Title: Thank You For Coming Back to Us
Author: Gillian (cerulean_blue)
Written: August 2001
E-mail: blue_cerulean@hotmail.com
Rating: gentle
Spoilers: dead/alive post-ep
Disclaimer: These characters and all things X-Files are the property of CC and 1013. Story created out of respect for that amazing gift.

Story: Mulder awakens from the dead to find a very pregnant Scully.

Dedication: to everyone that has written me encouragement over the last few days. You rock.

She was pregnant.

As long as he had known her it was something that she had always wanted. And he knew that she would make the most amazing mother. She was loving and gentle, and smart. Brilliant. And fiercely loyal. She had imagination and curiosity, and the ability to change her mind. And she had that giggle that was infectious, even if it was rare. He couldn't think of anyone he had ever known, including his own mother, who would be a better parent.

And as he lay there and took in her swollen belly he was suddenly awash with so many feelings. He still had no idea what had happened to him. Where he had been, for how long, or what the consequences were for his long-term health. He only knew what he had seen in her eyes when he had first awaken from whatever it was that had taken him away. The look was one of absolute wonder. She looked at him with the eyes of someone who had seen something truly miraculous. While she could only talk about how amazing it was to have him back, all he could think about was the fact that she was carrying a child.

Whose child?

As he looked at his sleeping partner, he realized, for the first time, the incredible guilt he had carried with him for so long about her inability to conceive. He had always felt that it was his fault that she had been abducted, the implant, the cancer, and ultimately that she has been left barren. Never once, in all the years that they had been together, had she ever turned her anger at this loss in her life towards him. Not one hint. Somehow her selflessness had allowed him to keep those feelings of guilt buried. But, as he lay there and looked at how amazing she looked, he could feel in his body the pure agony of how he had felt responsible all those years.

And yet despite the fact that she was clearly now pregnant, he also became aware of the most incredible feeling of what could only be jealousy. Somehow while he had been gone and who knows how long, it was obviously months she had become pregnant. He had been with her through fertility testing, and he know that the in vitro hadn't taken. He had stayed with her that night after she had the results, and together they had experienced, once more, the anguish of that loss. Later, they had become lovers. But their times together had been rare. Beautiful, playful and meaningful, but rare. They were not willing to risk their partnership against the F.B.I.'s rules. And, despite knowing that the intimacy that they shared even without sex was more than any F.B.I. rule could ever cover, they weren't willing to let that be the thing that split them up.

Had she met and fallen for someone else?

It seemed unthinkable. But maybe he had been gone for years? Who knows. She didn't look years older. In fact, she seemed softer and younger looking. She was beautiful. God she was beautiful. In everything that they had been through, he had always wanted her happiness above all else. It seemed like a crazy thing to say, but maybe she had found that happiness. If that was true, wouldn't he be happy to just be part of that?

His mind was now racing with possibilities. But the one that seemed the most difficult to go to was the one that his heart needed to feel most of all. He could hardly think it, knowing that the disappointment of being wrong would be unbearable. Was this their child? Could it be possible that in some way, by some miracle that they had both dared to hope for, together they had conceived a child? As he stared at her in the chair he realized, without question, that this woman who had been there for him through everything and including some of the most unimaginable things, was the love of his life.

He could see that she was waking. Her eyes slowly attempted to adjust to the light as she realized where she was. And then she seemed to panic, jerking up from her chair and looking over at him, clearly afraid that she would find him gone, or worse. He could tell that she was still unsure of the fact that he was alive.

"Oh thank god, Mulder. I was dreaming that we found you. I got scared that it was just a dream." And then she giggled. It seemed so oddly out of place, and yet his heart leapt at the sound.

He wanted to speak but his throat was still dry from tubes and tests and months years? of not speaking. She stood up and moved to him. Now, her full belly was only inches from him. She poured him a glass of water, so he could speak. And as he took the glass from her she brushed the hair back from his forehead, caressing his forehead lightly. As he drank the water, he realized that he didn't know what words to use. Which question to ask. Who's baby is this? Are you happy? Where do I fit into the picture? So, how are things?

All he could do was look up at her, his eyes filled with tears. He had never felt such profound emotion in his life. His mother. His father. His sister. All that Scully had been through on his quest. And now. As he struggled for words, Scully took his hand, and gently placed it on her belly. The firmness surprised him, but as he pressed against her he could feel the baby kicking against his hand. It startled him, not just the strangeness of the movement beneath her skin, but because of the pure, raw feelings it evoked in him.

"Scully..." he began. But again the words couldn't come. He could only look at her with his eyes ablaze. His eyes screaming the question. Scully pulled the chair over closer to the bed so that she could move right into him, and rest her head on his chest. She lay there for a moment, until he could feel the first tears falling from her eyes, and wetting through his gown.

"We're going to have a baby, Mulder." And then as if she couldn't even believe the words herself, she said them again slower, and with the conviction of a woman already ready to protect her family from whatever lay out there. "We're going to have a baby."

They lay there for what seemed like an eternity, both allowing the other to feel the hugeness of the moment. Finally, Scully reached out her hand to intertwine her fingers with Mulder's, and squeezing his hand firmly but gently, whispered what her heart had been dying to say for months, "thank you for coming back to us."

The End

End Note: OF COURSE she would have told him the baby was theirs.

Please also read my other stories:

  • Partners, in All Other Senses of the Word
  • Which is What?
  • I Will Come Home, I Promise

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