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Title: Sarah Companion: Close Call Summary: History looks set to repeat itself when Josh drops a bombshell on his parents. Note: Takes place after "Sarah 20 - Papa Fox" Scully tapped lightly on her son's bedroom door. "Josh honey, your dinner's on the table." Her son's voice - so reminiscent of his father's - came back at her through the closed door. "I'm not hungry, Mom. I'll eat it later." Scully frowned - this wasn't like Josh at all. This was the third night in a row that he'd come home from class, gone straight to his room and closed the door. His dinners had gone uneaten. Scully was worried. She walked slowly back to the kitchen, her thoughts in turmoil over her son's behavior. It was so out of character... "Is he joining us?" asked Mulder. Scully shook her head and sat at the table. She picked at her meal, finally pushing it away half eaten. "I'm so worried about him, Mulder. I've tried asking him what's wrong but I've gotten nowhere. If he's in some sort of trouble I want to know about it. Do you think you could talk to him?" Mulder covered her hand. "I'll try, but you know what he's like. Perhaps it might be better to wait, and let him come to us." Mulder and Scully had found over the years that 'wait and see' was usually the best policy when dealing with their children and issues of a sensitive nature. They had never pressured any of the children to talk about matters that were bothering them, and that approach had paid off in the long run. Each child had found their parents to be caring and supportive, even over the most trivial of worries. "For all we know, it could be nothing more than Cally dumping him," offered Mulder. Scully shook her head. "No... it's more than that, Mulder. I feel it... it's something he's afraid to tell us... he's afraid of our reaction." "Well, I can't imagine anything so bad that he couldn't tell us about it, Scully. Josh knows better than that - he knows he can talk to us about anything, they all do." "But to shut himself away in his room... it's as if he can't face us. And he's not eating either. I don't think I can take much more... I need to know, Mulder." Mulder wrapped his arms around her and kissed her. "Okay... I'll see what can do." It was past one in the morning when Josh appeared in the doorway of his father's study. Mulder looked up as the shadow fell across the desk. "Hey," he said softly. "You okay?" Josh shook his head, his chin quivering slightly. "Can I talk to you, Dad?" "Sure. What's up?" Mulder waited - Josh would open up when he was ready. While he waited, Mulder took in his son's appearance. Josh looked pale and drawn, his eyes having lost their usual sparkle. He looked close to tears. Josh poked at the papers beside him, unable to meet his father's gaze. "Cally thinks she might be pregnant." There - it was out. "I see," replied Mulder. His expression remained unreadable, but his heart had plunged into his stomach. "She missed a period..." "There could be many reasons for that," answered Mulder, frantically trying to recall what Scully had told him about such instances. "You have exams coming up - I know you've both been studying hard for that. Maybe she's under a lot of stress. Has Cally taken a pregnancy test?" Josh shook his head. "Do you have any other reason to suspect that she might be pregnant?" Josh cast his gaze downwards, unable to look into his father's eyes. Mulder began to think the unthinkable. "Did you and Cally have unprotected sex?" When Josh looked back at his father, there were tears in his eyes. He sat there, expecting the full force of his father's anger to come crashing down around his ears. But Mulder just sat there quietly. He'd been there, he knew what Josh was going through. Who was he to pass judgment? "Josh, I won't say anything to your mother about this, but you have to promise me one thing - that you'll tell her. And I mean soon. She's worried sick about you. Will you do that?" Josh nodded. "Dad? What am I going to do?" His voice trembled. "Do you love Cally?" asked Mulder. Josh frowned momentarily. "I don't know if I'm 'in love' with her... what does that mean? I care about her very much... I think of her, and want to be with her, all the time. I miss her when she's not around." Josh's expression went back to that of a scared little boy. "What if she is pregnant, Dad? What do I do?" Mulder stood, and pulled his son into his embrace. "We'll talk about it tomorrow. Right now, I want you to go to bed and to try not think about it, okay?" Easier said than done, thought Mulder, but he had to try and ease his son's worries somehow. He pushed Josh away a little. "Josh, you're our son and we love you. We'll do everything we can to help you in this, but you have to talk to us. You're not alone, son - don't ever think that. Now, try and get some sleep." Another hug, and Mulder did something he hadn't done in a long time, not since Josh was a small boy - he kissed him on the cheek. Mulder lay in bed, but sleep wouldn't come. The memories came flooding back - of Annie asking him to come up to Boston, and then telling him that she was pregnant with Sarah. He had been numb with shock at first, wondering how such a thing could have happened when they'd always been so careful. Then the numbness had worn off and he had been pleased, although his pleasure was mixed with apprehension about the kind of father he would be to his child. He glanced across at Scully - she was sleeping soundly. Mulder hoped that Josh would tell her in the morning - he would make himself scarce while he did so. Mulder could only guess at how she'd take it. With that thought, he fell into an uneasy sleep. Josh looked terrible at breakfast the next day. He clearly hadn't had any sleep. He watched Scully bustling about the big kitchen. "Mom? Can I talk to you?" "Of course, Josh. Just let me finish this." A look passed between father and son. Mulder stood up. "I'm just going down to the store. I won't be long." "What for?" asked Scully. She wasn't aware that they needed any shopping. "Seeds." As he turned to go, he winked at Josh, and received a watery smile of gratitude in return. Scully was puzzled by Mulder's need for seeds - she'd brought home a large pack only a few days previously. Surely he couldn't have got through them that quickly... She opened the kitchen cupboard - there they were in front of her. "You know, Josh - I think your father's going crazy. There're seeds in the cupboard..." "Mom, could you sit down?" interrupted Josh. "I need to talk to you. It's important." "Okay honey," said Scully softly, seeing the expression on her son's face. She sat opposite him at the table. "What do you want to talk to me about?" Mulder found Scully sitting at the kitchen table when he came back from his fool's errand. She was white faced and she had been crying. "Where's Josh?" asked Mulder. "He went to class." Her eyes bored into his and her voice was carefully controlled. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because it wasn't my place to tell you. He came to me in the early hours of the morning and told me." "You should have woken me and told me." Her tone was like ice, and fresh tears began to flow. "Damn it, Mulder - he's only a baby himself!" she sobbed. "He's twenty-one years old, Scully - he's not a baby anymore." He knew instantly that he'd said the wrong thing. "He is to me, just the way that Sarah and Stephanie are to you." "I know - I'm sorry, Scully. I wasn't thinking." "No - you never do!" Mulder let the remark pass - it wasn't the time to get into that old argument again. He sat down beside Scully and put his arms around her. She sniffed and blew her nose on a handkerchief, and quietly collected herself. "What are we going to do?" she asked eventually. "I think Josh needs to get Cally to have a pregnancy test - a proper one, not one of those home testing kits. Once we've got the result, we'll take it from there." "He's not ready to be a father, Mulder." "Are any of us ever really ready, Scully?" "At least you already had your career," she replied. "He hasn't even graduated yet. He has his whole life ahead of him." "And I didn't?" asked Mulder softly. "Just because I was in my late twenties when Sarah was born, it doesn't mean that I was without ambitions." "This is only his first real relationship - the six months that Cally's been around is the longest he's ever dated anyone." Scully sighed. "What were they thinking of? We drummed into him the importance of having safe sex!" Her voice had risen again. "I can't believe he would be so stupid!" "It happens, Scully. The feelings are so intense... you want to make love to the person you're with so much that all sense and reason go out of the window." He took Scully's hand. "I seem to remember we had a few encounters like that before we were married." "That was different. We were in a position to cope with a surprise pregnancy - Josh isn't. We could offer a baby a home, and we had the money to support it. He's scared, Mulder - he doesn't know what to do." "I know, Scully. That's why we shouldn't do anything until Cally has had a pregnancy test. It's no good jumping to conclusions, but once we know how the land lies we'll support Josh all we can. Right now, all we can do is let him know that we love him and not make a big thing of this. I don't think Sarah and Stephanie need to know, not at this stage. If the test is positive, then it's a whole different ball game. Then it would be up to Josh to decide whether or not he wanted to tell his sisters. For the moment, I don't want him to feel any worse than he does already." Scully let out a sigh. "He said you took it very calmly." Mulder gave her the wry grin. "I've been there, Scully, remember? I had a distinct feeling of deja vu when he told me. I know what he's going through, and besides, what would have been the point of me ranting and raving when the pregnancy is nothing more than a suspicion at this stage? I've no doubt that some would say that the sins of the father are being visited on the son, but I've never considered Sarah's conception a sin. It was more of a miracle. Whether Josh will feel the same way - if Cally does turn out to be pregnant - remains to be seen." When Josh came home a couple of days later, he was far happier. It had been a tense few days for him and his parents as they awaited the result of Cally's pregnancy test. "Cally's not pregnant - it was a false alarm!" Josh was overjoyed. Scully hugged him tightly, as did Mulder. "No more unprotected sex, Josh - however much of a hurry you might be in," said Scully. "Don't worry, Mom - I've learned my lesson. That was enough to put me off sex forever!" "How does Cally feel?" "Relieved," replied Josh. "We both do." "Are you going to continue seeing her?" asked Mulder. "Yes - why shouldn't I? This hasn't changed the way I feel about her... in a way, it's brought us closer together. We were thoughtless and irresponsible, but we've learned our lesson. We take the blame equally - it takes two to tango, Dad, as you're always telling me!" Mulder chuckled. It was so good to see his son back to his usual cheeky self. They sat down to dinner. "What would you have done if Cally had been pregnant?" asked Mulder. Josh thought for a moment. "I don't know, Dad. We hadn't gotten around to discussing our feelings about that, or what we were going to do about it. We were too busy being scared that the worst might have happened." Josh paused. "I don't think I'm ready to be a father, I know that much. I don't know if I ever will be. I'm just relieved that it's all over." He looked from one parent to the other. "I'm sorry I put you through all this..." "I doubt that it's been easy for Cally's parents, either," commented Scully. "How did she cope?" Josh flushed. "Better than I did. But she's not yet ready to become a mother." "Cally told you that?" Josh nodded. "After she'd told me the result of the test." A pause. "I'm really sorry for not telling you, Mom..." Scully reached out and took his hands in hers. "Josh, we love you, no matter what, and we're always here for you. Your father and I don't ever want you to be afraid to come to us, okay? It doesn't matter what you've done, you're our son and we'll always support you." "Okay, Mom." He gave his mother a hug. Scully patted his back. She was just glad to have her son back. The End |