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Title: Holiday Journal: Halloween I know I said to watch for Transitions, but I just couldn't pass up the challenge of Hunter's first holidays. I started thinking of all sorts of evil things to do and finally ... trashed them all. This is Hunter's story through and through. It's how and what she thinks and what she believes. I decided to give you a glimpse into her mind set and all it entails and what better backdrop than the holidays. This does take place after Transitions, so there are some things I need to establish before you start reading.
Holiday Journal, Entry #1 Since I've been in the "real" world, Trini has suggested that I write down things that go on around me and my thoughts on them. She said it would help me to deal with a lot of these new experiences. I don’t know; I guess it's helping. I don't get those feelings of being lost or drowning as much now. People can walk up to me and I don't nearly pass out from trying to shield from them, so it's possible. To be honest, in my life, anything's possible. I've titled this journal, my Holiday Journal. It's going to cover Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hanukkah, Christmas, Kwanzaa, and New Year's; my firsts in celebrating everything except Kwanzaa. I know it’s not an catchy title, but who's really going to care. Dare might look over it after my sessions and Trini may glance at it to make sure I’m doing it, but that’s all. I would hope they would have more of a life than to sit and wonder why I didn’t take more time to come up with a snappy, more Hunter-like title. Anyway, I suppose I should make this more official-sounding. Within these crisp linen (It pays to be nice to Dana; she does NOT give shoddy presents!) pages are the journal entries covering the first holidays of Miss Hunter (My mom's maiden name) Shelby (Taken from a character in my Mom's favorite mini-series) Ianha (Because my "Dad" once told my Daddy he would have preferred "Ian" to the name he got.) Zachary-Mulder (My "Dad" again; he says he doesn’t want me to forget the people who loved me first). Anyway, I don't know what to expect from this: it may be good, it may be bad or it may be a little of both. All I know is it should be interesting.
Holiday Journal, Entry #2 All I wanted to do was go home and sleep through till the weekend, but, unfortunately, I knew the "adults" in my life wouldn't allow it. When Dana Scully came to pick me up from school, I knew all hope of forgetting this day was lost. She didn't push and I didn't poke into her mind, but the concern was rolling off of her. We hardly spoke as she parked the car and no eye contact was made the whole entire trip into the abyss. When we entered the black hole of lost paperwork, first thing I saw was Fox Mulder, my "dad", sitting at his desk making notes in a file. I didn't really greet him, so I guess part of the blame for the conversation and what happened were mine. I heard the almost hidden intake of breath from Dana as he took off his glasses, but I was too concerned with him looking at me like he was profiling an axe murderer. "I take it today was not one of your better days?" he asked as I gracefully plopped in a chair. "Should I expect a note from your teacher concerning your 'suspect' behavior?" What'd he take me for? Would you have told him before the letter arrived? I think not. "Let’s just say I didn’t kill anyone and leave it at that," I snapped back. Grabbing a magazine, I hid behind it. That's when he started probing. Geez, why couldn't Trini have left him in the dark about what he could do? For that matter, why was I stupid enough to help her knowing I was stuck with him until I turned 18? Dana tried to cover a giggle as she hung up my coat, but, since she does it so infrequently, it sounded like a gun going off in a convent to me. "For the record, I talked to Ms. Nancy when I picked her up and her teacher didn’t mention any demolished classrooms or similar incidents, so I'd say we’re safe for now." Great. You trash one little classroom after some creepy kid draws a crooked line down the back of your favorite outfit and you’re branded for life. "That's always good to hear." I felt him concentrating on me. "Hunter ...," "What?" Well, this sounded like the best answer at the time and I’m sure no one could have come up with a better one on such short notice. I tried to ignore him as he stood and walked to me, but he saw right through it. I could feel him knocking at my mental door yet he still spoke as he kneeled in front of me. "Stop ignoring me; I want to know what happened. Then ... *Let me help.* I couldn't stop it! Before I knew it, I had lowered the magazine and given him such a heart-breaking look guaranteed to make his heart skip a beat (Which by the way, it did; I felt it) and, before I knew it ... *I’m not normal.* It just popped out! I hadn't planned on sending anything. It was his eyes; that was it. I realize now those eyes should be declared weapons against all women. What chance did I have against them when even Dana couldn't deny them hardly anything and she's the strongest woman out there? He was confused, to say the least. *I don't understand. Just because you have special talents doesn't mean you're abnormal.* Is it just me or has he been hanging around Dare too long? *Kate says I must have come from under a rock because I've never done the things all the other kids have. She called me a freak and Kate knows everything.* A single tear rolled down my face. *I'm not a freak, am I?* Looking back, I wanted to credit myself with some really fine acting, but, I realize it had hurt me. Kate was one of the older, cool kids in the class. In my crowd, she almost walks on water. Do you know what my "dad" did then? He gathered me in his arms, 'cause he knows that’s how I feel the safest, and he whispered, "Of course, you’re not." He stood and walked back to his desk and sat. "Nobody important thinks you're a freak: not Scully, or Gram, or DA, or Trini or me. So, Kate can't know everything, right?" I know what you’re thinking, 'Where’d that come from?' He can be logical ... Well, as long as no one mentions UFOs or conspiracies or ... Never mind. I smiled just a little. *I guess not.* I then laid my head on his shoulder and sighed. *Why did I have to go to school? I liked having tutors. They were cool.* My eyes widened as I rememberedHER. *Well, the majority of them anyway.* *We all talked it over and it was decided you needed to socialize with more people and school was the best place to do that. Remember?* Where did he get this we stuff from? This decision was completely made by the "adults." I just had to grin and bear it. I tried to let him know this. *Yeah, but ...* "Excuse me," Dana interrupted. "There are others in the room who aren't blessed with your levels of communication and who are equally concerned with whatever is going on." She glared at us and I felt him stiffen. "You promised you’d keep that kind of stuff to a minimum when I’m around." He quickly took on a wounded puppy look as he turned his attention to her. "Sorry." He then shifted me to a more comfortable position and gathered his thoughts. "One of the kids made some nasty comments about the Squirt and I'm just doing some damage control." "She called her a freak?" Dana asked, outrage evident on her small frame. She is so cool. If Kate had been there then, Dana would have had her quaking, even without a gun. "Kids can be cruel; it's something she'll have to face." Yeah, I know. He failed Bedside/Lapside Manner 101. He can be so sensitive and then Whammo! Bammo! Pow!, he says something that makes you just want to zap him. "Yeah, but that's going a bit far don't you think?" She walked to us and took my hand. "Did you tell Ms. Nancy?" She watched me as I shook my head. "That's why she's there, Hunt?" Don't get any ideas; she's theonly one I allow to call me that. I tried to avoid looking at her because I knew I was about to get nailed, but I soon realized it was a lost cause and spilled my guts. “I know, but sometimes .... when she's not quite as busy with us, she ... kinda thinks I'm weird too." I got nervous, so I rushed on. "I know you told me not to read people without their permission, but ... it was just there and it didn't take any effort ... or anything. And I ...” He must have been psychic (Whoops. He is; forget I said that or better yet, pardon the pun) because he knew just when to interrupt me, "It's okay, Baby-Girl." He let out a deep breath. "We know you didn’t intentionally disobey." Just for the record, I'm still curious how you can disobey on something that is as natural as breathing, but ... I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. Anyway, I could see him trying to focus on anything other than my teacher's stray thoughts when I sensed he had latched on to something. "What does Kate believe you don't do like other kids?" I frowned. I knew it was a simple question, but I was picking up on some weird stuff from them. This probably should have been my first clue to keep quiet. "We were talking about Halloween and somehow it came out I'd never celebrated it." Somehow some nothing. I stupidly asked what trick-or-treating was? My classmates were in shock, even the older kids. All intelligent life in Selwyn Level A2 class ceased at that moment. Ms. Nancy (By the way, her first name is Zelda just so you didn't think it was some kind of retro thing) was even stunned into silence which was a miracle in and of itself. I looked over to Dana and she had this stunned expression on her face. What is it with these people? It's not like I was saying I’d never taken a bath. "Hunter, you've never dressed up and gone around the neighborhood gathering candy?" she asked. No, Dana. What neighborhood? We were surrounded by mountains; the closest city was almost a day away, not to mention I couldn't stand to be around people other than my parents. Who says the FBI and deductive reasoning don't go hand in hand? Thank goodness he saved me from smarting off or else I might have found myself on the wrong side of one of Dana's looks. Of course that meant he was on the receiving end after he replied, "Not much trick-or-treating going on in the hills of Virginia last I checked." Let's just say, if there hadn't been a knock at the door, I might have found myself an orphan again. I was so focused on them, I ignored the "feeling" I got from the area, but when the lady walked in, there was no mistaking the "buzz" I was getting. I shrank further back into his arms and hoped I wouldn't get too much of a headache. She walked over to us and stopped right in front of my "dad's" desk. In any other situation, this might have been cause for panic, but I couldn't sense any tension from them, so I relaxed. He spoke first. "You must be Dreyna." Standing, he placed me in his chair and turned back to shake her hand. "Deirdre described you pretty accurately, but she didn't come close to your beauty." He was laying the schmarm on pretty thick. Both Dana and I rolled our eyes. I will admit to a little curiosity; I couldn't figure out who she was and more importantly, what she was doing here. I tried to "read" what I could from her, but it was like she had this mental shield that I couldn't even penetrate. That made me check out her appearance a little more closely. She was not much taller than Dana, but like Dana, she had a presence that went way past height. Her eyes and her hair were jet black and her skin and features were clearly Native American. I didn't realize I was staring and holding my breath until she spoke with a voice as light as a morning mist (Bet you can't tell I want to be a writer when I grow up. That or an astronaut). "Deirdre also told me what to expect when I met you. It seems she was correct in calling you a charmer." That accent! I now want to look like Dana only with Dreyna's voice when I grow up. She sounded just like a foreign Demi Moore. It was so cool. Then she turned to me. "And this must be Hunter." The way she said that, it almost made me believe she was there for me. "You are a very special little girl. I've been waiting to meet you." I instantly returned to alert status. With the exception of Dana's mom, my Gram, nobody waited to meet me. I wanted to turn tail and run right then and there, but I was fascinated by her eyes. "Why?" I know. Curiosity killed the cat. So, call me Fluffy. "I guess because my sister has told me a lot about you and I wanted to see for myself what you were about." She smiled. "That and your dad asked me to make something for you." As soon as she said that, I got this nauseous feeling and all I could picture was a dress made out of the same stuff as his ties. I could see he was getting excited when he turned back to me. "When Dreyna heard about you, she offered to do one of her specials." Special what? It was probably worse than even I could imagine, and believe me, when you can get into other people's minds, you can imagine some pretty rough stuff. Luckily for me, I had Dana in her "spare-the-child" mode. "Don't you think you should let Hunter in on this. I can see that mind working over-time with all sorts of horrible possibilities." She laughed. "She does know your taste and she is very afraid." I suppose he listened to her or he felt his game was getting tired because he looked sheepish and nearly jumped to explain. "Dreyna is world-renowned for her masks. She's even done work in Hollywood and Broadway." What is it with "adults" and Broadway? Like I'm impressed. It thrills me about as much as what goes on in a place like ... like ... Vancouver. Anyway, he looked like he was about to burst with excitement, so I humored him and plastered my innocent curiosity face on. "I knew this would be your first Halloween, so Scully and I wanted to make it special. We asked Agent Manzu if she would contact her sister for us and she did." "And here I am waiting to give to you my gift." Was she for real? I just stared at her not sure of what I should do next. *It's okay, Baby-Girl. You know I wouldn't give you something that would hurt you.* Then, for Scully's benefit. "I thought we could go out trick-or-treating and then head on over to your school for the carnival. Maybe even flaunt your humongous candy stash that you're going to get with this mask in front of Kate." Tell me, how can a grown man look as excited as the boys in my class? It was like someone had made him ten again. I could feel all of their eyes on me, especially Dreyna's, so, I stood and walked around the desk. Dreyna reached into the tent she probably considered a bag and pulled out a square box, almost as big as a hat box but not quite as deep. She offered it to me and I hesitantly (I think, in this case, - very hesitantly - would fit) took it and laid it on the desk. I could feel his excitement, Dreyna's acceptance and Dana's amusement as I lifted the lid like it was attached to a bomb. I didn't know if my sigh was one of relief when it didn't explode or one of frustration when I found "it" was covered in tissue paper. I took a deep breath and started moving the paper until I saw what could only be described as the most beautiful mask I had ever seen. "Wow," I whispered as I gently took it out of its box. "This is ... so ..." What could I say? I mean, it was just that ... great. If there was a better way to describe it, I would have used it but there just wasn't. All I could do was stare at it. This is probably not making any sense but I hope it's showing how confused I was. Dana says if you don't understand something, you should distance yourself and analyze what you're seeing. So, I kind of mentally took a step back and started checking it out. The first thing I noticed was how it felt. The mask was like skin, but it was too soft. It seemed butterfly-wings delicate and tempered-steel strong at the same time, which made no sense. The cheeks had painted designs on them and the forehead had a few tiny black dots starting on the left side and moving into several larger dots then moving to right above the right eye-hole and merging to become a black shield for that eye. That was pretty dramatic by itself, but ... the expression ... that was what made the mask unforgettable. The expression was wonderful! Not wonderful as in fantastic, but wonderful as in full of wonder. It was like looking at a kid his first time at Disney World. My "dad" looked like he was about to burst and Dana had this smug look on her face. I suddenly felt like I had to look at Dreyna and what I saw in her eyes almost made me take a step back. "I hope you like it," she said. "It took me forever to come up with a design suitable for you." She moved closer to me. "Once my mind settled on this one, I just knew it would open your eyes to a whole new world." I tried to convince myself she was just talking about the mask making my first Halloween better, but a little voice inside me told me to get ready because something was about to happen. Holiday Journal, Entry #3 I know this is early for me to willingly turn in for bed, but I couldn't help it. Ever since we left the office and Dreyna, I'd been wanting to try on the mask, but I haven't had the chance. I know they were wondering why I was so jittery during dinner. I don't think I answered half of their questions, but hopefully they just chalked it up to a reeeeeallly bad day. As I moved closer to my room, I felt none of the usual excitement I get when I get close to it. Gram and I spent days decorating it the way I wanted. I always got a thrill when I'd open the door and see my own special hide-away. Two of my walls were painted to show the planets and tons of glow-in-the-dark stars. My third and fourth walls faded into an earth scene complete with blue skies, a rainbow and flowered covered hills. All of my accessories fit with whatever wall they were next to (Do you know how hard it is to find a dresser that can work with a space shot?). Usually, by the time I was ready to enter, I'd be excited about what adventures I could act out against those walls. That night, all I could feel was dread. My agitation seemed to multiply the longer I was in my room. As strange as it may seem, it was like there was something calling me. Like it was calling me. I walked from one end of my room to the other and the calls kept getting louder. Finally, I just gave into it. I walked over to my bed and flung the top off of the box. As I started moving the tissue paper, my heart felt like it was pounding out of my chest and my ears were ringing. I wanted to cry out but all of my strength and energies were focused on the hidden mask. When my fingers finally touched the smooth skin of the mask and lifted it out of the box, .... the feelings passed. My heartbeat was regular and the ringing was gone. Looking back now, I know I should have run straight to them and told them what had happened, but, then, all I could hear was the whisper of the mask. I sat down and ran my fingers over the dots and could almost feel them as they flowed into the larger patch. I turned it over and took a deep breath. I don't know what I expected, but as I put it to my face ... For a minute, the room wavered in front of me. As I waited for the dizziness to pass, I couldn't shake the feelings of belonging to another life. But, that's ridiculous ... This is my life; it has been for the last three years. With the deaths of the ones who gave me life, I have been here. My metal suite has finally become home which is how it should be considering I will be here until the end of my existence. When I first arrived, I saw only a cell, but that was before the Determiners (The Earth-Bounders who oversee us) allowed me personal items to improve it. Unlike most of the others, I was granted an individualized space that had its own front room, bedroom and bath. I don't think I would have done as well if I had been categorized as a drone and made to live in the "hive" existence. My small suite made up of various shades of gray and an occasional tiny splash of color and containing the barest essentials of life - a bed, a table with chairs, a monitor - was my only solace when the tests became unbearable. Maybe someday I would rise to the ranks of Arrivelate (The Tenders of those like me and assistants to the Determiners) and be allowed to pick my area of containment. My Arrivelate has told me stories of when she attained her status and was able to come here and live among the Determiners - on the lower level of their tier, but still a larger space more suited for comfort. Comfort? I never thought I would apply that word to anything here. Comfort is seldom sought; existence and achievement of final results are all that is acceptable. Nothing else is important. *That's a rather bleak way of looking at this place.* Quietly echoed through my mind. It didn't startle me; I recognized it as the voice of my Arrivelate or at least how her mind-voice sounded. Speech is below us and used only by the Servers and Drones. *What in the heavens are you doing, Convertant, and why?* *Where are you?* I answered back. *Am I being monitored outside of the schedule you gave me?* *Of course not. They live by their schedules and hardly ever deviate.* I breathed a sigh of relief. I hate being monitored because I can't use my ... *I wouldn’t finish that if I were you. All it would take would be some over-eager Arrivelate wanting to move up to first status to be monitoring your cell off-schedule and all of our hard work would be for nothing.* *I know. You've said that before. Why do you think I take such care not to use my gifts or speak of them? I know what would happen to me if they thought I knew.* *More than likely you'd become like me.* I heard the soft chime the recognition system makes whenever my care givers approached my door. In no more than a second, she was in my room and staring at me sitting at my gray table with a pen in hand and a pad of paper in front of me. *What are you doing?* From anyone else, I would have feared my status; creativity is not encouraged here. But, my Arrivelate was different from the others. She was more like me in thoughts and understood my need to keep parts of myself away from Them; I think it had a lot to do with how we were taken. Without Their knowledge, she encouraged me to hide what I knew of my talents and she often overlooked my failure to complete the mental exercises required by the Determiners. *Just writing in my journal. I hadn't felt up to starting one, but I thought it was something I needed to do.* *And do you believe anyone else will ever see it?* *Of course not, but it does help after the tests.* I could feel my eyebrow raise as I watched her. *So, what brings you down to the Convertant level? Should I be worried about my next testing phase being moved up?* *Nothing like that.* I noticed how intently her hazel eyes watched me. I knew she was worried about something when she tucked her long brown hair behind her ears and set up her impenetrable mind-walls. *They’ve decided to put back your next phase for a while. Your reactions to the last one concerned them, so they're granting you a vacation of sorts.* Though my mind had been advanced well beyond my twelve years, the child in me leapt at the thought of postponing that particular Hell for some quiet time, and maybe a brief jaunt to one of the other processing centers. Even with visions of visiting the North Atlantic Center dancing in my head, I couldn't stop myself from asking, *Then why are you here?* She moved quickly, as only those who have lived a long time in this atmosphere can, and sat down across from me. *You're getting a neighbor.* *What?* She couldn't have said what I thought she had. This section of quarters had only contained me since I had been transferred to this Center two years ago. *Why?* *It would seem the Determiners have found another like you and since this block has met your needs, it only seems natural They should put her here.* I tried to break through her walls, but she'd had over twenty-five years to perfect them. *Is she a spy sent to trip me up?* She smiled a real smile at that. I was almost afraid. For as long as she had been my Arrivelate, I had never seen one like that before. I was terrified They had sent a Server to trick me. When she didn't morph, I realized that for the first time I was seeing a genuine emotion from her. *No, she's not a spy. She's in the same situation as you.* She stood and walked over to my monitor and activated one of my music programs. Though no music blasted from any speakers, our minds were filled with the beauty of Vivaldi and his "Four Seasons." I knew something important was coming and I wasn't disappointed. *Her parents took it upon themselves to perform experiments with the Travelers DNA. They produced her and now the Travelers have decided They want her for further study and as a possible addition to the program. She's been kept at the New Zealand Center since They acquired her from her misguided parents three months ago. The Determiners feel she is ready to begin the testing here.* She took a deep breath and stared at me in such a way I felt she was seeing into my soul. *She cannot be allowed to develop in the way They want.* She paused. *I cannot work with her the way I did with you. It is possible I may be up for a Determiner place and so all factions are watching me closely. I would like for you to teach her of our ways - and, to warn her.* *No!* I mind-yelled. *If They were to catch me, I would be killed or worse. At the very least, They would force me to acknowledge my gifts and move me to the next level. You said we had to avoid that at all costs.* *You don't have to tell me what I said; I know probably better than anyone here. I was hoping you wouldn't want her to learn Their ways and place Them one mind closer to Their ultimate goal. I suppose I was wrong about that.* She turned to leave, and, of course I felt all of her disappointment in me. *Wait!* I refused to look at her for fear she would see how easy I was to manipulate. *How long would we be monitored each day?* She smiled another of her genuine smiles. Oh, yes, she already knew she had me. * You wouldn't be monitored at all. Remember, she would be a level seven Convertant, not past her first testing phase, and you are off rotation, so monitoring would not be required. You could start her on her first day and have her prepared by her first rotation.* She quietly moved to me and placed her hand on my shoulder which shocked me even more. Touch, unless experimental in nature, was not done. She knew I would do it now. *It would mean the guarantee of our success and their failure. You couldn't deny that.* I thought about what I would be agreeing to do. The Earth-bounds had a word for it - treason. I would be committing high treason against the Travelers by teaching the new girl how not to use her gifts. If I were caught, they could either kill me or hurt me in such a way I would be forced to use my talents to stop them. From there, they would have my soul and I would be an Arrivelate forced to do to others what had been done to me and ultimately, I would help fulfill their goal. But, that would only happen if I were caught. *Of course I couldn't.* I sighed in acceptance. *Well, should I perform the same initiation ritual for her that you did for me?* I grinned in spite of myself. She smirked as our first meeting replayed in exact detail in her mind; I could feel the remnants of her memory which prompted my own recall. Having eidetic memories was another bonus of being what we were. *If she'll allow you to. From what I understand, she's a feisty one and quite mind-strong in her own right. But, of course, you wouldn't understand that, now would you.* She suddenly sobered. *I can't tell you how important it is you teach her well and stress to her the non-use of her abilities. She must know she can never just slip up or they will know she's aware of what she can do. Up until now, she has been safe; she hasn't used more than her telepathy in Their presence, but anything more could prove disastrous. Promise me you will do your best in teaching her.* *I promise.* And I meant it even though my conscious mind wouldn't allow me to forget the possible consequences. *So, who is she?* *She is Suzannah Blake William born to Dr. Allan William and Dr. Mildred K. "Micki" Scott noted geneticists of Auckland, New Zealand. She's your age and has all of the same noted abilities as you and it is suspected that she has several more. Her parents were American citizens and raised her in true fashion: she believes she knows everything and if she doesn't know something, she will learn. She'll probably be quite frightened, though she'll try to hide it, since the "acquisition" was rather harsh and she witnessed it.* I understood what she was trying not to say. Unlike her own acquisition, mine had been equally as harsh. My birth "parents" had not wanted to release me as well, but the Determiners had triumphed and they were lost. Of course, my Arrivelate knew this and I suspect that is why she wanted me to do this. *Will we be allowed to see each other?* *What a silly question. Of course you won't; Convertants never associate with each other. Physically, the rule would still apply concerning no contact, but mentally, you both are more than capable of sending your images to one another.* I waited for the warning that I knew was coming; I didn't have to wait long. *You must be very careful that no one else knows what you are doing. Is that clear?* I nodded and watched as she moved to the door. For some reason, I stepped forward as if needing her touch again for reassurance that what we were about to do was right. Before I was aware of what I was doing or before I could recognize why to call her back, I mind-yelled, *Samantha!* She turned so quickly I almost missed it, but the mind-slap was unmistakable - it hurt just as much as a physical one. When my eyes could focus on her again, I saw her standing at the door with a look of almost pure hatred directed at me. I stepped back in fear. *Don't ever use that Earth-bounds name for me again! I no longer recognize it nor is it acceptable here. Do not call me anything other than Arrivelate I or else I will do more harm to you than the Determiners and Travelers ever could.* And with that, she left. I was subdued the rest of that day. DateStamp: 126591 It has been several days, almost weeks, since I last added notes to this. I have been very busy dealing with the new Convertant that I have not had time. Or maybe it would be more appropriate to say I have been rather busy not dealing with the new Convertant. She has been on this block for nearly five days and she has not responded to my greetings at all. I hear her crying and try to reach out to her, but she refuses to answer. I have tried to talk to her in twelve different languages, but she has ignored them all. It is very frustrating and I wish that I could talk to my Arrivelate to see what she would suggest, but she has not returned to my cell since that day. Though, I am not sure if I am upset because of this or relieved; our parting was not a good one. I know she checks for progress on her daily visits to the girl's cell. She stays just long enough so that if the Determiners are keeping up with her, they'll believe she is teaching the new girl. Her job is easy; mine will probably get me killed ... or worse. I suppose now would be as good a time as any to try again. I prepare myself by taking deep breaths and fo... *Why do you do that every time you want to speak to me?* I jump as the words fill my mind from nowhere. I begin to wonder if maybe my Arrivelate was wrong and they are monitoring me - have been monitoring me for the entire time and that it was all an elaborate set-up to bring me ov... *God! You're paranoid! Do you really believe all of that? If you do, I'm not sure I want to talk to you.* Talk to me? I don't remember ever hearing that mind-voice before. Who ...? And then it hits me. *Hello. You must be Suzannah Blake William.* *Took you long enough to figure that one out, Sherlock. Who else would be playing in your head?* *You'd be surprised. How are you today?* I felt her mind-sigh as she answered. *Oooh, aren't we veddy polite. Two can play at that game. I'm fine, and you?* *I am well, thank you.* I quickly erected a few one-sided mental walls so that she couldn't read me as easily and proceeded to begin my orientation of her. *So, what do you think of here?* *Why'd you do that?* *Do what?* *Why'd you block yourself off from me? What don't you want me to see?* I could tell by the intensity of the questions she was beginning to panic, so I lowered my walls. *I'm sorry. I didn't know it would bother you that much.* I paused to let that sink in and then started my work. *But, here, because we only communicate with our minds, it's the only way to guarantee some privacy. It doesn't work against the Travelers, of course, because they are way beyond us, but ...* *Who are the Travelers?* I sighed. I am only human and I do hate being constantly interrupted. *Do you always ask so many questions?* *Always. It's my gift. Which brings me to, who are you?* *I am Convertant, Level III.* *What the devil is that? Sounds like a disease.* I could feel my frustration increasing and my anger growing. *It is not a disease; it is what I am called here.* *Yeah, but what do normal people call you?* Counting to ten proved fruitless, but I did manage to answer her coherently and calmly. *That is not how we do things here. In time you will become use to ....* *Look, Kid. Either you tell me your NAME or this conversation is over and I start yelling to the Towellettes or whatever the bloody heck they are about your attitude!* *Fine!* I mind-yelled. *My Earth-bounds name was Hunter Zachary and They are the Travelers.* I tried to maintain the control I had learned over the years but it was a lost cause. *And you are a brat!* *Like someone with the name of Hunter can talk. What was your mother thinking?* That did it. *I don't know what my mother was thinking but your mother should have thought long and hard before she decided to thrust you on the rest of the universe. Being a geneticist, you would think she'd have taken into account the waste of good DNA - human and Travelers!* I felt her gasp and the slight tickling across by consciousness that represents a person at slow burn. I knew she was gearing up for something big, but what I got totally threw me for a loop. *Well, you killed Bambi's mother!* For a while, silence reigned in both our rooms. I was beyond confusion. What she said made no sense. So, I confronted her. *I don't understand. Why would I kill one of our best hybrids and well-respected entomologist's mother?* *Now, I don't understand, but I'll trust you on this.* She sighed and I could tell she was trying to take in her surroundings. *This place really isn't much, is it? What exactly is all of this and why am I here?* Finally, we were getting somewhere.
Datestamp: 126092 We have been at this for weeks. I feel that Suzannah Blake will be as prepared for her first testing phase as anyone can be for those. I have found her to be a wonderful and fun companion and she has been almost enthusiastic with learning the ways of the Center as well as my and my Arrivelate's beliefs. During our last session, we sent images of ourselves to each other and we played a few mind-games. I am amazed at how well we have taken to each other in spite of our initial meeting. Hopefully, the Determiners will allow us to stay on the same block; it would make things so much easier ... and fun. My time here is starting to look better. *You shouldn't say such nice things about me; it might turn my head.* *You're probably right. Your head is big enough as it is.* I quickly shot back. This was our usual type of greeting. In the time we had spent together, I had learned a lot as well. *So, S.B., what'll we do tonight?* *Same thing we do every night, Hunter, try to take over the universe.* At first, I didn't understand half of the references she made; she still hadn't completely explained the correlation of me, Dr. Berenbaum's mother and a killing. But, slowly, she had helped me until I felt comfortable with this type of banter. *I notice you record a lot of what we do. Why? Plan on sending letters back home?* *No. This is home for me ... and you as well. These notes help keep me balanced, especially after the tests. You know, you should probably try this; it might help.* *I wouldn't know how to begin. Plus, I hate writing.* I'm sure she felt my exasperated sigh. *You're forgetting; we're far more advanced here than the Earth-bounds. I write because I like how it soothes me. If I wanted a different way, all I'd have to do is access my monitor and it could record my thoughts and actions in a journal-type method. Understand?* *So, what you're trying to say is we're not in Kansas anymore, Hunter.* *If that's a reference to the Wizard of Odz, then, yes, that's exactly what I'm trying to say.* *Gotcha! And it's Oz, not Odz. You really did grow up in the hills of nowhere.* I could sense her curiosity at the thought of working on her monitor. For the most part, she had avoided it like it had the pledge. *That's plague. Sheesh! But you are right; I am intrigued with what that monitor can do.* *Then why don't you try it out. Worst thing that can happen is you're actually good at it.* *Thanks a lot!* She began to look around her cell. *Where is the dratted thing?* I thought for a moment. When we first arrive, most of our things are placed in little compartments around the cell until we use them and place them where we want. I was trying to remember where I had found mine all those months ago. *Try looking in the far right compartment.* I sent back. *That's where mine was when I first arrived.* *And how long ago was that?* I could almost picture her turning her head in that direction. *You expect me to walk way over there just to get a stupid monitor? I'm not that interested.* *No, you're just too lazy.* I could feel her rebellious streak rising to the challenge, but before I could warn her to control herself I felt her drawing the monitor with her mind. *I'll show you laziness!* Suddenly, it became as quiet as a tomb on our block. I knew what she had done and I also knew she had been watched doing it. *Stop whatever you're doing Suzannah Blake!* *What? Why?* Just as quickly, her confusion jumped straight into fear. *What's that noise? What's happening, Hunter?* I,too, had heard the sounds, but, unlike Suzannah Blake, I knew what they meant. *They're coming for you.* I couldn't help it; I was angry. *I told you not to use your powers. I told you!* *I'msorryi'msorryi'msorry ...* Kept repeating over our link and I could feel her tears beginning to surface. I ran to my door when the link was abruptly severed. I don't know what possessed me, but I began to pound on the door screaming with my full voice, "Leave her alone! You can't have her! Noooooo!" I kept repeating this until the door disappeared and I found myself in the corridor facing a large group of people. My Arrivelate was there as well as several Servers I recognized and a few others I didn't. I could see two men in the background dressed in the traditional red of the Determiners and in the middle of all of this was a girl, crying as two of the servers held her. Suzannah Blake! An Arrivelate male, Class I walked over to me. *Why were you yelling? How did you know what was happening? Have you been conversing with the new Convertant?* I was too stunned to answer and so I just stared at him. I tried to catch my Arrivelate's eye but it was then I noticed her uniform color had changed and she, too, was in the red. She would be no help. She was a Determiner. *Did you hear me? I expect an answer!* My head hurt as he yelled in my mind and I noticed the others all wince; he wasn't shielding. "Leave her alone. She didn't do anything." All eyes turned toward Suzannah Blake as she spoke, "I tried to talk to her, but she couldn't do it. I think she's stupid or something." I could see him growing angrier as she continued to use her voice. I believe she knew what she was doing as she drew his attention from me, even though I couldn't read her. *You will not speak to me like that. You will ... * His tirade was abruptly cut off as my Arrive ... the new Determiner moved closer. *There is no need for your heavy-handedness; we have what we sought.* I watched her as she barely angled her head at the other Determiners. They returned the gesture and left. She must have communicated with the Arrivelate because his face took on a look of fear and he quickly followed the others. I could feel the power of her new shielding as she blocked out the Servers and talked only to us. *In some ways, we have failed, but in others we have succeeded well beyond what we could have hoped.* *But they're going to take her away!* I didn't want to hear platitudes. *You can stop this! You're one of them now. Tell Them you don't need her.* *There's only so much I can do even in this position. It's too late to stop her processing, but it's not too late to stop yours.* She mind-spoke to the Servers and they moved away from our cells. *I can only give you a few moments. Make the most of it.* I couldn't meet Suzannah Blake's eyes. I felt I had failed her. *I'm sorry.* The look on her face had changed as soon as the Arrivelate had left. No longer was she the tough Convertant facing off the mean Arrivelate. Now, she was just a little girl terrified of what awaited her. *I never thought they were really watching. I just wanted the monitor!* She was growing frantic. *You said they wouldn't be watching!* There was nothing I could say to help her and I think, deep down, she knew. I saw the Servers returning and my panic started to rise. I suddenly couldn't deal with the loss of my friend and threw my arms around her. We both started to cry and then the Servers were on us. They tried to pull us apart, but we held each other tighter. It was only as we felt our arms nearly being pulled out of socket that we allowed them to pull us apart. The male Arrivelate had returned and he grabbed my arms. My screams, ineffectual in my mind, suddenly sprang out of my mouth and they were soon echoed by Suzannah Blake's. As I struggled, I could feel him growing angry. I chose to ignore this as I tried to break away and help my friend, but soon that choice was taken away from me. With his left hand, I felt him touching my forehead and the darkness of sleep descending on my mind. I knew it wouldn't be long before I was unconscious and I counted on the Arrivelate believing he had me incapacitated. When his hold loosened, I used my last bit of strength and jerked away from him and headed in the direction they had gone. I saw them turn to enter the long corridor and I followed. I was almost to them when I felt what could only be described as fire inside of my skull. The pain was intense and kept growing the closer I got. I saw them turn the last corner and somehow I managed to reach it ... only to run into a solid wall. The impact knocked me off of my feet and my last conscious thought echoed through everyone's minds as well as the halls, "*NO!*"
After he had assured himself that no one was going to jump out at us, he relaxed enough to lower the gun and come over to me. All I could do was stare at him through my tears and try to breathe. He summed up my condition in a glance and headed to the tiny refrigerator Trini and Keemo had given me and pulled out my water bottle. As he walked toward me, he sent calming feelings and words over our link. He handed me the water and sat beside me drawing me into his arms. "Bad dreams, Baby Girl?" I still couldn't find my voice after that scream, so I simply nodded and drank my water. "You wanna talk about it?" I shook my head. It had felt so real. There was no way I could explain what I had seen (been a part of?). As much as he would try to understand, he wouldn't be able to; he was like that - only truly believing if he experienced it himself. I looked around trying to figure out what was missing and then it hit me. "Where's Dana?" I asked with a gravelly voice. I could feel his smile from deep within, "She went home. Contrary to what you and everyone else believes, she does have her own place." Yeah, right. Who's deluding himself? If that were true, why did he let Dana decorate the third bedroom any way she wanted. The man was practically throwing us at her and she wasn't dodging. Gram and I had some pretty major talks about this subject and they still didn't have a clue. "Besides, she's going to be spending most of tomorrow with us." See what I mean. Clue-less! I yawned then. Being catapulted into another universe can sure tire you out. "I think I'd better get ready for bed. Tomorrow's a big day." One that I was not looking forward to, thank you very much! There was no way I was going to wear that mask, not even if aliens came to earth and threatened to destroy half the world if I didn't wear the thing! There was something strange about that mask and I wasn't taking any more chances. He stood and headed for the door. About halfway there, I saw him stop and bend to pick something up. "Hunter, what's this doing on the floor?" He turned back to me and held out the mask. Again, all I could do was stare at the ... Wait a minute! Something even stranger was going on here. "After all the trouble Dreyna went to to to have this ready for Halloween, the least you could do is take better care of it." He put the mask on my bed and then headed back to the door. "Put that away and then lights out in twenty." At first, I didn't notice he had left and when it did finally register, I was way beyond caring. I bolted away from the bed and the mask and headed into my bathroom. I took as long as I could in there but you can only take so long putting on pajamas, even the ones with the feet in them. When I finished, I took a deep breath and headed back into my room. The mask was still there and, ... it was still different. Gone were the dots and the shield and in it's place was glitter and gold and pixie designs. I guess the best way to describe it was where the before mask was darkness, this one was light. Gosh, did I write that? Now the stupid thing is making me corny. I continued to stare at it until I realized I wasn't alone. He stood at my door watching me stare at the mask. I could feel his puzzlement, but I was having problems dealing with my own. The mask was completely different! I closed my eyes hoping that it would be back to the way it had been but when I opened them, it was the same. "Hunter, is something wrong?" "The mask ... it's different." He came back to the bed and took the mask out of my hands. He turned it this way and that and ran his hand all over it. "I don't see anything different. It looks the same as when Dreyna gave it to you." Then he turned that look on me. "Why? Does it look different to you?" I shrugged. I didn't need him going into his psychologist mode when I knew I was going to need as much sleep as possible after this night. Then again, that would be a sure fire way to ensure I would get to sleep. He sat back down and smoothed my hair out of my face. "I think you're just having residual feelings from the nightmare." Here we go. Dr. Mulder to the rescue! "I think you just need to get a good night's sleep." He moved the mask to my nightstand and helped me get arranged in bed. After I was settled, he looked down at me for a long time. Then he brushed that curl that wouldn't stay in place away from my face and hugged me. "I hope the rest of your dreams are filled with all of the happiness you can squeeze in to them." At that particular moment, and probably never again, I had no snappy zinger. So, I hit him with the last thing he would expect. "I love you, Daddy." His eyes lit up and he had one of those "million dollar smiles that reach past his eyes and go straight into his soul" or at least that's how Dana describes it. I knew He was mine to do whatever with, but I was happy with what he did give me. "I love you, too, Baby-Girl." He kissed my forehead. "Now get some sleep." He left and despite all the stuff with the mask and the "dream", I was okay and fell into a deep sleep. Holiday Journal, Entry #4 Today has been great! I woke up bright and early and tried on the mask. And guess what. Nothing happened! I still haven't figured out whether or not it was all a dream. I don't know if I'll ever find out, but that'll be a mystery for another year. For now, I have a carnival to enjoy. Everyone loved my costume and my mask made me the perfect pixie princess (Try saying that five times really fast). Dana was dressed as an Old West gunslinger. I could tell my dad was impressed with how she handled her guns; his eyes rarely left her holster. Now, his costume had been a complete surprise. He had hidden it from both of us, so when we finally saw him in those tights, we were in awe. Superman may have redefined the meaning of tights, but Robin Hood set the market for them and Fox Mulder definitely made a hot Robin. His eyes weren't the only ones I caught straying. As the Carnival was coming to an end, I "accidentally" dropped my stash in front of Kate and I couldn't help but notice how she "paled" in comparison. Oh, yes, this Halloween was turning out to be perfect. We were heading out to the car with me in front when I turned a corner and ran straight into another girl. She was about my height and my age with long dark hair and sparkling eyes. After both of our families helped us up, we really took a long look at each other. I couldn't figure out why she seemed so familiar. Against my dad's wishes, I started to "read" her until she spoke. "So, Brain, now that we've run all over each other, what should we do tomorrow night?" The sparkle returned to my eyes as I suddenly knew. She winked at me and smiled and I responded in the only way I could, "Same thing we do every night, Pinky, try to take over the universe!" And as our parents watched in complete confusion, Suzannah Blake and I renewed our friendship that started a long way from here. The End!
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