."

Once again the crowd go wild. Mulder blushes.

"I'll take your word for that," Jerry said sarcastically "Have you told him about your feelings for him?" Jerry asks.

"Hmm I am not very good at expressing my feelings vocally, but over the years I have dropped enough hints about how I feel about him." "But all he thinks about is his X Files, aliens taking his sister and government conspiracies."

"I am beginning to think about looking elsewhere for a life partner," she concludes.

"So Mulder," Jerry asks, "You have heard about Dana's feelings for you how do you respond."

Mulder answers by body swerving the main thrust of the question, "There are aliens out there and Scully has seen them."

A fellow guest wearing a silver suit shouts over "Mister you are a loser."

Mulder responds by saying, "Well the aliens that I have seen don't go around with little antennae and three arms."

"Heh man, are you making fun of my costume."

"Yeah." Mulder said smugly.

The guy in the silver suit comes over to Mulder and they both begin fighting. Mulder gets hit with the third arm of the alien suit.

Dring, Dring, Dring.

Mulder wakes up and said, "Whoa, thank goodness just a dream, a bit of a nightmare."

Dring, Dring Dring, Dring.

Mulder arose from his bed and looked at his alarm clock it was 7.43am.

Mulder grabbed his dressing gown and proceeded to the door.

Dring, Dring.

Mulder shouts to the visitor on the other side of the door,"Yeah I am here, enough of the bell."

Mulder struggles to open the locks on the door, still in a daze.

Mulder finally unlocks the door and standing there is Scully.

"Morning Mulder, Aren't you ready yet, we are supposed to be at the airport at 9.00 am-"

"Sorry Scully, I was watching a baseball game last night and hmm."

"You been drinking, Mulder?"

"Yeah Scully, I had a couple. C'mon in and I'll make you a coffee," he said lazily.

"Why don't you go and get ready and I'll make the coffee," Scully said aware that Mulder had the medical condition of minor alcohol poisoning or in layman's terms a hangover.

"Yeah ok, I'll take a quick shower." Mulder yawns and heads of to the bathroom for a shower.

Ten minutes later Mulder comes out of his bedroom dressed, his hair a little wet and shirt buttoned to three from the top. Mulder enters his living room, the air is full of the smell of freshly made coffee. On the small table in front of his couch is a spread of several rounds of toast, marmalade, jam and some orange slices.

"Scully this looks great, a feast fit for a king. It's more than I usually eat in the morning."

"We have a long journey ahead of us, it is not advisable to travel on an empty stomach." Scully sitting down on the couch, wearing a black skirt and white blouse, she had removed her jacket was drinking some of the coffee she had made for the two of them to enjoy. Mulder sat down beside Scully. He
looked across at the woman, who after his dream, he began to see in new light.

"Scully you shouldn't have gone to so much trouble. I was going to buy something on the way at the airport."

Scully looked at the discarded pizza box and the uneaten piece that's left.

"I think you should stop eating junk food Mulder, its bad for your physical well being."

Mulder looked at the cold pizza slice and remembering his unusual dream said to Scully, "Mental well being also, it's a well known fact that they put mood altering drugs in junk food, that's were the term comfort food comes from." Mulder looked into Scully's eyes and said, "Scully you'll make someone
a great wife someday."

"Yeah what about you."

"I don't know, you are only after my body."

Scully smiles, as she takes a sip of coffee, "What I meant was, what about you as a great husband for someone?"

"But anyway what makes you believe that I think you have a great body," Scully said quizzically

"You told me so!" Mulder takes a bite from the toast.

"Yeah, In your dreams right?"

"How'd you know?"

"What you dream about me, how often does that happen?"

"Well Scully, It happ-"

Dring, Dring , Dring, Dring.

"Excuse me, Its seems I am becoming popular all of a sudden." Mulder stands up and leaves Scully.

Dring, Dring

From beyond the door, the familiar voice of Frohike, shouts quietly through the door, "Mulder are you there, Hurry up, Mulder."

Mulder opens the door slightly.

The door is open about a foot, when the door is pushed fully back and stubs Mulder's toes.

Mulder lifts up his foot, and lets out a continuous low moan, appreciating that its still early in the morning.

Langly walks straight by and said "Hi Mulder," Byers and Frohike look down at Mulder's foot and say in stereo, "Sorry Mulder".

The trio head into the living room. Mulder hobbles back into the living room to the gathering that has amassed itself.

Frohike said to Mulder, "I hope we are not interrupting something here."

Scully said, "We're just having breakfast before we go off to Memphis."

Langly said, "Memphis you are not looking for Elvis again are you?"

Byers said sharply "Mulder, Scully, this is it you will not believe what we have just seen."

Frohike "Yeah and we have got the proof this time that aliens really exist."

"Here look at this." Frohike reaches into his long black trenchcoat pocket and pulls out a jar containing a green like glutinous substance.

"What is it?" "Have the three of you guys had the flu?" asked Scully.

Mulder laughs then Scully smiles.

The Lone Gunmen look at each other as if to say have we missed something, since when did Mulder and Scully have the same sense of humour.

"Well guys what is it?" Mulder said.

Byers looks at Scully and Mulder to make sure they are listening to what he is about to say. The room is silent. "Alien afterbirth," Byers said.

Scully picks up the jar and re-examines its contents more closely.

"So where did you get it from?" asks Mulder.

"Two nights ago when we were down at Area 51" Said Byers.

"Yeah, Mulder, you remember Doug Lansing" asks Frohike

"The aerospace expert, he worked at Area 51, and then left because he had become supposedly untrustworthy," said Mulder. "Scully some of his earlier designs are quite similar to what the Stealth Bomber looks like."

"Well he told us about this new craft that he had made early sketches for, and had submitted, before he got the bullet," said Frohike "He said that at Area 51, what was on the drawing board, is now a working prototype."

Scully interrupted, "So where does this alien afterbirth come in."

"Ok, we were positioned about a mile from the perimeter fence of Area 51 last Friday night," said Langly.

"I hope this isn't a long story as we have to leave in 30 minutes," said Scully.

"Is that fresh coffee I see before me?" asked Frohike.

"Yeah, Scully made it, there help yourself" said Mulder and offered Frohike and the others a cup.

"I'm sure if Agent Scully made it, it will taste delicious." Frohike poured himself a cup of coffee and began to drink. "That's without doubt the best cup of coffee I've ever tasted," said Frohike with a warm smile aimed in Scullys direction.

"Glad you like it, Now can we get back to your little adventure," said Scully taking a brief look at her watch.

"Ok, once again we were positioned about a mile from the perimeter fence of Area 51 last Friday night." Byers began to tell the story to his eager friends. "It was a clear night and the desert at 2:18 am was a cold and desolated location except for four men with a mission to view and capture images of a
new American government aircraft. The Lone Gunmen and Doug Lansing.

"Lansing was a 56-year-old ex-Area 51 aerospace expert. Lansing was a short man with grey spikey hair. He was well prepared for this nightout wearing equipment that would put a survivalist to shame.
Lansing said "It doesn't look to good, it looks like a no show."

"Yeah I suppose you're right," said Byers.

"Look come and stay at my camper van tonight, I know a nice little spot not far from here where the fishing's good and you guys can head back tomorrow morning," said Lansing.

The Lone Gunmen went into their van and Lansing got into his camper van. Lansing took the lead and the Lone Gunmen followed behind. They had been driving about three miles when Lansing braked suddenly. He got out of his van; the Lone Gunmen got out of theirs.

"Did you see them, My God did you see them, there was about ten of them," Lansing said in a shaken voice.

"See them, what do you mean?" asked Frohike.

"The aliens," said Lansing.

"Yeah right, come on it's late it was probably something or nothing," said Langly who had been driving the Lone Gunmen van.

"You guys do you want to take a look at this." Interrupted Byers who was pointing a torch at a small area of the desert floor. The red desert sand had been disturbed by what looked like many sets of footprints. "I am not a specialist on footprints but these do not look like any sort of animal I have ever seen before," continued Byers.

"They appear to be heading over towards those rocks over there," said Frohike.

"Are you sure they were aliens?" asked Langly.

"Well I wouldn't send my kids out here for trick or treating in the middle of the night. I am telling you, they were like no animals or human beings I have ever seen before," stated Lansing defiantly.

"Ok then, what are we waiting for, why don't we do what that famous starship captain said 'Lets see what's out there'," said Langly eager to begin a new adventure.

The group followed the footprints towards an escarpment of rocks. There was an opening at the bottom of the escarpment, which led into a dark cave. The group continued into the cave, which was pitch black and silent. They came to large hall and before them appeared four other tunnels.

"What now, the footprints are going of in all directions, this place is like rabbits warren," said Frohike.

"Wait a minute can you hear that, that low whining type sound," said Langly.

"It's coming from that tunnel over there, the one on the far right," said Byers.

The group continued down the tunnel it was only wide enough for the group to walk single file and both Langly and Byers had to sloop down so as not hit their head on the tope of the cave. The further they walked along the cave the louder the noise became and the more perceivable what the sound was. The sound was of some creature in pain.

The group could see a dull light ahead of them. They slowed down taking each step carefully as though they were walking on eggshells. Frohike took the lead and approached the edge of the end of the tunnel wall. Frohike saw some large rocks ahead of him. He had told the others that he would go ahead and get a layout of the land. Frohike snuggled himself up to the rocks and a peered over the top of them, slowly and silently.

What Frohike saw, was beyond his wildest dreams, in fact it was his wildest dreams coming to fruition. About fifteen feet below and thirty feet in front of his vantagepoint were a group of aliens. They were grey and looked like the ones, which his friend Mulder had told him he had seen. Frohike counted six aliens grouped around a single alien lying on what looked like a slab of rock. There was another group of aliens watching the first group of aliens as though this was some form of ritual.

Frohike assumed the situation was as safe as it could be and beckoned the group to come forward and witness the sight for themselves. The group now complete watched the scene being played out below.

The alien on the slab was whining and whimpering louder and more frantically as time went by. The aliens that were close to it held the alien down but not what seemed in a forceful manner.

"What do you think is happening, do you think they are going to kill it?" asked Lansing in a soft whisper.

"It doesn't look like they are causing it harm, its more like the alien is ill," said Frohike.

"I used to have a dog when I was a kid and both times she made that sort of noise it only had been one medical condition, pregnancy," said Langly.

"Yeah of course, they must procreate," said Byers wishing he had shown the intelligence to make that diagnosis.

The group peered slowly again over the rocks. For about twenty minutes the alien continued to make the noises which the group had now put down as labour pains. Then suddenly the agonising sound stopped. The second group of aliens moved forward to join the first group to make one group of aliens of around twenty-five. The cave was silent then a new sound was heard. The sounds of a low whimpering cry filled the cave for a few minutes.

"Can you see anything, can you see what's making the noise?" asked Frohike.

"No, they are standing to close to each other," said Byers.

"Look now, there, you must see it, tell me you see it," said Langly proudly.

The group looked down and beheld the sight of a baby alien. A lifeform whose predecessors where from another planet. Here was this little baby alien and they had witnessed its birth into this world.

"You know I feel like one of the three wise men just now," said Frohike with a sentimental look on his face.

"I don't think we should go down there and greet the baby, do you," said Byers sarcastically.

For ten minutes the aliens were gathered around the motherlike figure and child. The group could see more of the little alien baby. The baby was about eight inches high, grey and now appeared to be asleep. Then some of the aliens started running and then the mother and baby were lead out of the
cave down another tunnel. An unmistakable sound of agony is heard from one of the tunnels below the groups position. A man enters the room, he grabs one of the aliens and with his right hand inserts a stabbing type weapon into the back of the aliens neck. Then he runs after the other aliens down
the tunnels.

"Get down, oh hell, we have got to get out of here, now," said Byers with a clear look of fear on his face.

"Who is that guy?" asked Lansing.

"You've heard us mention Fox Mulder, well he told us of this alien bounty hunter who kills his victims with a weapon that has a sharp spike, delivered to the back of the neck," said Frohike

"So come on, let's get out of here," said Byers.

"Wait, I can go down there and get proof that aliens exist, the bounty hunter didn't see us," said Langly

"No way it's too dangerous," said Byers.

"This is our chance to get proof of alien existence."

"Lansing, Frohike go and get the vans started, I'll be right behind you," said Langly.

"Ok, do what he said. I'll cover you Langly, just be quick, right," said Byers aware that this was a dangerous escapade he would be starting.

There was a small slope to where the aliens had gathered. Langly looked around there was a dead alien. He reached toward it but realized that it would be to heavy to carry the distance back to the van. Langly could here agonising screams echoing along the tunnels. He turned around and looked at
the slab to where the alien had given birth. That was it, on the slab was a mass of what looked liked green goo. Langly emptied his water bottle and using a credit card from his wallet guided the substance into the awaiting water bottle. Langly looked at Byers and smiled.

Byers ushered Langly towards the slope. The duo ran along the tunnels. As they ran all the tortuous sounds had now stopped. They both knew that they had to run as though their lives depended on it. They approached the end of the tunnel and could see the taillights of one of the vans. As they got nearer the pair of footsteps had suddenly became three. Langly and Byers gave one final push
towards the cave exit.

"Byers you go with Frohike, I'll go with Lansing OK." Langly managed to shout.

"Step on it, Frohike, please don't stall this van," said Byers as he pulled the door open.

"No need to shout, where's Langly," said Frohike.

"He is with Lansing, now go, go, go," said a tense Byers.

Meanwhile Langly had told Lansing of the danger they now faced. Lansing followed Frohikes van. They were now about forty feet from the cave exit when Langly seen the alien bounty hunter heading at full speed out of the cave.

"Lansing could you speed up a little, we have company of an extraterrestrial kind," said Langly looking out of the camper van.

"We are safe now, calm down," said Lansing unaware of the bounty hunters' capabilities.

"For all I know this thing could be the Carl Lewis of the alien world so speed up," said Langly.

The two vans were now on the road and picking up speed heading into the night like bats out of hell.

"Whoa, that's some story," said Mulder.

"So are the aliens dead then?" asked Scully

"Who knows. We didn't go back," said Langly.

"So where did this happen exactly?" asked Mulder.

"At a place called Speirs Point," said Frohike.

"Ok, well go there and check it out," said Mulder.

"Excuse me, aren't we forgetting something, like Memphis," said Scully.

"This is a chance to get fresh evidence, no one knows what's happened there."

"The case in Memphis can be handed over to other agents. Come on Scully what do you say," said Mulder with an eager look on his face.

"Ok, Mulder, but first I'll run this substance by the Laboratory and see what it is," Scully said looking at the jar still unconvinced at the claims of the three guests in Mulder's apartment.

"So Mulder, this alien bounty hunter, do you think he will come after us? asked Langly.

"I don't know, all I can say is be on your guard for the time being. Do you want me to arrange a safe house?" asked Mulder.

"No we are probably better looking after ourselves rather than having the FBI protect us, at least we trust each other," said Frohike.

"Well just be aware that this alien has the ability to change into any being, so remember trust no one," said Mulder.

"Ok Mulder, thanks for the warning. I think its time we left, we'll call you later," said Byers.

The Lone Gunmen left Mulder's apartment. Frohike as per usual saying a lovelorn goodbye to his Special Agent Dana Scully.

"Scully do you want to go down stairs and get the car, I'll phone Skinner and tell him we've postponed Memphis. I'll make up some excuse that will hopefully buy us some time," said Mulder.

Mulder flicked on the TV to see what the final score was on the baseball game that he had fallen asleep during. News seemed to have interupted the game because on screen an anchor was saying, "The body of the man who died when his camper van blew up in flames has been confirmed as Douglas Lansing, aged 56 from San Francisco, CA. Police have ruled out foul play and believe that he had a faulty lead on the gas canister on his mobile home."

"Do you think the bounty hunter killed him?" asked Scully.

"It looks like it, I'd better warn Byers and the others. Go and get the car and I'll be down in a moment," said Mulder who picked up the phone.

Scully put the glass jar into her pocket of her jacket and left the apartment. She ran into the gunmen sooner than she expected to."Hi Scully," said Frohike.

"I am glad I've seen you. Lansing is dead. I'm sorry," said Scully sympathetically.

" Oh no, Scully look do you have the jar containing the alien sample?" asked Frohike.

"Yes, why-" said Scully warily.

"Perhaps I should take it back and have it tested by some independent people," suggested Frohike.

"It's alright I will test it myself personally, you can trust me," said Scully.

"Sorry Scully, you can trust no one," said Frohike.

"Are you feeling alright?" asked Scully.

"Give me the sample now?" asked Frohike.

Scully looked around to Mulder's apartment door with an anxious look on her face. Frohike seemed to be acting rather odd. She had only known him through Mulder and he had always seemed pleasant enough.

As she turned back to face Frohike, with every degree going towards him she became more fearful. For the friendly five foot something frame had suddenly transformed itself into a six foot four inch tall mass of terror. She was now dwarfed by the alien bounty hunter.

"Give me the sample now, I will not ask a second time," said the alien bounty hunter forcefully.
Scully reached for the glass jar, she had thought for an instant of going for her gun, but remembering a previous encounter, she realized that a bullet would do this creature no damage.

"Here, here it is."

"Why did you kill all the aliens in the cave?" asked Scully, not knowing if she would get an answer.

"It is what I am here to do," said the alien bounty hunter as he took the jar from Scully.

"Did you kill Lansing and will you kill Byers, Frohike and Langly?" asked Scully.

"I killed Lansing but you have saved the others' lives and your own by giving me the sample," said the alien bounty hunter, which now had started to leave the hall of Mulder's apartment building.

Scully felt disappointment at losing the sample. However she knew now that the Lone Gunmen would be safe because she had a woman's intuition that what the bounty hunter said was true.

"So everything is back to normal then?" asked the well-manicured man from the comfort of his chauffeur driven limousine.

"Yes everything is as it should be," said the cigarette smoking man who was sitting next to the well-manicured man. He lit up a cigarette and gently inhaled from the cigarette in way that indicated that everything had went as he had foreseen.

"You have the sample?" asked the well-manicured man.

The cigarette smoking man pulled out the glass jar from his coat pocket, and placed it on the drinks table of the limousine.

"So no evidence left, I trust?" asked the well-manicured man.

"None." The cigarette smoking man looked into his mind's eye and envisioned how the alien bounty hunter would have massacred the aliens and how his specially selected Blue Beret Alien Colonist Eradication Unit would have vaporized any remaining evidence from the cave.

"So what about this Lone Gunmen Club?" asked the well-manicured man.

"They can be termed geeks no one will believe them and plus they have no evidence," said the cigarette smoking man.

"What about Mulder, is it not time he was eliminated?" asked the well-manicured man.

"I like Mulder as I have said before." "Mulder is my problem, and sooner or later he will realize that I always keep him in check," said the cigarette smoking man.

"Just be sure that when the game is over we have him in checkmate or he will bring us all down," said the well-manicured man.

The cigarette smoking man inhaled deeply and the tip of his cigarette glowed orange, he then exhaled and smiled pleasantly contemplating the sheer thought of Mulder winning the end game.

The End

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