Title: Forbidden Love
Author: Andrea and Frank
Written: August 3rd 2003
Category: Mulder/Other, Scully/Other, A, MSR, Future, M&S married (at the very end)
Spoilers: Mentioning some stuff during Scully's cancer phase. Pilot, Biogenesis, The Sixth Extinction, The Sixth Extinction: Amor Fati, Sein Und Zeit, Hollywood A. D. , Requiem, Per Manum, This Is Not Happening, Deadalive, Three Words, Empedocles, Vienen, Essence, Existence, TrustNo1, William, The Truth.
Disclaimer: Fox William Mulder, Dana Katherine Scully, Walter Skinner, Diana Fowley and all other characters I mention are properties of Chris Carter, Ten Thirteen Productions, Fox, Gillian Anderson, David Duchovny and whoever else owns them. I'm borrowing them for few days with no permission whatsoever, giving them back soon though.

Disclaimer 2: I'm also borrowing few Madonna-songs, without permission. It's from her CD called "Something To Remember" and also from the soundtrack of Dick Tracy "I'm breathless" (You have to buy it, also don't forget to buy her other cd's (don't download, buy it!) like the new one "American Life") Don't sue me! I am not making money with this.

"Forbidden Love" is like watching all the X-Files episodes but seeing what happened in Scully's and Mulder's private lives. Scully is the narrator: we hear and see everything from her perspective what happened when Mulder disappeared, how she felt when he 'died' and we also see what happens after she went with Mulder to Roswell, when they were hiding. The story ends up in 2015. Romance ahead. so be warned (you non - shippers!) The story is taking place between 1999 to 2015. A lot of things are made up, it's just something I think or want to think happened privately in Scully's and Mulder's lives and there are a lot of spoilers and original Quotes.


*Want me baby, don't play with something you should cherish for life*

Since Madonna is coming to town all I can hear on the radio is her. Why do her songs remind of Mulder so much damn it! I have to tell him, I have to. I can't stand this anymore. but if he says no? Then I'll lose him forever. No, I can't risk it. I won't. Where the hell is he anyways? It creeps me out here in this basement office alone with all this I-Want-To-Believe stuff around me.

"Mulder where have you been?"

"Oh hey...um. I slept in."

Slept in? He never does that. Something is wrong here. He is sitting there, barely spoke a word since he came and I could swear I smelled Chanel No5 on him. All we have left for the day is paperwork, if he's going to be like this in the next 6 hours then I better take the day off. Why is it suddenly important to me to talk to him, anyways? What are we supposed to talk about?

"I'll take off earlier today Scully, is that okay?" he said in a very low tone, I barely understood what he said. OK, now I'm pretty sure he's seeing someone. Dana Scully, move your lazy ass and tell him how you feel about him.

"Umm...oook. Is everything ok Mulder?"

"Yeah. yeah everything's fine. I just gotta see someone"

Damn it Dana, now!

"Mulder I have to talk to you."

"Can't this wait?" he said almost hoping for me to say yes Mulder it can wait. I couldn't wait though. I had no patience. Now or never.

"Sorry, but this is really important to me-"...damn it, I sounded like a sixteen year old teen with my voice breaking.

"Umm. ok, can we do it here though?"

Do it? Hmm yeah sure let's "do it" here Mulder.

"Yeah sure. umm ok. here."

He sat down putting his legs on the desk and arms crossed, giving me full attention. To be honest, it kind of made me nervous but I took a deep breath and sat on the edge of the desk.

"I will make this very short. Since my illness went into remission something happened."

"Scully, are you all right? Did something happen?"

"No, let me finish...please. Yes, something happened to me."

"Is it bad?" he asked concerned

"I don't know yet," he didn't say a word and he was obviously waiting for my answer. I don't know why but I swear I could feel that he knew what I was going to say. "You've been there for me when no one else was. Without you I'd be dead and I owe you so much... ummm" my voice is breaking now: "What I want to say is...I kind of. umm. have these feelings for you"

"Kind of? Scully what is it? What are you talking about?"

Oh god, I sound like the queen of all adolescents in the world.

"I...like you... in a non-professional way," damn it, it sounds soooo stupid. Kill me now! A minute passed. Another minute and he didn't say a word. I wish he would say something. I don't want to break the silence. It's not my turn to talk.

"Um Scully. I. uh, I don't know what to say."

Something Mulder...anything. A word. Come onnnnn say something! Damn it in the next second I feel my lips on his. After few seconds though, I don't feel him returning the kiss. I moved away to look at him, I couldn't catch his gaze though.

"Scully, it won't work."

This is not happening. It can't be. I suddenly felt sick, in a second I felt like losing the ability to see or hear anything around me.

"I. uh...I should go."

He grabbed my hand and pushed me back to the chair.

"We said we're going to talk about it."

"I don't know what else there is to say Mulder. I told you how I feel about you. If you don't feel the same it's ok but I am not sure if it's ok for me to be around you anymore."

"Scully, if we start a relationship now they'll close the X-Files. They'll kick us out of the bureau and I'll never find my sister. I need to find her Scully. But if you are leaving now I'll quit. Not the X-files. But everything. It won't work without you. I don't trust anyone else but you. I'd rather close the X-files than give someone else the opportunity to make a joke out of it or to destroy it completely."

"You are seeing someone. Why didn't you tell me? If you really trust me like you say you do then why didn't you tell me that you're seeing someone. " I was angry now. In this moment I wished he was dead, I wished everyone was. It felt like everything is falling apart.

"Because. I know about your feelings. I knew it for a while. I had them too but I know that that would be wrong. It must be. And the reason why I never told you about "her" is because you know her and you hate her. I never wanted to hurt you."

"Diana. " that wasn't a question I knew it. No one else had control over him like she did. My worst dream was coming true. I didn't have the strength to move, all I wanted though, was run away, as fast as possible. Run from Mulder and all the things that shaped my life the past few years. I couldn't leave him though. Not only physically my body couldn't move, but my mind...I knew he needed me. I knew. because I saw his tears. his fears...he opened to me like no one else did. Sorry is all he could say and then he left.


2 months later:

The past two months were the hardest ones in my life. cancer seemed like a nice relief compared to all of this. When my first love turned me down it didn't feel like this. Mulder was still with Diana, both hiding their relationship for reasons whatsoever. She literally enjoyed seeing me like this... broken. I think everyone saw it...everyone saw the loneliness inside me, even though they didn't know the reason why.

Agent McNeill asked me for a date and after thinking for few days, I said yes. I can't be a cry baby all the time I thought. I was trying to find what to wear. I tried everything, x-amount of combinations and why did I care so much anyways? Let's be realistic, I am doing this only because I want to. I have to get over Mulder. I turned the radio on. Madonna again. In few months is her concert and the past few months that was all they've been talking about here. Why making such a big deal out of it? But the song really got me. I sat down by the window and watched the rain fall.

"I turned around too late to see the fallen star I fell asleep and never saw the sun go down I took your love for granted Thought luck was always on my side I turned around too late and you were gone

So give me one more chance Darlin' if you care for me Let me win your love 'Cause you were always there for me If you care for me, Be there for me"

I can't remember hearing the rest of the song. I remember falling asleep and I remember dreaming about Mulder. It was a bad dream though. Lately Mulder has been hearing a cacophony of sound in his head. I'm worried but I decided that it won't influence on my date. I have to get through it. But I've still been asking my self lately why Mulder still wants to pursue the truth about aliens or whatever, now that the Syndicate members are dead. Their secrets are exposed so why still fight? His only excuse . as usual. is that he wants, he needs to find his sister.

"Scully, you need to come to the hospital right away"...Skinner sounded upset. I wasn't in a mood for any autopsies, he just woke me up damn it!

"What is it?"

"It's Mulder."

I felt sick to my stomach. I drove as fast as possible to learn that Mulder has been confined to a psychiatric ward. I knew, I was 100% sure that it had something to do with Diana Fowley. It has to be her fault.


The date with McNeill had been canceled. I don't know whether I am going to go out with him later sometimes or not. I was in Africa looking for a cure for Mulder. I was trying to piece together the cryptic symbols on the surface of a beached spaceship. I found out that Mulder contracted his illness after coming in contact with a carbon rubbing from the craft. As I suspected, Fowley was on CSM's side who used Mulder for his experiments. But as much as I wanted Diana to betray Mulder I knew that in the end Diana was questioning CSM's motivation for using Mulder in the experiments. After Diana gave me a hint I went to the surgery room to find Mulder there. Later we talked, and what I hated most is that I was the one who told him the bad news. Diana Fowley was murdered because she helped me to save him. He was emotional. He did love her. I didn't have the strength nor the courage to stay with him all night...because I didn't know how to act on the fact that Diana was gone now. that I am again the woman in his life. well maybe not "that" way. but I felt like an intruder . for some reason I felt guilty.

Few weeks passed and my relationship with Mulder was more or less back to normal. I also more or less accepted the fact that we're just friends. I moved on...more or less. I went out with McNeill. It was a classic dinner in a classic restaurant . nothing special but at least my mind was off Mulder for a while. Few days later we went on a second date and I started to like this guy. well he was boring but I tried to like him. Not in the way I like Mulder but enough to consider him my lover for a while. I was the one this time who went off earlier because of a date. I couldn't determine whether Mulder was sad because of Diana, his mother, who died recently too, or because of the fact that I am going on a date. It must be his mother I thought and moved on.

"Hey Dana."

McNeill is calling me by my name already???

"Hey David, how you doin'?"

"Not bad. not bad, I was thinking maybe you could go with me to the Madonna concert tomorrow. I know I know, it sounds."

"No, No I'd like to. When is it?" I interrupted him.

"I'll pick you up tomorrow at six."

Jeez I haven't been to a concert in ages. But they've been talking about this one for so long. ah what the heck. Let's lose control... yeah right!

"Scully, it's me".

"Hey Mulder. You OK?"

"Yeah. yeah I'm fine I guess. I just needed to hear your voice."

"Mulder, you're not fine I'm going to come over."

"No Scully, you don't have to. You probably have plans" he said and hung up.

I picked up the phone again but I didn't call him. He went through a hard time lately, he needs rest I thought. I felt sorry for him, I felt the pain. It cuts like a knife and I hate seeing him like that. I miss my "old" Mulder and my old feelings for him...pure friendship. And I knew that deep inside of me I wanted to revenge my-self for all the pain he caused me. Revenge is the wrong word but I wanted him to feel like I did...or do. He never mentioned the topic "us" in a romantic sort of way since "that" conversation. He never asked me how I felt and he knew how much it hurt me.


David McNeill knocked on my door at exactly 5:58 pm. hmm. We went to the concert. I didn't feel out of place after all...considering the fact that Madonna sings for a while now and that there are "older" folks like me out here. David and I danced and even though the concert was great I felt out of place. Not because of where I was but because of the company. It felt terribly wrong but telling David now after buying the tickets that I wanna go home was the wrong thing to do, too. I was silent and he knew it, he knew why. But when I heard Madonna singing:

"You think that you are strong, but you are weak You'll see, It takes more strength to cry, admit defeat. I have truth on my side, You only have deceit You'll see, somehow, someday"

I felt good. I felt like Mulder deserved all the pain. Suddenly I felt someone grabbing my arm and pulling me away from David. It was Mulder.

"Hey leave her alone," David said protectively, as he tried to punch Mulder in the face, he couldn't though, I didn't allow it.

"It's ok, there must be an explanation," I said with a shaky voice. There was silence for a minute and Mulder and I just looked at each-other. In the background Madonna spoke in a low voice: "Don't go near the fire, don't go in the dark, Don't give in to your desire, 'cause he's gonna break your heart, Let go, let go"

Mulder approached closer and closer and I think I heard David saying "hey!" but the world disappeared in the moment. Only Mulder and I. He reached for me and pulled me closer, his lips landing on my mouth. He whispers:" Forbidden Love Scully. not anymore. " I meant to pull my mouth from his, David was there after all, but I can't. Not because I'm not strong enough, I'm not even trying. The way how his lips fit so perfect to mine, wow! It's incredible. He looked at me for a second, then he puts one hand in my hair as he kissed me again with more intensity. In the background I hear the music again:

"I don't, don't care if it's not right To have your arms around me I want to feel what it's like Take all of you inside of me

In your eyes, forbidden love In your smile, forbidden love In your kiss, forbidden love If I had one wish love would always feel like this"

Suddenly I realized what we were doing and I started panicking. I pulled back, separating myself from him. It's wrong Dana, everyone left him and now he's looking for comfort in you I thought. His face - with an astonished and angry expression. I touched my mouth with my fingertips for a moment trying to decide what to do trying to think about what just happened and whether it's good or bad. There's been enough waiting for me so why am I suddenly scared. I turn around and see that David is already gone for while now. I also know that there was the sexual tension from Mulder's side too. He can't deny it. But why now doing this step? What about his sister? What made him change his mind?

"What changed your mind?"

"I was blind Scully. And afraid."

"Afraid of what Mulder? Afraid that they're going to separate us? Afraid that I'm going to be the reason why your sister was never found? Afraid of what?" I said, almost yelling, but not because of anger but because of the loud music in the background.

"Afraid that...that once I have you I might lose you."

"Mulder. why do you say that?"

"Because everything I ever loved I lost. My sister, my father and almost you."

"But you didn't lose me. I'm here. " We're suddenly hugging. I couldn't help but mention the following:" I know it's been hard for you to get over Diana. I don't want to be the second-choice, I don't."

He interrupted me: "You are not. I didn't love Diana. I did, but years back. A few days before she was murdered she broke up with me."

"Why?"

"Because she said that she can't be with a man who loves another woman"

I looked at him, hoping that he meant me. I was afraid to ask but I made an, at the same time, enigmatic and confused face. He just nodded, and we smiled at each otherand he kissed me again. I stopped him.

"We're still not done, Mulder. You said that you can't give them the pleasure to close the X-files and you said it's important to you. because of your sister. Don't you want to find Sam?"

"I do...I did. But. there's no point Scully. She's dead. And besides, we know too much, they can't let us go. We don't have to talk about this right away."

"Mulder, don't do this to me. I don't want to have a secret relationship. I want to be able to go to the mall with you, to walk with you holding hands, to kiss you on the beach. I want to do stuff normal people do"

"We will do all of this...just be patient for few weeks."

Few weeks... huh? Well I'll give him few weeks. I hope I won't wait too long I thought.

I thought a lot about what will happen "in few weeks". But if we have a normal relationship then again I can't give him the most important thing ... children. I still have trouble accepting the fact that I'm left barren. I knew that if there's just a little chance of getting pregnant that I should use it now...that I should try everything. now!


3 weeks later

"There you are. I've been looking all over for you. " Mulder said as he went into the elevator with me.

"Hi. Um, I'm sorry. I had a doctor's appointment and, um, I don't know, I guess time just got away from me."

I don't know why but I just couldn't look at him. I was afraid to meet his gaze.

"Is anything the matter?" he asked concerned.

"Nothing. No, I just, uh... I went for a walk."

"Mmm. Then what's wrong?" he knew that I was doing something behind his back. nothing bad but something I felt uncomfortable to talk about. I took a deep breath.

"I'm... I'm sorry I haven't told you. I don't know why I haven't. I mean, you were always there for me during my illness but, um..."

He leaned into me and said:" Don't make me guess."

"I was left unable to conceive with whatever test that they did on me. And I am not ready to accept that I will never have children."

"Scully, there's, um, there's something I haven't told you either and I hope you, uh, forgive me and understand why I would have kept it from you."

The first thing that came to my mind is that Diana and him had a child. In a second I felt the world falling apart.

"What?"

"During my investigation into your illness I found out the reason why you were left barren. Your ova were taken from you and stored in a government lab."

I couldn't believe what he was saying there. He lied to me all the time?

"What? You found them?"

"I-I took them directly to a specialist who would tell me if they were okay," he said, almost afraid of my reaction.

"I don't believe this."

"Scully, you were deathly ill, and I... I couldn't bear to give you another piece of bad news."

I felt sick to my stomach. I didn't know how to deal with this new information.

"Is that what it was? It was bad news?"

"The doctor said that the ova weren't viable."

"I want a second opinion," I said quickly.

I went the same day to consult with Dr. Parenti. He said that with a proper approach that they might be successful to get me pregnant. I knew that I had to do it as soon as possible but I didn't know how to ask. him. Mulder. When I did I didn't expect an answer right away. But he came the same day to my apartment. He knew how impatient I was and how this was killing me.

" Hi," I said.

"Hi."

Jesus Christ, I never felt so uncomfortable around him like I did in that moment.

"Come on in."

"Thanks."

"Can I take your coat?" I asked without making eye-contact

"No, I can't stay. I gotta get back to the office for a while."

For a while? Hmm

"Obviously you've had some time to think about my request". I went right to the point

"Um, it's... it's not something that I get asked to do every day. Um, but I am absolutely flattered."

Oh damn I felt my face getting more red than my hair.

"No, honestly. " Why does he keep saying that anyways?

"Okay, if... if you're trying to politely say "no," it's okay. I, I understand. " again, I lost eye-contact. This was so embarrassing and hard for me.

"See what's weird is... this sounds, and this sounds really weird, I know, but I, I just wouldn't want this to come between us. " at least he was having trouble to find the words too and to be honest I didn't even care to listen. not until I heard "yes" and only "yes".

"Yeah. I know... I, I understand. I do."

He realized then that I misunderstood completely and said quickly stroking my cheek:

"Well ... the answer is "yes. " "

Did I hear "yes"??? Oh Mulder, hopefully you're not joking! About 1000 emotions crossed my face. I was happy but I had to start crying. I couldn't believe he'd do that for me.

"Um... Well, I'll call Dr. Parenti and... I assume that he'll want to meet you and go through the, uh, the donor procedure," I said. trying to sound serious.

"At that part, I'm a pro. " he said. After we shared a smile he went out of the apartment.

Day after that, we went to Dr. Parenti to go through the donor procedure as well as the insemination procedure. Dr. Parenti told me to come back in two days.


"Um. Ms. Scully, I know this must be very difficult for you and."

"It didn't take?" I interrupted Dr. Parenti impatiently.

"I'm sorry"

I turned around, tears falling down my face. I didn't know what to do, how to tell Mulder, it was my last chance damn it! I was in shock and I knew how dangerous it was to drive now, but I ignored the risk. I opened my apartment to find Mulder there lying on the sofa. He saw the expression on my face and he knew exactly what happened.

"It didn't take, did it?"

I couldn't say "no". I wasn't able to speak. I knew that as soon as I open my mouth that I won't be able to stop from crying. After a minute I spoke:" I guess it was too much to hope for" he hugged me for a while:" It was my last chance Mulder."

"Never give up on a miracle" He was holding me for a while until he turned and went to the bedroom taking me with him.

"Scully, I know this is not what you wanted, I know how much you love children and I know it took me more than a year to realize this but I do love you too, and I will never leave you. If you want we can try this one more time, or hundred more times but I don't want to see you unhappy."

"Oh Mulder...thank you so much. I will be happy. I will be. as long as you're with me. And I am willing to try it few more times but I want to start now, in this moment," I said and kissed him. More than three weeks I waited for this but I couldn't take this any longer. I needed him. He kissed me back and said:" Scully, I don't want to do it this way. I want it to be special. Taking advantage of you is not what I want. I don't want you to regret anything in the morning"

"I won't Mulder. I don't regret anything as long as it's with you."

"I'll always be with you Scully" he said as he knelt down and started kissing my abdomen. Suddenly he stopped...he was looking at the bullet scar, and then he kissed it and whispered:" I love you". As he tried to unbutton my shirt I protested. at first, but when I saw that "it's really Mulder" I allowed him to move on. With no big reason I began to cry, realizing his words too late. "I love you too Mulder."

Instantly my insides turned molten. My knees weakened, my breath quickened and my heart pounded 200/min. Damn it Mulder, unbelievable what you always do to me His mouth was tasty and soft and gentle and hot and just the feeling of his tongue in my mouth turned me on and made me forget all my pain. for a moment at least. The heat that rushed through my body shocked and excited me to the point that I didn't trust my self of stopping him, ever.

For a moment he just looked at me to find the "yes" to continue, in my eyes. I just nodded confused, blinded with desire.

"Maybe we should stop and wait a few."

"Damn it Mulder" I said as I kissed him, this time with lots of passion. He instantly kissed me back, hard, with the fervor of a man possessed.

"I can't believe I almost lost you to that McNeill guy"

I needed to laugh. A big, passionate laugh that confused Mulder. "Damn it Mulder, he wasn't even close. To be more precise I never dated anyone so boring. We never even got to the sex part. Now please kiss me and don't talk" This time Mulder was the one who laughed.

"OK, I think I'm about to kiss you again"

"You think?"

"Yeah well, this time is different, you see. This time, when I kiss you there's no going back"

"Thank God"

He laughed again and kissed me. "Thanks for letting me know"

I reciprocated by running my hands over his chest, down his abdomen. He unbuttoned my shirt completely this time but doesn't push my shirt off right away. Those hands were extremely dexterous when it comes to buttons, you know He looked at me, cupped my breast and hugged me for a second. Then he carefully pushed the shirt off, letting it fall down on to the floor. He hesitates for just a moment undecided as to where to put his hand. It was new land for both of us and we both were afraid. Finally, he puts his hand on my breast right over my heart. "You afraid Scully?" everything but that question

"Excited" I lie. Excited - yes, but scared? - definitely!

I move my hand to his right side and remove his holster and gun and then set it on the table, following by depositing my gun next to his. I slowly undo his belt buckle and pull his zipper open impressed with what is inside. He kicks off his shoes and steps out of his pants. His arms went around me, pulling me closer to him. We kissed for what seemed like hours exploring each others bodies. It felt so right, as if we're made for each-other.

"You have too many clothes on, Dana" Dana? he said as he pushed my skirt down. I felt my knees getting weak. We both sat down on the bed and looked at each other in amazement. Jesus Christ, how much I adored this man! He came closer again, taking me into his mouth. "Last chance Dana, still wanna do it?" he asked as he nuzzled the curve of my ear and feathered kisses down my neck. "Uh huh" I said, not able to say more. I shivered even more when the warmth of his breath moved to my mouth. "Wanna make love to me, Dana?" Another nuzzle. "Yeah" I said Damn it Mulder, stop teasing me I groaned in protest when he drew back "I don't hear you Dana" Damn it Mulder "If I answer you, will you stop teasing me?" He smiled at me and then whispered:" Depends on what your answer is."

"I want you. to make love to me...Fox" I said, meeting his gaze. He was suddenly serious, realizing the love and passion between the two of us. "Ok. ok Sc. Dana. Just...call me Mulder, ok? I hate Fox" I gave out a little smile and nodded. My hands rose and caught themselves around his face and he gave a soft grunt as contact was made. His mouth was made for mine, his kisses. warm, steady. My hands delved into his hair. My legs twined around his. There were still too many damn clothes and he knew it. He slowly rolled over me and started kissing me with much more passion. I was really worried about how to get to a source of Oxygen without breaking this more than passionate kiss He braced him self on one arm as he struggled one-handed with his boxers. He pushed them down and concentrated on me again. He went back on his knees and helped me get rid of the panties. He looked down at me in astonishment. "Please don't tell me you plan to stare all day Mulder?!"

Obediently he nuzzled my breast. I always knew he was great in this Looking at his Tongue-vs. -Sunflower-seeds fights over the years. I knew he had a talented mouth With every nuzzle, with every kiss I felt this ache deep inside that was building with every heart-beat. I caught my breath as he pushed with his fingers through me...first one. then two. I felt my body responding to every touch, to every move he made. "You like this Dana?" I didn't feel like talking so I nodded instead of a "yes"

"Do you?" he insisted on hearing my answer. Damn it!

"Yes. " I managed to say it somehow.

"I don't want you to come now Scully, not this way" he said as he moved up to kiss me, harsh and full of need. He positioned himself to enter me and with one quick thrust he was there Jesus Mulder if you only knew how long I haven't done this

"God, Mulder!" I said a little louder than I intended it to be.

"Hey, you ok?" he asked concerned, stopping to move.

"Yeah, it's been a while" he looked at me for a second. I smiled at him giving him "permission" to continue.

"I love you, Dana", he said as he started to move faster, in and out of me. My legs automatically rise to lock around his back. I never thought we fit so well, never imagined this much passion with someone. It hurts a little, but that makes it more pleasurable. We moved together in perfect synchronicity, building towards the ultimate crescendo. I knew I'd be over the edge soon and so will he. I screamed his name as I felt the climax taking him with me. He made few more thrusts and then collapsed over me, gulping for air.


What happened? I woke up, not knowing where I am, what I was doing, what happened. Suddenly I see a hand on my arm. I turn around and see Mulder, asleep. I remembered what we did last night and then I remembered what led us to do it. I will never have children I was lying there for few minutes. thinking. I know that Mulder won't leave me but the thought of what I can give him, or not give him scared me. I wanted to give him the most perfect life. he deserved it after all. Carefully, I stood up, trying not to wake him. I sat down by the window, looking no where exactly. I was happy about what happened last night but the thought of never having my own children scared me so much. I closed my eyes, trying not to think for a minute. When I opened my eyes I saw Mulder in front of me. He stroked my cheek with his index finger, looking concerned.

"Dana, you okay?"

"Yeah...uh...yeah I guess I'm okay" I said giving him a half-hearted smile.

"You 'guess' you're okay? Scully, please don't regret anything. " he whispered.

"I don't regret anything Mulder. I'm afraid of the future. and this was unexpected"

"Don't withdraw from me now" His voice was so low I barely heard him.

"I won't... I won't Mulder. I just wish I could give you more."

"You gave me more than you think you did. You were the only one who listened to my stupid theories, you were the only one on my side when I didn't feel good or when everyone left me and you saved me x-amount of times. You don't owe me anything Dana. I still find it hard to believe that someone like you, someone this beautiful, amazing and brilliant as you wants to spend the rest of her life with a loser like me"

I felt tears in my eyes. I couldn't believe what he said.

"Mulder. first of all you're not a loser. And second of all..."

". and second of all?"

". I love you...yeah I do... no doubts"

He smiled at me, then he kissed my neck, my ears, my forehead and then finally my mouth. "You know what Scully?"

"What?"

"I think I love you too."

"You think?"

"Yeah...I think I do... let me think. hmm...I *do* love you Dana Katherine "Starbuck" Scully...yep... definitely."

Starbuck I think he's the only person who can make me laugh in situations like these.

"Feeling better, Dana?"

"Definitely"


Few days passed. Mulder helped me dealing with my "situation". It was so hard but every time I was ready to give up, Mulder was there, encouraging me. Tomorrow we're heading for Hollywood. Mulder convinced me that we both need a little sunshine. After all, we have 4 weeks vacation and that movie about us is finally done, although "us" is the wrong expression because reading that script. all I could see matching with us is our names, but oh well. I guess I can take a look at it. California, here we come...

20TH CENTURY Fox HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA

We finally arrived to the La-La-Land. Hopefully Mulder won't be looking at that Tea Leoni chick like he did 16 months ago? Hmm. I hope he's "just" a fan. God knows these Hollywood actresses are up to a quicky in a second. But she was more interested in how to run in my shoes than in him. Good so.

The BEVERLY ERNESTO Hotel HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA

Watching the movie I realized that they changed the script. In the movie, Mulder is in love with me but I am supposed to be in love with Skinner. It was silly and because of that I didn't really care but he obviously did. I mean, he stood up and:

"That's it, Scully, I can't take it anymore. " Well if Skinman. ahem. Skinner didn't suspect us being lovers than he definitely does now. But on second thought, maybe he still doesn't. He seemed preoccupied with his ladies out there. for all I know he's the new hero out here, but I'm still worried about the look he gave me. It can't be that bad though, after all, he gave me the Bureau's credit card! I went out to check on Mulder. That scene really got him.

"Been looking all over for you."

"They got it so wrong, Scully. What about us? How are we going to be remembered now 'cause of this movie?"

"Well, hopefully, the movie will tank"

"What about all the dead people who are forever silent and can't tell their stories anymore? They're all going to have to rely on Hollywood to show the future how we lived and it'll all become... oversimplified and trivialized and Cigarette-Smoking Pontificized and become as plastic and meaningless as this stupid plastic Lazarus Bowl."

I wanted to tell him so badly "I told you so" but it wasn't the time.

"I think the dead are beyond caring what people think about them. Hopefully we can adopt the same attitude. " I had to suppress a laugh before saying:" You do know that there aren't real dead people out there, right? That this is a movie set?"

"The dead are everywhere, Scully."

"Well... We're alive. And we're relatively young and Skinner was so tickled by the movie..."

He interrupted:" I bet he was."

". That he has given us a Bureau credit card to use for the evening."

Finally I made him smile. I just needed some time off, to think about something else, and I know he needed some time off too.

"Come on Mulder... Mulder? I have something to confess"

"What's that?"

"I'm in love with Associate Producer Walter Skinner"

Yes Mulder, this is what I wanted, a good laugh, after all he deserved it when I go few weeks back and remember how hard he was trying to make me laugh. We went to our hotel rooms to change. I knew before I even came here that I will convince Mulder to go with me to dance. I already knew the "hotspots" in Hollywood so all I needed is to change quickly and "Hollywood, here we come!" I decided to wear my dark-red dress that I bought recently, and I think for the first time Mulder is going to see me in those pointy toe shoes. I kept them in my closet for a year now. Now's finally the opportunity to wear them, to get out of that G-Woman image for a while.

"Hey Da. Scully are you ready?"

I suppressed a laugh again. " Yeah Mulder, I'll be down there in a second"

"Dana, what kind of gentleman would I be? I'm going to pick you up in second" Before I even had the chance to hang up I heard a knock on my door.

"Huh. in a second. literally"

"A gentleman keeps his promises. damn Dana you look...wow. you're beautiful" He kissed me putting his arms around my waist pulling me closer to him.

He took my arm under his and we slowly exited the suite. "He does, huh?"

"Uh huh. sooo, where are we going anyways?"

"The Garden of Eden" We both started laughing but then he realized I mean it.

"Garden of Eden?"

"Yeah, it's a famous club around here, I heard. Maybe you see Ms. Leoni there."

"Oh I don't need her"

We finally arrived. The club was already full Boy am I gonna be having fun here tonight I told Mulder to order a Martini for me as I went to the ladies room. Damn this dress looks hot on you Dana I went out of the washroom and looked around. All VIP's and Porn-stars, why did I suddenly feel so out of place? But then I saw the only normal-looking person around here sitting few feet away from me. Mulder looked at me as I approached him, and while I did so I sang with the song.

"You're a man with a gun in your hand, Waging a war between good and evil can be a bore. If you don't take time, it's not nice, So here's my advice: Take your love on the run, Oh God, let me be the one. Ah my man with the gun"

"Must be fate, Dana"

I knew what he meant immediately. "Yep...seems like every time we're having a good time Madonna's singing for us"

"Hmm, must be another X-File. " He said as he pulled me between his legs, his arms on my waist. "You know how amazing you are Dana Katherine "Starbuck" Scully" He kissed me softly and looked at me again. His face is contorted with his desire and need for me. He looms over me, his lips. just inches away from my own. "How did you get to be so damn beautiful Dana?" This time he kissed me more passionate pulling my body even more closer to his, as if no one else was there, and for a moment I felt the rest of the world disappear. "Dance with me"

"I thought you never ask Fox William "Spooky" Mulder"

After a wild night in the club we decided to head back to our suites. We both didn't want this night to end so we decided to go to my suite. I went to the bathroom to take a shower first. While I was removing my clothes I heard Mulder having a phone-conversation.

"No. listen, I want the best Champagne you have. Yes...What does that mean, of course I can pay for it! . Good, and I also wanna have some strawberries, lots of ice...umm let's see. oh and I also want to have Vanilla Ice-Cream... yep ... all right, that's fine. No, I told you it's fine, I can pay for it. Great, thank you. Oh wait...and also tell the room-service guy to knock three times and to leave the order in front of my door. What do you mean she doesn't have a boyfriend registered. Oh Jesus Christ, can you hold on for a second. " I heard him approaching. He was surprised to see me naked standing in front of him. "Huh. uhhh. Scully, you gotta confirm that you're alive"

"This is Dana Scully...yes, yes I know. it's uhhh. it's my partner, we're with the FBI. No, no. it must be a misunderstanding. No I'm sure he was just joking. Yes, it's all right. Thank you. Bye bye...Mulder, you don't tell these people that. whoa!" Now that was fast getting-rid-of-the-clothes, I tell ya. There he was standing in front of me as God made him. looking like he was just kicked out of the Garden of Eden. Well in some sort of way he was but he was so sexy with no clothes. Calm down Dana

"Mulder?"

"Wanna take a shower Scully?" I rolled my eyes but nodded. I took his hand and led him into the shower. Mulder turned the water on full-blast. Then he took a soap and started "cleaning" my body, washing off the sweat from my shoulders, breasts, thighs. I returned the favor then and did the "cleaning-procedure" on him. He was already fully erected. I dropped the soap back and pulled his body against mine. He kissed me and pressed intentionally his erection against me which made me moan aloud. He pushed me up against the wall and I automatically locked my legs around his back. He was holding my arms above my head with one hand while the other hand cupped my breast. With one slow thrust he was inside of me. "Oh God. Dana". He started moving up and down, faster and faster. Soon he was very close to the climax. Exultant cries rejoicing in our union. I felt that my own climax is very near. I closed my eyes and enjoyed the feeling. "I need you with me Dana, open your eyes...look at me" I obeyed. I realized that by looking at his face all the sensations I felt became more powerful. The look of pure love makes the blood expand in my veins. Mulder bucks against me with more force now. I saw thousand stars as I clenched around him in exquisite orgasm. We both sat down for a while, letting the water flow on us. I knew that this night was just a beginning, we expected the best champagne in town and we were not ready for bed anyways.


Few weeks later something happened that changed both of us and our lives. changed in more than one way. Mulder and I were investigating an X-File in Oregon. I felt chills the whole day, really sick. I went to Mulder's Motel Room for comfort. He covered me up in his bed, his arms around me. He asked me to go back to Washington, I didn't want to leave him alone there but he literally begged me to go back because of my health. He assured that he'll be ok with Skinner. I remember after realizing that Mulder's in danger that I lost conscience. I woke up in a hospital learning that Mulder was abducted. His words going through my head:" These aren't merely random abductions, but a case of abductees not coming back. " I was afraid. I couldn't imagine my life without him anymore. It didn't make sense to me. I also learned something else. Something I don't understand why or how but I do know that I can't make it without Mulder. When the doctors checked me they found the reason why I felt sick. I'm pregnant.

Skinner assured me that we will find Mulder, and God I hope he means it. Why take him away from me now? Why now? I had a hell of a time the past few days. I spent more time in my bathroom than anywhere else, because of my nausea. I want to find him. I 'need' to find him.

I couldn't wait any longer. I needed to go back to work. When I went down to Mulder's office I saw a group of people, agents, emptying the X-Files cabinets, clearing up his office, looking for God knows what. If they think that this is the way to find him then if you ask me, they can stay at home and relax, because this is not the answer. They even gave me a new partner to work with me, to help me find Agent Mulder. Special Agent John Doggett. I don't see any good reason why he'll be good in that search. He's a skeptic, he'll laugh at my ideas and theories, and if so, then he for sure, won't look at the right places. And this is not the place nor the time to argue with me and discuss my theories.

Doggett came up this morning to tell me that an abnormal brain activity had been killing Mulder. Why would Mulder hide that from me? Why wouldn't he tell me? I have to find him before it's too late.


Three Months Later

I'm trying to use this "mind" of mine to look outward at the world not inward at my psyche, believing that the inward focus is a root cause of our disastrous behaviour in this world. Looking outward has another advantage, namely that of sanctioning teleology. It opens possibilities for anti-reductionism or holism, for finding the logic-of-things in their larger context, purposefully. the danger in 'soul' is in the definition that confers on it a 'higher nature' than the body, making it 'other than' our total being, which strikes me as masculine head-stuff.

Three months passed already and I am starting to believe that I will never find my lost soul-mate, my protector and endangerer. There certainly have been signs. Signs that led me to believe that he's here. somewhere, trying to tell me something, but afraid. What was he afraid of?

I realized to late that Jeremiah Smith was the only one who can heal the abductees. He asked me to protect him, I didn't know why or of what.

"You better come with us"

"Skinner, what is it?"

"It's Mulder"

I felt a weird sickness in my stomach as I approached the place where they found him. "Where is he?"

"Agent Scully, he's here" Doggett said as he restrained me. Let go of me!

"How bad is he? How bad is he hurt?. No...NO. NO!!!. he needs help...he needs."

"It's too late"

"He needs help"

I ran to the compound as fast as I could. I was shocked to see a light object over the compound. No. please, not yet "NO!. NO!!!...this is not happening!!!!!!!!!"


"Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We are here to deliver the body of Fox Mulder to its resting place. We pray to God to deliver his soul and to resolve the deep mysteries Fox Mulder sought so tirelessly to uncover. Let us pray now for his eternal peace. 'I am the resurrection and the life,' said the Lord; he that believeth in me, though he were dead yet shall he live; and whosoever liveth and believeth in me shall never die. '"

I took a deep breath. In my head the words repeating. This is not happening. This is not happening. This is not happening I can't accept this. I am relatively young and I can't accept that the rest of my life is going to be without him, and even though I am religious I am asking my self. or the lord or whoever listens, why do such a horrible thing to me. to him? I didn't feel like living anymore but the life growing inside of me begged me to keep my strength to go through this. The funeral director started the motor that lowers the coffin into the grave. And so he left, with words unspoken. He was the last...his father. his mother. his sister. all gone. The real tragedy is that for all of his pain and searching, the truth that he worked so hard to find was never truly revealed to him. But was he the last. really?

I asked Skinner to take me home. I opened my apartment door and although I've lived in this apartment for so long, I never felt this emptiness . I felt like a stranger to my own home. I sat down on the couch, still fully dressed...sat for a long time. Not crying, not thinking, just sitting. still in shock. This experience was taking it's toll on me. A little while later I fell asleep due to exhaustion.

"Dana, I love you, nothing will change that"

"But Mulder, I can't live like this, it hurts so much"

"I know it does, go through this, everything's going to be alright. hey. trust me"

"Mulder, nothing's going to be alright, I lost you."

"No...hey. look at me. Who said you lost me?"

"Yeah, yeah, I know...we'll meet in the next life, or your spirit's going to be with me. Mulder I need 'you'"

"Exactly what I meant. Who said you lost me?"

My eyes immediately opened. Gasping in horror I realized that it was just a dream. Or was it? I can't think straight like this, and a lot of weird, abstract theories go through my head. Mulder and I did have a connection, even in dreams. But this...this must be 'just' a dream.

I received a letter. At first I didn't know who it was... there was no address on it.

"Dearest Dana,

If you read this letter then it means that the worst happened to me. I'm sorry for everything. For all the pain I've put you through... and for lying to you. You probably found out... about my illness that I've been hiding from you. Again... sorry. But you have to understand that I wanted you to be happy, not to change your attitude towards me. I wanted the Dana Scully I knew for years. I wanted to enjoy my life. Trust me it's for the better... because just thinking about the time when you had cancer. You have no clue how I felt back then. I was deeply hurt and stricken. I saw no life after you... I came to the moment where I pointed my gun at me and I thought Let's just end this pain... forever. I was so close Dana...so close to kill myself. It was only few days later that your cancer went into remission. It had been a hell for me to see you vulnerable and hurt... and I was just standing there without being able to help.

I truly enjoyed the past year we shared together. When you asked me if I want to become a father I got scared. I saw life passing me by. I knew how much time I got left but I also knew how much it meant to you. I'm sorry it didn't work... but keep trying Dana. Promise me that you will find someone, who will take care for you... who will love you. I know that you always wanted to be this strong woman...and God knows... you are. But we all know that deep inside 'life' for you meant a family... happiness...buying Christmas gifts for your children... and children themselves. You need that... and by all means, you deserve that.

There are so many things I'd like to tell you... so many things I'd like to give you and I don't 'feel' like going...I don't feel like leaving you. Our souls are meant to be tortured in some way. I never told you this, but you need to know it. After 'Melissa' and all the meetings I had with my psychologist I decided to visit a real psychic. Yeah roll with your eyes now, Dana. But this psychic ... she was one of the best. What may disappoint you is that in every life she was my wife or my husband and you were always the closest person I was with. Melissa wasn't my soul-mate, though... you was. I went far back before Sullivan...hundreds of years before. Every time, in every life we were lovers. No, we never shared a kiss. But we always knew better. We knew the unconditional love we shared. And we *always* knew that that love was more than friendship. Only twice when you were my father nothing happened but I was the closest to you, still. Any other time, when we were both at the same time men we had that something. When we were females we had that something. And no need to mention when we were male/female. And every time when something happened...when I realized that I have feelings for you, you died or I died, before I got the chance to tell you. Even though it was for such a short time, that little intimacy we had means so much to me. This never happened, Dana. Never. And I better say it right away... I love you. Now you know. Whenever you feel hurt... or alone... think of me Dana, because I will never leave you. And if you allow me a little space in your heart, I'll always remain there (I'll pay you back for the rent in next life... yeah, bad joke).

I was a nothing 8 years ago. I had no life. And although years after you walked into my life I still watched porn to satisfy my 'needs'... I still felt like a whole person. Because you made me whole. You're everything to me. When you walked into my office that day, I saw my life. You showed me that believing doesn't always have to be believing in aliens. I believed in you... more than in anything else. You *are* my Christ, Allah, Buddha and whoever else is up there. Sometimes when I felt lonely I went down on my knees by my bed and started praying "I pray to Dana Scully to relieve me from my pain" or something like that.

So, Dana Katherine Scully, do me a favor and leave the bad guys. Get your self a good guy. Live you life...for me. You have the right to take everything that's mine. I just have one last wish. Don't look at me in my casket. I don't want you to remember me that way. Remember our last night in Oregon? We were so close...and even though you felt sick, I felt so much energy coming from you. I don't know why... but I just felt something... it's weird. I hope you're ok. Ask someone to put a picture of you in my pocket in case I wake up from the dead and get bored down there...again... bad joke.

I could go on like this forever... but I need to leave you alone now. I need to let you live your life. Don't forget how much I love you. I hope that our souls will reunite in the next life... I hope that we will be some primitive farmers with no conspiracies and aliens involved. I'd marry a 16 year old Scully and have 8 kids. What do you say? Deal?

I'll be your guardian angel, I promise. (Unless they send me to hell or somewhere in the basement where I'm a nobody)

I Love You

Fox William Mulder"

Damn it Mulder, why now? God I didn't know what to think... the pain was unbearable. I can promise you everything but one thing Mulder. I'll never meet someone... even if it means lonely for the rest of my life I was physically shaking... the letter fell down to the floor. It was even late for making his wish come true. I saw his dead body. There's nothing that can change that. I wish it could.

If I had only been faster to get Jeremiah, maybe he'd be able to save him. Only a second faster! When I was holding his dead body I felt it was too late but I was trying to wake him. hoping for a miracle to happen. Mulder. wake up. please. Mulder No signs. His cold body was in my hands and I couldn't save him. The whole world grounded to a shuddering stop. . Come on, don't do this to me. Let's go home...drink a beer... eat pizza. watch TV, come on Mulder, get up. get up. . no response.

I decited to put the letter away and never show it to anyone.

"Mom..."

"Dana? Is that you?"

"Yes...um. mom, can we talk?"

"Sure honey. I'll be right there"

After few minutes I heard a knock on my door.

"Dana. " I always felt the safest in my mothers embrace but this felt strange too. I felt like I don't belong to anywhere anymore.

"Mom, what should I do?"

"Oh Dana, it's going to be alright."

"Mom, you don't understand, I 'can't' live like this, I can't go on with my life knowing that the father of this baby didn't even know about it."

"It's not his or your fault, Dana. I'm sure Fox wanted the baby as much as you did"

"That's not the point. I asked him . for. 'it', but it didn't take at first and since then we had something more going on than partnership, more than friendship"

"I know"

"You do?"

"I'm your mother, I know these things, although I thought you had that "little something" going on for months or years now."

"Oh mom," I was crying now, "I guess we did, we just never acted on it...Oh God mom I miss him so much, I don't think I'll survive this. I can't" I said falling down on the floor and crying. She sat down next to me.

"Dana, listen to me. You have to be strong in this, for your baby . Fox was a good man and he wanted the best for you. When you were abducted he was going insane and did everything to find you, without caring for anything or anybody around him. I'm sure that Fox would want you to go on with your life. Maybe the future won't be what you expected but you have to be strong now. " She placed her hands on my belly, "Especially now."

"I know."

"Dana, I know it's hard-"

"Oh 'hard' is still coming...I feel like I can't breathe, mom. please tell me this is not happening."

"Oh honey."

I leant over into my mom's lap and cried. I couldn't stop, no matter how hard I tried. And in the end I didn't even try. This was so much stronger than me. Right now I was just keeping my self from dying.

I wake up and find myself in my bedroom. How the hell did she manage to carry me over here. After a minute I realized what happened. Mulder. he's dead. I picked up the phone and called Skinner. I asked him for a two months break. I didn't care if it was paid or not, I needed it. I couldn't go on like this. After my long explanation why, Skinner gave me two months off.

The next few weeks have been horrible. I dreamed about Mulder all the time and it made everything so much harder for me. It was always the same dream. Mulder is reassuring me that he will come back. The worst is that I know that he won't. Why does my mind torture me so much? I'll go insane if it doesn't stop. Sometimes, I just sit there on the couch. The lights off, no music, no TV. just me and the room. Then in a second I see Mulder behind the curtain, looking at me... sad expression on his face. then I realize that I was hallucinating, God knows why. Sometimes, when I sleep I feel like someone is touching my mouth, but then when I open my eyes I realize that it was just the wind. And sometimes, when nothing happens for days. no dreams, no hallucinations nor winds I start to miss it. It's as if Mulder is really there, keeping me safe. watching over me. Sometimes I dial his number on my phone just to 'check'. as if just to make sure he's dead...and every time I'm hoping that by some miracle he'll pick up the phone and everything would turn back to normal...I guess it's too much to hope for.

I started doing meditations. It helps me concentrate on other things, or sometimes it helps me think about nothing. I also read "Moby Dick" again. But this time "Starbuck" doesn't remind me of my father but of Mulder. Everything I see and do reminds me of him and I wonder if I'll ever go through this. I see no end to this torture.

I couldn't go out, I just needed to deal with this by myself, because this was indeed a fight I had with myself. It was a matter of time when my mind will let go, if ever. I locked the door, turned all the phones off and sat down on the floor, in middle of the living room. I felt like I was a druggie rehabilitating. I tried to meditate, more or less successful. I have two weeks before I go back to work, I needed them. My mom came over to bring me some food. In the expression of her face I saw her concern but she knew all too well what I was going through and she knew that she couldn't change it, so she didn't even try.


Well, I'm back to work, not that I'm feeling any better than I did two months ago. The pain is still there. in the same amount as on the first day but somehow I managed to keep control over myself. Maybe I 'am' doing better than I think I am, I just didn't realized it yet. Agent Doggett, whom I started to respect more from day to day, considering the fact that he did everything to help me find Mulder. even believe in things. a little, got a great career opportunity. Yet he doesn't want to leave me alone here, especially because I'm going on maternity leave soon, which would mean the X-Files would be closed. forever. I'm grateful that he does that for me but he doesn't have a clue what he's doing, what kind of responsibility this is. This was Mulder's search, over years it became mine too, but I'm starting to ask myself if it still is. I have a child to protect and I am not sure if I want to be involved with something that has black oil involved anymore. Normal life I can't have either, considering the fact that I called my diary 'Mulder". Dear Mulder this. Dear Mulder that, not anymore, but I'll try to make the best of it.


ding

Oh damn it who the hell's this now

"Scully"

"Agent Scully, if you want to see Mulder then come to the US Naval Hospital, Annapolis, Maryland. No questions."

"Who is this. hello?!. HELLO?!"

I dressed as quick as I could and headed to the hospital.

"Is it true?"

Skinner tried to slow me down, but I was just too excited and couldn't believe what happened. It seemed like all my prayers have been heard. The dreams... the dreams...that was real. Mulder has been trying to communicate with me.

"Tell me it's true. Tell me. " I sounded desperate, my voice. almost a whisper. "I need to see him"

Doggett looked at me for a moment. "I know...but I wish you wouldn't"

I entered Mulder's hospital room. Tubes are coming out of every part of his body. I rested my hand on his body for a moment, feeling his heartbeat. I leaned down and embraced him, crying softly into his chest. Oh how much I needed this. Though, in the back of my mind I knew that if I lose him this time I'll be lost forever. I can't stand the pain anymore. I was hoping that what I saw in my dreams was real and that he has the intention to come back.

Mulder wasn't the only abductee here in the hospital. Billy Miles was also there, in the same condition as Mulder. His diagnosis was 'Acute Hypothermia'. I spent the day in Mulder's hospital room, holding his hand. Suddenly I realized that Agent Doggett is there too. I must have dozed off. I know that Agent Doggett is concerned about my health but his opinion about how it was wrong to get Mulder out of that grave is wrong. After having a little discussion with him the nurse came into the room asking me to come with her. I followed the nurse to the nurse's station. At the end of the corridor, Billy Miles, wet, naked and confused. He didn't remember that much of anything. He remembered being on the ship and that the 'aliens' are here to save us. After being checked we realized that he was in perfect health. I hoped that I could expect the same for Mulder to happen. I prayed. After having tons of arguments with both, A. D. Skinner and Agent Doggett, the situation stabilized.

I went back to Mulder's hospital room I found him unconscious, but in a much better condition. His color looked better, although his face and the rest of his body was still scarred.

"Mulder."

Unexpected, he opened his eyes and looked at me. I didn't know whether to laugh or to cry, unable to find the right words to say.

"Hi"

"Who are you?"

Oh God, Mulder. Don't do this to me. Come on, you know who I am! God, he smiled! He must be joking. Teasing me, huh? I sobbed, tears streaming down my face.

"Oh my God, don't do that to me" he smiled at me. Oh God, how much I prayed to see this smile again, "Do you know. ? Do you have any idea what you've been through?"

"Only what I see in your face"

I stroked his hair and looked at him for a second. I pressed my face down to his chest holding him.

"Anybody miss me?" I had to laugh. Damn it, Mulder. I missed you like hell. "Missing" is the wrong word. There is no word for what I felt or feel for him. I kissed his shoulder and tucked my head into to it. We rested like that for a good while, and damn, it felt so good. I finally felt like home.


Mulder's Apartment

"Must feel good to be home."

"Mmm" Since I saw him this morning he was in a bad mood. I try to convince myself that he's tired and that it's all still too much for him. "Something looks different" he said as he looked around the apartment.

"It's clean, Mulder."

"Ah, that's it!"

"Mulder. I don't know if you'll ever understand what it was like. First learning of your abduction. and then searching for you and finding you dead. And now to have you back and, uh."

"Well, you act like you're surprised" He chuckled at his own joke. When he saw that I don't find it funny he stopped laughing and turned away.

"I prayed a lot. And my prayers have been answered."

"In more ways than one" He said looking at my belly.

"Yeah."

"I'm happy for you. I think I know. how much that means to you" I'm happy for you??? I couldn't believe what he was saying there. I was about to cry but I tried to be strong in this.

"Mulder."

Seeing the expression on my face he must have realized that I was hurt. "Sorry. I don't mean to be cold or ungrateful. I just...I have no idea where I fit in. Right now. I just, uh. I'm having a little trouble processing...everything."

I looked at him and saw what he has been through. I understood his behaviour and left him alone for a while, hoping that everything will turn out ok. And it did, between us. But he was fired for being involved with the X-Files. I think that Kersh and everyone else was waiting just for a little mistake to fire him. Mulder is dealing with this better than I thought he would. He went with me to my Lamaze class, and helped me more than I expected. But I see in his eyes how this is hurting him. He isn't sure if he is the father of this baby. What am I supposed to tell him? How am I supposed to answer that question if I don't know the answer my self. I wish I did but to be honest, I am afraid of the truth. I am afraid to hear what I don't want to hear. If I'd still be the old skeptic, Dana Scully I'd have no doubts that this is Mulder's baby and that it happened in our 'special' nights few months ago. But I am not the old Dana Scully and after all I've been through I can't deny the possibility that this baby could be 'different'. I never tried to get pregnant after the one time I've been to Dr. Parenti's, except that I did have sex with no protection feeling no need to use it because it was only Mulder after all. Is it possible? Is it possible that the baby growing inside of me really is Mulder's baby, too? Oh God, I hope it is. I can't imagine a better father than him and I hope that even if the baby is 'different', that Mulder will be by my side and be a father to this baby.


"You know, it would be a whole lot easier for everyone if you would just tell us the sex, Dana" I didn't feel like responding to that comment for I knew that it had no point, I wouldn't tell my mom or anyone the sex. They can wait. "Did you hear me?"

"Yes, I heard you, Mom, for about the thousandth time, you can wait. Didn't you have to wait with us?"

"Well, I know it's a boy. I can just tell by the way you're carrying. It's a boy."

"Well, see, you obviously don't need me to tell you because you already know."

"Then it's a boy?" She asked hopefully. I didn't answer. It's just a matter of days, she can wait! "Oh, it's the least you could tell your mother considering everything else you're keeping secret."

Jesus, I didn't even know if Mulder's the father, hopefully she won't pick on that one. at least not as long as I'm pregnant

My mom insisted on having a baby shower, "Resistance is Futile" she said. She called some people I didn't see in years, some people I didn't even know or like. But I know how much this means to her so I bit my tongue and went through with it.

When I finally had my apartment for myself after a long and very stressful day, by the way, I decided to take time for myself, read something, relax. I haven't even finished my thought of that when Mulder knocked. He had a very serious expression on his face full of nervous energy.

"What's wrong, Mulder?"

He put his hand on my shoulder and began steering me toward the bedroom. "Whatever you can't get elsewhere, just throw it together."

"To go where? Mulder, what's wrong? Is it something to do with my baby?

"No your baby's fine, it's you who's in danger now, Scully."

"Look, Mulder, look, I can't take this! I can't live like this, as the object of some unending X-File."

"This isn't about the X-Files, Scully. It's only about you. Now, you are going to have this baby and I'm going to do everything I can to protect it. I just can't do that here. " I looked at him for a moment, considering his words and then hurried to the bedroom to pack. Mulder's cell-phone rang. I heard him talking to Agent Doggett. On the expression on Mulder's face I saw that something very bad is happening and I couldn't dare to even think about it. Suddenly the lights in the building went out.

"Leave the suitcase, Scully" I picked up my coat and put it on as we were leaving the apartment. The car we went in was blocked in. We had no chance of getting out, not soon at least. And we didn't have the time to get out or to try more considering the fact that Billy Miles, who's some kind of dangerous alien hybrid now, came out of the front of the building and began walking quickly toward us. Self-consciously I locked the door but then realized that it won't help. Billy keeps heading toward us and I swear I could see the end coming. Suddenly as he crossed the street, he was knocked to the ground by a speeding car. The tinted window of the other car slides down. It's Krycek.

"We haven't got much time. Get in!" Krycek to the rescue??? Something's really wrong here Seeing Billy Miles recovering though, didn't give us much time to think about Krycek's offer. We went out of our car quickly and went into Krycek's car, driving away quickly. When I turned around I saw Billy Miles getting up and watching us go. We went to the probably most unsafe place on earth. The Federal Building is probably the first place where Billy will look after me. According to Krycek, Billy Miles became some kind of human replacement, alien replicant who's virtually unstoppable. Their intentions are to knock out all attempts by us to survive the final days when they come to invade Earth. What the real problem for them now is, is my baby. They see it as some kind of miracle because it's born of a barren mother's barren womb. They're afraid of it's implications, that the baby would be greater and stronger than them In other words that he would be more human than human.

We started running through the building, realizing that Billy's here. Agent Reyes, waiting for me in the parking lot while the others tried to distract Miles. To be honest, I didn't have a clue what was going on...only that I had to save my baby.

I wake up. Reyes still driving and my first impression of where we are...nowhere. Hours had passed and I must have had a real good sleep due to my exhaustion. After a long drive we finally arrived to a place called The Democrate Hot Springs. According to Agent Reyes, that's the place where Doggett was born. Well that's nice to know but still... this place looked pretty old and dirty. I had no choice though. In a second I started asking my self What am I doing? Am I going to be running my whole life from somebody? Any normal woman would give birth in a hospital. Suddenly I started realizing that my parents were right ... in a way. If I hadn't chosen this career maybe I would have a life now...children, no abductions, no aliens... a nice house with a white picket fence in some sort of "Pleasentville"-like neighborhood. But then again...I wouldn't have Mulder. I can't imagine my life without him. And I know I mean it when I say that I'd give up everything for him. As a woman, I wanted to be strong. I wanted to be treated as an equal by my partner... not let my feelings influence on everything. When I realized I was in love with Mulder I felt pathetic and thought it'll stop...I just have to concentrate on work more. When I finally told him how I feel and when I got rejected at first I felt like the whole world was falling apart. But we both know how we felt...I know he loved me for a while. I know it because I saw the fear in his eyes... the fear of losing me or the fear of being sentimental...maybe both. I have to make this work. I need this baby to be ok so we can go on with our lives... together.

I had my first contraction. Billy Miles had found us in the middle of nowhere and I had a contraction... not able to escape now. Reyes was a big help but I realized that she was very nervous. She tried to stay calm, not to upset me but the fear in her eyes was so obvious. It's all so blurry...like a dream... but a really bad one. I saw people getting in... oh no! They came. They came to take my baby!

"What's happening? What?"

"It's ok, Dana," Reyes tried to stay calm and comforting, even now.

Even though I knew exactly who these people are I hoped for a wonder... maybe it's the hunters, they just came to watch the miracle of birth. Or who knows, maybe someone contacted the hospital. Maybe it's the doctors. Why isn't anyone helping me? Oh God... Billy

"Nooo!" I gasped in terror watching Reyes' sad expression on her face. Why are they looking at me. What do they want? "This is my baby!!!"

"You've got to push, Dana!"

"Please don't let them take it!" I begged in hope that they will eventually leave. Nothing. They just stand there.

"Come on Dana, PUSH!"

"Please don't let this happen!"

"Dana, push!" I screamed and yelled at them... even threatened them but they still had that cold expression on their faces which made it worse for me.

"It's mine!!!"

"Harder! Push Dana! Push! Push,Push, Dana! PUSH!"

I cried out in pain... desperately trying to make them go. Suddenly I heard the newborn baby's cry. I didn't even realize when the baby was coming out. I was too busy shouting at Billy and the other replicants. But in that second I heard the baby cry everything disappeared. The whole world came to a still. Only the baby. I felt Billy still watching but I was concentrated on the baby in that second that I didn't even care who was watching. When I looked around me they were gone. I heard cars outside driving away. My baby? Where's my baby? Reyes saw the panic on my face and showed me the baby. Then I saw all the blood I lost and with it I lost my conscience.


I wake up in a hospital... still unaware of what happened ... still thinking the baby's inside of me. Then I remembered... I gave birth... the blood? My baby? WHERE's MY... ? I didn't even have the time to finish the thought when the nurse came to my room and gave me the baby. A boy. The most beautiful little thing in the world. I wasn't sure of how and why I got pregnant and even though I had sexual intercourse with Mulder I was afraid of how the child came to be... and who the father was. But when I saw this beautiful little face with this somewhat familiar look... with that compassionate, protective look on his face ... I saw Mulder... and I knew. All my questions have been answered in that one look the newborn gave me. Ridiculous to think that a two days old baby could give me any kind of look but he did... and I felt safe. The nurse said that I can go home today, but someone would have to pick me up. I intentionally asked Agent Doggett. I didn't want Mulder to see him this way. I think I even heard him when I was unconscious ... I think he was there, helping Reyes to bring me to the hospital. But still... it needs to be special.

I finally arrived home. It feels so strange now, different... like it's not mine. Not in the kind of way I felt when Mulder was missing... or... well... dead, this is different. I asked Mulder to come a little later. I wanted to 'get rid of' all the other visitors so Mulder and I can have some private time together. I know his doubts about the baby... he's concerned, not only about it's safety. He wants so badly to be the father and even though he never said it... but I know. I need to make sure that he knows that I still love him, more than ever and that he is the father. I know he is.

My mom, Reyes, Skinner, Doggett... all been here and left. Now I have to get rid of Frohike, Byers and Langly. I heard the door open. I knew it was Mulder, no one else was invited today... besides, I felt it was Mulder. The three Gunmen stood up, said their Good-Bye's and left. I heard them talking to Mulder for a minute and then they left. Well this was it. The moment of the Truth. The real truth. The only truth that counts.

Mulder waited for a second on the doorway then entered the room, smiling.

"How's everybody doing?"

"We're doing just fine" I'm telling him as I rose from the bed and carried the baby to him.

"Hey, now. " The baby fussed in response. "None of that"

I looked at him for a second and saw the fear in his eyes. I know his doubts but I also know that in the second he saw the baby... he knew. All doubts were gone in a second. The fear in his eyes meant the future for him... he's a father. I transferred the baby to Mulder's arms. He is nervous but delighted. When he saw the baby calming in his arms he glanced at me. Oh yes, he is happy. He looked down at the baby again.

"Hi. " He looked up at me again. "What are you going to call him?"

"William... after your father. " Just the look he gave me in that moment was a thousand thank-you's and sorry's and I-Love-You's.

"Well, I don't know. He's...he's got your coloring and your eyes. But he looks suspiciously like A. D. Skinner". We both shared a laugh but then I was caught by the seriousness of the moment... of how this child came to be. I was barren... it was impossible...and why didn't they take the baby? He wasn't a miracle after all?

"I don't understand Mulder, they came to take him from us....why they didn't..."

"I don't quite understand that either. Except that maybe he isn't what they thought he was. That doesn't make him any less of a miracle though, does it?" Can he read my thoughts?

"From the moment I became pregnant, I feared the truth...about how...and why. And I know that you feared it, too. " I tried not to dig too deep in order not to hurt him, but he took it better than I thought. I think he started to believe... I think that what I saw in the baby when I first saw it... and I saw Mulder, I think that the same happened to him. Sometimes, medicine can't explain everything... and sometimes it doesn't need to.

"I think what we feared were the possibilities. the truth we both know. " I felt the tension in this situation. His pupils dilated now?...the look he gave me. I was getting nervous... I tried to tell myself Hey, Dana... calm down. This is just Mulder. Remember? The guy you had the best sex with!

"Which is what?"

Still holding the baby, he leaned down and kissed me. It was his way of saying 'yes I am the father... and all yours Scully'. He didn't want to rush anything, the kiss was very soft until I returned it. It was my way of saying 'Thank you, Mulder for letting me know'....


Three days later

"Why did Mulder leave?"

"I can't tell you."

Agent Doggett was insisting that I answer the question without realizing how hard this is for me. I needed someone I could talk to but I knew that no one in the world is supposed to know this. He asked me when I will start to trust him. Although it doesn't seem that way, but I do trust him. If I tell him though, his life will be in danger, too.

I cannot believe that I lost him... again. He promised to come back. We shared this closeness for such a brief time and the hardest thing I had to do was letting him go. 'If William is raised by me, Scully, I'll follow my father's footsteps and stop the invasion, they will try everything to stop us. It's too dangerous. If they don't kill me, they'll try to kill William. We can't risk that. ' I know what he was saying and I had hard time to accept that but then he said:"... First what they're going to try is to kill me". I nodded... tears falling down and as much as I tried to be strong I couldn't... I wouldn't. Not now. I'm a woman... with a child... and I needed 'my' man. His hands cupped my face. We shared a long look at each-other. I couldn't imagine waking up without those eyes again. This could take years...I can't wait years for him to come back. He knew exactly what I was thinking. Now I started crying, leaning my head on his chest. He pulled away to look at me. "Scully... Dana, listen to me. I love you. I do. And I promise you... I will come back... to you... and to William. " He leaned down and kissed me. The kiss felt salty because of my tears coming down... now even more intense. I closed my eyes as he kissed me and then the thought came Dana, let him go for now. If you don't... then you may lose him forever I looked at him and nodded in response: "Okay... okay. please come back Mulder. Please?!"

A promise is what he gave me. That was our last night and we talked and talked... and talked. We laughed... we cried... but mostly cried. When I went to William's already full decorated room to feed him, I felt Mulder watching me... us. I didn't want to turn around... I pretended like I didn't know. I started singing to William... it was more like almost non-audible humming but it calmed him. I heard a sob but when I turned around he wasn't there. When I returned to our bedroom I saw him... sitting on the bed, head down. I kneeled in front of him and he looked at me. His eyes were red. He tried to be the strong one...tried to make it easier for me but this hurt him so much. I know how much he wanted us to share this comfort together... but I know how much he was afraid.

And so he left... he wrote me a little note and asked me to read it when he's gone. It was just a short note:"We need to fight our enemies...or we will never have this family. Please stay strong...for me...for William. Love -Mulder "

Days passed.... I hope he is alright. I try to concentrate on work... but I can't... not really. I need to know that he's alright. I know that William needed me but every time I look at his face I see Mulder. It was so painful. My mom took care of him when I was at work and sometimes work was a relief. When I finally arrived home and took care of William I turned to the computer and checked my mail. "4 new messages"

-lose weight in 3 weeks! -penis enlargement (?) -Become a model -Spooky

Spooky?

"Dearest Dana, I am truly sorry for not being able to write sooner. It had been a 'wild' ride... no actually it was very boring but I got a place to stay at. It's someone I trust, you don't need to worry. I can't wait for all of this to be over. I am so afraid, Dana. Afraid of what's coming. Afraid of the fact that this might never end. I need to see William and you. God ... you. The last time I held you in my embrace you smelled of talcum powder and a baby. It was new... it made me want to reconsider my decision. I wanted to awaken with those new smells every morning. I fight and I fight and I fight...but I don't know how long I'll be able to live like this. This is what's called hell. An abduction seems like a good vacation now. All I have left is a picture of you...and my days pass by, by just looking at it. Sometimes I talk to it... thinking you will answer me. Sometimes, when I don't know what to do I ask the picture of you and I see your arched eyebrow in my mind... then I know it's the wrong decision. You guide me Scully... one way or another. I hope to see you soon... Love, -Mulder"

My eyes filled with tears as I read those words. He's suffering. He's in pain.

"Dear Mulder, I am sorry to hear that you go through so much pain. I hoped that at least one of us is strong... We need to fight. I had a lot of time to think about your decision. Mulder, I can't afford to lose you. I'd be lost if I lose you. You need to hold on. *We* need to hold on. The morning is the hardest, indeed. Now, weeks after you went away I still wake up in hope to see you lying next to me. I know how much we've missed, but I live for the hope of seeing you soon. Please promise me to fight Fox William Mulder. Forever yours, Dana. "

Again...I waited...weeks this time...at least we had this way of communicating... without this I don't know how I would deal with it. Not knowing where he is...if he's still alive.

I was deep in my thoughts. I was looking... no, staring at William. Thinking about how someone can hurt such an innocent 'life-form'? How can someone be that cold-hearted? Being a replicant is no excuse for being able to kill children. My thought broke the "You've got mail" alert off.

"I've resisted contacting you for reasons I know you continue to appreciate. But, to be honest, some unexpected dimensions of my new life are eating away at any resolve I have left. I'm lonely, Dana, uncertain of my ability to live like this. I want to come home. To you, and to William."

I didn't know what to tell him. I can't tell him to come home. It's not safe. I want to see him so badly. I took some time to think about this e-mail... to think about my answer. I had the strangest day. Even though I am aware of the risk I am considering the possibility to tell Mulder to come back. I know him, he would do it in a second. We are so blinded by our feelings, it makes it impossible for us to realize how big the risk really is. No wonder that we're blinded... eight years we hid the feelings we had for each-other... we remained partners as long as we could but sooner or later the moment we jumped into the sack had to come. I knew it... we knew it. And when the moment finally came I felt like everything started to fall apart. I felt like everyone was watching us, like everyone was trying to separate us... to hurt us... physically and mentally. I don't understand why, why now? We were this close years ago...we were lovers before, ignoring the fact that we weren't sexually active we really were lovers. So why now, after all these years? 'The Shadow Man' called today... asking for information. Information on where Mulder is. I refused to give him any information but he said he knows about our conversations... about our e-mails. It scared me... I'm scared for William... and Mulder. It can't go on like this. I agreed on meeting with him. "The Internet Cafe"... the place from where I sent e-mails to Mulder. Who is this man? I waited outside the cafe. My cell-phone rang. The Shadow Man. He directed me to a car, 'ordered' me to get in and drive into an alley. I got out and entered another car, waiting there for me. I drove for a while not breaking contact with the Shadow Man. Suddenly he asked me to stop... in the middle of a desolate field. I went out of the car and started to change my clothes, as I was told. Suddenly I saw the Shadow Man approaching me. I took my clothes and my gun and put it inside the car. He had a remote control which directed the car to go straight ahead. When it was few feet away he exploded it. There is no going back now He checked my watch for microphones. I realized that the clothes he gave me... they were my size. "How the hell do you know my size?" "Your size? I know your blood type, your resting heart rate, your childhood fear of clowns. I know the name of your college boyfriend, your true hair color, your ATM pin number, favorite charities, pet peeves. I know you spent too much time alone. And I know...that on one lonely night you invited Mulder to your bed. " "Oh my God" How the hell did he know all this? What gives him the right? He threatened me to contact Mulder immediately... within the next 24 hours. He says that Mulder is the future. What future? OK...I need to go through this. Train Station... tonight around 12 a. m. There is no going back now, Mulder is coming already. God, I hope this works. I came an hour before midnight just to make sure that everything's clear... and because of my impatience. Agent Reyes backed me up from a distance. Few moments before the train came The Man On The Street appeared from one side, from the other ... The Shadow Man. He has a gun pointed in my direction. When he saw The Man On The Street aiming the gun at him, he quickly pointed the gun to his direction and shot him. There's no hope...I'm dead. Seeing him aiming the gun at me again I gave up... I thought there's nothing else to do. He will first kill me, then Mulder and then William...God, not William! Suddenly Doggett arrived on the platform and shot him few times sending him on to the track of the coming train. When the station manager saw the gunfire he ordered the train to keep moving. "NOOOOO!!!!! Mulder!!?" But the train kept moving. I thought the Shadow Man jumped on the train to kill Mulder because his body wasn't anywhere to find. God, Mulder... am I ever going to see you again???

"I hold no hope you can respond to this. Or that it reaches you. I only hope that you are alive. I cannot help believing that you jumped off that train because you knew what I now know - that these 'super Soldiers', if that's what they are, can in fact be destroyed. That the key to their destruction lies in the iron compound at that quarry. I am scared for you, Mulder. And for William. The forces against us are unrelenting. But so is my determination. To see you again. To regain the comfort and safety that we shared for so brief a time. Until then, I remain forever yours - Dana."

Few days passed until I got an answer from him: "The forces against us are much stronger. Risking of seeing you again... even just for a moment would mean to put William's life in danger. I can't do that. We have to be patient, we need to hold on. Dana, reading your words makes it so much harder for me and I know how hard it is for you to read mine. We're both deeply hurt and we hate to see each otherlike this. It will make everything much easier if we don't write how we feel. I suggest that I write you every now and then just a "I'm, ok. Love... Fox" kind of thing. It will put a smile on your face if you see that everything is ok... and I suggest you do the same. If I don't answer in more than three months... well, then something's wrong I guess. I try to stay strong every time I see that I got new mail. I promise to myself not to let my emotions rule over me. But the truth is...I miss you. And I never succeed in holding my emotions back. Then I feel like I have to tell you what state I'm in. I know it's hard to believe in what I'm about to say but if there was any other way we could have met, I'd turn back time and do exactly that. I'd give the FBI up, I'd give everything up. You were right Dana, this search of mine didn't brought me anything. Just frustration and pain. As I said before ... I owe you everything. There is nothing in the world that could make it good what I did to you. I'm sorry. If anything happens to me, tell William when he's old enough, that his father chased after aliens... ;) I love you... and William.

*Fox*"

I took a deep breath. About 30 different emotions went through me... tortured me. I had something in my throat that didn't allow me to breathe properly. Fox? He is right...when I know what state he's in, it makes it harder. I have William at least... he has nothing. He's lonely and in pain. I can't imagine how he feels right now. I decided to write him for the last time a long e-mail:

"Don't talk to me like that Mulder. Nothing will happen to you, you promised to come back damn it! I need you. This is the last long e-mail I'm writing but you have to promise me to write. Just an "I'm ok" is enough. You don't owe me anything Mulder. At least we fought for something good. And don't be sorry of "what you did to me". In my eyes, what you did to me is William himself. And for that I am more grateful than I can ever express. So, please stop blaming yourself. What I do regret is that we didn't do this earlier. What were we afraid of? The possibilities? Well, I am not going to write you more because then I'd say things you don't need to know right now. I don't want to make your situation harder just by telling you how I feel. You know how I feel. And again, please don't let anything happen to you. If the picture of me gives you hope, calms you down... if it gives you the feeling that I'm always there for you ... then believe it. I *am* always there for you... even now. Whenever you feel broken think of me... remind your self how much I love you. How much we both here, love you. Remind yourself that you have a family now. I'm hoping to see you soon. Love, Dana."

Well... that's it. Now I have to count on the I'm-OK's. A month passed and still no answer. Mom visited me more often... as usual she tried to help me deal with the situation. "Fox is a smart man. He's going to fight and come back. " she said. Is he? God, I hope. This feeling is the same one I felt when he died. Only this time I am worried...so worried that the thought of what might happen to him is sickening. Two months passed. Still nothing. I am afraid to write him again. He said 3 months... maximum 3 months. From day to day it was more dangerous for William. I get threats... silent phone-calls... some people even tried to steal him or kill him. God, how long can I do this? I feel like going somewhere far, far away where no one would find us. I'd probably do it if Mulder was here with me.

In two days, it's going to be three months since his last e-mail. I am literally bound to my computer-chair awaiting the e-mail...Nothing. I prayed constantly...hoping that my prayers will be answered. Sometimes I think than I am the most selfish person ... I am praying only when I need something. I prayed when I had cancer, I prayed when Mulder was abducted and I pray now... God just this one is what I say all the time. I sound like a little child asking for only one more candy. Somehow I fell asleep on the chair. I didn't sleep in days... my concern is enormous and it keeps me from falling asleep. But when I eventually do I keep on having nightmares. In a distance I heard a baby. The sound became louder and louder until I finally opened my eyes and saw William, who was lying few feet away from me, holding a Teddy bear. I smiled at him. I realized he wasn't looking at me or the bear but on something else. I turned to the 'something' he was looking at and realized that he was looking at my computer. When I looked at the laptop I saw a window open with the "You've got mail" message.

"I'm ok. Love You. Fox.

ps: sorry for waiting. I know you're worried but I had to find another place to hide."

Oh God, thank you! This really was a relief. I suddenly felt my appetite coming back... I had a smile on my face. He was right. This is much easier. I looked at William who was now smiling at me. That baby really had that Mulder-something. Even though he's just a baby, I felt like he knew what I felt, what I was thinking. He had that protective look... gave me that little Everything-Is-Going-To-Be-Fine smile that I knew all to well from Mulder. I took him in my arms and started humming: "Yes... daddy's ok! Daddy loves us"


He started writing me more often. Every two or three weeks I received an I'm-ok message. We haven't seen each otherfor 8 months now. God, I miss him. The situation isn't better than it was 8 months ago. I'm still too emotional and I ask myself if I ever will stop being so emotional. When is it going to end finally. "You've got mail".

"Dear Dana, I'm going to try something in the next month or two. I may not be able to contact you for a while. Hopefully, it will be worth it. And I hope that the next contact with you will be face to face...body to body :-)

Don't worry, everything's going to be ok. I love you...Fox"

Month or two? God, I hope he won't try anything stupid.

A week passed. A completely disfigured man appeared who said he's 'very' close to Mulder. Agent Doggett said that he *is* Mulder. They did DNA tests that showed that the man was Mulder. It's not because I wouldn't accept Mulder this way, but I knew that this man wasn't him. He can't be. He said that his name is Daniel Miller. We found out that he lied. He admitted it but he refused to say who he is. No...he can't be. It takes much more than a test to know who the person is. I know Mulder in so many ways and this man is definitely not Mulder.

I fought against the thought that this really was Mulder. I found out soon that I was right. It was Jeffrey Spender. The son of a bitch! He injected some kind of unknown metal into William. He said it was a 'gift'. A gift? A form of magnetite... a gift? Now they can't use my son. The aliens... William was the only thing they needed. And now, with this injection, according to Spender he's 100% human now. 'They' won't accept him this way. They'll never forget what he was. He's going to be in danger...more then ever now


"Dear Mulder,

I had to do something that will forever cause me pain... cause 'us' pain. I gave William up. I gave him to an anonymous family. I gave him up Mulder...I'd like to say that I had no choice...they were attacking us in so many different ways...every day, but was I really left with no choice? Our son, Mulder... Since then I constantly thought about how you're going to react...how you're going to distance your self from me...even more than you do now. God, please forgive me...please

Dana"

I waited for his answer. But nothing came...Three weeks passed and still nothing. I know he said that he may not be able to get to a computer but why do I have the feeling that he read it and closed the "Scully"-chapter forever in his life? I hope he didn't. If he did, then I got nothing left in this world. I suffered enough...I need my peace. I can't... I just can't stand this anymore.

"Dana, you need to come with me. We found Mulder. He's held in a government facility"

Skinner and I drove as fast as we could. God, is this really happening?

"Mulder is held there... indefinitely"

"What for?"

"For the murder of a military man"


"Mulder?"

"Dana."

We embraced. God, it was so good to hold him. I missed this feeling so much. I missed *him* so much.

"Oh, my God"

"You okay?"

"Am I okay? Mulder, I haven't seen you in such a long time. I was so worried."

"Well it's okay, I'm alright. They're treating me really well in here."

I started to ask my self if he read my e-mail. He seemed so distant... he was just different. He says he's guilty. They brain-washed him. There's no other explanation for it, because this is not 'my' Mulder. My Mulder would fight. We had only a minute... not time for privacy. The guard asked us to leave.

Next day I went with Skinner to Mulder, again. This time, they gave us a little more time. When I entered his cell I saw him only from behind. He was looking through the little opening where the light came through. I realized the emptiness of the cell and that the only light he had was this little daylight.

"Mulder?" He didn't respond nor turned to me. "Mulder?"

He took a deep breath and finally said:"I smelled you coming, Clarice". I didn't know what he meant exactly, the seriousness in his voice scared me. He laughed at my concerned look.

"Oh... Damn it Mulder! It's not funny to see you putting on that act."

"No, that is funny. What's not funny is what they do to you in here if you don't put on that act. " He came closer to embrace me and finally kissed me. A deep, meaningful kiss and considering the fact that Skinner was there it was pretty long. Wow...I missed this. We separated... Mulder still holding my hand.

"Mulder, why are they doing this to you?"

"They think they're preparing me for my trial. For my testimony. My trial is a forgone conclusion. What they really want is for me to admit my guilt and help them out. What's really on trial here is the truth."

"Mulder, they're saying you killed a man."

"Have they produced a body? You can't produce a body, because you can't kill a man who won't die."

"We'll get you the best lawyer"

He gave me one of those protective Oh-My-Smart-Scully looks. It seemed like he already gave up.

"Would you defend a man who believes in aliens against the FBI and the military? It's never going to happen. Skinner can defend me. He knows all the facts, the whole government conspiracy. More than that, I trust him."

I didn't want to argue. I know how stubborn he is... it wouldn't change anything if I had to say something. I wanted to tell him about William so bad but I couldn't... not in front of Skinner.

A little later I went to Mulder's cell... alone. I needed to tell him. He seemed like he was sleeping.

"Mulder, it's me"

"Oh, is it time to go?"

"No. That's why I'm here. Mulder, I need you to talk to me. Confide in me... or we'll lose."

"We can't win, Scully. We can only hope to go down fighting."

"You're scaring me. Mulder, I'm so scared that I've just got you back and now I'm going to lose you again."

"I know what I'm doing"

I couldn't fight him...I didn't have the strength. I looked at him for a second and decided to finally bring up the topic I was avoiding.

"Well... whatever you're doing... you have no idea how much has already been lost... What I've had to do..."

"I do know. Skinner told me."

I started crying. It was still a fresh wound and the hardest thing I had to do is to tell him. He embraced me. In the moment I was in his arms I knew it was ok. He wasn't mad. He was hurt... but not mad.

"Our son, Mulder... I gave him up. Our son! I'm so afraid you could never forgive me."

"I know you had no choice. I just missed both of you so much."

He was hiding something. He told me that he was... 'it's better you don't know' he said. What is so important and big that he couldn't tell 'me'. The person he trusts most. Or does he? When I looked in his eyes I knew that he meant it when he said that it was the best for me. It wasn't about trust. He was afraid to hurt me. But what could be so important that could hurt me so much.

The trial began. From the beginning I knew that Director Kersh, who was a judge in this trial, was on 'their' side. I saw no hope for Mulder. Everyone in this room except Skinner and me, was against Mulder. I was one of the first witnesses on Mulder's side. Skinner asked me a few questions ... he asked me to explain the x-files and what we did...what my main mission was. Not to be on Mulder's side but the opposite... to spy on him, to prove him wrong. They didn't succeed in that and now they're trying to prove me wrong, too. I'm asking myself how long they're going to keep this up. Agent Kallenbrunner asked me just a few questions then. He, of course, was doing his best to make Mulder's theories sound ridiculous and absurd. I believe that he even believes in what he said. I think they chose him because he didn't know anything about aliens, indeed. So it wasn't hard for him to 'act' a non-believer...or to be one.

"All these E. T. 's running around... it's hard to keep these aliens straight without a scorecard. I myself have never seen an alien. Could we call one as a witness?"

"You're being facetious."

"No, I'm not. I'd like to see some proof."

"There are the mars rocks..."

"No. I need something good. Something amazing. Something really cool."

"I don't know what you mean"

"Well, what I mean is, you have no proof to back up one word you just told us. Agent Scully, isn't it true that you and Mulder were lovers, and you got pregnant and had his lovechild."

"Objection!" Skinner was upset from the beginning about this Agent. He was stubborn and, imagining myself 9 years ago... I was basically the same. I'd do the same. But it was not his right to bring our private lives into this.

"Thank you. Next witness."

I looked at Mulder and he nodded and gave me again one of those It's-OK looks. I panicked...I saw the end. I knew there's no hope for him anymore. It was over. Yes, they're going to have more witnesses... but saving Mulder...it's impossible. Not in this court... not with these judges. Call it a rush of blood to the head but I knew I was right. I tried to convince Mulder to make them a deal. Guilty on a lesser charge. He didn't want to hear about it. I didn't know what war we're fighting here. I knew that I was fighting *only* for us... for Mulder and me. It hurt me to see that he was only fighting for the Truth. There must be something big that he was hiding from me. He never meant to hurt me... I know that but why can't he tell me what he's fighting for? Despite the fact that he acted like he acted I did my best to help him. I tried... but the forces we're fighting against are so strong. Even if Mulder tells them about that "Truth" of his... they won't be afraid. They have so much power that being afraid is not necessary. All I could do is sit and wait. The phone rang. Agent Doggett picked up the phone.

"Yeah... I'll tell her"

"Who was it?"

"Skinner"

"Agent Doggett?"

"Death by lethal injection"

Time stopped...this is not happening... this is not happening... this is not happening. It can't be. I lost the ability to hear anything... what I saw was blurry. I heard myself breathing hard... my heart pounding in my breast... God, no...


"Agent Scully, go with Gibson. Reyes is supposed to meet with us. Then she'll drive with Mulder to you and you will take off immediately. Skinner and me are going to be there as soon as we escape from the facility with Mulder."

"Okay... Agent Doggett?"

"Yeah?"

I gave him a 'look'. I almost started crying. If this fails we're all dead.

"I'll bring him back Dana."

I nodded and so they left. Twenty minutes passed and still no sign of any activity ... not a single car drove by. I closed my eyes...tried to think about nothing. Funny how these meditations bring you nothing when you really need them. I felt sick to my stomach. There they are. Mulder approached me, Kersh was behind him.

"Mulder?"

"You've got to move out" Kersh said. Was he on our side now? Why do I have the feeling that something is very wrong here.

"What's he doing?" I looked at Mulder, expecting him to explain the situation with Kersh. Instead of him, Kersh gave me an answer, again.

"What I should have done from the start. You want to go north, to Canada. Get to an airport. If you're not off the continent in 24 hours you may never get out, you understand?"

Mulder turned to them. "None of you will be safe now"

"You let us worry about that" Doggett didn't know what he was talking about.

"Good luck"


Mulder, of course, didn't go north. He went south...to 'see a man about the truth'. This Truth of his is making me sick. I know I should be more supportive but I just can't. I hope that after we're finished with this, that it's going to be over. When we finally arrived to that place I found out who that "Wise Man" is...The-Cigarette-Smoking-son-of-a-bitch-him-self! He told us about 'The Truth'... the one Mulder already knew...the one he's been hiding from me. December 22, 2012. The day of the final alien invasion... God. What did Mulder go through these days... but why hide it from me. He always told me. I was his partner... God, I hope he doesn't see me now as a regular, emotional woman. I still want to be treated as an equal. We heard a noise outside. Helicopters. We started running... Reyes and Doggett were outside to inform us that 'they know' where we are. We got into our car hoping that they didn't see us. I'm assuming they haven't seen us yet, considering the fact that they headed for the Anasazi Indian place. They started destroying it... and with it they killed CSM... finally. They didn't follow us. They think we died. We drove for a while until we finally found a place in Roswell. We agreed to stay there for the night. I don't know where Mulder has the money from but he just told me: "Don't worry about the money. That won't be our problem. " Why is he hiding everything from me?

I was lying on the bed... watching him. He was sitting on the floor...thinking...

"What are you thinking?... Mulder?"

"I'm thinking... I'm a guilty man. I've failed in every respect. I deserve the harshest punishment for my crimes."

"You don't believe that. " It was a statement, not a question. He turned to look at me.

"I believe... that I sat in a motel room like this with you when we first met and I tried to convince you of the truth. And in that respect, I succeeded, but... in every other way... I've failed."

"You don't believe that, either."

"Hmm. I've been chasing after monsters with a butterfly net. You heard the man... the date's set. I can't change that."

"You wouldn't tell me, Mulder. Not because you were afraid or broken... but because you didn't want to accept defeat."

"Well, I was afraid of what knowing would do to you. I was afraid that it would crush your sprit."

"Why would I accept defeat? Why would I accept it, if you won't? Mulder, you say that you've failed, but you only fail if you give up. And I know you... you can't give up. It's what I saw in you when we first met. It's what made me follow you... why I'd do it all over again."

"And look what it's gotten you."

"And what has it gotten you? Not your sister. Nothing that you've set out for. But you won't give up, even now. " I reached out and took hold of his hand in a firm grip. "You've always said that you want to believe. But believe in what Mulder? If this is the truth that you've been looking for... then what is left to believe in?"

"I want to believe that... the dead are not lost to us. That they speak to us...as part of something greater than us...greater than any alien force. And if you and I are powerless now, I want to believe that if we listen, to what's speaking, it can give us the power to save ourselves."

"Then we believe the same thing" He believed me. Seeing that I smiled at him. I need him to know that he didn't lose me, that I'm still there. He reached over and picked up my cross, then reached up and caressed my lips. We shared an I-Understand-Look. He finally got off the floor and settled himself next to me. He wrapped himself around me. We were holding each other closely.

"Maybe there is hope. " He whispered as we fell asleep... together.


I felt a hand on my face...fingers softly caressing my lips. I, slowly, open my eyes and see him. Thank God, this wasn't a dream

"Sorry."

"For what?" I ask curiously. I felt that something was bothering him and he needed to get it out.

"For waking you up"

"Come on, Mulder. You can do better than that... what's wrong?"

"I... I wanted to apologize."

"For what?"

"For being so rude to you. I am so selfish... I don't deserve you. Not this way... not any way."

"I don't understand, Mulder"

"When you were in that cell, Scully, when you said that you were fighting for 'us'...all I fought for was the truth. But the truth is...I was running...running from you... from the pain. I was in pain, knowing that I might never see our son again."

"I'm sorry, Mulder. I was afraid that he'd be more in danger if he stays with me. I...I'm sorry. " I suddenly felt like I was about to cry.

"You don't understand. It was the right decision to give him to people where he'll be safe. What I feared is that I will die without seeing him again."

"Oh Mulder... I'm sorry. " I reached out to kiss him. We were lying next to each otherfor few minutes until I broke the silence. "What now?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, what are we going to do. How are we going to hide. If they find us, they'll kill us. We can't stay here forever. They'll find out, sooner or later. And, besides, we can't afford it."

"I told you. You don't need to worry about the money."

I moves few inches away to look at him. "What are you not telling me Mulder?... Mulder?"

"Dana...I... my father. He fought for the same thing I fight. The Truth. He wanted to stop the colonization process. Of course he was killed. But what he left behind... he had houses everywhere. And saying 'everywhere' I don't only mean the United States. All the money and all the houses he left for my mom. I don't know why her... after all these years separated. When my mom died...she... everything she had is mine now."

"Mulder?!" I was literally shocked.

"Skinner was the only one who knew. I was surprised when he told me that the money was in the car, when we escaped the facility. I admit, there was the time when I had my doubts about him...but he was on our side. He fought for us and now he has to pay the price"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that he's a dead man. In the moment he stepped into that facility to save me he was a dead man. Doggett and Reyes, too."

"He's an Assistant Director. If it goes public it's going to look bad for the FBI remember?"

"Oh it won't go public, trust me. He's just going to disappear... like he never existed. These men have so much power. " He took a deep breath and looked at me. "As for us, we're safer here in New Mexico then anywhere else. The aliens don't come here. My dad had a house here, we can buy tons of food and stay there."

"Where is it exactly?"

"Oh, it's not a town...it's nothing. Just one house in the middle of nowhere. The next town is 20 miles away. If we need something we can drive there. " He saw the confused expression on my face when he said in the middle of nowhere. Why would anyone buy a house in the middle of nowhere It's as if he could read my mind. "My father liked to be alone. And besides, he knew about the colonization, remember? He prepared himself."

"Oh. Well...that sounds good then."

"Are you sure? I mean it *is* the middle of nowhere and you're going to have to live with me there, and I mean only me. You sure you don't want to find a Mexican to marry you and you'll live somewhere in Mexico happily ever after?"

"Mulder... you really should work on your sense of humor."

"Well Scully...I lived with only one person, one 12 year old person for almost a year. You can't expect me to be my old humoristic self again... " He grinned. He truly is the only one who would make this new life of hiding interesting for me. "So...are you willing to take the risk...to live with only me...to wait for the end of the world... to..."

"I get it, I get it, ok? ... Yeah... Yeah I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Doesn't matter where we are... as long as I'm with you. But, you have to promise me one thing."

"What's that?"

"Wherever you go, even if it's just to buy milk ... I am going with you."

"Dana...you asking me for that kind of commitment? Damn I don't know if I can do that... I mean... " He saw the serious and a little disappointed expression on my face and then laughed. "I'm just joking. OK, wherever I go you'll come with me. " I was happy to hear that but I still looked a little sad. "Hey... Dana, look at me. I know what you've been through. I won't let that happen to you again. I promise. I don't want you to die with me but I know you, and I know that you wouldn't survive another dead Mulder. If we go down...we go down together. We may be lovers but we're always going to be partners. If you thought that I didn't see you as an equal since then, you're wrong. I was being overprotective lately but I realized that you're not just another housewife. You're still the old Dana Scully, the one who's been my partner. The one I trusted the most. Only now the way I love you is different now that I know that you feel the same way."

"Wow... huh... uhhhh. Mulder... are you proposing?" We had to let out a laugh, to ease the tension.

He looked at me in the eyes, with a half-smile on. It was one of those deep Mulder looks... the ones with amazement. "If we'd be legally alive I'd do it in a second... Sc... Dana, I don't need a stupid paper to call you my wife. Everything they say at the wedding... you know the I'll-Be-With-You-In-Sickness-And-Health kind of thing...well I mean that too. And besides, I probably love you more than 90% of the men on earth love their wives."

I smiled but didn't say anything for a second. I knew that as soon as I open my mouth I'll start crying. I cannot believe that I'm with this man. He was always so optimistic and the thought of losing him again makes me break down and cry.

"Dana?" I wasn't able to look at him. Why do I think about death in this moment? "Hey, I know how much it would mean to you if we would marry... you know ... legally ...but..."

"No Mulder it's not that. It's... It's nothing. I'm just touched. I cannot believe this. When we escaped few days ago I thought about how our lives are going to be miserable...hiding all the time, you know. I thought that we're going to start to hate each otherafter a while but hearing those words...waking up like this, in this smelly motel and still be happy just because of your presence... wow. I'm never going to regret going with you."

He pulled me closer to him and kissed me on the forehead and then on the mouth. "I love you. Nothing will change that. " he whispered. We were lying like that for an hour or so before we started packing.


"Wow! Mulder... I...I'm speechless. I thought this was just one of those old houses in the middle of a desert. This is... wow... this is great. Look at the fireplace. Look at the view from the terrace. Well basically we look down at the desert only but still... " I finally turned around to look at him. He was just standing there and I know he was enjoying to see me like this. He was literally staring at me, happy to see that I am happy.

"You have seen nothing yet" He said as he took my hand. The living room wasn't only big with a fireplace and a terrace. The access to the bedroom is something I've never seen in my life. In the middle of the bedroom there were stairs that were leading to an upper level. We went upstairs. There was one huge bed and everything around it were darkened windows. I already imagined lying there with Mulder and watching the stars or doing...oh well, something else. I turned around to look at him again. He loved to see me like this. I pulled him down to me and kissed him. He looked at me, still holding me close to him. "You're amazing Dana Katherine Scully. You know that, do you?"

"Maybe. But that's only because of you. Because you're offering me an amazing life with you. Mulder... I know we just came but...make love to me."

"What, now?"

"Yes now. Two years Mulder... I miss it. I need you."

He kneeled down and started kissing my abdomen. "Yes ma'am" He started kissing my belly and with each kiss he went more up, unbuttoning my shirt slowly. He was surprised to see me not wearing a bra By this heat?. He just stood there on his knees and looked at me. His eyes suddenly full of tears.

"Mulder, you ok?"

"Yeah... I just missed you so much. " The sadness of his words made my stomach lurch. He rested his head between my breasts for a second.

"Let's go to bed Mulder. " he stood up and followed me to the bed that was only few feet away. He just sat there next to me... looked at me. I know this was hard for him. I did the first move by kissing him. He cupped my breasts with his hands as he returned the lovers kiss. I let out a moan against his lips. God, yes. This is what I need.

"Dana... " He said in a low, husky voice. "Let's make a deal. This time, let's have a quicky and next time I promise you, to take it slow. " I nodded and we quickly removed our clothes. It definitely wasn't the right time for slow kisses. This time, a fast, hard coupling will do. Next time we'll make love.

He parted my legs and moved on top of me. My legs, on either sides of his hips, pulling him down. He just kissed me, but still not entering me. "Mulder...now, please. " I begged. He obeyed by sliding inside of me in one quick thrust. I heard his sigh of satisfaction as he entered me.

"God Dana, I'm not sure if I can do this slowly"

"It's ok Mulder, you don't have to. " He started moving fast inside of me. It was the first time after giving birth that I had sex. It felt different but good. My eyes widen at his speed but then they quickly squeezed shut. With every stroke he went deeper inside of me. I felt that I'm only moments away from the climax. And judging by his increasing speed he is very close too. My legs locked around him, sliding him deeper inside.

His face was only inches away from mine, intentionally not kissing me. "Look at me Dana. Open your eyes. " I obeyed. We looked at each-other, his eyes full of desire and passion. "Yes... take me, Dana. " he whispered. We both opened our mouths... breathed into each-other, tried to silence our screams of pleasure. Futile.

He came just moments after me. He looked at me for a second, kissed me and then rested his head into my neck. We were still joined and although it was something like 100 degrees outside we didn't feel like moving. I felt his hot breath on my ear. He kissed my neck softly and then whispered into my ear "I love you, Dana. " He was still so warm from our lovemaking. And I think he fell asleep. I knew that I couldn't fall asleep that easy but I didn't feel like moving him away from me. I felt so protected. I looked down to see our still joined bodies. Mulder's butt glanced because of the moisture caused by our lovemaking. I whispered in his ear: "You are so sexy, Mulder". He laughed, his face still buried in my neck. His response was one more deep thrust which definitely shut me up...but moment after made me giggle. God, he is so vulnerable, yet so powerful. He was a real man to me. My man.


We're already one month in our new house. Each day had been great. We made love, we talked, we sat by the fire-place or sometimes we would just sit and look at each-other. Two days ago we met somebody we knew. Gibson Praise. He said that he ran away from Agent Doggett and Reyes and returned to live in New Mexico. He's with some Indian boy, near the small town where Mulder and I go shopping. That guy helps him contact whoever he wants without bringing himself in danger. I wrote a letter to my mother but the Indian Boy still didn't return. Gibson told us that within the FBI is a mess. He thinks that Doggett, Reyes and Skinner are already dead and that we are considered dead, too. If Doggett and the others died than that means that my mom thinks that I'm dead, too, because there was no one to tell her otherwise.

I am truly happy with Mulder. He tries to make it good for me here and it is. But I do miss my mom. She was such a strong person. Sometimes when I felt like giving up she always came up with the Don't-Talk-To-Me-Like-That-Young-Lady speech. I miss that. I hope she will respond to my letter. I hope she will find out that we're alive and that I'm safe with Mulder. I told her that we're unofficially married. It was meant to be a joke but I know my mother, she will see the truth in that. And unofficially, it is the truth.


"Dear Fox and Dana Mulder,

It was such a relief to hear from both of you. What trouble did you get yourself now in?

I knew that you were not dead. That young agent, Monica, told me. Her partner unfortunately died. He was killed when he tried to save that boss of yours, who is also dead now. I don't know the details... I guess that's the top secret FBI stuff that I'm never supposed to know. Although I felt like Monica told me more than she was supposed to. That girl is hurt and I felt like she needed someone to talk to. I offered her to stay for coffee so we could talk. But as usual, you FBI people always turn me down, but again... always come back. So did she. We talked. She told me about both of you, how you were in love and how you escaped in the last moment. Monica is a wonderful girl and that something she feels about people. Well, I don't know if you knew that, but I believe her. Then, when she started to talk about her partner, it literally broke my heart. She said that she loved him but that she never got the chance to tell him. I'm glad that at least you two finally realized that you love each-other. I always knew that... I don't need a psychic to tell me that. I know it shouldn't be like this... you should have a house here, good jobs, kids but I am glad that you are together and somewhat safe.

At first I didn't want to tell anyone where you are... not even Bill and Charlie. You know your brothers, Dana, they would try to find you. And at first I was silent when they asked where you are. Bill of course started blaming Fox for taking his little sister. I couldn't leave it like that so I told them. I didn't tell them where you are and after having a very long conversation they promised me that they won't try to find you. It was easy with Charlie. He was always ok with Fox. But you know Bill. He thinks that he's going to lose you, Dana. I told him that you're married, officially. I know, I know you are not officially married, but who needs papers?

Dear God, I wish I could see you two. You know... in the past nine years I never saw you once kissing. I desperately want to see my daughter happy... see it with my own eyes. But I know that it's the best for us if we keep the distance for a while... I want you to be safe, my desires are irrelevant.

Now I want you to read this carefully. Fox and Dana Mulder, I am sending you this little box with this letter and I want you to take it as a gift from me. When you open it don't roll your eyes (although Dana is the only one who's going to roll her eyes and Fox, of course, is going to think that it's a great gift). There's also a little message added in the box.

Fox William Mulder, I trust you and think that there's no man in this world who's more compatible with my stubborn Dana. You are always going to be a welcome part of our family. Please take good care of my little baby-girl.

I love you both with all my heart.

-mom"

"Scully, you ok?"

"Yeah, yeah I'm ok. Hmm...Even though this is just a letter her words are always giving me strength and confidence to go on...to be happy... I miss her"

He hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. "She is a very strong woman and she loves you and believes in you. That's the most important thing you can have from a mother."

I saw a little smile on his face but I also knew that he thought about the differences about my mother and his mother, who didn't really care for him. "Mulder, she loves you, too. When I lost you she was always there for me and we cried together. She said that your loss wasn't different than when she lost Melissa. You are like a son to her."

He looked at me for a moment and smiled. "That means a lot to me... wow... So, Dana Mulder, want to know what's in that box?"

I just giggled and gave him the box. He was surprised to see that I want him to open it.

Two white-gold rings, one for me and one for Mulder. There was a little message on a small white paper: "Dana and Fox Mulder, this is my little present for you. I know that you're not able to buy rings right now and I felt that I could at least give that to you. Dana's ring is my wedding ring and Fox's ring is made for him in the same pattern as now Dana's ring. I hope it fits you both and you like it. I also hope that it will bring you luck in the future. Love, -mom"

"Just when I thought of my mother as being a strong woman she does this."

"Oh come on Dana, this is perfect. " he took my hand and slipped the ring on my left-hand-wedding-finger, as I like to call it. "See it fits perfectly... now let's check my ring out....perfect. How the hell did she know my size?"

"Mulder...for all I know, she could have been a better FBI agent than I am. Besides...once, when you were gone, we had a little mother-daughter talk. She asked me if I have noticed your long fingers."

Mulder started to laugh and took the letter again. "Who needs papers she said."

"You and her are a lot alike, you know."

"Oh really? Hmm... and I always thought girls look for guys who're in their fathers-kind-of-image."

"Umm... you are like my father too... I uhh, I never really wanted to mention it though. But sometimes you reminded me so much of him. it was scary."

He was suddenly serious. "Oh sorry."

"No, no... it's ok. He would like you. He was loyal and fought for what he believed in, and he was very protective... when he loved somebody, he did everything for that person."

"Wow... thanks. That's nice to know...But I look like your mother?"

We both started to laugh and giggle like some teenagers. This love was still new to us. We lied down on the sofa and dozed off.


thud

"What the hell??" Mulder stood up. Someone was banging on the door. Jesus Christ

Mulder opened the door. I was standing right beside him. Who could find us up here?

A man, in a black suit Jesus, isn't he hot? and black sunglasses.

"Agent Mulder and Scully. " It was a statement.

Mulder gave him a look. "Well, I don't know if we have the honor to have that title again."

"You will."

"Who are you?" He asked calmed, but I knew that he was as nervous as I am. For all we know he could be a 'replicant'.

"Someone who will safe you so you can safe the world."

"What are you talking about?"

The man pulled his badge. NSA. "Can I come in Agent Mulder?"

"Depends. " I wondered what he meant. Depends on what? "Turn around" The man turned around. He knew exactly what Mulder wanted to see. Mulder checked his neck. Nothing. He's ok... or I hope he is. Mulder looked at him and to my surprise invited him in.

"Who are you?" Mulder asked again.

"You can call me Man in Black, Mickey Mouse...doesn't matter."

"OK, enough. Get out!" Mulder said as he went to stand in front of me, in order to protect me. The man saw the gesture.

"You try to protect her but you chose the wrong way, the way that will kill her."

"What's your way?" I finally asked.

"My way. My way is to give you a house. A safe life in Washington D. C. To give you privacy as much as you want. To give you the chance to have children... to have William back without being sued. To marry..."

I cannot believe what he was saying. I didn't care what he asked for, I wanted to see William and mom so badly.

"What's the catch?" Mulder asked, still not amazed by his words... by his offer.

"The catch?... The catch is that you work for me in 2012 and only in that year."

"The alien invasion year...Why me?"

"You and your future wife Dana, are going to save the world."

"Spooky. " He grinned and turned to me. He saw that I liked the offer and was serious again. "How do you know that?"

"The Mayas knew that centuries ago. Their calendar stopped in 2012 and for a long time they thought it's when the world ends. But one boy was born who had visions. 'The world will not end in 2012 because there is a man who can save us from it. A true believer. He will fight to the bitter end with his wife... and succeed. The 'gray' will go down and once again peace will be on Earth...this time for good. A new world will be born, no wars, no diseases. People will come to realize that they're stronger together. '"

Mulder gave him a serious look and smiled then. He turned to me. "Mulder, don't become a skeptic now..."

He turned to the MIB, as I called him, again. "How are we supposed to know that when we return back to D. C. that we won't get killed? That the first Super Soldier around the corner won't kill us?"

"There are new rules, Agent Mulder. 3 weeks ago. Everyone is supposed to have a laser I. D. The I. D. is in the form of normal contact lenses. What 'normal' people don't know is that the Super Soldiers read them with it. They automatically know who you are. If you don't represent a threat to them they won't attack you. We will give you different identities and no one will be able to legally kill you. In 2012, they will start a 'silent attack'. No one will even realize when it will happen. It will look like a normal flu at first but then the body will change."

Mulder sat down and took a deep sigh. "God...how are we supposed to stop it if we won't even know when it will start?"

"That I don't know. In the predictions it says that your wife, who's a medical doctor, will develop something. I am not sure what though. For centuries that prediction was false in their eyes because a woman can't be a medical doctor. or so they thought. And you, you Agent Mulder have a different DNA structure than anyone else. Even though you're cured from your illness you still have that kind of DNA, the one that's a protection against the coming plague..... Your father knew about this all along. He didn't want to be near you that often not because he hated you but because he wanted to protect you for he was in constant danger. " He looked at Mulder who was confused, his head looking down. I sat down next to him... tried to comfort him. "I know this is hard to believe for both of you. But I have a wife who went through the same as Agent Scully did. She had cancer, she was an abductee, she was left barren and she had a 'miracle-child'. I want to protect my family and I will do everything I can to do so. I know it's hard to trust me or anyone but it would be smart if you do this time. It won't take them long to find you here. They don't need to come but they will send someone...or they'll just come and destroy every house around here. I can't risk that."

Mulder looked up at the MIB again. "What kind of identity will we get. New names?"

"No. Secret agents in every agency lose their identity completely. When they scan you, they'll just see NSASA which means National Security Agency Secret Agent. They will automatically see you as one of them."

"Why is that?"

"Because they think that they took over every government agency in the world."

"They didn't?" I asked surprised.

"No. NSA, The Deutche Bundespolizei, The Russian Secret Agency "Pravda", The Japanese Secret Service... and there are a few more here and there. And they all fight for one thing. To prevent the invasion. They think we cooperate with them...and in some things we do, to cover our real intentions. You can call each otherwhatever you want but when someone asks you, never give out your real names."

"What are we supposed to say?"

"Mickey Mouse if you want. It doesn't matter."

Mulder took a deep sigh again. "We need to think about this."

"You can't go now even if you want to. Not before you have the I. D. I'll come tomorrow with my team. You have 24 hours to decide. Tomorrow when I come I want you to be ready if you decide to go."

He nodded in uncertainty.

"Agent Mulder..." He turned around before he went out. "Make a wise decision."


"Mulder?"

"I'm afraid, Dana. He wasn't the first one who told me that we will save the world. People are depending on me. I am afraid that they're wrong. What if I fail?"

"We can't know that for sure. But this way we will have a new life, a life with people. Mulder, don't think that I didn't love this here. But I do want to live a normal life, I want to see mom again...and he said that we will have William back... I know it's not easy to trust them but I have to believe this. And knowing you, you won't fail."

"So what do you think?"

"I think we should do it Mulder. More than three years ago when I was in Africa trying to find a cure for you, I read a prediction like that. It really says that your DNA is different, that that will save us. They'll probably allow me access to the labs there. I will try everything to somehow reproduce your blood...to see what's different and maybe to find a cure that way...so we'd all be immune to the virus."

"Hmmm... " He smiled.

"What?"

"My smart Dana Scully. I may have this blood but you will be the real hero. " He kissed me and I stayed in his embrace for few minutes. "I'm afraid Dana."

"I know, me too. It's ok to be afraid."


We had our bags packed by midnight. That night we didn't sleep, and no...we didn't make love. We just talked.

"Mulder, we're going to be ok"

"As long as you stay with me, we're going to be ok."

"I don't leave my soul-mate that easy, you know. " He just looked at me realizing that I read the letter he wrote me before he died.

"Hmm... why did it change Dana?"

"What do you mean?"

"Well, we were never together in the form of being lovers. I did find out that you are my soul-mate and God I wanted to tell you so many times...but I never succeeded. What did we do to change this?"

"Sooner or later it had to come. Mulder... when I had cancer I wanted to tell you. How I feel about you. I was so ready... when you stepped into to the room that day with the chip and a hope of getting me cured I remained silent."

"What were you afraid of?"

"When I was deathly ill I knew that I had to tell you. I couldn't die without telling you. I wouldn't find my peace. But then I realized that there is maybe hope for me to survive. And I did survive. I guess I was afraid of being rejected. I was healthy... and I couldn't imagine to spend the rest of my life without seeing you again."

"What made you think that?"

"I thought that if you say 'no' that after a while you will keep distance from me and in the end leave me. As a friend, as a partner... as everything."

"Oh God... I'm sorry, Dana. I'm sorry that I said 'no' the first time. God...I loved you so much. Since the day you walked into my life I loved you. But I guess I was much more afraid than you were... of losing you. I guess that the thought terrified me so I kind of shied away. I thought Diana Fowley is going to make me forget about you after a while so I can see you as a friend and as partner. So I wouldn't fantasize of what kind of panties you're wearing when you come into my office. It obviously didn't work. As you know, Diana left me. She told me that I should tell you that I love you. And I wanted to... but then I saw you with that McNeill guy. It broke my heart but I decided not to give up. You know the rest..."

I smiled at him and started singing quietly: "In your eyes, Forbidden Love. In your smile, Forbidden Love. In your kiss, Forbidden Love. If I had one wish love would feel like this."

He laughed, surprised to hear me sing: "Yeah... the concert. I never forgot about that. When I was with Gibson in that trailer, I used to listen to the radio very often. Every time they played Madonna I used to think about you."

"Funny...me too. Maybe we listened to it at the same time sometimes."

"Maybe..."


Our bags were in the hallway. We were completely ready. I looked through the window to see if anyone is coming. Nothing for now. Fifteen minutes passed and I suddenly heard a noise coming from the outside. A black helicopter. Jesus, hopefully it's them. Mulder opened the door and stepped outside. I followed him. Good, it's the MIB guy. There were other people coming out of the helicopter, with some bags and other stuff.

"Come in. " Mulder said.

"Good decision Mr. Mulder."

"Yeah well, I have a stubborn future wife. " He grinned.

"So I have to thank Ms. Scully?"

"No, you don't. I wouldn't go if Mulder didn't agree to go," I said before Mulder got the chance to agree with him.

"Well that's great. This shouldn't take us long. We're just going to scan your eyes and type the data in the computer and then you're ready to wear the contacts."

"That's it? Normal contacts?" I asked curiously, not understanding why we need them if the point is to just scan our eyes.

"Not completely normal. They're made of a different kind of material... but the difference is so small that only a good analysis would approve the fact. You're eye pattern and form is unique as every other individual's is. We have that in our computers. Wearing the contacts allow the Super Soldiers to scan us just by looking at us. Of course people don't know that. They think it's all in the contacts. And the other difference is that no one is allergic to these contacts."

"What happens if you don't wear them?"

"Well, it's like driving a car without the license and being caught. You have one warning. The second time you go to jail until someone picks you up and until they check your criminal records, who you work for and you would be interviewed eventually, too."

"Sir, our equipment is ready. " The young man behind the MIB said. I'd give him about 24 ... how the hell did he get into the NSA Elite team by that age???

"We're ready when you are Agents."

I nodded. Mulder smiled at me. "What are you smiling at?"

"He called us agents. If someone asks who we are I'll just say 'We're the 'Agents'"

Of course he got me to the point where I had to roll my eyes and give him a You're-Insane look although I found the idea funny... even nice.

"I'm going first. I wanna get this over with. " He said as he turned to me to kiss me. "Hey Dana, wanna hold my hand? I hate it when someone does anything to my eyes. " I smiled at him and nodded. "Let's get this over with."

He was lying on his back on the couch. I was sitting next to him, holding his hand as promised. They took some kind of laser and started scanning his eyes. Not a minute passed and the young man turned to me and asked if I'm ready.

"You're done?" Mulder asked surprised.

"Yes sir...ma'am, would you exchange positions?" I grinned seeing Mulder's face and knowing that he's thinking what I'm thinking... we're real perverts...

I lied down and Mulder sat next to me to hold my hand.

"Done. now you should go over there where the blonde lady is sitting. She will tell you how to use contacts."

I saw from the distance that she was putting the contacts into some kind of fluid. I turned to look at Mulder realizing that he saw that too. He gave me one of those What-Are-You-Getting-Me-Into-Scully looks. I sat down on the chair. The woman smiled at us. Seeing our concerned faces she said: "You're worried? Well don't. The fluids are there so you can clean the lenses. You're going to clean them every two weeks. Every two years you're going to need to make an appointment with us so we can change them."

I was surprised that they can last that long, but I didn't want to ask how. I guess the lenses are totally different than the normal ones.

"You ready?"

"Yeah," I said. I took the contacts and slowly put them into my left eye following by the right one. It was pretty easy because I wore contacts sometimes. Mulder had some problems with it so the woman had to do it first and then he tried it again. with success this time.

"Jesus, this feels weird. " He said making a grimace.

"Come on Mulder, it isn't that bad."

The MIB approached, smiling. "Well, there you go. Now you have I. D's. If you're ready, we can go now."

We nodded at the same time. The other people took our bags. Everyone was outside of the house except Mulder an me. He kissed me once again before we stepped out completely. We looked at the awaiting helicopter and then looked at each-other. This was a big risk but we had to take it. He took my hand and we started approaching the helicopter. And so we left.


Washington, D. C.

"Where are we going now?" I asked. We were sitting in a black car. No one spoke a word since we left the house in New Mexico.

"We're going to your new house. We will leave you alone as soon as we make some arrangements."

Not a second passed since the MIB answered my question and the car already stopped. Impossible I thought. This can't be the house. It was a huge house, built in Spanish style. It was like they knew exactly my taste. The MIB opened the door and gave Mulder two keys.

"Wow. how big is this house?"

"Five bedrooms. 3 Guestrooms. One main kitchen. Two small ones next to the bedroom. 5 washrooms. One entertainment room. You have access to a swimming-pool inside the house, directly from your bedroom. An outside swimming-pool. 2 Offices for your work. One empty room . you can use it for files or whatever. One big play-room for children. There are also some other things that you'll find when you take a look around."

"Oh my God, this is too perfect. " I was literally in love with this house.

"Excuse me for a second. I have to call someone quickly."

I was looking around but I still tried to see if I can hear something. if I can hear the conversation the MIB had on the phone.

"Yeah. yeah. ok. Perfect... then bring him right over here now."

Bring who?

The MIB turned to me. "We can go upstairs to talk now. " We both just nodded.

"I'd appreciate not to be interrupted now. As I said before, there's no other catch than the one that you have to work for us in 2012, starting in January and ending whenever we stop the invasion. Your whole house is watched by cameras except your bedroom. If you want to have your privacy, you can. Your bedroom is the most safe part of the house. The windows are bullet-proof but the glass is not a regular bullet-proof glass. This one is much stronger than the ones used for cars or facilities etc. The whole house is very safe. The whole house is built with the normal material mixed with magnetite. If a super-soldier would step inside the house or even come close to it. it would die within few seconds. We will give you 6 weapons. Three for each of you. All three guns are containing bullets mixed with magnetite. One shot is enough to kill them. Agent Scully, you're going to be able to use our lab as much as you want. You'll have access day and night. As I said before, my wife was left barren too. We found a way to make the ova's viable again. It's a very complicated procedure but not life-threatening. If you would like to consider that, we'd be happy to help you. You'll have our credit cards and whenever you need something. anything, feel free to buy it. I know this sounds too perfect, but I really do want to stop the colonization. And I'd do everything in my power to make it stop. Ok. now if you have any questions . feel free to ask me."

Wow. this is too good. Questions? He literally answered everything. But Mulder of course had something to ask.

"Do we have any restrictions? You know. some places we can't visit. Some persons we can't visit? Something we're not allowed to do?"

"Well, we all know about your past Mr. Mulder. You pretty much used to be involved in a lot of things. We'd appreciate that you just be a normal family man for a while. I'm sure Dana would appreciate that. If you want you can plan your wedding, just leave the costs to us. Persons. well it's not necessary to go somewhere where you'll find a lot of Super Soldier's. They wouldn't recognize you. Now, all they see is your I. D. And as long as you don't point a finger at them saying 'super Soldier' everything is all right. But I don't know why risk it. You shouldn't go to the FBI. You can visit anyone you think you can trust or who will not harm you. There's also one more thing. Our people are everywhere. So if you get attacked our people are going to save you. But don't worry you will never see them."

Mulder looked at me and smiled. He was satisfied with MIB's answer. "Well I guess I can be a husband now. " He added. Every time they use the word husband or wife referring to us I feel something weird in my stomach.

I heard the door opening downstairs. "Well this is our major surprise for you". What could surprise me...Jesus Christ...this is not happening I felt tears coming down my face because of what I saw. An older woman in a tracksuit approached me carrying William. Mulder sat down on the couch, not believing his eyes.

"Miss Scully, Mr. Mulder I think this little boy belongs to you."

I took William in my arms whispering in his ears:" I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I should have never left you. Oh my baby-boy. " I leaned my head on Mulder's shoulders and he hugged me touching Williams face with his free hand.

"How is this possible?" I asked.

"William was only for a day with that family. We stole him at night. Those people. they were super soldiers. I don't exactly know what their intentions with William are or were but we needed to keep him safe. We knew that you will return back."

"How did you know?" Mulder asked. I wasn't able to speak. I was shocked that the people were super soldiers. I can't believe I haven't thought about that.

"To be honest, we didn't have any proof that you were alive. We believed in the predictions, as stupid and na‹ve as it may sound. What I also didn't mention before is that there is a room for William too. It's right next to your bedroom and it's as safe as your room. You will also have dogs in the yard at night and you have to make sure the alarm systems are on every time you close the door at night. The alarm systems we have here can't be shut down not even by a professional. Only by the 7 digit code you have. You are only going to tell me the code and no one else. Oh . and the phone lines are secure. No one will be able to trace your calls."

I was just looking at William. I wasn't able to speak. or to think. God, I thought I'll never see him again. Mulder was talking to the MIB, making sure he didn't miss something. When they were done the MIB finally said:" Well, if you have no more questions we'll leave you alone now...give you some privacy. If you need anything call me. The numbers are listed in the phone-book next to the phone. Your number is 555-3472. " He turned around ready to leave.

"Hey... thank you. " I was crying so I wasn't sure if he understood me. He gave me an understanding and warm look.

"Sure. I expect wedding invitations soon. " He smiled and then left.

Mulder closed the door and approached me with an amazed look. I know that he was afraid now. He missed more than one year of his son's life. But in his eyes I saw how ready he is for this. For fatherhood. The man who fought for the truth so much, two months ago, was now thinking about toys and weddings. Funny how things change. Although I didn't know that I can change Mulder like this. I didn't expect to. I loved him the way he was. but I don't protest now for sure. I love this Mulder. He took William and made him sit on his lap. William was learning how to speak obviously but still wasn't able to form a sentence.

"Hey. do you remember us? This is mommy and I'm daddy. " William looked at him and started giggling.

"Mommy," Was that my son saying that? Oh my God? I never thought I'd hear this. Tears were still falling down my face. Mulder leaned closer to kiss the tears away.

"Yes mommy. I am mommy. You remember, huh? And this is daddy. Daddy. " I repeated it few times to make him say it.

"Daa-dey" We both started laughing. He was so smart. Our baby...our son. Oh God don't tell me this is just a dream and if it is...don't wake me up.

Mulder took my hand and kissed it. His eyes were full of tears. "Dana, I have a family now. I am part of *a* family. You are my family. Oh God. My son just called me 'daddy'. I have a son, Dana."

I hugged him, pulling his face closer to me. William was still sitting on Mulder's lap. "Shh...of course this is your family Mulder. A family who loves you. " Seeing Mulder leaned on me William giggled and pulled on his hair.

"Oww. " Mulder protested, laughing.

William was repeating: "Daa-dey. " and giggled. I never saw him like this. I thought William was a pretty calmed baby. He didn't laugh very often but now he did. Maybe it's true that babies feel when someone is happy or sad. I was mostly sad when Mulder was gone. I didn't try to make him smile very often. He gave out a big yawn. It was pretty late.

"Mulder, it's 11 p. m. , maybe we should bring him to bed. " Mulder nodded not removing his eyes from his son. "I'd like to do this for the rest of the night too, but we have a whole day tomorrow."

We went through the long hallway, checking each room. There were so many rooms. Here it is finally. Wow. the whole room was great. It was big with tons of toys and a solar system wallpaper. We kissed our son good-bye and left the room. Mulder embraced me in the second we left William. He held me very close for a second and then kissed me. "I am the happiest man alive. For nine years I've been looking for the truth. I didn't realize that I had the truth right in front of me. I want this life Dana. I don't want to go back. to the FBI. to my investigations. to anything. Sam would want this for me."

Tears started filling my eyes again. His statements are always so honest and direct and they always make me cry.

By looking each room up I realized that they really wanted it to match our style. Mulder's office was right next to mine. Mine had green wallpapers, sunflowers and all my favorite CD's and on the desk a framed picture of Mulder and me taken three years ago at my mother's Christmas party. They must have taken a lot of stuff from my apartment. The same picture was found in his room. Mulder's room had dark blue wallpapers and on them there were tons of paperclips they took from his FBI office and in the middle of it there was the I want to Believe poster. Mulder started removing all the paper clips and the poster hysterically.

"What is it Mulder?"

"This is not my life anymore. 'I want to believe'. in what, Dana? If the one thing I believed in than it was you. This...the UFO. why would I believe in them? And I don't mean their existence . I know they exist but I wish they wouldn't. I wish that my theories were all insanely stupid and untrue. "

He ripped everything off until there was only the blue wallpaper left. "Much better."

After seeing the whole house we decided to go to bed. In the morning I'll call mom and tell her that she can come and visit. She'll be so surprised to see us. Our bedroom was huge. It had a fireplace and just a door parted it from the kitchen and washroom. Mulder held me close, kissing me on the forehead. "I know we barely moved in but do you want to plan the wedding?" That was the directness I was talking about. He was as impatient as I was. I kissed him in response. "Can't wait."

"I love you, Dana."

"Love you Mulder."

"Dana?"

"Hmm. ?"

"You can call me Fox if you want."

"Mulder I know you hate that name."

"I know but you're going to be my wife soon and I assume that you will be Dana Mulder then. It's ok. You're special. I'll let you call me Fox."

"Ok. Depends on the situation. I might call you Mulder sometimes. But it's ok. Don't worry...and yes, I'll take your last name. I like to follow some traditions."

"Hmm...thanks. Sweet dreams, Dana."

"You too, Mul...Fox."


November 14th, 2015

"What happened then, mom?"

"Well, we've got married and lived pretty much a normal life. I gave birth to Samantha less than a year after."

"What about the Colonization?"

I looked at Mulder, not sure whether I should talk about this. Our children had been underground for two years, somewhere in New Mexico. They never saw anything in those two years...and better so. Never in the history of man-kind had been so much loss on Earth.

"Oh. I'm not sure... we can't talk about this."

"Oh come on mom! You promised when you sent us underground that you will explain... Don't tell me I had to listen to that too romantic, unrealistic story of you and dad just to find out this much."

"Unrealistic?" Mulder finally said.

"Oh come on dad, I bet you did the naked pretzel when you first met."

Mulder looked at me unsure how to respond to this.

"Well...back to the story."

"See Mel, the grown-ups are so see-through" Samantha was talking to her younger sister Melissa.

"Do you want to hear part of the story or not?"

"Yeah ok."

"Then listen to your father."

"Just a part of the story... Well, your mom was the real hero. She developed a vaccine. Cloning was a big part of it. She took my blood cells and cloned tons of it. The whole NSA medical team and everyone who cooperated with us was working on reproducing my blood cells. And as you all know there is something in my blood that kills the aliens. We had people who cooperated with us all over the world. at least one person in each hospital. For years we were making the contacts-I. D. mixed with the substance. In November 2012, when we finally had more than enough for everyone, we ordered that everyone has to change their old I. D. 's for the new, 'updated' ones. There were some who didn't do it...and the aliens knew what these new contacts were made of. That just a touch with the substance will make people immune to the virus. But it was impossible to stop it. Those who were fighting, had the magnetite loaded guns and weapons in general. after a 6 months long war most of them were killed. Some left the earth in the end..."

"Um Fox."

"Yeah, what is it?"

"I think it's enough. " I saw where he was going. Some aliens are still here on earth, we're doing lab-tests on them...I personally think it's a bad idea. But the agencies wanted to have them. He probably wanted to mention the spaceships. In the end they left. but for all we know. they could be coming back tomorrow.

"Your mother is right. But I have to say one more thing. " Before I could stop him he "shhh" me. "You were wrong in one thing Sam. Dana and I were partners for a long period of time. But there really was nothing going on...in fact, your mother made the first move. If she didn't ask me to be the father of her child I don't know how long if ever it would have taken for us to get together. " There you go. He had to say it. I think he'd rather die than prove Sam wrong in this.

"I believe you. " Melissa, our youngest said. Samantha just rolled with her eyes. Mulder used to tell me that she's got that from me...I don't remember doing that. Do I?

ding-ding

Well, something had to interrupt our hour long story telling. And I was glad because they would have asked questions they're just not supposed to know.

"Dana Mulder speaking." I said in a more than ethusiastic voice.

"Hi, Dana. I was thinking about something."

"What is it, mom?"

"Well, I know you're pretty busy lately and that William is getting ready for the military school and I still *do* think he's too young, but."

"Yes?. Mom what is it?"

"Well. Dana we all know that there's not much time for me left. This illness is killing me. And the past few years I haven't had the chance to celebrate Christmas with my family. all of them. so I was thinking that maybe this year."

I interrupted her, knowing what she wanted to say: "Oh mom, don't talk like that. Of course we'll make it and don't talk like this is your last Christmas. " I knew exactly that this Christmas is most likely her last one. She hid her cancer for years from me, and now it's in its last stages. I cannot believe that after all these years cancer wasn't defeated. We even found a cure for AIDS and the alien virus but cancer was still the same life-threatening disease as it was when I had it. I guess the predictions were in some way wrong after all.


December 25th, 2015

"Fox? You ready?"

"Yep... but we obviously have to wait for Samantha...Samantha!!!"

"I'm coming! Just give me a minute!" she yelled from upstairs.

"Dana, why didn't you tell me that we're going to have a teen daughter one day."

I raised an eyebrow. "Few more years and you'll be experiencing the same with Melissa."

"No, no, no... the teen-demons are not going to take away my little daughter."

"Ah we'll see."

"And now I'll have to deal with your big bro. Jesus, is this day ever going to end?"

"Fox!"

"What...?! Can't blame a guy who just wants to spend a little time with his wife."

He pushed me against the wall and kissed me. Funny how after so many years we still had that 'something'.

"Eww! Mom, Dad...don't EVER do that in front of us!"

We just smiled at each otherand watched our daughters go. Samantha is going to be 13 soon but was already fully in her teen phase and Melissa is our youngest, 8 years old. Time passes by so quickly. The X-Files. everything. seems like it happened yesterday and not years ago.


Later

I don't know how much we have left...but I am enjoying every second with Fox and the kids. Our lives may have been hard but what I see what we have now and what we've accomplished I am happy for every second and everything that happened to us. Even when we were in the middle of the invasion... I felt something...I knew it's going to be good. I wasn't afraid for a reason whatsoever. I don't know why Fox and I ended up together. In every single life before we were just friends. true, we've always felt more than that. something was always missing. This time. everything just feels right. I couldn't have imagined a better husband than Fox.

And even though we're close to our 60s I feel like I'm 20 and I know he feels it too. When I look at his face I do see wrinkles and a bit of gray hair here and there but his eyes tell stories. It's amazing. I was scared to be old. Not scared to grow old without anyone but I was generally scared to become an old woman. But just by looking into his eyes I know that there's nothing to be scared of... and even if we smell like 'old' people and lose our rational minds one day there's eventually hope to continue this journey in next life...with my one... and only soul-mate.

 

The End


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