Title: Dream?
Author: Emily Miller
Written: 1998
ARCHIVE: At Gossamer, ask for anywhere else
CLASSIFICATION: SA
KEYWORDS: pre-xf
RATING: PG
SPOILERS: Paper Hearts (sort of)

SUMMARY: Did Mulder dream a comfort? Was it an angel? Or Samantha?

DEDICATION: To Kristyn Collins, AKA SisKris, of the OBSSE Brat Pack. She says she likes my stories, that's enough for a dedication by my rules! :) Oh, and read her stories. They're really good. And there's about a million of them, so if you like one, there's lots more.


I see her in the yard. She's on that rope swing Dad put up last year, giggling and singing to herself loudly enough that I can hear her through the open window. I'm in trouble again, for getting mad at her at lunch.

Actually, its nice to just sit by the window and watch her. She's so special to me, which is weird, I know. I never want anything to ever happen to either of us that could separate us, so of course I come up with all sorts of horrible things in my mind: car crashes, cancer, drunk drivers...

She's okay though, for now, pigtails flying as she twirls and spins and laughs. She doesn't know anyone's watching. I like that, seeing the most private parts of her life. The parts where she doesn't hide because Dad's looking at her with that stern look he always does. I wish she would be like a normal girl more often.

She throws her head back and looks at me, a big grin crossing her face.

Maybe she DID know I was watching. "Hi, Fox!" she says when our eyes meet.

I smile and wave. If I yelled, Dad might hear me.

He's home for one of the first times this month, and making our lives as miserable as always. Mom escaped to a friend's house early this morning, leaving us alone with him. And I got in trouble.

In the yard, she's spinning so fast that she's a blur, laughing loudly.

She finally stops and goes the other way so that the rope unwinds. I shake my head, trying not to laugh.

She sees my look when she can see straight again and immediately becomes the daredevil. "Look!" she says, jumping from the swing and walking it back as far as it can go so that she can still reach it. "Look at me, Fox!"

"I'm looking!" I risk calling, wondering what she's going to try.

She runs with the swing and leaps. "Samantha!" I yell, too late. She launched herself into the air, trying to jump on. But I can tell before it happens that she's not going to make it.

Her small body keeps going, hitting the tree that the swing is tied to with a horrible smacking noise. And she screams.

I'm running from the room, down stairs, even as Dad tells me to get back in there, he'll find out what happened. I've gotten her hurt again. I can never do anything right, anything, ever...

 


 

Tears are on my cheeks when I wake. I'm not at home, not my home in Chilmark. My dirty, smelly apartment. But someone is with me, someone holding me while I cry.

"It's okay, Fox," she says. "It's okay."

"I didn't mean to... I'm sorry... that cast... it had to stay on so long..."

"But not forever, right?"

"Never got to go back on the swing... Dad took it down..."

"Shh... it's okay."

Someone is stroking my face now, very softly. Eventually, tears slow and sleep overcomes me again...


"Mulder?" Scully's voice wakes me this time. I blink a few times in the light, see her standing in the door. She's dressed for work. I glance at the clock and curse to myself. I slept WAY in.

The rememberance of earlier hits me hard. "Scully?" I ask.

"Yeah?"

"Were you here earlier?"

She looks at me curiously. "No. Why?"

The End

 

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