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Title: Giving Everything They Have To Give Summary: Is Mulder too late to show Scully how much he really does care? And can she prove to him where he fits in? Dedication: To everybody at Crystalship - I'm still ill, but hope to be back as soon as possible! (*fingers tightly crossed*) AUTHOR'S NOTE: OK, so just for now, let's pretend Mulder was taken in late Spring - as insisted in 'The Gift' - and completely forget seasonal time frames/dates depicted in other episodes (eg. 'Redrum' and the snow in 'DeadAlive'), setting this only a few weeks before Scully's due to give birth. Mulder fingered the card doubtfully, having just written his message in it, and then slipped it into its envelope. He'd been a complete asshole to her since he'd gotten back from his abduction and 'death', but he had to let her know what she meant to him - how much their relationship meant to him - and if there was ever the best time to do that, it was today: Valentine's Day. He'd called Scully earlier to see if they could meet, but the machine had picked up and he'd had to leave a message to let her know he'd be home all day and would be grateful if she could drop him a line as soon as she got home. His phone hadn't rung all day. Nobody had visited his apartment all day. Of course, there was probably the simplest explanation for her not getting back to him - her mother could be ill, or she could be tied up with a case - but as the clock on his desk hit 5:30, the wait became unbearable. *She's finally given up on you, you sad bastard,* his mind screamed at him. *She searched for you, mourned for you, for so long, and then you just threw it all back in her face!* 'I prayed a lot, and my prayers have been answered.' 'In more ways than one.' Too much time had been wasted already. He leapt to his feet snatching up the card and wrapped gift - and quickly left the claustrophobic apartment that had, a lifetime ago, been his home. Dana Scully was just snatching up her car keys when there was the quiet rap on the door. She frowned, and approached the door hesitantly. Her mum was visiting Bill in San Diego, and she'd told Doggett she wanted some personal time and would therefore not be available to assist on any case etc. for the next week, so they were ruled out. The only other person she'd hoped would sooner or later come knocking had left her message on her machine to say he was staying in... When she opened the door to see Mulder standing with his head slightly lowered and something stashed under his arm, her confusion only increased. "Mulder?" she started, cautiously, as his head snapped up to look at her. "I...uh...I was just coming over....I got your message..." He bit down on his lower lip as he considered what to say, before silently handing over the gift and card from under his right arm. "I just wanted to bring these round to you." She took them from his grasp and eyed them before staring back at him. "I'll let you get back to whatever you were doing." He sighed and his shoulders dropped as he reluctantly turned to leave. Unexpectedly, though, one of her hands quickly outstretched to grab the sleeve of his jacket. "Don't you want to come in?" Dana almost whispered - unable to clear the lump of emotion blocking her throat. It was his turn to frown, and he regarded her as if silently asking 'after all I've said and not said, you don't mind being in the same room as me?' Reading his expression, her face softened, and the first smile she'd felt lift her cheeks since his eyes had opened two weeks ago gave him the answer he'd hoped for. He was forgiven. "It was just a regular check-up," Scully assured, handing him a cup of tea before uneasily lowering her heavily-pregnant body onto the couch beside him. "It took a little longer than normal, though. I thought I told you about it?" Mulder gave an imperceptible nod of his head, but kept his eyes focused on the steamy drink as he quietly replied, "I--...You might have...I just haven't been registering things too well since--..." Truth be told he wanted to know everything about the baby she was carrying - about everything he'd missed in his absence - but he was too scared to ask...too scared to learn how much life really had gone on without him. "I--..." Scully paused and smoothed a hand over her abdomen. What would it take to make him realize that he did fit in, here with her and their unborn child? How many times did she need to tell him that she needed him to live? She sighed in slight defeat, and then leaned forward to pluck the card off of the coffee table. "What is this, anyway?" she queried, changing the subject (at least for the time being). "Oh, uh...You might want me to go before you open that..." She stared at him curiously, with that same old raised eyebrow he remembered so well firmly in place, for a minute before shaking her head and opening the envelope. When she saw the hearts and bears and 'HAPPY VALENTINE'S TO SOMEONE SPECIAL!' inscription printed on the front of the card, she had to practically fight against her emotions to stop the tears from escaping her eyes. His scrawled message inside made her lose the battle altogether. 'To the only woman in the universe that deserves to be loved or even be sent a Valentine's card - Scully. I know I've been a complete ass since I got back, but you've still stood by me and covered my back as ever. There's so much I need to say and need to do to show you how much you mean to me - certainly much more than I'll ever be able to put into words, let alone fit in this card - but I have to tell you now that you're the one person that's always breathed life into me, and given me a reason to fight. If it weren't for you, I would have been dead long ago with no chance of coming back. I consider what we have to be a miracle against all the odds outside parties have thrown at us, and you've certainly given me the faith to never give up on miracles...you've given me so much, but there's one more thing I need to ask of you: please don't give up on me. I swear, I'm trying to be the person you once knew, but I don't know if I can find him. Please give me time. Please be, if not my Valentine, then my friend? Love always and forever, M.' She finished reading and her tear-stained face turned to look at him. "I was sitting in my apartment today, waiting for you to call, and I felt so closed in," he started quietly, not breaking eyecontact. "It's how I've been feeling since I returned - as if I don't belong there...Fox Mulder stopped living there the day he left his partner behind to go chasing invisible spaceships in Oregon... And yet--..." He paused and coughed to clear his suddenly dry throat. "Sitting here, with you...I don't know what happened while I was gone - if you moved on--...." His gaze briefly flicked down toward her swollen belly. "And...and that's none of my business, I know, but...but here, I really do feel..." Gulp. "I feel like I've come home..." There was silence for several moments as Dana just stared at him, unable to string together a sentence due to the emotion overwhelming her, before the card finally slipped from her grasp and she raised both hands to cup his face in them. "No matter what you may think, or what your traumatized brain is telling you to believe, this has always been, and always will be your home," she choked out. "Every waking second after you were abducted, I prayed for your safe return...When--..." The memory of him lying in that coffin - scarred and broken and seemingly lost forever - was too much, and she needed to pause, but he nodded his head to let her know he understood when she was referring to. "The only thing keeping me alive was our child...With you gone it was the only thing I had to fight for." He tensed at her words, and the frown returned. 'Our child?' "Wha--" "Our child was the only thing helping me to hold on," she repeated. There it was again. The frown deepened. "Why do you keep saying 'our child'?" he suddenly asked, becoming frustrated. His memory may be a little foggy, but the pain of the failed IVF attempts was still very deeply etched in his brain - on his heart - and he couldn't believe she was daring to toy with his emotions like this. Somebody else had clearly helped her get in the current condition she was in, so why was she bothering to lie? "Well, who else's do you think it is?" she almost snapped back, letting her hands drop away from her face. "I didn't get this way on my own! There are miracles, and then there are Miracles!" "But the in-vitro failed..." "So, because Science didn't deliver a solution, you think I got lucky elsewhere?" Now she was really ready to slap him across the face. "Whatever happened to 'never give up on a miracle', Mulder? Since when did you put so much faith in Science?" Silence. "I've asked myself so many questions regarding the hows and whys," she continued, calming slightly. "But there's only one answer I care about: that we did it the old-fashioned way, like 'normal' people." He blinked, but remained quiet. "You are the most frustrating and challenging man I've ever known, but I've stuck with you for eight years because I wanted to... because I *love* you. You really believe the second your back's turned I'd run off with someone else? Whatever happened to 'you're the only one I trust'? I can't--...I collapsed again while you were in Oregon with Skinner, and the Gunmen had to rush me to the hospital. That was when I found out I was pregnant - *before* you were abducted." "We--...We did it?" he rasped out. Finally, her hands lifted again to touch his face, but this time his raised also to cover them. She smiled and entwined her fingers with his before lowering them to rest on the crest of her abdomen. "*We* did. As for you being an ass...I understand - I do - but you need to remember that I'm here for you....to listen to you whenever you need to talk. I can't let this grind us down, Mulder. I won't. There's more than my heart at stake this time." Mulder nodded his head and then leaned forward to rest his ear against her stomach. As if sensing its father's presence, the baby gave a hearty kick at its mother's insides, and both them smiled with pride. "Our child..." "I'll be your Valentine, if you'll be mine," she beamed. "Always. No question." "Well, you'll just have to put up with me as more than your friend then." "That's just as well, 'cos I reserved a table for us at that new restaurant downtown," Mulder laughed, looking back up at her. She glanced away toward the wrapped box still sitting on her coffee table. "I thought that was my present?" "Well, it is, and it isn't," came his cryptic reply. "It's kinda for all of us. The meal was...I've missed you so much, but we haven't been able to spend any decent time together since my little resurrection trick. I thought it would be a good place to start..." The familiar glint was in his eye as she turned back, and her forehead rested against his as she whispered, "*There* you are... I thought I'd lost you forever!" "Happy Valentine's Day, Scully." "Yes, it definitely is." Restaurants or wrapped packages didn't really matter in the end they'd given each other something far more precious: themselves. THE END 'If there's anymore living to live You'll just have to let your own imaginations run riot on that one
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