Title: Baby Girl Window
Author: Becka F.
Written: July 2001
Rating: G
Disclaimer: They aren't mine. I'm just playing with them for a while.

Summary: I know a place where heaven breathes, and it's through her window, your baby girl's window.

Author's note: This is a prequel to a story I wrote called And I Drove Away . Both stories take place while Mulder is abducted. Please read it before or after you read this!

I got a great idea from a friend about including a song by Robbie Williams called "Baby Girl Window". It couldn't fit more perfectly with the story. Thanks Satch X! You are such an inspiration.

Here it is. Enjoy!


I've got your rainbows seen your sunbeams
I know a place where heaven breathes
And it's through her window
Your baby girl's window

I know you're happy where you are
Singing to the moon talking to the stars
Through her window
Your baby girl's window

There's fingermarks around her soul
But your laughter fills the hole
Through her window
Your baby girl's window

Aaah I wish you would stay
Aaah to see what she made of herself

People say you were gone too soon
I see your face when flowers bloom
Through her window
Your baby girl's window
I'm looking for the words to say
Something to take her pain away
Through her window
Aaah I wish you would stay
Aaah to see what she made of herself


I remember the day They told me she was born. It was the first time I cried in a long time. I was so happy. I was so happy for Scully. She was finally a mother. I remember the day They told me I would be allowed to see her grow up.

You could have knocked me over with a feather.

Never in a million years did I expect Them to allow me that kind of an opportunity. It hadn't even crossed my mind. Not once.

But They kept their promise.

Granted, I didn't get to see much. But it was enough.

I got to see every single birthday. I got to be around for holidays, special occasions, and even Mother's Day. But I never could stick around for Father's Day. I just didn't think I could do it. To this day, I never have been able to.

I shouldn't complain. Having the opportunity to see her grow up is the sole reason I make it through each day. But it's bittersweet.

It's like watching her life fly by through a two-way mirror. I can see in, but she can't see out. She doesn't know I'm there.

But I know she's there. And Scully is with her. And they're both okay. I guess that's enough.

For now.

I say for now because They have, without fail, assured me from the very beginning that They will one day return me to them. They haven't told me when, or how, but They have solemnly vowed They will stay true to Their word.

I have no reason to believe otherwise. They have kept Their promises so far.

And that's what keeps me going.

Sometimes in my darkest hour I think back to when she was a baby. That was when They would allow me to watch her sleep at night. And I would. For hours on end. I would stand outside her window and watch her tiny chest move up and down, slowly and steadily.

Scully was always in there too, more so when she was really young. Sometimes she would rock her to sleep in her arms, and sometimes she would stand there and watch her sleep like me. I imagined that I was standing with her, being able to hold her again and have her holding me as we watched our child dream. Sometimes it was too much for me to bear, and I had to leave.

Other times, the night seemed too short.

I would take refuge outside my baby girl's window all night and simply watch. Keep guard. It was my ultimate haven.

That was so long ago.

But I still go back to her window whenever I feel that familiar pang in my heart. You know, the one that suffocates you so you can hardly breathe. When you miss your loved ones so much that it hurts.

Now that she's older, she usually gets in later. But I still wait patiently for her. She always comes. She's a good girl.

Scully waits up for her every time. I wish I could be waiting up with her, calming her and reassuring her that her baby is safe.

But I guess I am, in my own way. Even if they both don't know it yet.

Yes, I still stand outside my baby girl's window.

And I always will.

Until that mirror breaks. And I can finally look in and have her see me.

The End


More Author's Notes:

1. This story is a prequel to "And I Drove Away", also written by me. Check it out if you haven't already done so:)

2. I wrote And I Drove Away before knowing the sex of Mulder and Scully's baby, William, as well before knowing if Mulder was going to even return to the show for the 8th season. This is just a different take on if Mulder HADN'T returned (God forbid) and if their baby was a girl:)

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