Title: The Star's Child III: Samhain and the Landslide
Author: Ty-Rose
Written: November 1997
Rating: G
Keywords: none, really

Summary: Final part of the Star's Child tales; we're back at the beach!

Notes: This was actually first written on Samhain's Day (1 Nov.) and so revolves around this most favoured holiday of mine. I don't do disclaimers, as I wouldn't be on the bloody Net if I were making millions from my little tales; though I will say this in regards to the use of the lyrics from 'Landslide; by Fleetwood Mac: I'm only borrowing. Also, on the subject, Go Raibh Maith Agat to Miss Emily Dickinson, who has provided the inspiration for this bit of "The Star's Child".

It is again Samhain's Day and at one time (O so long ago!) I did look forward to this holiday of my Celtic friends. My mother never rejoiced in it as I did; saying that when Samhain's Day came that the world began to die.

Then again, seasons were a time of growth for her; and every one was likened to the path of the earth: Winter: the earth dies, Spring; the earth is born, Summer; the earth grows up, Autumn; it wanes.

And I suppose that some people take joy in the seasons still, as I once did. O yes, when I was a boy every passing season was a pillar to be passed; one less until I would become a man and get away from my wretched home.

Then Samantha was taken, and those pillars were to be passed until I found her again.

And now, I count the precious few Samhain's Days left with my Dana, until she too is taken.

"Agent Scully, I'm suggesting that you take some vacation time away from Agent Mulder," the man said solemnly.

"Well Sir, I..."

"Okay, let me re-phrase that. I'm ordering you to take some vacation time away from Agent Mulder."

Scully simply stood and walked sullenly out the door.

"Agent Scully." She turned around.

"We're all concerned for your health...I just wanted you to know," Skinner finished awkwardly.

Scully nodded wearily and left.

"Dana, I think it's a great idea to go back to the beach. How relaxing!" Maggie Scully tried to cheer her daughter, and knew it wasn't working.

"My therapist suggested that I take along a notebook and do some meditation," Scully said, instantly regretting divulging even that much to her mother. Sometimes mothers just don't need to know...

"Your what?"

"Gee Mom, gotta go! I'll send you a postcard; love you!"

"Mulder, it's time for a vacation," Skinner said as gently as he could.

"Are you trying to tell me something sir?" Mulder asked calmly.

Well, if he's going to be good about it, then we *can* be frank, SKinner thought. "Well, yes, as a matter of fact Agent Mulder, I've noticed that you have a particular work pattern when Scully's not in the office."

"What would that be Sir?"

"You either work too much, or not at all. Now, not at all hurts the Bureau, and too much hurts you. So you can take the time off willingly or I can reprimand you officially," Skinner said rapidly before his courage ran out.

The slamming door knocked off the President's portrait from Skinner's wall. He sighed. "Took it better than I thought he would..."

Scully sat back in the small chair she'd brought to the beach with her and took out her fountain pen and small blue notebook. She'd been contemplating her remaining time all day, and on a whim decided to continue her writings to Mulder after all. "To remember me by," she murmered to herself.

"I took my love and I took it down;
Climbed the mountain and I turned around
And I saw my reflection in the
Snow-covered hills,
Where the Landslide brought me down.
O, mirror in the sky,
What is love?
Can the child within my heart
Rise above?
Can I sail thru the changing ocean tides?
Can I handle the seasons of my life?
I don't know."
-Stevie Nicks

I write these lyrics that I might not forget them, and that you also might not; for these lyrics write out my life.

My mountain was once the FBI; and overcoming the inequality of being a woman in the force and gaining respect for myself was the climbing.

And when I finally reached the top of that peak, I was transferred to the X-Files, and you were there with your radical theories and your beautiful way, and I saw myself within you.

Yes Mulder, we've more in common than you might think. Your passion is for the extreme, the truth that you know and seek; but my passion for science and proof is no less vivid, no less bright. When I found you, I found my equal.

And I fell in love with you on the spot, and that love knocked me right back down to the bottom of that summit, knocked me straight back to those girlhood moments when your knees turn to jelly at the thought of someone special.

And then Ahab died, and then came the abduction and losing you, Missy's death, all the lies, the cancer. And now here I sit, at the bottom of hope with nowhere to go but up; but who's going to lift me?

Will I ever return to that youthful bliss I had when I first fell in love with you? Can I survive this emotionally with no one there to hold me or tell me it will be all-right? Will there ever be someone to tell me that they love me in the night? Or will I die alone as Missy did?



Gazing out at the sea Mulder kicked up a bit of sand in scorn for his past. This was once a pretty place, a place of laughter, the place where he met his Star-Child. But now it was just a beach like any other in the world; nothing special because what made it special was the Star-Child herself and she wasn't there. In fact, she wouldn't be in the world itself much longer.

Tears came to his eyes as he thought about the day he gave her the shell necklace. She probably threw it away, he thought bitterly to himself. Of course, Scully had never given him even the slightest indication that she even remembered *being* the Star's Child. And he'd said nothing upon meeting her that day in the cold grey office because she was no longer that child, only a ghost of the lively, impish little girl he'd known. What had happened to the little being who fancied being called Brownie? What had the world done to her?

Mulder sat down on the blanket he'd brought and pulled out a pencil and pad to write on. The Lone Gunmen had filled the pad with little inspirational (well, as inspirational as paranoid publishers can get) thoughts after Scully had been diagnosed with cancer. "Look man, we're down with the not talking thing, but you've got to let it out somehow," Langly had said.

Mulder had laughed at them and thrown the gift into the back of his car, but when he found it on the way to Massachusettes he curiously brought it with him to the shore and now began to employ it after all.

1 November, 1997

There are days when I think that the whole notion of God is a sick joke. What kind of God would make a beautiful, happy little girl, let her grow up into a beautiful but sade young woman, and then take every happiness away from her, one by one?

What kind of God would let her be so blind as to stay with me to the point where it killed her?

And what kind of God would let a loser like me near her?

"All circumstances are the frame
In which His Face is set,
All Latitudes exist for His
Sufficient continent.

The light His Action and the dark
The Leisure of His Will,

In Him Existence serve, or set
A force illegible."
-Emily Dickinson

Three days passed before they met on the shore at twilight; Mulder had been walking along picking up shells when he tripped on a small rock and landed dead in the centre of Scully's blanket.

"In true Mulder-esque fashion," Scully said, not smiling.

"What are you doing here Scully?" Mulder asked, face full of sand.

"What are *you* doing here?" she countered.

"Well, I used to come here as a child on summer holidays..."

"I'll tell you how the sun rise-

A ribbon at a time.

The steeples swam in amethyst,

The news like squirrels ran.

The hills untied their bonnets..."

The voice was not lilting as it once had been, but rather weary of the world and all its evils. So she *did* remember.

Scully gazed out to sea as Mulder sat down beside her on the sand. "I'm tired Mulder; we're not children anymore." She turned to face him. "I haven't forgotten Mulder; it's just that there's no time anymore."

"No time for what Scully? Life? No time for rymes and songs and the seaside? Scully, what happened to my Star-Child?" Mulder asked sadly.

Scully patted his hand and as a bit of blood began to trickle down her lip he noticed the circles under her eyes and she said, "She's still there somewhere Mulder, but she's tired, and scared, and lonely."

"She's never been alone Scully," Mulder said solemnly.

Scully walked away.

"What is that you want Scully?" Mulder called to her. She stopped short but did not turn. "For right now?"

"For forever."

"Kids, a dog, a house, a husband, a nice car, normal things Mulder."

Mulder winced, knowing that she didn't have the precious time to get these dreams of hers. "Okay," he said, "What about now? Right now."

"Well, Mulder I..."

In a flash he was behind her with his arms around her waist. "Something like this maybe? Or maybe this?" he asked as he kissed her ear softly.

Scully whipped around. "Mulder, you can't..."

"Why can't I Scully? Don't you like it? Don't you want it?"

Scully bit her lip as she thought back on her journal entry. Firmly she explained, "I'm dying Mulder. We've both got to face it."

"I know that, you know that. We face it every day...together," Mulder said.

"Mulder, don't do this to yourself!" Scully shouted.

Mulder grabbed her by both shoulders and calmly looked into her eyes. "I love you Dana, Brownie, Star-Child, or whatever else you want to be called. And I'm not losing you before I have to. Believe me, not loving you will hurt me more than losing you to this disease."

Scully dropped her chin and he pulled her into his arms. "Come on, I know the perfect place to talk," he said, and led her by the hand to that place in the rocks where they gazed at the sea together so long ago.

"Tell me a story Fox," Scully said sleepily.

"I'll tell you a story;
I'll tell you how the sun rose-
A ribbon at a time.
The steeples swam in amethyst,
The news like squirrels ran.
The hills untied their bonnets,
The bobolinks begun.
Then I said softly to myself,
'That must have been the sun!'
But how he set, I know not.
There seemed a purple stile
Which little yellow boys and girls
Were climbing all the while
Till when they reached the other side,
A dominie in grey
Put gently up the evening bars,
And led the flock away."

Scully sighed. "That's my favourite. It always has been."

Mulder held her a little bit tighter. "Then how about I tell it to you every night?"

Scully smiled a sad smile. "Until the end?"

Mulder also smiled sadly to himself, "Yeah."



"What do you think happens to us when we die?"

"Dana, you know I don't believe in heaven or God and all that..." Mulder started.

"Tell me what *you* think will happen to *me*," Scully explained.

Mulder kissed her hairline and smoothed her hair around her ears. "Well, I think that when you die you'll go back to where you came from-the stars, because you're a star's child, just like I always said."

"You know what Fox? Missy smashed that shell necklace you gave me. She was being really unfair and just threw it on the floor and smashed it with her foot. I just wanted you to know that I didn't throw it away or anything."

Mulder was glad her back was turned to him so that she couldn't see his blushing. "Well, it's Samhain's Day, so let's make a resolution to forget the past." He kissed her head again and said, "Will you wait for me up there in the sky?"

"Of course I will Fox. I could never run off and leave you," Scully said with conviction. "But, when the time comes, how will you find me?"

Mulder smiled tenderly. "O, don't worry, I'll just look for the brightest star in the heavens."

The End

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