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Title: I Just Wanna Run Summary: The only way Mulder knows how to cope with all the changes in his life. Author's Notes: As always, these characters do not belong to me. They belong to 20th century Fox, Chris Carter. Not mine. Not writing this to make any money. On with the show. . . Outside of Mulder's Apartment Dressed in a black t-shirt and gray shorts, Mulder finished lacing up his running shoes as he bent and stretched his calves and ankles. His knees cracked rather loudly and he mused that it might have something to do with the fact that he was not as young as he used to be. Shaking the thought, he started his descend down the front steps of his building. As he reached the bottom, he turned to his left without looking and almost collided with a very pregnant Scully. He tensed when he realized he had brushed up against her swollen stomach. They both stared at each other for several seconds until Scully finally looked down and away from his piercing gaze. Mulder's gaze seemingly wandered over her. He couldn't help notice the way her distended belly looked. The navy sweater she wore hugged every inch of her new curves perfectly. He fidgeted nervously, not sure of what to do or what to say to this woman who had been his best friend for years. "Where are you going?" she asked as she saw that he wasn't meeting her eyes anymore. He shrugged. "Going for a jog, I'd invite you but. . . " he trailed off as he waved his hand in the general direction of her protruding belly with what she guessed was annoyed disinterest. She nodded. "Yeah, that. Don't you think we should talk about this?" she asked, her voice was beginning to falter. Mulder's eyes narrowed as he looked at her belly again. "I gotta get going," he said dismissively as he sauntered past her, placing earphones in both of his ears. He turned up the volume and he began to drown out the sound of her voice. He jogged away, faintly hearing her calling his name. He knew he was a bastard, but he couldn't deal with her situation for the moment. All sounds were drowned out. All he wanted to feel was the sensation of his feet coming in contact with the concrete and all he wanted to hear was the pounding of his heart. He thought it might be post traumatic stress disorder that he was suffering from. Wasn't he allowed to be a prick after the rough ride he had just been through? He was sure that those alien bastards really did do a number on his head. Having the pleasure of being newly alive for a month and some weeks, he didn't know what normal was supposed to be. After all, he technically wasn't supposed to be alive, but here he was. He was recovering at an alarming rate. Scully and his doctor told him he was in perfect health. Perhaps that was reason enough to rush into trouble to almost get himself killed at the federal statistics center when he thought he had been setup by the new agent. His world as he knew it had turned upside-down. The X-files were no longer his. Scully had another partner and she was pregnant. Scully was pregnant. The last one really made him want to throw up. How could a woman who was diagnosed as barren be a few months away from giving birth? Truth be told, the part that had him reeling was that she could be carrying another man's child. Didn't she say she loved him? What the fuck had happened? Did she not want his child? All those nights they shared together must have meant more to him than they did to her. What could she want to talk about? How the other man took his place? As he narrowly missed getting hit by a garbage truck, something that Langly had said was still fresh in his mind. In the presence of the other gunmen, at her apartment, he had said something about his involvement in her condition. So he was involved? Did that mean that it was his baby? She didn't confirm nor dismiss his presumption. If it was at all possible, this worried him more. What did he know about babies? Was she sure that she wanted to have his child? He wasn't exactly father material. A baby was a big responsibility. What if he failed Scully and the baby? He felt like he was already failing them. He was too busy feeling sorry for himself that he didn't take the time to appreciate the fact that he was alive and well. He was also mistreating Scully. She didn't deserve his bullshit. Maybe it wasn't too late for her to get away from him. As he gasped for breath rounding a corner, he realized that he would die if she actually followed through. He couldn't possibly imagine living without her. If he continued to act the way he had been, it would become a reality. He needed to get his shit together and fast. The worst thing that could happen was Scully leaving him, for good. Now he was determined to make things right with her and their possible future together. One Week Later. . . Mulder had just finished his run as he walked out of the elevator to his floor. He walked up to his apartment and noticed that Scully was waiting for him as she leaned back against the wall near his door, with her eyes closed. The way she was standing really made her distended stomach stick out. At first glance, he thought that she could be in distress so he shoved his hand in the pocket of his shorts to retrieve his phone if he needed to call for medical assistance. Upon closer inspection, she was just resting. His heartbeat slowly returned to normal. As Mulder continued to study her, he noticed that her abdomen was bigger. How far along was she? He felt a strange sensation to want to reach out and touch her stomach but didn't. But he wanted to. He really wanted to. She was probably still pissed off at him and with good measure. "Scully, you okay?" he gently tapped her shoulder to rouse her and her eyes popped open at the sudden contact as she took in her surroundings. He removed his hand as quickly as he could sensing her dark mood. He was in trouble. "Mulder, I need to talk to you," she said and he nodded absentmindedly as he pointed to the earphones. She rolled her eyes in exasperation as she waited for him to open his door. Mulder stepped inside his apartment as Scully slowly waddled behind him. He took the earphones out of his ears and turned off his music player. He noticed that she was still standing. "Scully, you don't have to stand there, have a seat, I insist," he said as he walked over to his leather couch and cleared some of his belongings and placed them on the coffee table. He patted the cushion invitingly and offered a small smile. He noticed that Scully hadn't moved even after he had invited her to sit down. She was looking down at her feet or at least where her feet used to be considering the large mound of her stomach. He was still amazed that she was so pregnant. "You win Mulder, I'm done. I won't bother you anymore," she said definitively as she reached inside her blazer pocket to pull out her key ring. He watched as she unhooked the key that he had given to her so many years ago. She unceremoniously placed the key down on his coffee table. Her face was a controlled mask of determination. Now he was scared. "What are you doing?" he asked, looking into her eyes. "You told me that you didn't want to be bothered and that you needed to figure things out and that's exactly what I'm doing, leaving you alone and before I go, I need the key that I gave to you, please?" she demanded as she held out her hand to him, palm side up. He shook his head. "Absolutely not. You gave me that key because you trusted me with your life and I'm not taking back my key, so you can forget it," he replied angrily as he perched himself on the edge of his desk, arms crossed against his chest like a stubborn child. A really stubborn child. She let her hand fall to her side. "That's fine. It was just a courtesy anyway. I'm changing my locks," Scully said harshly as she turned to leave. At that, Mulder got up and caught her by her arm in a forceful grip. She tried to break free. "If you think I'm going to let you walk out of my life, you are severely mistaken," he told her as he towered over her. She looked up at him, with fire in her eyes. She scoffed. "Don't act like you care about me or the baby, MY baby. It's mine and only mine. We don't have to do this, you don't owe me anything, consider yourself free of raising a child you never wanted, go and live your life," she spat angrily. She squared her shoulders defensively and stared him down. "You don't get to tell me what to do. Just as you live your life independently from my input, that is how I expect to live my life," she added. He was surprised by this. "As long as you are carrying my child and my child's mother, you are my responsibility, I never want to be independent from you, if anything, I'm completely dependent on you and I'm truly sorry for how I've treated you because you didn't deserve it and I don't deserve you but I love you, I love you Scully," he said as his chest heaved from the emotional toll his confession had taken on him. She slowly shook her head from side to side as tears made their way down her face. She was fighting his strong grip but stopped. "You can't say things like that and not mean them, I have to do what's best for my child and if we are better without you, then it's something that I have to do," she cried. Mulder cleared his throat. "I believe that we can be better together, don't shut me out of your life," he said. Tears were streaming down her face. "Don't shut ME out of YOUR life," she whimpered, letting her tears fall freely. Mulder sniffled, then released his grip on her arm. He wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. The gravity of the situation happening at the moment hit him like a ton of bricks. He was on the brink of losing the love of his life, the mother of his child, his rock, his touchstone, his everything. "Why did you run away from me?" Scully asked in a soft whisper as she lowered her hand down to her belly, spreading her fingers against the taut surface of her rounded abdomen to soothe the unruly movements of the child within her. Mulder smiled at the sight before him, but it quickly faded. "I honestly don't know. I couldn't think of any other way to feel like myself, so I ran, running has always been the one thing that grounds me, I realize that it sounds stupid," he admitted. Scully rolled her eyes. "It's not stupid Mulder, I just want you to know that I'm here for you if you ever feel like talking about something, anything, I'm here," she told him as she hesitantly reached for his fingers, almost expecting him to flinch or pull away from her touch, but was pleasantly surprised when he didn't. He entwined his fingers with her and smiled. "When I'm ready to talk, really talk, you will be the first one to know, okay?" he asked sincerely. She nodded. Now that he had her so close to him, he couldn't take his eyes off her. The Dana Scully that he knew was far gone and replaced with this new, softer, gentler, emotionally expressive and not to mention, pregnant, very pregnant Scully. The very thought that she was going to be a mother took his breath away. Far more mind-blowing was the fact that he was going to be a father. He was going to be someone's dad. This had to be the best news that he ever received. "So the baby is mine?" he asked again, unsure if the question irritated her, but he had to know for sure. Her blue eyes bore into his hazel-green ones. "Yes, the baby is yours," she said simply. At this, Mulder stared at her swollen abdomen and bit his lip. "Uh, um, is it okay. . . can I?. . . Do you want me to?. . . "he trailed off as he continued to look down at her distended stomach in fascination, his hand twitching at his side, afraid to ask her straight up that he wanted to touch her belly. "Here Mulder, give me your hand," she told him as he held out his hand to her. She took his hand in her hand and guided it onto the expanse of her stomach. Their joined hands rested just above her navel. The connection was instant. They waited and they felt a kick. "Wow, that was strong," he said, his eyes full of wonder. "The baby is always so active at night, it surprises me that there is so much activity during the day, perhaps because the baby takes after someone I know very well," she smirked. Mulder was amazed at what he was feeling, finally feeling the normalcy of just being in the moment. He had caused her great pain and the last thing he wanted to do was hurt her. "I did shut you out. I didn't want you to be burdened with guilt thinking that there was something that you could've done to help me. I was dying and I was desperate. I thought it was a cruel joke that life was playing on me, on us. I had everything I wanted one minute and then I lost it all," he told her. Scully cleared her throat. "I thought that we were past all that. I came to you when I was battling cancer and I figured that we could do just about anything together," she said. He sighed. "The truth was, I acted selfishly by keeping my illness from you, but also because when you asked me to father your child, I was also thinking about passing on my genes, my name, I wanted to leave you with something that was mine," Mulder couldn't help feeling possessive as he cupped her distended abdomen, his fatherly instincts already kicking in. "You were okay knowing that you wouldn't be around to be a father to this child?" she asked, her voice was hoarse with anger. Sadly, Mulder nodded without looking at her. At this, Scully moved out of his reach and backed away from him, placing a protective hand on the bulge of her belly. "I'm sorry Scully, I never wanted to hurt you," he told her as he tentatively approached her. She shook her head. "What would make you think I would want to have a dead man's child?" she yelled angrily. Mulder had no response for this. He knew he was wrong and seeing her hurt and angry could be enough to drive her away for good. "I need to go, I need to be by myself for a while to think, please just don't look for me," Scully spoke softly as she looked away from him then headed towards the door. There was great irony in her words. He had spoken the same words to her not so long ago and hearing them being used against him now, he realized how much they had hurt her. He truly was such a bastard. "Dana, I am deeply sorry and I know you need space from me, but please whatever you do, don't change your locks, I will stay away," he promised her. Again, she nodded without saying anything to him. Mulder watched as she slowly waddled out of his apartment. He was powerless to stop her and knew that if he went after her, she would bite his head off for going against her wishes. He locked the door and walked back to his couch. He knew she had to cool off but he was not going to throw in the towel. Four days later. . . Scully's Apartment 9:00am Mulder promised to stay away, but found that it was easier said than done. He trailed her when she went to work, making sure to keep out of sight. Since he really didn't have a formal assignment anymore, he was free to come and go as he pleased, to the relief of Deputy Director Kersh. He hated how close Agent Doggett seemed to get to her whenever they talked. It made his skin crawl. He was jealous of this man. He was jealous that he got to see the changes in her body as the pregnancy progressed to accommodate their growing child. Most of all, he felt angry at himself for not being there for her when she needed him the most. He hoped to change that though. He was back and he wasn't planning on going anywhere anytime soon. Hopefully he could make things right with her. Now as he stood outside of her apartment door, he carefully inserted his key in the lock to make sure it still worked, just as he had done every morning and night since she told him she would change them. He was not prepared however, to find himself standing face to extremely large belly when she opened the door and surprised him. He gasped and swallowed painfully as she gave him her trademark raised eyebrow and the hand on her hip for effect. "What do you think you are doing?" she asked him, her voice was eerily calm. This was never a good thing. Having been caught red-handed, he straightened up and put his key in the pocket of his leather jacket. "Just checking to see if my key still worked," he said sheepishly. She eyed him skeptically. "Right. You saw for yourself that it works. You have been over here day and night, checking and re-checking my locks, are you satisfied?" her words were dripping with cynicism. His eyes widened when she figured out what he had been up to. He definitely couldn't get anything past her. Scully, the great investigator. "No, I didn't come here just to check locks, I miss you Scully," he told her. Her steely blue eyes softened. She sighed. "Are you still running?" Mulder thought about her question. It didn't seem as though she meant physical exercise. He squared his jaw. It was a moment of truth. "No, I'm not running. I have been running for most of my life and it has never gotten me anywhere worthwhile," he answered honestly. She ducked her head, licking her lips nervously as she opened her apartment door wider. "I think that with all that running you've been up to, you deserve to take a break," she said to him as she stepped to the side to allow him entry. Mulder smiled at her offer and went inside. After she closed the door, he wasn't really sure what to do next. He was stunned beyond belief at the sight of her. She was wearing dark blue silk pajamas which made her eyes stand out. Her hair seemed redder and it was longer, framing her face so perfectly, coming down to rest on her shoulders. But the most amazing part about her was her heavily pregnant belly. How could he have doubted this life? How could he have doubted her? "Scully, you're so beautiful," he blurted it out like some ten year old kid with a crush on his teacher. She blushed fiercely. "Beautiful for a whale, you mean," she shot back. He shook his head. "I meant beautiful as in gorgeous," he told her, continuing to speak his mind. She smiled shyly. "Agent Mulder, of course you know that flattery will get you nowhere," she teased him. He turned his head to the side and raised his brow. Feeling bold, he reached out and placed his hand on the bulge of her belly. "Well contrary to your beliefs and your current condition, I can say that it has," he said, in a seductive tone. Scully looked down at where his hand was resting. Mulder gently rubbed the taut expanse of her rounded middle. She looked up, their eyes met for several seconds. He sighed. "I came over here because I needed to apologize for what I said the other day, my behavior was horrible, I tried to push you away, when in reality, I should have asked you to get closer," he told her, pulling his hand away from her stomach. She shrugged. "You aren't the only one who should be apologizing, I'm sorry I said what I said about not wanting to carry a dead man's child," she said sincerely. Mulder thought about her words. "Let's put this nonsense behind us and move forward, I think we wasted enough of our time trying to figure out who was wrong or who was right," he said as he guided her over to her couch. With added effort, she slowly lowered her girth onto the couch, he sat beside her. She huffed. "There's nothing to figure out. I'm always right and you will always be wrong, deal with it," she said, giving him a sly smirk. His mouth hung open in surprise. "Even when you know you're wrong?!," he asked incredulously. She nodded. "I'm never wrong". Mulder chuckled and shook his head in disbelief. He was so lucky to have her. Perhaps one day she could say the same thing about him. He reached inside his jacket pocket and pulled out a key. "Give me your hand Scully," he demanded. She immediately obliged her partner's request. Mulder placed the key in her hand and closed it. He brought her fingers to his lips and kissed them. "You are always welcome to come to my apartment, even if it's late at night or early in the morning, I'm never too busy for you," he said. "Once again, I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care about you, you are the only one that matters to me," he told her. She choked back a sob. "Damn hormones, I'm such a mess," she said as she furiously wiped her eyes. He smiled warmly. "Awww Scully, you're pregnant. I think it's safe to say that you are allowed to be emotional in your condition, express what you feel, pregnant or not," he told her. She nodded, still crying. "Mulder, what are we going to do?" she asked him as she cupped his cheek. It was another loaded question. Whether she was asking for some kind of answer for their future plans or a plan for later that evening, he knew she wanted to be reassured. He turned his cheek into her palm and softly kissed it. "Well, the one thing I am sure of is that I will always need a running partner, so whatya say partner, interested in joining me on my jog?" he asked. She raised her brow. "Partner, I hate to say this, but you're shit out of luck this time, in case you have forgotten, I'm carrying a good thirty pounds on me, mostly my belly, so I won't be able to go jogging with you or anyone for that matter," she replied as she rubbed her distended midsection for emphasis. He leered at her. "There is something I can think of that you can only do with me," he whispered seductively and observed as she became quite flustered at his choice of words. She licked her lips. "Oh, and what would that be?" she answered in a much deeper voice. He smiled. "We could go for a walk," he said in a nonchalant tone. Scully smirked. "Sure, I would love that, let me just change, help me up, please?" she asked as she held out her hands to Mulder. He got up first, then held her hands as she slowly gathered herself from the couch. He grunted. "Wow, g-woman, have you put on some weight?" he teased her. She playfully punched him in his side. "Hardy har har, laugh it up while you can Mulder, because I will give birth soon and then I will kick your ass," she shot back. He laughed. "Hey, instead of going for a walk, how about we go for a waddle, get it, waddle," he chuckled as he shielded himself when she threw a pillow at his head. "Keep it up Mulder, you will be in charge of diaper duty," she said over her shoulder as she waddled away towards her bedroom. Mulder laughed. "One more thing, how do you know that I only walk with you? What if I told you there was someone else?" she asked him. He bit his lip. He was suddenly feeling quite jealous of the fact that there was someone else that she was spending time with. His feathers were officially ruffled and he was seeing green. "Is there someone else?" Mulder asked cautiously. She smiled. "Of course, my mother," she answered innocently, "Who else did you think it was?" she giggled. Mulder sighed with relief. The End
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